


Born on Third Base

by kiddle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Coming of Age, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Partying, Pining, Pranks, Private School, Rich Louis, Road Trips, Roommates, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smart Harry, Sneaking Out, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 115,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9275669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiddle/pseuds/kiddle
Summary: “We have lived very different lives, you and I."“And yet, here we both are.”--All his life Harry figured the recipe for success was to work hard, follow the rules, and have a plan. In school he always had the top marks in his class. He knew what university he wanted to get into, and he knew what he wanted to study. What was not part of his plan was getting accepted for a scholarship to the most elite private boarding school in the country.So, deciding that the opportunity best not go to waste, Harry shows up for his first and last year at Rockcrest Academy for Boys. There, he meets his roommate, Louis, who is seemingly popular, rich, rebellious, on the football team, and has a thing for movies from the 80s and 90s.  They shouldn't be friends. They come from two different worlds. But with help from a secret off-campus car, and a determination to break the rules, they hit it off. And somehow along the way, they show each other the parts of life they're each missing out on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another fic in the new year just like I promised! Updates should be every week or two, but this is the first time I'm actually writing as I update so bear with me because I only have an outline and a couple of chapters to get the ball rolling. I'm usually pretty good with keeping to my schedule though, so if you have to yell at me to update in the comments I probably deserve it.  
> Also a side note about the details of the school system: I really tried with my research to make sure it was accurate, but forgive my Canadian ignorance if any inaccuracies occur. As for for Louis' character's parents, I used my own original characters for reasons that should become obvious as the story progresses. Any warnings needed will be listed above individual chapters, but overall there's really nothing worthy of a major warning.  
> Honestly, this story has been a lot easier and more fun to write so far than any of my works in the past so I really hope you like it! It will also be quite a bit longer than I'm used to so I'm really looking forward to that. Thanks in advance for reading and let me know what you think or any predictions you might have because I love seeing those!  
> Enjoy!

Harry was sat on the right side of the train, close enough to the front that he could get out without waiting too long for the passengers ahead of him. The journey to London was long, rounding on the fourth hour by the time they reached the city. Harry had only been to London three times in his life. Once was a family toad trip when he was five. His mum and dad decided to take him and his sister, Gemma, to the city for a holiday. Harry didn’t remember much from that trip except that it was the last one they took as a family of four.

The second time was an accident. He was supposed to be visiting Oxford University for a tour of the grounds with one of his friends from school when they somehow managed to get on the wrong connecting train and ended up at a station in London. Though they only spent one day there, that’s when Harry truly fell in love with the city. And when they got to Oxford, he fell in love with the school just the same. Oxford was his top choice for schools, seeing as he had the highest grades in his year back at his public school in Cheshire. Which leads to trip number three, the first time he visited Rockcrest Academy, Private School for Boys.

Rockcrest Academy was the most elite school in Britain. To get in, you had to be one of two things: super smart or super rich. Luckily, Harry had the brains, but it took him until his final year of school to get a placement on a full scholarship. He could’ve gotten in earlier had his mum been able to pay the ridiculous cost of tuition. Knowing there was no way his family could afford it, he didn’t even bother asking.

The day he got his scholarship offer was one of the single best days of Harry’s life. His mom cooked him his favourite dinner, homemade vegetable lasagna, and practically was in tears as she repeatedly told Harry how proud she was of him.

“Congrats, little brother,” Gemma had said to him, a sly grin on her face as she peered to him across the dinner table. Their mum had just got up for a glass of water so she spoke in almost a whisper so their mum wouldn’t hear, “At least one of us is getting out of this town.”

Gemma had finished all of her schooling up to university. It wasn’t like she couldn’t get in- she was in the top percentage in her year as well- she just knew that if she left, Harry and their mum would suffer financially. After their father left, their mum was forced to go from a stay-at-home mother to finding a full-time job with the very little experience she had. She never allowed Harry to take on a part-time job knowing that it would take away from his studies. Gemma, on the other hand, had been working since she was twelve years old, even against their mother’s wishes.

Harry always felt bad about their sacrifice, but he also knew if he worked hard enough through school then he could get a great job out of university and be able to fully provide for his family. He’d buy his mum a big house with more room than they needed and send Gemma back to school so she could make money doing something she actually enjoyed. For all the sacrifices his mum and sister made for their family, he would become more determined to make their lives better.

When the train stopped, Harry already had his bags collected and was the first out of his seat. He rushed quickly to the door and stepped out onto the busy platform, heart pounding with excitement. On a Saturday afternoon, Harry supposed the amount of people rushing around him should be expected.

Harry tried not to spend too long taking in his surroundings since he knew there would be a car waiting to take him to Rockcrest. He was more than prepared, already dressed in his green blazer with a matching stripped tie and black trousers. After all, it was his first day. He wanted to make a good impression.

When his mum saw him off at the bus station earlier that day, she had tightened his tie and gave him a kiss on each cheek, trying to hold back tears. His mum really did cry for everything, but this was the longest she’d ever go without seeing him. Gemma was much simpler with her goodbyes, ruffling his curls and going on her tiptoes to give him a hug. Only last summer they were the same height. Now Harry was easily a head taller than her.

“Mister Harry Styles?” asked an older and rather pudgy man with a balding head and a white moustache. He was waiting outside a black town car parked on the side of the road.

“Yes, that’s me,” Harry said, dropping one bag so he could stick out a hand and shake the driver’s. “And you are?”

“Patrick. It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr Styles,” Patrick replied with a broad grin. “Please, let me take your bags.” He reached down to take the bags out of Harry’s grasp. There were so many Harry was attempting to carry two in the same hand while he had a suitcase in the other and a messenger bag over his shoulder.

“Oh, it’s alright. I can put them in the car myself.”

“Please, Mr Styles, I insist.”

There was no persuading the man as he already had the trunk open and was taking the bags right from Harry’s hands and stacking them efficiently. Harry, not sure what to do with himself, watched awkwardly as he pulled off his shoulder bag.

“Would you like that with your other bags as well?” Patrick asked from behind the car.

“I’ll just keep this one up here with me, thanks.”

Patrick slammed the trunk shut and hurried around to the back passenger side so he could open the door for Harry.

“Um, thank you,” Harry muttered, sliding into the back seat.

There was no doubting Harry wasn’t used to this kind of treatment. He’d hardly even have his mum drive him around anywhere, never mind a chauffeur. Back home, it was either bike or walk until a few of his friends started getting their licenses. That was something Harry still had to work on. He hadn’t even sat in the driver’s seat of a car before.

“I trust you had a good trip here, Mr Styles?” Patrick asked during the first few minutes of the car ride. Harry busied himself by looking out the window at the tall buildings that appeared to be made of glass and slowly turned into small shops as drove out of the inner city.

“I did, thank you. Just Harry is fine, by the way.”

Patrick glanced at Harry curiously through the rear view mirror then back at the road. His hands gripped the steering wheel with leather driving gloves.

“Very well, Harry,” he spoke again, hesitantly this time. “I’m sure you will very much enjoy your time at Rockcrest Academy.”

“I think so as well. So do you drive students on and off campus all of the time, or only at the beginning of the year?” Harry asked kindly.

“Oh, um, well,” Patrick stuttered as if he had never been asked a question about his work before, “My duties include transportation for many of the schools guests throughout the year as well. But yes, on rare occasions students will have permission to leave the grounds and I, or one of the other chauffeurs, will be the one to assist in that matter.”

“So you must know a lot of the students and teachers then. Anyone I should be looking out for?” there was humour in his voice and Patrick let out a deep chuckle.

“I think its best you find that out for yourself.”

Rockcrest Academy was just outside of London in a more rural area to allow space for how large the campus was. The town car drove through the cast iron gate along a cobblestone driveway where they pulled up just in front of the main building. Harry remembered the dining hall and main offices to be here. Out of the seven buildings, he knew the other six were the maths and sciences building, the arts, languages, and humanities building, the recreational hall, the library (where he was sure he’d be spending most of his time), and the two dormitories- one for years 7-9, and the other for year 10 and up.

Even while having seen it before, Harry still stared at the old stone buildings in amazement. Surrounding them were beautiful gardens and shrubbery. The grass was the perfect shade of green and was neatly kept. Pathways rounded each building where students were already walking around, some socializing and others carrying their belongings to the dorms. Harry couldn’t believe this would be the school he was attending for his last year.

Harry opened the car door before Patrick could get to him. He was only a second too late and tried to mask his look of defeat as Harry stepped out. Without sparing Harry hardly a moment to take it all in, a boy with short brown hair and a whimsical smile was already greeting him with an outstretched hand.

“You must be Harry Styles. I’m Liam Payne, the prefect for your year. I’m told you’re new here so I’ll be showing you around and to your dorm, if that’s all right with you.” Liam’s voice was cheery and sounded almost rehearsed. The smile didn’t leave his face even after they shook hands.

“Um, yes, of course,” Harry affirmed, just now noticing that Patrick was pulling his bags out of the trunk behind them. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You as well. Here, let me help you with your bags. We’ll head to Lister Hall first. That’s the dorm building for the older years. Thank you, Patrick.” Liam acknowledged the man, who replied with a small wave.

“Yes, thanks, Patrick,” Harry repeated, turning around to say it as he followed Liam.

“Good luck, Harry!” Patrick called back.

Liam led Harry down the path to the nearest building on their right. The first thing Harry noticed about the other students was that they weren’t dressed in their uniforms like he was.

“I suppose no one told you, but you only have to wear your uniform on Mondays. For the rest of the weekdays, a simple polo or jumper with jeans or trousers is recommended. You didn’t hear this from me, but really you can just wear whatever you want. These rich prats wouldn’t know a rule if it bit them in the prat.”

“So you aren’t…?”

“Full scholarship. Got it in my eleventh year. I heard you were the same. Here from Cheshire, right?”

“How did you know?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“News travels fast around here. We don’t get many new kids so don’t get freaked out if anyone already knows a lot about you. Most of these guys have been here right from year seven and practically think they run the place just because their parents have money. Born on third base, but thought they hit a triple, y’know?”

They had just reached the steps of Lister Hall and Liam lifted the rolling suitcase off its wheels as they climbed up. The double doors looked like they were made from rich mahogany and had large windows in each. Liam pulled one open then made a sharp left into the admin’s office, telling Harry to wait where he was in the large entryway. Hanging above him was the largest chandelier he’d ever seen and the rug spread out on the floor looked like it was meant for royalty. He felt like he should take his shoes off before entering, but ultimately decided against it.

Liam returned moments later with a manila envelope and a keyring with one key attached to it. “You’re on the third floor, follow me.”

They stepped onto the lift that was just down the hallway and waited patiently for it to ding on their floor. A dark haired boy was waiting for his turn when the door opened again and smiled at the ground as he waited for them to step off. Liam continued to lead six more doors down until they were in from of number thirty-four.

“So, this is my room?” Harry asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“That it is. Would you like to do the honours?”

Liam handed over the key and Harry happily accepted it to unlock the door. He opened it slowly to examine the room he was about to walk into. There was one bed against the right wall and another perpendicular to the centre. Wardrobes took up each corner with a desk next to them, one underneath a large window. What Harry wasn’t expecting, however, was the boy standing in the middle of the room wearing only his pants and a white dressing gown.

“Oops, sorry, did we walk in on something?” Harry took a step back, ready to close the door again.

“Oh, hi mate! No, not at all.” The boy flashed them a toothy smile and looked back down at the hardcover book that was in his hands. Harry noticed, but didn’t mention that the book was upside down.

“Speaking of rich prats, this is your roommate, Louis Tomlinson. Louis, this is Harry Styles.” Liam gestured between the two.

“Oi, look who’s calling who a prat. You made prefect this year, Payno, which means a whole lot of hell will be coming your way. Don’t think I didn’t spend the last few weeks of my holiday planning for this when you told me.” Louis shook a finger at Liam and dropped the book on the bed that already had his open bags on it. Harry supposed that meant the other one was his.

“And you’ll have a whole lot of detentions coming your way if you don’t keep that mouth of yours shut,” Liam retorted. Louis ignored the comment and brought his attention forward to Harry, taking a step towards him.

“So you’re that Styles kid everyone keeps talking about, yeah? One of the top marks in the country and all that?”

“I suppose so.”

He looked Harry up and down like he wasn’t quite content with his answer. Louis was only shorter than Harry by a few inches, but his stance was much broader and confident. His face was sharp and his eyes narrow. If he wasn’t stood in his underwear at the moment, one might even call him intimidating.

“Well then, you can have that side of the room,” Louis gestured vaguely to the side with the bed pressed up against the wall. Harry nodded and dropped his bags onto the bare mattress.

Liam was still standing near the door, envelope in hand. “This is your class schedule, the student handbook, and just a few other forms you’ll need to fill out. Bring them back to the main office whenever you get the chance.”

“Great, thanks,” Harry said accepting the envelope.

“I’ll let you get settled in. Just let me know when you’re ready to tour the rest of the grounds. I’m in room thirty at the end of the hall.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry sent him off with a smile then turned his attention back to Louis, who was staring at him intently.

“Cheshire, is it?” Louis crossed his arms in front of him and tilted his head back slightly. “Where you’re from, I mean.”

“Yes,” Harry breathed a slight laugh out of discomfort as he removed his jacket and tossed it onto the bed behind him.

“Anyone tell you that you don’t have to wear that God-awful uniform every day?”

“No,” his tone remained the same when he turned around to unzip his luggage.

Louis crossed the room slowly, a graceful stride with each step. He pulled open the drawer of his nightstand to retrieve a shiny metal flask. Harry turned around soon enough to see him take a small swig, grinning as he swallowed the contents. “Not much of a talker, are you Henry?”

“Harry. It’s Harry,” he replied timidly and returned to folding his trousers.

“Right, of course.” Louis took another sip before offering the flask out to Harry, who politely shook his head. “You don’t talk much, do you Harry?” He tried again.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, which made Louis laugh as he returned the flask to its spot in the drawer. Stuttering to recover Harry said, “I mean, yeah.”

“Yeah, you don’t talk much, or yeah, you do talk?” Louis’ smile was friendlier than Harry had originally gathered, loosening the tension he initially felt in the room.

“Sometimes, yeah, I can talk a lot. Just not right now, I suppose.”

Backing up a few steps, Louis dropped on the foot of his bed, sitting on one of his folded legs. Harry took a glance at the book that was still on the bed- the one Louis was reading upside down when he first walked in. It was their maths textbook for the first term. There was no way Louis was trying to get a head start, was there? Especially if he couldn’t even manage to hold the book the right way.

“Are you here on a scholarship as well?” Harry asked, already pretty sure he knew the answer.

“With my marks? Not a chance,” Louis snorted a laugh, “My father is on the school board and is an alumnus himself. Same with my grandfather and his father. That’s the only reason I’ve made it this far.”

“So that’s what Liam meant when he called you a…”

“Rich prat?” Louis finished for him, “Yeah, well, I can’t say it doesn’t have its perks. It’s mostly perks, actually.”

“Do you have brothers that attend the school as well?”

“Brothers? No. I don't have any siblings. It’s just my parents and I back in Doncaster. My father hates London, but still sends me here to hang out with the fellow rich snobs.” Louis gestured vaguely out the window.

“My mum hates London too. Bad memories here, I think.”

“What, she get robbed in the street or som’n like that?”

“Something like that, I guess.”

Harry looked back down at the mess of clothes in front of him. He should probably get those into his wardrobe so he could get back to Liam. Not that he didn’t enjoy talking to Louis, but the first day of classes was tomorrow and he really wanted to make sure he was prepared. And there was something about Louis that gave him a bit of an odd vibe. Most likely because he was still only wearing underwear and a dressing gown and kept a flask of alcohol in his bedside table. Who needs alcohol that readily available? And at two o’clock in the afternoon? He had a feeling Louis would not be someone he had to worry about competing with for top marks this year.

 

By the time Liam was finished giving Harry his tour, it was already dinner time so they decided to head over to the dining hall together. Upon walking in, Harry could already hear the bustling chatter of the students before they even entered the main eating area. Four large chandeliers hung from the tall ceiling above the many tables that crowded the room. The teachers sat at a much larger table at the back while students were dispersed in tables of around ten each. The food was set out like a buffet just in front of the door where Liam led him to begin.

Taking a large porcelain plate from the stack, Harry loaded up on roast chicken and potatoes with two of the many kinds of salad offered as well as a dinner roll. As soon as he smelled the food he realized he hadn’t eaten since the bowl of cereal he had for breakfast back home before getting on the train.

Harry followed Liam once more to a table of people that Harry assumed must all be Liam’s friends. He was starting to feel like a lost puppy following Liam around all day, but he supposed he really would be lost if it wasn’t for him. Besides, Liam didn’t seem to mind too much anyway.

Cautiously, Harry took a seat at the end of the table across from Liam and next to a blonde-haired boy. He tried to glance at each of their faces to make sure he was welcome, before stopping at the blonde boy who offered him a grin in return. Right away Harry noticed Louis sitting diagonal from him, actually wearing clothes this time and studying him with that same steady, yet friendly stare.

“Lads, this is the new kid,” Liam announced to the table as he settled into his seat. “Harry, you already know Louis. That’s TJ, Zayn, Rob, Jonathan, and Niall,” he pointed to each one, landing on the boy next to him. Harry recognized Zayn as the boy waiting near the lift earlier that day almost immediately. They must’ve had rooms on the same floor.

“Nice to meet ya, Harry,” Niall said with a wave. In his mind Harry was glad Niall didn’t want to shake his hand. He had shaken so many people’s hands today he felt like he might pick up some sort of virus.

“You’re the kid from up north with all the brains, is that right?” Jonathan asked from the opposite end of the table. He was small and had curly hair that was wilder than Harry’s with wire framed glasses that sat on his nose.

Harry nodded, “News travels fast, so I hear.”

“Hey, Harry, you planning on trying out for football this year?” Rob’s question came out more like a shout. From next to Zayn, he looked quite built and had hair sculpted almost as well as his jawline.

“I don’t think so,” Harry breathed a laughed. “I’m quite shit at football, if I’m being honest.”

“You can’t be that bad,” Niall assured, “Louis’ one of the worst players I’ve seen and he made the team last year.”

From under the table came a thud causing Niall to yelp and grab his shine.

“Watch it, Horan,” Louis sneered, glaring at him.

“Tryouts are after class on Thursday if you’re interested,” Rob added, ignoring the conflict between the other two. “I’m captain so I’ll be picking the team with Coach.”

“Thanks, but I think my classes will keep me quite busy.”

“Clubs and teams are overrated anyway,” TJ spoke up next. Harry looked at him carefully, trying to remember what he looked like so he could match all of their names to their faces later on. His face was round and features soft with red-ish blonde hair.

“You only say that because you’d rather be stuck up in your room with a guitar all day,” Jonathan retaliated.

“And what’s wrong with that exactly?”

Niall leaned into Harry’s shoulder to mumble to him, “Good luck trying to get a word in around here. They’re obnoxious, all of them. Except Zayn, of course, but you’d be lucky to get a word _out_ of him.”

Harry looked at the quiet boy a few seats down and across from him. He was watching the conversation unfold and laughing where appropriate. A piece of potato was stuck on his fork that he was just about to take a bite of. Harry noticed he had a large spiral shape drawn on the back of his left hand, clearly made with pen considering the smudges.

“Is there a reason he’s so quiet?” Harry whispered back.

“Not really. He’s a brilliant artist if he ever lets you see his work. His mum works behind the scenes in the music business so he comes from a creative family. Still fits in well here, I’d say. We’ve all got along great since Louis introduced him to us last year.”

Niall’s voice must have been getting louder as he spoke because Louis’ head shot up at the mention of his name. His face looked eager to change the subject so Niall, taking the hint, turned back to his plate.

“Harry, I know you said you’re not big into footie, but we were going to head out for a quick game in the west field after dinner,” Louis began, voice cheery.

“Louis…” Liam said in a voice that sounded like a warning, but Louis ignored him.

“Even Liam plays, so you know it’s all for fun. Do you want to join us around nine?”

“Uh, sure, I suppose,” Harry nodded, poking at his salad. He wasn’t lying when he said he was awful at football, but he appreciated being included. If he could make friends on his first day here without even having attended one class yet, he’d say he was doing pretty well.

“Great,” Louis beamed, “Make sure not to be late.”

At five-to-eight Harry left his room to meet the others for the match. Louis had never come back to the dorms after dinner, but Harry didn’t mind so much. He liked having the room to himself for a bit so he could get more settled in and unpack the rest of his belongings.

He was dressed in simple joggers and trainers with a light jacket as he walked the pavement path towards where he remembered Liam showed him the west field was. It shouldn’t have been too hard to find, however, since it was just behind the recreational building and was surrounded by bleachers.

While it was quite dark out, Harry couldn’t help but notice there were no other students around him. During his walk, he only passed one other boy as he strolled underneath a lamp, but the boy was rushing into Lister Hall. Regardless, this was only Harry’s first day here. He didn’t know what the campus would be like at different times.

He pulled out his phone to check the time once more. _8:59._ He was right on schedule. The others should already be waiting out in the-

Just as the field was in site, Harry heard a loud rattling and suddenly his legs were wet, then his arms, then his face, and suddenly his whole body was soaking. So was the pavement and the grass around him. _Of course,_ Harry sighed and dropped his head, shaking it slowly to himself as his clothes began to stick to his body, _the sprinklers._

When Harry returned to room 34, he made sure to slam the door with enough force to make a noise, but not enough to disturb the other students. He stomped forward, trainers squeaking from the water, until he was in direct sight of Louis. This time, Louis was laying casually on his bed with a red shirt and boxer shirts on and a comic in his hands that was actually facing the right way. His bedside light was on, the only one in the room until Harry flicked on the switch for the main light.

“Really great match. Didn’t see you there, though,” Harry said sarcastically, a bit of a bite in his tone. From his bed, Louis grinned once more, a grin Harry now found now to be quite fake.

“Darn, did I say nine? I meant eight. The sprinklers turn on at nine,” Louis said before slowly turning back to his comic, trying desperately to hold back his laughter.

“Yeah, I got that,” Harry snapped back. He peeled the jacket off his arms and tossed it on his bed then began searching for a clean shirt and pair of boxers. Louis was watching him again, the smile gone from his face.

“Don’t worry, mate, a new kid falls for that one every year. You weren’t the first and you certainly won’t be the last,” Louis reassured, bringing his eyes back to the comic when Harry turned to face him.

Harry didn’t care too much for the statement so instead, with a glare, he replied, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Louis.”


	2. Chapter 2

A slamming of the dorm room door is what woke Harry up the next morning. Fortunately for him, it was Monday, meaning first day of classes. Unfortunately, he slept in about twenty minutes past his alarm. He still had thirty minutes to get to class, but he wanted to have a comfortable amount of time to get ready, not be rushing.

Kicking his blankets to the foot of his bed like a child, Harry stretched his neck and squinted his eyes to look at Louis’ bed, which was empty and unmade. As well, his clothes from the day before were scattered on the ground and two of his dresser drawers were still open. Good to know Harry had a slob for a roommate.

Collecting a towel, his toiletries bag, and clothes for the day, Harry headed out the door to the showers at the end of the hall. Of course since he woke up late, he had to wait in line behind three other students. He didn’t recognize any of them from dinner last night and none said anything to him, so he kept quiet during the wait. Instead, he glanced around the room while also keeping his eyes away from his fellow students with towels wrapped around their waists.

In the far corner, Harry noticed a familiar robe hanging on the hook. It was the one Louis was wearing yesterday when they first met. Upon sight, Harry’s eyes immediately lit up with an idea.

“Hey, no cutting!” the boy in front of him accused when Harry stepped out of the queue.

“‘m not,” Harry simply replied as he walked further towards the hook. Underneath the robe was also Louis’ towel, so Harry opted to take both of them back to their dorm room with him. His shower could wait a few more minutes.

By the time he returned back to the showers with only his own towel, he walked right into Louis’ shining moment.

“Where’s my towel? And my dressing gown?” Louis shouted through the edge of his shower curtain. A few boys turned to look at him, uninterested.

“You should’ve brought them with you,” one shrugged who was fixing his over-gelled hair in the mirror.

“I did bring them with me! Which one of you assholes took them?”

“Hey, Louis, you can borrow this if you want.” Harry offered out a wash cloth, which Louis snatched out of his hand.

“It was you, wasn’t it? After the sprinklers last night, I know it was you,” he snarled, pointing at Harry with the hand that was holding the washcloth. The other was still using the shower curtain to cover from his waist down.

“You should really hurry up. There are people waiting for a turn,” Harry replied instead.

Louis held his glare for a moment, then stepped out slowly from behind the curtain, washcloth covering his crotch. This earned a chorus of laughter from the room, Harry included. Louis tried to rush past everyone, staying close to the wall is if it would block anyone from the sight of his bum. Just before he exited the room, he looked at Harry and announced, “You are an absolute twat, you know that?”

“I try,” Harry replied, still laughing with the others. He did feel a tinge of guilt, but at least his revenge got more of an audience.

Harry’s first class of the day was History, one that he was genuinely looking forward to since he took a look at his course schedule the night before. History was something he always had a fair interest in and he generally did well in the class. Not that him doing well in a class was a rarity, but this subject was especially easy. Besides, anyone can bullshit an essay as long as you have your core facts down.

Since Monday was uniform day, the halls were littered with teachers not only greeting the students, but also dress-coding anyone who was so much as wearing their tie too loose or had their sleeves rolled up. One would think for the amount of money most of the students’ parents fork out every year on tuition, they would try not to be so uncompromisingly strict.

The first face Harry noticed upon walking into class that morning belonged to Niall. He grinned happily when he met Harry’s eyes and tapped on the desk in front of him to offer the seat. Harry took it eagerly, glad to see that he would at least have one friend in a class this term. When he sat down, he realized Jonathan and Rob were sitting next the Niall as well, the four of them forming a square with the desks.

“Have any trouble finding your way around campus?” Niall asked when Harry sat down and began taking his textbook and pencils out of his bag.

“Not really. Liam gave me a map for all of the buildings.” Harry informed him.

Rob and Jonathan looked at each other for a moment before Jonathan decided to speak up. “We heard about what you did to Louis this morning.”

“Everyone’s been talking about it,” Rob added, “It was brilliant, really!”

“Sorry we couldn’t warn you about last night,” Niall leaned forward to say. “Louis always gets the new guys with that one. It’s getting quite old, honestly. You’re the first one to try to get him back though, so well done mate.” He patted Harry on the shoulder, but Harry wasn’t sure if he should appreciate the praise.

Sure, Harry wanted a bit of revenge for what Louis did to him, but he didn’t want the whole school to be talking about what he did to Louis. Would he ever be able to live that moment down? What if Harry ruined Louis’ reputation at Rockcrest for good? That wasn’t a guilt he wanted to live with. Even now it was starting to eat away at him.

“Is Louis upset?” Harry managed to ask, trying his best to sound light.

“Haven’t talked to him yet today, but don’t worry too much. That guy should be able to take just as much as he dishes out,” Niall reassured.

“But if not, you’re going to be stuck with him as roommate for the rest of the year so I’d figure out how to build a wall in that room pretty soon,” Jonathan made himself crack up, but immediately stopped when Rob’s large fist hit his shoulder.

“Ow!” he let out, scowling at Rob just as the teacher walked in and the last bell rang for class to begin.

After History was English, another class Harry had no problem with and even found that Liam was in it with him as well. Harry got there early since the room was in the same hall of the humanities building. The desks were arranged in pairs so he found an empty set that Liam was happy to complete when he arrived.

When lunchtime rolled around, Harry and Liam once again entered the dining hall together. Today’s menu was three different kinds of sandwiches matched with a choice of tomato or broccoli and cheddar soup. Harry picked up only a chicken salad sandwich and a glass of juice before heading over to the same table as yesterday, knowing for sure he was now welcome. Well, by most at least.

Niall and Louis were the only ones at the table so far when Harry and Liam sat down. Harry took the same seat as yesterday, unsure if seating arrangements remained the same every day. As he pulled his chair out, Niall greeted him happily and asked about the rest of his morning. Louis on the other hand, focused his eyes steady on bowl in front of him, taking tiny sip of the tomato soup off his spoon.

Harry knew this morning was the reason for Louis’ guarded behaviour. He wondered how long the barrier between them would remain and whether Louis would even bother speaking to him again. Maybe Louis would ask for a new roommate and have one of them move out. What a way to make an impression: have your roommate hate you before you even start classes. Harry was sure making a name for himself around here.

Before TJ even sat down, he was already speaking rapidly as he placed his tray on the table and removed his messenger bag. “Can you believe Mr Graves is already assigning an 800-word essay due by the end of the week? I knew taking his advanced English class was a mistake. ‘Gifted’ or not, no student deserves having that much worked assigned to them on the first day. This is how communism started.”

“Pretty sure that was Karl Marx, but how exactly is your getting assigned an essay related to communism?” Liam asked.

“Fascism, then! Either way, it’s unfair,” huffed TJ.

“Good thing you’re taking advanced English and not advanced History,” Harry muttered. TJ looked at him, a hint of an amused smile on his face.

“Hey, the new guy is funny!” he announced to the table.

“Course he’s funny! You heard about the stunt he pulled this morning, didn’t t’cha?” Niall laughed in Louis’ direction.

Louis dropped his spoon dramatically onto his tray and narrowed his eyes at Niall. Harry wondered if he was about to kick his shin under the table again.

“Ha-ha. Yeah, it was hilarious. Everyone knows. Can we talk about something else?”

Following Louis’ request, TJ continued on about his homework assignment, but Harry couldn’t help how red his cheeks were becoming. He didn’t mean to upset Louis as much as he clearly did. If only there was a proper way to apologize that Harry could think of. As much as Louis had it coming, he didn’t deserve to be embarrassed like that.

Harry didn’t say much for the rest of lunch, or the rest of the school day really. His last two classes were Trigonometry and Chemistry. The first he had no friends in, something he was slightly thankful for because it meant he would be more able to focus. Trig was a hard enough class in itself and Harry couldn’t afford anything less than top marks.

In Chemistry Harry sat at the front of class, away from the two familiar people he noticed upon walking in: Louis and Zayn. He wasn’t in the mood to face anyone anymore, but Louis was definitely at the top of that list.

Since it was only the first day of the term, it had been a day of introductions and curriculum overviews. They wouldn’t even be assigned lab partners until later that week. Harry wished lab partners didn’t have to be a part of Chemistry at all. He worked perfectly fine by himself and preferred to not have to rely on anyone else.

Harry was the first person to leave the room when the bell rang to signal the end of the day. If he was going to try to apologize to Louis, he had a stop to make before heading back to the dorms and he had to make sure Louis would still be there by the time he returned.

With the rather large plastic bag in hand, Harry entered the room slowly, looking around for his roommate while hiding the bag behind his back. A rank smell suddenly filled his nose and a cool breeze was drifting in through the window. Around the corner, Louis sat on his bed with a lit cigarette in one hand and the other flipping through the same comic form yesterday. _Spider-Man,_ Harry noted while taking a few steps closer.

Louis looked up from his book passively while bringing the cigarette to his lips once again. “Hey,” he mumbled over it.

“Hey,” Harry replied in a much lighter tone. This made Louis bring his eyes up once again and rest the comic back on his raised knees.

“Did you need something?” he asked.

“To apologize,” Harry said quickly, “For this morning. I was just trying to get you back for last night, but it was too far and I’m sorry.”

“Relax, mate,” Louis sighed, sitting back up as he extinguished the cigarette into the small ashtray sitting next to him. “Actually, I was kind of impressed. No one’s had the guts to get me back, so I respect that. When I pulled the same thing on Liam he told the headmaster on me. He didn’t give a shit, of course. Not even enough to give me a study hall. You can see why Liam made prefect this year.”

Louis leaned over his bedside table and dropped the ashtray into the drawer where Harry remembered he also kept his flask. He wondered what other stuff Louis had in there that wasn’t allowed on school grounds.

“So you aren’t mad at me?”

“I was this morning, but I’m over it. Sorry about the whole sprinkler thing too, by the way. Call it even?” Louis stuck his hand out and grinned when Harry shook it.

“Speaking of that, I got you something. Kind of a peace offering, I guess,” Harry pulled the bag out from behind his back and Louis leaned forward with his legs crossed to accept the gift, not wasting a second before pulling it out of the bag.

“A dressing gown?” Louis raised an eyebrow, “With the Rockcrest logo on it?”

“I had to go to the supplies shop in the main offices building to get you one, since we aren’t allowed to leave campus without permission and all. I got you a medium so I hope it’s not too big,” Harry spoke earnestly.

Louis dropped his arms from admiring it to shoot Harry a stern look. “Medium is just fine, thanks,” he said flatly.

“Oh, okay. Good then.”

“Really though, thank you. This is actually quite a bit softer than the one you stole from me this morning. I don’t know where you put it, but-”

“It’s in your wardrobe. I already folded it for you,” Harry was quick to inform him.

“Of course you did.”

Moving the bag to the side, Louis got up and stepped towards his wardrobe with the dressing gown in hand. Harry returned to his own side of the room to remove his school bag from his shoulder, but when he turned back around Louis was standing in only his boxers.

“Louis! What’re you-”

“Trying on my new dressing gown! What, you’ve never seen another boy’s legs before? I’m told I have great calves.”

Harry turned back around cautiously to avoid looking at Louis, as if that wasn’t the state Louis was in when they first met to begin with.

“And you have to be almost naked to do that?”

“Come on, mate, we’re sharing a room. We’re going to see each other get dressed at some point, it’s not a big deal,” Louis stressed, tying the cotton belt around his waist.

“I know that. I’m just respecting your privacy, is all.”

“I’ll consider it respected.”

For the rest of the evening, Harry and Louis generally kept to themselves. Harry worked on his homework and got a head start on a few of his courses all the way until dinner when Louis convinced him that he needed food for his brain to properly work.

When they returned, Louis figured he should at least try his Chemistry homework they had been assigned, which was only a basic review sheet about the periodic table and polyatomic ions. He got about halfway through before giving up, despite Harry’s insistence to help. Since it was only the first day, he decided he had a while to catch up on assignments.

The next two days of classes went by more like how Harry was expecting. He’d finally started getting into a daily routine. Wake up to shower and get dressed at 6:30, get to the dining hall for breakfast by 7:15, then begin classes at eight. When the school day was finished at three, he would return to his dorm to begin his homework, go back to the dining hall to eat around six, then come back to finish the work off and do a bit of reading before bed.

His teachers were giving him what he considered quite a fair work load. There were far more assignments than his last school, but not as much as he was expecting from the most prestigious school in Britain. History and English were as easy as ever. Chemistry was a challenge, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Trigonometry, however, is where the struggle began. He was jumping right into an advanced class from the standard one so he was having trouble getting ahead of the rest of the class. Not to mention his teacher was basically the Severus Snape of Rockcrest.

By Thursday, Louis was already tired of seeing Harry go through the same routine every day. There was no way he’d let Harry’s life at Rockcrest be as boring and mundane as someone like Liam, for example. So when arrived at their dorm that day at 3:20, knowing Harry would already be hunched over his desk, he had an idea.

“You’re trying out for the football team,” Louis declared as his dropped his bag and jacket on the floor below him, kicking them only slightly to his side of the room.

“Hello to you, too,” Harry said, not turning around and furiously writing equations in his notebook.

“I’m serious. Tryouts are today and Rob is picking the teams. He knows I’ll kick his arse if you go to the tryouts _he_ initially invited you to and you don’t make the team.”

“Oh good. A pity spot saved just for me.”

“Harry,” Louis whined, taking the rolling chair from his own desk, which had barely been used, and pulled it up beside Harry. “You have no life outside of school work. For your own sanity, you need to try out for the football time.”

“I don’t even really like to play football. I prefer just watching a game from the sidelines. I’d probably make a better cheerleader.”

“I’ll make a note to buy you pom-poms for Christmas, then.”

“Can you make sure they’re green to match my uniform?”

“Your Rockcrest uniform or the cheerleader uniform you have hidden away in the back of your wardrobe?”

“Both.”

“Consider it done. So are you coming to tryouts?” Louis turned Harry’s chair around to pull him away completely from the textbooks and papers spread out around him.

“I’d rather not.”

Louis pushed his chair away from the desk with a sigh, letting the wheels glide him to the other side of the room.

“Would you at least come watch tryouts? You need to get out of this room.”

Harry thought about it for a moment, glancing back down at the work in front of him. He had already finished everything he had to do all the way up to Monday so all he had to do on the weekend was review, and maybe start his book report that was due at the end of the month.

“Can I bring my history notes with me?” he tried to bargain.

“Only if you promise to look up from them every once in a while.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

As it turned out, football tryouts were just as boring as Harry expected. He sat at the very top of the bleachers with his feet propped up on the bench in front of him, turning his lap into a desk for his notepad and textbook. Every few minutes he’d think to look up, but that was usually when the coach blew the whistle and his attention was drawn back to the field.

Watching tryouts was a lot different than watching a game. All the players were doing was drills and he couldn’t even tell who was good. Except for one though, and that was Louis. He was much better than expected considering Niall’s claim that he was the worst on the team. He was no pro, but could’ve easily went up against Rob in a fair game.

An hour and a half later, Harry was reading the chapter for tomorrow when Louis climbed up the bleachers to sit with him. Harry hadn’t even noticed tryouts were finished until he looked up as Louis approached. He was sweaty along his hairline and had a small towel wrapped around his neck and a water bottle in one hand that he had already chugged most of.

“So did you make the team?” Harry asked, mocking enthusiasm.

“The list gets posted tomorrow, but I’m going to go with yes. Tryouts are just a formality. I’ve been on the team every year.”

“Well, congratulations then.”

“Rob wanted to know why you were sitting up here and not on the field.” Louis was still slightly out of breath as he spoke then downed the rest of his water.

“Did you tell him I was too invigorated with learning about the Second World War and Hitler’s rise to power?”

“What about it did you learn?”

“That Hitler was an asshole and people are too easily manipulated. Nothing new.”

“I’ll pass the message along.”

Louis leaned back on the metal rod of the structure behind him. The coldness of it felt great on his back that was also drenched in sweat underneath his jersey from last year.

“So,” Harry began to speak again, a bit more hesitantly this time, “I know that you’re here because of your dad, and Liam got here on a scholarship, but what about those other guys?”

“Are you asking me which ones of them are rich?”

“In more words, but yes.”

Louis sat back up, straightening his back to settle in for the explanation. “Well, TJ and Niall have parents that are loaded just like me. Jonathan is here on an academic scholarship, but his dad is a hugely successful lawyer so he could’ve probably afforded it anyway if it wasn’t for the waiting list. Rob is a scholarship kid as well, but for football, as you could tell if you bothered paying any attention today.”

“What about Zayn?”

“Oh- um, his mom is big in the music business- production side- so she got him in. He’s really into art and all that. Great at it, too. I mean, I think.” Louis’ voice got noticeably quieter and he lightly threw his empty water bottle in front of him. It bounced off the bottom bench and landed in the field. The coach noticed it right away from where he was consulting with Rob and shot Louis a disapproving glance.

“Sorry!” he shouted down to him.

“Are you and Zayn good friends at all? I don’t even think I’ve heard him talk yet and we sit at the same table every day.”

“I suppose. He’s a good smoking mate.”

Harry nodded and looked back down at his bag during the silence, unsure if Louis was ready to go yet.

“So Harry, what are your plans for this weekend?” Louis asked just before Harry was going to stand up.

“If I tell you you’re going to make fun of me.”

“Not necessarily. While I will continue to remind you that you have no social life, I do admire your work ethic.”

“Thanks… I think.”

“Do you think you could pry yourself away from your books on Saturday night for an outing with yours truly?”

“An outing to where? The parking lot?”

“No, London.”

Harry stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was serious or not.

“We aren’t allowed to leave campus-”

“-without permission, I know. I have it covered though, don’t worry. Do you trust me?”

“I’m not sure.” Harry leaned a bit away from him when he said it.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’ve been doing this for years. You aren’t going to get in trouble.”

“I suppose you aren’t going to let me hear the end of this if I say no, are you?”

“You are correct.”

“Fine, then, I’ll go,” Harry sighed. “But we better not get in trouble!”

“We won’t. Now let’s head back to the dorms.” Louis stood up and began jogging down the bleachers, Harry following him in much longer strides. “Dinner should be ready and I still need to take a shower. Please try to refrain from stealing my robe and towel this time.”

“I make no promises,” Harry called after him as his feet finally reached the ground and he attempted to keep up with Louis’ surprisingly brisk pace. With his athletic form, it was no wondering why he was the one on the football team and Harry was the one stumbling with his arms full of books.


	3. Chapter 3

At lunch on Friday Harry sat in the same spot in the back corner of his lunch table, picking at a plate of pasta salad and observing who he could now consider his friends. TJ had engaged the group in another riveting discussion about how Rockcrest was in the beginning stages of a totalitarian society. The complaint this time was over how he got dress-coded for wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt instead of the recommended jumper or polo on non-uniform days. He was wearing the shirt properly now, but claimed he had to go all of his biology class with it inside out.

Harry was quickly losing interest in the rant, mind drifting elsewhere and eyes falling to the other side of the room. When they hit Zayn, who was quickly approaching the last empty seat at the table, they regained focus. He had a small backpack hanging off his arm and next to the plate on the tray he was carrying was a black notebook and a pen rolling around next to it. In his rush, someone cut in front of him and when he abruptly stopped, his pen rolled on the floor along with his fork and a napkin.

Louis must have been looking in his direction as well because as soon as it happened, he was standing up and rushing to Zayn’s aid. Zayn was already struggling to bend over and pick them up, but Louis got there first. He gathered the dropped items and placed them back on the tray, the two exchanging awkward smiles. Zayn uttered a quiet “thanks” before Louis returned to his seat.

With a furrowed brow, Harry watched the interaction carefully. He hadn’t seen the two of them speak much to begin with. Not even in Chemistry did they sit together. Louis was always in the back corner talking to someone Harry had never met, and Zayn kept to himself a few seats ahead of him. Eventually, Harry remembered what Louis said about them not being great friends anymore. That didn’t exactly explain the strange behaviour, but he decided to brush it off.

“I’m just going to grab a new fork,” Zayn muttered to Jonathan, who was sitting across from where he placed his tray down. Louis looked like he wanted to say something, but abstained by the time he was already walking away, his eyes still following Zayn for a moment. Only when he returned did Louis let himself resubmerge in the conversation in front of him.

The first thing Harry noticed when he walked into Chemistry that afternoon was the names written on the whiteboard. In the same arrangement as the lab desks in the room were the names of each student. Finally they had been assigned their lab partners.

Harry’s eyes rapidly searched the board until they found his name right in the centre. The name next to it, clear as ever, was Zayn’s.

Not once had Harry and Zayn exchanged any words. Not even when they were the first two to arrive at breakfast on Wednesday morning. All that was offered was a tight lipped smile and a half-assed wave. Harry couldn’t tell if Zayn disliked him or if he was just too shy to speak to the new kid. Either way, he was going to make it his mission to, if not befriend Zayn, at least get along well enough to make this partnership bearable.

As Harry sat alone at his lab table, his knee was shaking up and down and the fingers on his right hand tapped hastily on his notebook. Students filed in slowly between the two warning bells. When Louis walked past to get to his seat next to someone whose name Harry couldn’t match to a face, he put out a hand to mess up the curls on Harry’s head with a mischievous smirk. Harry brushed them back into place before turning around to return the smile.

Soon, the only spot left was the one next to Harry. As the last bell sounded, Zayn appeared in the doorway in a rush. He stopped for a second to look around, realizing no one was sitting in the spots they had gotten used to since the first day.

“You’re next to Harry,” Mr Grainger told him from the teacher’s desk at the front where he was still gathering his notes to begin class.

Zayn nodded with an anxious fake smile before walking towards the desk. He nodded at Harry to acknowledge his presence, then dropped his bag onto the floor as he slid onto the stool.

“Hey, Zayn,” Harry whispered since Mr Grainger was now trying to get the attention of the class.

“Oh, hi,” Zayn turned to face him, but didn’t meet his eyes, “I didn’t think you would remember my name.”

“Of course I remember your name. We sit at the same table in the dining hall every day.”

“But we’ve never spoken before.”

“And now we have,” Harry grinned sincerely before giving his full attention to the front of the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he caught a glimpse of Zayn’s mouth curve up.

Even though it was the first day of being assigned lab partners, Mr Grainger decided they weren’t going to actually be doing a lab. Instead, he put together chapter review booklets for the partners to complete together. Harry could easily finish the booklet on his own in about twenty minutes, but this class was about bonding with Zayn, so he’d have to take his time.

“So the oxidizing agent gets reduced and gains electrons, and the reducing agent gets oxidized and loses electrons?” Zayn asked, twirling a short dull-tipped pencil between his fingers and staring intently at the worksheet in front of him.

“Yes, and oxidizing agents include halogens, potassium nitrate, and nitric acid. Reducing agents are the earth metals,” Harry confirmed.

“I’m not going to remember any of that,” Zayn laughed to himself humorlessly.

“You will, it’s not as difficult as it sounds. I can help you study if you want,” Harry offered.

Zayn turned his head to look in the other direction before he answered. Harry couldn’t follow where his eyes were going, but when he turned his head back around he was nodding. “Yeah, sure. Do you help Louis study much?”

“Not really. What makes you ask?”

“Well, you’re roommates and I know he gets shit marks in this class. He’s always talking about how smart you are, so I guess I just assumed,” he shrugged.

“He talks about me?” Harry said incredulously. “Wait, you talk to Louis?”

“Oh, uh, sometimes yeah. Not often.”

“Not often he talks about me, or not often you talk to him?”

“Both, I guess.”

“Huh.”

When the bell rang Zayn didn’t waste a second scrambling to gather his books and head out the door. His mumbled “see you tomorrow” was barely audible and he scurried to the other side of the room. Harry stuffed his own books into his bag much slower while Louis approached the side of the desk. Under his arm was nothing more than the booklet he was just given folded into a random page of his textbook and one pen clutched in his fist.

“I have football practice, but I’ll meet you in the dorm later to fill you in on what we’re doing tomorrow,” Louis told him as he leaned one hip on the desk.

“Will this adventure include criminal activity of any sort? Robbing a jewelry store? Selling drugs on the streets?”

“Nah, been there done that,” Louis sighed dramatically.

“Hiding a body?” Harry’s smirk and raised eyebrow did not match the question.

The classroom was emptying and Mr Grainger had already quietly disappeared into the back room. Louis began backing towards the door, realizing he couldn’t be late for his first practice. “Interesting suggestion. Maybe next weekend.”

“Just give me a warning beforehand so I can plan accordingly.”

“You got it!” he called, already crossing the threshold into the hallway.

 

This was Harry’s first weekend at Rockcrest and all he wanted to do was study. Studying kept him grounded and made him feel secure. Every day spent in the library or all-nighter pulled while hunched over his desk with only a small lamp lighting the room, he knew he was getting closer to his goals. Closer to going off to school, getting a good job, supporting his family.

But the truth was, he didn’t need to study. At least not as often and in-depth as he usually did. He already entered the school with the top grades in his year and that wasn’t going to change because no one else put in even half of the work he did. And because of those reasons, Louis was going to force him to go out tonight if it was the last thing he did.

At eleven o’clock on Saturday morning, Harry found himself standing next to Louis in front of TJ’s dorm room. Louis was swaying back and forth on his heels after eagerly knocking on the door while Harry remained still, grinding his teeth and feeling anxious about the whole situation.

“Just a minute!” TJ’s voice sounded from the other side of the door. They could hear a single set of footsteps stomping around and drawers closing. The place must’ve been a mess and he forgot to tidy up before they stopped by.

“Why do we need fake IDs anyway?” Harry grumbled with his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweats.

Louis’ eyes were still facing forward. “So we can order drinks at bars and clubs while being underage.”

“Is that where we’re going tonight? A club!?” Harry turned his head to exclaim.

“You’ll see,” Louis side-eyed with a smirk.

When TJ opened the door he was still wearing plaid pyjama pants with a grey t-shirt accidentally tucked into the waistband on one side. His hair was dishevelled and he was wearing glasses that he didn’t normally wear.

“Did we wake you?” Louis snorted.

“No, I just, uh, forgot,” he told them, letting the door swing open wider so they could enter.

The room was dim from the red curtains closed over the window. A mess remained in the space with shirts and jeans scattered around the floor along with books and note pages. TJ kept an old milk crate of vinyl records on a bookshelf next to a large collection of novels and had two guitars, one acoustic and one electric, leaning against an amp.

“Zayn’s not around?” Louis asked nonchalantly, moving across the room to sit on one of the unmade beds.

“Nah, he’s been out since breakfast. Not really sure where he goes most of the time, to be honest.” TJ fell back into his desk chair and spun it back and forth slowly.

“Zayn’s your roommate? I didn’t know that,” Harry said. He was trying to act casual as he stood in the middle of the room, unsure what to do with himself.

“Take a seat, man,” TJ urged, “You can sit on my bed. I promise it’s not gross, I’ve just never made it before.” He gestured to the one Louis wasn’t already sitting on.

“Oh, okay,” Harry told him, still feeling oddly shy.

“So what do you need? Driver’s license? Passport?” TJ suggested, “Although I don’t recommend actually trying to travel with the passport. Airport security can tell what’s fake much easier than a bouncer can.”

“This sounds very illegal,” Harry commented nervously.

“Don’t listen to him. A driver’s licence should work fine,” Louis told TJ confidently.

“Alright then,” TJ turned around in his chair and scooped up the camera that was sitting on top of the mess on his desk, “I’m going to need you to stand over there against that blank wall so we can get your ID photo.”

Harry did as told with the same hesitance that he carried with him since Louis told him that morning that he was going to have to get a fake ID of all things.

“Don’t smile. Just a straight face and look directly into the camera,” TJ instructed, “Perfect! Now one more for good measure.” The camera clicked a second time and TJ checked the preview on the screen.

“Is that all you need?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Just a few specifics I’ll need to jot down,” TJ was ruffling through the desk once more to find a pen and his notebook. Harry glanced back at Louis who was texting on his phone and seemed to be uninterested in the whole process. “Okay, hair and eye colour?”

“Brown and green.”

“Height and weight?”

“About five-foot-ten, but I don’t really know how much I weigh.”

“Do you know how much that is in centimetres?”

“I-”

“Nevermind, I can look it up. And I’ll take a guess on the weight. You’re probably about the same as Louis anyway.”

Louis glanced up from his phone for the first time since TJ started making the ID. Harry tried to send him a nervous look, but his attention left as quick as it appeared.

“When’s your birthday? I find it’s easier to keep the date and change the year in case the bouncer throws the astrology question at you.”

“The first of February.”

“Aquarius, alright.” TJ finished scribbling in his notebook then dropped them both on top of his laptop where he would presumably make the ID. “That’s it then. Come back in a couple hours and I should have it done for you.”

“Thanks, man.” Louis stood up from the bed and handed over a hundred pound note before nodding Harry towards the door. When they reached the hallway, Harry widened his eyes at him.

“That cost a hundred pounds?!” he exclaimed.

“TJ’s parents don’t give him any money, they just pay for his necessities. That’s why he does this on the side. Plus, he knows which of us are loaded so he jacks up the price. It’s fine, it’s not like I’ll be hurting for cash.”

Harry scratched his head, still in minor disbelief as he walked a few steps behind Louis. What the hell was he getting himself into?

 

In an attempt to get some last minute studying in before Louis was going to drag him away from his desk, Harry was scribbling down vocabulary definitions for a quiz on Monday. He was already dressed in the dark jeans and t-shirt that Louis instructed him to wear for the evening and made sure to tuck his new fake ID into the window pocket of his wallet. Harry had to admit, however TJ made it, it sure produced authentic looking results.

At exactly 8:45 Louis barged into their dorm room to grab his denim jacket that was swung over the back of his desk chair.

“Ready to go?” he asked Harry.

“Just let me get one more definition down.”

“We barely have time as it is. The sprinklers come on at nine so we have to be out front before then,” Louis urged.

“Alright, alright.” Harry dotted the end of his sentence before slamming the textbook shut and replacing his pen in its rightful spot in the cup on his desk.

Louis was standing at the door, hand already clutching the handle, ready to open it. Harry picked up his jacket from his bed and folded it over one arm.

“So is there any method to sneaking off campus or…?” Harry trailed off as he approached Louis, who opened the door to usher him out.

“As long as we leave the building without raising suspicion, we’ll be fine. Curfew is at eleven on weekends so we’re technically not breaking the rules until we leave the school grounds.” Louis closed the door behind them and walked beside Harry. The hallway was cleared meaning most of the guys were probably down in the common room if not in their own rooms.

“How are we going to get back? Won’t the guards catch us? Or the security cameras?”

“No one checks the security cameras unless they have a reason to. As for the guards, they only patrol the front gate after midnight. We won’t be back before then.”

“Are we not going through the front gate?”

Louis turned to look at Harry with a wordless smirk just as the door to the lift opened. Harry rolled his eyes as soon as Louis looked away to step on.

Following Louis’ stride, the pair crossed the grounds towards the football field and continued further on towards the eight foot tall hedge that encased the property. Harry’s confusion grew the closer they got. There was nothing else to walk towards except the hedge ahead of them. When they stood right in front of it, Louis pushed away a bushy branch that revealed a small opening to the other side, just tall enough that Louis could walk through, but Harry had to duck his head.

“How exactly are we getting to this mystery destination anyway?” Harry asked as he stepped through the metre-thick hedge, trying to avoid getting twigs caught in his hair.

“We’re taking my car,” Louis said simply.

“They let students keep cars on campus?”

“Nope.”

Where they emerged on the other side was no more than a path on the side of the road. Parked right in front of them was a black town car, the same one that picked Harry up from the train station, with Patrick standing right in front of the passenger door.

“Good evening, boys,” Patrick smiled.

“Hey Patrick!” Louis walked right up to him for a handshake that turned into a one-armed hug. “How was your summer, mate? The wife and kids alright?”

“They’re very good, thank you. My summer was wonderful, as I’m sure yours was as well. How was Thailand?”

“Beautiful, as usual. Shall we head out?” Louis looked between Patrick and Harry.

“Yes, of course,” Patrick opened the car door for them, Harry sliding in after Louis, before walking around to get in the driver’s seat.

“Is Patrick chauffeuring us around all night?” Harry whispered so Patrick couldn’t hear.

“No, I told you I have a car.”

Louis wouldn’t seem to budge with the information, so Harry figured it was best to just give up for now. Instead, he looked out at the passing trees in the rural area as Patrick drove.

Harry wasn’t sure what to make of the night so far. When he agreed to hang out with Louis, he didn’t know of the elaborate plan that would go along with it. But Louis assured him they wouldn’t get in trouble and even though he only knew the guy for less than a week, something in his gut told Harry he could trust him.

The drive didn’t last too long before they were pulling into the illuminated driveway of one of the biggest houses Harry had seen, even though most of it was blocked by the forestry surrounding it. He didn’t even get a full view of the federal-style house before they were stopping at a garage halfway down the twisting driveway.

“Thank you, Patrick. I appreciate it, as always,” Louis said as he and Harry unclicked their seatbelts. Before they got out, Harry watched Louis slip Patrick another hundred pound note through the small partition window, just as casually as he handed the one to TJ. As Louis waved Patrick away, Harry stepped closer to him.

“I sincerely hope that some part of this night comes with a very long explanation. Starting with whose driveway we’re standing in.” Harry folded his arms in front of him.

“Oh, it’s mine,” stated Louis brightly, “Well, my parents’. It’s the house they like to stay in when they visit London. I’d hardly call it a home though. It’s full of about eight guest bedrooms and nothing that would give you any sign of a family living there. Not even a photo of us as kids. It’s more like a hotel really.”

“So why are we here?”

Louis walked up to the side of the garage door where he typed in the code to open it. Harry didn’t follow him.

“This is where I store my car. Almost every weekend last year I paid Patrick to drive me out to this house, usually with a friend, so I could pick up my car and head out for the night.”

The garage door opened revealing four cars in a row, all with black dust covers. Louis walked over to the one on the far left and pulled off the cover, revealing a shiny red 1964 Triumph Spitfire. The sight of the convertible immediately caught Harry’s attention. It looked to be straight out of music video for some alternative rock band.

“Anyway,” Louis continued, “I figured I’d continue the tradition into this year as well. Come on, hop in.” He picked a pair of keys off the hook on the back wall and got into the driver’s seat. Harry opened the passenger door slowly, worried he might damage the car by only touching it.

“And you’ve never been caught for any of this?”

“Not at all. Even if I did, Rockcrest wouldn’t dare risk losing a student whose father pays for at least a quarter of the school.” Louis started the car and revved the engine a bit, more to show off than anything. He then slowly pulled out of the garage and pressed a button on the remote clipped to his visor to close it in front of him.

“What about Patrick? What if the headmaster finds out he’s been helping you?”

“First of all, that’s not going to happen. And second, I pay him almost a full day’s salary for the half hour of driving he does for me. He knows the risk, but he also needs the money. We’re helping each other out.”

They were pulling back onto the highway now and Harry was trying to get a look at what he could see of the interior. The speedometer was above the radio and temperature controls instead of behind the steering wheel and all of the knobs and buttons definitely showed the age of the car.

“Is he going to pick us up from here later in the night as well?” Harry asked.

“No, we’ll take a cab back. It’s easier to guide them to drop us off a block from the school than to pick us up in front of an opening in a hedge.”

“You really have all of this figured out. Imagine your marks if you put this kind of thought and effort into your course work,” Harry mused.

“We can only imagine because we’ll never see it happen,” Louis remarked.

The dark two-lane highway was completely dead, so Louis picked up the speed a little bit so they could get to their destination faster. They were driving with a pop radio station on to cover the only sound that was the hum of the engine, but it was still quiet enough to talk over.

“So, Harry, you’ve told me very little about your personal life,” Louis said, glancing at him briefly before gluing his eyes back on the road.

“I think I told you about my mum and sister already.”

“No, I mean your _personal_ life. Like do you have a girlfriend back home? Have you even had a girlfriend?”

“Not since I was about nine years old, probably,” Harry laughed awkwardly.

“Have you dated at all? I mean I know you’re only seventeen but-”

“I did a bit, yeah. One person last year. Wouldn’t exactly call that a relationship.”

“What happened with her?”

“Him, actually,” corrected Harry. “He wanted to keep our- whatever it was- a secret and I wasn’t really up for that. I’m pretty comfortable with who I am and I didn’t want to start hiding that part of me again.”

“So are you into both guys and girls?” Louis asked blatantly to clarify.

“No, I’m pretty sure I’m gay.” The same awkward laugh came out again.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure so we know who to scope out tonight.”

Harry turned his head sharply to shoot Louis a confused look. He was told they were just going to hang out, that was all. Not to “scope” anyone out.

“What are you talking about?” Harry raised an eyebrow, looking directly into Louis’ eyes that were still on the road.

“I’ve seen your work habits. I know you have no social life.”

“Thanks for that constant reminder, by the way.”

“We need to get you laid.”

“What?!” Harry burst, “I don’t need to do that! Really, I’m fine with just-”

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” Louis tried to speak over his protests.

“I thought we were just going to hang out and go to a bar or-”

“I mean, not that it’s a bad thing if you were. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want-”

“No, that’s not the issue. I just really wasn’t planning on going out to meet people like that.”

“I’m not telling you to go home with someone. Just collect a few phone numbers, that’s all. I’ll be a great wingman,” assured Louis.

Shaking his head a few times, Harry wasn’t sure what he should say. He wasn’t totally against meeting people, he just didn’t know that’s what Louis had in mind for the evening. But who knows? Maybe he could meet the love of his life tonight. Highly unlikely, but still possible.

“Alright, I’ll get a few phone numbers, but that’s it!”

“That’s what I like to hear!” Louis cheered.

As they drove further into London, Louis tried to push for answers about the one guy Harry claimed to have dated to try and figure out his type. Really, there wasn’t much to tell. It only lasted about four months and no one outside the two of them knew what was going on between them. Sure it would’ve been nice to call it something more, but Harry had to respect his wishes and eventually broke it off to save himself the heartache later on. Besides, his marks were slipping a bit those few months anyway.

In the heart of the city Louis eventually found a parking spot in the crowded streets and decided they’d take the rest of the journey on foot. The bar he had in mind was one Harry had never heard of, but that wasn’t saying much considering he wasn’t at all familiar with the area, never mind not being eighteen yet.

When they walked in the door, Louis stepped through confidently with his hands in each pocket. He looked around briefly for a spot to sit, then headed straight for a pair of empty barstools in the centre of the room. Harry was walking close enough behind that he could’ve stepped on Louis’ heels if he wasn’t careful. He was glancing around at the type of people that were hanging out there, but tried his best not to make any eye contact. Most people seemed to be around their age anyway and there were quite a few more guys than girls.

“Why are we sitting at the bar? There’s an empty booth right over there,” Harry pointed out as they took a seat on the barstools.

“When you’re looking to meet people, the last place you want to sit is a booth. That says that you’re only there to talk to who you came with and no one else. Especially when we’re only a group of two,” instructed Louis as he waved over the bartender. “I mean, you don’t want guys to think that you’re already on a date.”

“Right.”

Harry breathed in sharply when the bartender approached them, realizing this was the moment of truth to put his fake ID to the test. He stuck his hand in this pocket so he’d have his wallet ready to go.

“Two Jack and Cokes. Make it double, if you would,” Louis requested.

“Can I see some ID?” the barkeep asked in a friendly enough voice.

Far too quickly, Harry whipped the ID out of his wallet and showed it to the bartender. Almost all of his focus when to looking casual and keeping his hand steady as he held it in front of him. Louis shot him a look as he pulled his wallet out as well, not even bothering to take it out of the window slot to show him.

“Alright, coming right up,” the bartender nodded.

“Thanks,” Louis said, then looked back to Harry. “You need to relax, man,” he laughed.

“Sorry, I just forgot that was part of this whole thing.”

“Don’t worry, he probably wouldn’t have cared anyway. They’re obligated to ask.”

“I guess so.”

Harry could feel his hands getting clammy and tried to wipe off the sweat onto his jeans. But soon enough there was a drink in front of him and he heard that alcohol works great for calming the nerves. He watched as Louis moved the straw away with his index finger and drank right from the rim of the glass. Figuring that was a good method, Harry did the same.

As soon as the liquid reached the back of his throat, Harry almost gagged.

“You all right?” Louis asked, taking the drink out of his hand so he wouldn’t spill it.

“That’s strong!” Harry choked.

“Wait, have you ever had a drink before?” Louis said so quietly it was more like he mouthed the words.

Harry shook his head. “Maybe a sip of champagne on New Year’s, but that’s all.”

“Seriously?!”

Harry nodded weakly.

“Alright then, we’ll start you off slower. I’ll drink that and we’ll order you a vodka slime. It just tastes like Sprite, trust me.” Louis waved the bartender over once more.

“Hey, Louis, how much do you think I’d have to drink to get drunk?”

“Since you’ve barely ever consumed alcohol in your life, I’d say about three or four drinks, but I’ll stop you at two. Let’s save your first blackout experience for another weekend.”

“If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d say you were trying to corrupt me,” Harry said when he got his new drink. He took a much smaller sip through the straw this time. Louis was right, all he could taste was the Sprite.

“I think you would be correct about that. And I’m pretty sure it’s working.”

Louis raised his glass to Harry’s so they could toast to nothing in particular.

It didn’t take long at all for Harry to finish his first drink. Even when Louis suggested he should pace himself, Harry still had it done within ten minutes and was starting to feel a slight buzz. Louis on the other hand, who was almost finished with his own Jack and Coke, felt basically nothing. He was a veteran drinker himself and had quite a few nights he couldn’t remember under his belt at this point.

Louis held off on ordering Harry a second drink, somewhat in hopes that he might get it bought for him. Now was the time to scan the bar. He looked around at the tables first, most of which were filled with large groups of uni students. Those were the hard ones to go for because you’d have to socialize with the whole group to get to who you actually wanted to talk to. Louis decided to go back to his first rule and stick to around the bar only.

The first pair he decided they’d go talk to were two younger looking guys, probably in their late university years and doing the exact same thing they were. Second was a guy sitting at the edge of a row of three girls. There’s no reason for a guy to go out with three girls as the only guy if he was interested in hooking up with one of them. He was definitely a go-to.

“How are you feeling?” Louis asked Harry, who was using his tongue to grab at the straw of his empty glass that was sitting on the bar.

“Great, actually! I’d really like another one of these, they’re delicious.” Harry picked the glass up so he could get an ice cube into his mouth to chew on.

“Maybe that guy over there would want to buy you another one,” Louis nodded at the blonde boy from the pair.

“Hmm, not really my type,” shrugged Harry.

“Oh, okay. Well what about him?” His nod this time was aimed at the boy from the group of girls.

“He’s not bad looking, I suppose.”

“Great! I’ll go talk to the girls to drag their attention away then you introduce yourself to him.”

“Wait, what do I say?” Harry’s nervous expression from earlier that night was coming back. He really wanted that second drink right now.

“Start with a compliment maybe. Or a joke. You can be quite witty when you want to be. You’ll think of something when you get up there, trust me.”

“You know, the amount of times you tell me to trust you does not increase my amount of trust I have in you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now get on with it.”

Louis drew Harry by his forearm off the stool so he would follow around to the other side of the bar. He reached the girls first and nodded for Harry to walk around to the boy on the other end of the row. Throwing on his most charming smile, Louis opened with the line that would bring the most attention from themselves to him

“Could I buy you girls a drink?”

From then, the night seemed to drag on for Louis. Harry was sat comfortably next to the boy, chatting away for over an hour now. Louis really wasn’t expecting Harry to hit it off with the first person he talked to, but hey, it made his job easier. The job he appointed himself to without much input from Harry to begin with.

The conversation with the girls didn’t last much longer than it took for them to finish the vodka slimes he ordered each of them. Louis knew he wouldn’t be interested in them from the start and their interest in him seemed to lie about as deep as his wallet.

When Harry finally did reappear from his chat, Louis was trying to sober up from his own drink, and the half of Harry’s Jack and Coke that he sipped on since Harry didn’t like it. He still wanted to wait another hour or so before he drove them back, just to be safe.

“So did you get his number?” Louis asked as Harry returned to his seat.

“That I did. And a free drink, just like you said.”

“See, now do you have trust in me?”

“Maybe about this much more.” Harry held up his index finger and thumb with about two millimetres of length between them.

Behind him, Louis heard someone clear their throat and turned around to address it.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help but notice your drink was running empty.” Louis recognized this guy from the first pair at the other end of the bar, one of which he wanted to set Harry up with. “Could I buy you another one?”

“Ah, well, normally I’d say yes, but I’m actually taken. Thanks, though,” Louis smiled kindly, then turned back around.

“Alright, no hard feelings,” he nodded before turning back towards his friend.

Harry looked briefly between Louis and the guy who was trying to hit on him. “Does that happen to you a lot?” he asked.

“A bit, I guess. Hey, are you ready to go?” Louis said, dodging the question.

“Uh, sure, if you are.”

When they reached the outside of the bar the night air was brisk in the fall weather, making them both wish they thought to bring warmer jackets. The streets were mostly filled with young people at this time, walking between bars and clubs or trying to get home. Harry realized now that this was what he came here to enjoy: the city of London in all its glory. He had to admit though, he was still feeling a little dazed from the alcohol.

“So how come you wanted me to get numbers, but you didn’t get any yourself?” Harry asked to break the silence as they walked.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I was taken.”

“You are? How come you never told me that?”

“Never came up, I guess,” he shrugged.

More silence followed and Harry felt a small grumbling in his stomach. Up ahead he noticed a sign for a late night diner, giving him an idea.

“Hungry?” he pointed to the sign.

“Starving, actually!” Louis exclaimed. “How about you tell me about the guy from the bar over some late night breakfast, hmm?”


	4. Chapter 4

After dinner on Monday night, Harry found himself in the library, as per usual. He was sat at one of the tables down the middle row between the bookcases with Niall across from him. The two were going over their quiz from History that morning to see why they got each answer wrong. Well, Harry was explaining to Niall the answers that he got wrong. Harry got full marks on his quiz.

“You know what would be a lot more interesting than this?” Niall blurted once Harry finished with another explanation. “Anything, really. But more specifically, you telling me where the hell you and Louis disappeared to Saturday night.”

“Hey, keep it down. No one is supposed to know we left school,” Harry said in a hushed tone.

“Mate, everyone knows Louis sneaks out on the weekends. No one cares enough to blab. He used to take a different person with him every weekend last year. Once he and I snuck into a closed golf course with a 6-pack and shot a few on the driving range over a couple of drinks.”

“Did you really?”

“I’m telling you, there’s never a night out with that guy that doesn’t turn into a great story. Just ask Zayn, he’s probably been out with the guy more than the rest of us combined.”

“Zayn? So they are friends?” Harry pushed his books forward a bit, now more enthralled in the conversation than what they were studying.

“I mean, yeah. They always hang out at the smoke pit behind the science building, but I don’t see them together much besides that,” shrugged Niall. He was twisting his pencil mindlessly between his fingers. “So, tell me about your weekend!”

“It was fun I guess, but not too exciting. We just went out to a bar. Louis tried to get me to hook up with someone, then we got some food. That was about it.”

“Did you at least meet anyone?”

Harry looked down at his notes and smiled slightly at the question. He did in fact meet somebody, and he had been texting that somebody almost non-stop since yesterday.

“Um, yeah. This guy named Sean. He’s a business student who lives in London. Louis actually pointed him out to me, which was great because we really hit it off.”

“That’s great, man! See, I told ya, never a dull moment with that guy.”

As he got to know Niall more, Harry found the odd way he seemed to almost worship Louis to be quite amusing. He was that way with a lot of people, the more Harry thought about it. Niall never had a negative thing to say about anyone they discussed. His comments were always somewhere between a simple compliment to the highest praise and never any less. That kind of constant positivity is something Harry wished he could carry around.

Half an hour before curfew was when Harry and Niall decided to shut down their study session for the night. It was the first time that Harry had someone accompany him to the library, and he had to admit it did make the work much more enjoyable. Not that he didn’t enjoy the work to begin with, but it was nice having a friend around.

The whole walk back to Lister Hall Niall talked Harry’s ear off right until they reached Niall’s floor of the building, only one floor below his. When they parted ways, Harry felt relieved for the few moments of silence he’d receive before getting back to his room. He figured Louis should be home by now as well. Louis didn’t stay out past curfew on school nights, more because the sprinklers did a good job of keeping students inside than anything.

When the lift stopped on his floor, Harry turned the corner towards his room and walked leisurely towards it, until he saw the handle turn and open.

“Hey,” Harry greeted Zayn, who looked mildly surprised by who he had run into as he emerged from the room and closed the door behind him.

“Oh, hey. I was just dropping off some Chem notes for Louis,” Zayn explained without being asked.

“Chem notes? He should know he could’ve gotten them from me. Save you the trip.”

“I don’t mind. He usually borrows my notes anyway. Probably didn’t think of it at the time. Anyway, I gotta head back to my room. See ya at breakfast, Harry.” Zayn partially waved before retreating back down the hall.

“Yeah, see you,” Harry called after him as he reached for the handle to his room with the key in hand.

Stepping directly towards his desk, Harry let all of the books he was carrying fall into a pile on top of it. He pulled his bag off his shoulder and reached up to hang it on the corner of his cupboard and took off his jacket and shoes. Just before he was going to get changed for bed he turned around to greet Louis.

“Do you own any shirts?” Harry asked, acknowledging the fact that Louis was lounging shirtless on his unmade bed wearing only plaid pajama pants, reading a different Spider-Man comic than Harry had seen him with last time.

“All you sleep in is your pants. If anyone should be offended by their roommate’s lack of clothing, it should be me.”

Louis closed the comic and tossed it into his mystery drawer where he seemed to keep everything he felt to be personal. Harry hadn’t dared take a peek at the contents for himself. The idea alone still scared him.

“Were you like that when Zayn was in here too?”

“Zayn was just dropping off a new comic. He doesn’t care,” Louis claimed.

“He said he was dropping off Chem notes, not a comic.”

“Oh, he brought those too. I would’ve asked you, but you were in the library and I know you wouldn’t dare leave your studies to bring me notes.”

“You would be correct about that.”

Harry began throwing his dirty clothes into a laundry basket at the end of his bed in an attempt to tidy up the space. Now that a week had past there was a defining line of paper, rubbish, and heaps of clothes that separated their halves of the room. It wasn’t on purpose, at least in Louis’ case. Harry just preferred to have his space a bit cleaner, was all.

As he fell back onto his own bed, Harry turned on the lamp above him and opened up the book he just grabbed from his desk. Louis sat up and watched him for a moment, looking confused.

“Do you ever give your brain a break?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Harry glanced over his book.

“You listen to lectures in class all day, you study and do homework all evening, and then you come back to your room and read at night. When does your brain rest?”

“When I sleep.”

Louis was dissatisfied with this answer, so he stood up and marched towards his desk to grab his laptop, then walked back to join Harry in sitting on his bed.

“What was the last film you watched?”

“I don’t remem-” Louis cut Harry off by grabbing the book out of his hand and letting it fall gently to the floor. He then opened up his laptop and searched for the file containing all of his movies, scrolling until he reached the ‘F’ section.

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Have you seen it?” Louis asked.

“I have not.”

“Of course you haven’t,” Louis shook his head disapprovingly. “This is one of the biggest classics to come out of its decade. It’s about an American teenager who decides one day to just fake sick and take a day off from school. And a bloody great day, at that. Him and his friends steal a Ferrari, take a ride around Chicago, and end up in a- well, you’ll see.”

“Okay, so what about it?”

“Let’s watch it.”

“Now?!”

“Why not? It’s only nine. Come on, Harry you can sacrifice your eight hours one night.”

With that, Louis was already pressing play and refusing any more protests from Harry.

As the movie played, Harry seemed to be enjoying it just as much as Louis had hoped and he laughed in all the right places. He even made a few comments here and there, something Louis didn’t mind as he was one to talk through movies as well. At that point, if he didn’t like it, Louis might have to seriously reconsider their friendship.

Right around the part where Ferris sings on top of a parade float, about an hour through it, is when Louis’ eyes got heavy and he began to doze off. Harry must’ve as well because when Louis woke up again the room was pitch black except for the colourful swirls of the screensaver on his open laptop.

The first thing Louis did when he regained consciousness was check the time on his phone. It was almost two in the morning and he just spent the last four hours sleeping at a 90 degree angle. Harry had fallen sideways onto his pillow at one point so he was in a much more comfortable position. Moving his laptop back onto his desk, Louis tried to pull the blankets out from under Harry so he could tuck them over him instead. Harry stirred slightly at the movement, but it was enough to get the blankets loose.

Still feeling as drowsy as he did when he first fell asleep, Louis curled up in his own bed and slipped into asleep almost instantly, dreaming about the great big city adventure like the one in the movie that he was still yet to have.

 

“Just a reminder, as you’re finishing your write-ups, that regardless of the multiple stages or steps of a reaction, the total enthalpy change for the reaction is the sum of all changes,” Mr Grainger announced as he lazily walked between the desks, hitting two whiteboard markers together like drumsticks as he glanced at his students’ papers. Harry was just finishing his last equation while Zayn frantically tried to keep up with copying the notes onto his own paper.

After circling his last answer and double checking that he did his calculations correct, Harry took a look around the class to check the progress of the other students. Unsurprisingly, he and Zayn were the first ones to have finished with the assignment. When Mr Grainger walked past to pick up their papers, he told them they could have free time until the end of class to work on any homework they might need to get done.

As Harry reached down to his bag to pull out his maths textbook, Zayn flipped over a blank piece of paper to doodle on and propped his chin up on his left hand.

“So are you going to the match on Friday?” Zayn asked, ignoring the fact that Harry was preoccupied.

“I haven’t heard anything about a match,” said Harry without taking his eyes off his paper.

“It’s the first football match of the season. Rockcrest is playing against Vernon Academy. They’re one of the rival schools so it should be a great game.”

“Funny,” Harry looked up to say, “I wouldn’t have pegged you to be a football fan.”

“Just the school team, I suppose. The events can be fun so I was curious if you wanted to go.”

“With anyone else as well or just us? Not that I wouldn’t go otherwise, only wondering.”

“I think Liam and Jonathan are going too.”

“Alright, yeah, I’ll go. TJ won’t be participating in this outing I take it?”

“You know him. He thinks organized sports were created by the government for capitalist gain,” Zayn laughed.

“That guy would make Karl Marx proud I’m sure.”

 

On the morning of the big match, Louis and Harry walked together to the dining hall for breakfast, both actually having woken up at the same time for once. More often than not, Louis was still in the shower with only ten minutes until his first class of the day. He stored a box of energy bars under his bed for that exact reason.

Today, however, had to be different in terms of his routine. Or so he was told by Rob, the captain of the team. At six o’clock Louis was woken up by three texts, all instructions from Rob on what to eat for breakfast to make sure he got enough protein, and a recommendation to take an early morning jog. Louis took note on the eggs and yoghurt, but disregarded everything else.

“Did you check your mark on the Chemistry test from yesterday?” Harry asked as they crossed the grounds, following the rounding paths.

“I did,” Louis nodded.

“And?”

“Well, it’s not great if that’s what you want to know.”

“If you want I could tutor you, you know. For work back home, I used to tutor year eight kids in science,” Harry offered casually, kicking a small pebble across the pavement as he walked.

“I do hope I at least know a bit more about Chemistry than a thirteen year old.”

“Are you passing?”

“Yeah, but just barely. Maybe I should take you up on that offer sometime. At the very least, we could study together before tests,” Louis said a bit more enthusiastically.

“Whatever you want to call it, sure.”

Louis glanced over at him to see if the comment was meant to be snide, but the smile on his face was sincere enough that it told Louis this was not the case.

“Thanks,” he said, in response to the smile more than anything.

“We could go to the library this weekend if you want to. Get a head start for that exam at the end of next week,” suggested Harry.

They were walking through the entrance of the dining hall now. Louis held the door open for Harry, who muttered a thanks under his breath at the end of his sentence.

“Oh, I’m not sure this weekend will work. I mean, if we win I’ll be recovering from a wicked hangover from some sort of celebration I assume will be thrown. Then I’m going out Saturday night.”

These only sounded like excuses to Harry, but he let it slide. He knew well enough by now that school work wasn’t in Louis’ top priorities.

“How about Sunday then?”

“I won’t be back until late morning Sunday, then I have practice.” Louis took a plate off of the top stack in the noisy cafeteria and began scanning the buffet tables for what he was going to fill it with.

“You’re going to be gone all night? Where on Earth are you going?” Harry asked. He picked up two pieces of toast with the tongs before handing them to Louis so he could do the same.

“I have a meeting,” said Louis simply

“What kind of meeting lasts all- oh.” Harry stopped himself, remembering Louis’ mention of him not being single. Louis gave him an amused look.

“What exactly are you thinking of there, Harry?”

Just as he spoke a much taller boy appeared behind the pair, poking his head between them to look down at Louis’ plate.

“Good, lots of carbohydrates I see. Make sure to get at least three eggs as well. You’re going to need the protein,” Rob said, patting Louis on the shoulders.

“You got it, mate!” Louis grinned at the boy as he walked out of sight, then proceeded to load his plate with strips of bacon and a sugary chocolate chip muffin.

“Make sure you sit between Rob and me at the table. He can’t see this,” Louis said to Harry while taking a bite of the bacon and completely avoiding the eggs.

 

Because of the match, all of the students were let out early of their last class to go and watch. Practically the whole school walked to the field in a swarm, filling up the remaining bleachers where the few students from Vernon Academy weren’t sitting. Harry and Zayn were tailing the heard, meaning they had to search a lot harder for Liam and Jonathan once they reached the stands. Inconveniently, they were sat right in the middle of the crowd, but stuffed jackets in between them to save extra seats.

Liam spotted the two of them first and stood up to wave them down. Maneuvering through the other seated attendees, they eventually made it and sat so Harry and Liam were in the middle and Zayn was to Harry’s right. It was a tight squeeze for all four to fit, but they made it work.

When the team first jogged onto the field, the audience erupted in applause for their friends and fellow classmates. Even Zayn rose to his feet and let out a few cheers between clapping.

“He really gets into it, doesn’t he?” Harry shouted to Liam over the cheering and motioned towards Zayn.

“Yeah, he loves it. Don’t think he’s ever touched a football in his life, but he sure likes to watch the games,” Liam replied, before cupping his hands around his mouth to join in the hollering.

Harry wished he could say the same, but his interest in sports had shrunk a little more every season as the years passed. Nonetheless Niall, Rob, and Louis were out there, so he was here to support both his friends, and his new school.

The game started and Harry found it hard to differentiate between the players from how far away they were. The only reason he could figure out which one was Rob was because he was easily the tallest person on the field.

“Which one is Louis?” Harry tried to ask Zayn now that everyone was sitting down and more settled.

“Number twenty-eight,” Zayn said, still staring intently at the field.

Harry tried to search for the number by looking at each player’s jersey, but didn’t find the number twenty-eight on any of them. Suddenly the crowd got loud again and Zayn stood up once more shouting, “Come on, Louis!”

When Harry looked back at the action on field, Louis had the ball and was outrunning most of the opposing players as he neared the net. The strength he put into his kick caused him to fall sideways, but it launched directly into the net and crowd exploded for the first goal. During the applause, Louis’ teammates rushed towards him to pat him on the back and ruffle his hair in praise while he wore a proud grin as wide as his cheeks would allow.

By the end of the first half, Rockcrest had a strong lead leaving Vernon almost no chance. The crowd was buzzing with anticipation over the probable win. Jonathan had starting raving about a party in the Lister Hall common room to celebrate and even got Liam on board, which would normally be difficult considering he was the prefect for their year.

“I had no idea you were this into football,” Harry said to Zayn during the interval after the first half. Zayn looked up from his phone, not quite playing full attention.

“Oh, I guess so. When there’s a lot of excitement around it’s easy to get caught up.”

“And Louis’ doing great I see. He really got the crowd hyped after that first goal.”

“Yeah, he’s one of the best players the team has. He’s pretty well-liked around here.”

Seeing Zayn being this loud and outgoing was odd for him, even if he didn’t know the guy that well. Around school he always kept to himself and to get him to talk at all was quite the task. But maybe this really was what Zayn was like and Harry just hadn’t gotten to know that part of it. No matter, he’d figure it out eventually.

The stands began to empty when the game came to an end, excitement ringing through the air from the Rockcrest victory. The impromptu party that Jonathan had organized was to begin in an hour, as he let everyone know via texts and whispers through the stands at risk of any teachers or staff hearing.

As the group of them walked back to the dormitories the plan was being set on how to order the take-away pizzas and bring a few of the hidden cases of beer from the second floor storage room down to the common room. To Harry, it all seemed foolish that they thought they could get away with any of this, but the rest of them were so confident that he had no choice but to go along with it.

To help with setting up, Harry and Liam found a folding table that they could put the pizzas on in the same storage room that held the apparent cases of beer. Niall was the first of the team members to show from the match, so he and Jonathan went in search for said beer. In charge of music was TJ, who sat alone on the couch while he edited a playlist together to play over the speakers.

The common room was somewhere Harry hadn’t taken much time to explore yet. In the centre of the room was a grouping of leather couches and chairs arranged in a sort of open rectangle around a coffee table. On either side held table football games and billiard tables. Speakers hung from the ceiling across from each other at two corners of the room.

Before today, the most Harry had seen of the common room were the two vending machines that lined the hallway that he passed every day when he left the building. From what he knew, this is where Louis would hang out when he wasn’t in class or in their room. The faint lingering smell of smoke was a good indicator of the activities this room was often used for. And also what Louis found so appealing about hanging out in it.

Hours later the pizza was half gone, TJ had the music loud enough as to not raise suspicion, and almost every guy in the place had a red cup in his hand. Most were taking advantage of the table football while others wagered on games of pool. Around the couches some of them started a game of poker, something Harry definitely wouldn’t get himself into. For the most part, he was observing as he walked around, pretending to drink from the cup of beer that Niall brought him when they first opened the cases that were now strategically stacked in a separate room so they could be hidden from any unwanted guests.

“Enjoying yourself yet?” Louis asked as he approached Harry, who was leaning against the wall and watching a game of pool, and took the spot next to him.

“Yeah, I think so. I’ve never been to party so I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Most of these guys would tell you that this isn’t even a party since there’re no girls here.”

“I don’t know, it still seems like a party to me. Congrats on your win, by the way.”

“Oh, thanks. It’s a good way to start the season, I suppose,” Louis said modestly. “Have you ever had that before?” He asked, pointing to Harry’s cup of beer.

“No, I haven’t. Niall brought it for me.”

“You don’t like it, do you?” Louis knowingly smiled.

Harry laughed, “It’s horrible.”

“Here, I brought you this. Try it instead,” Louis swapped their cups and Harry gave him an odd look before taking a sip.

“Mm!” Harry’s eyebrows shot up, “That’s good! What is it?”

“Rum and cranberry juice. Don’t tell anyone where you got it from, though. Hard liquor is hard to come by around here.”

“Speaking of that, how did so much beer get in here anyway?” Harry took the opportunity to ask.

“TJ and I bring a few cases in over the summers for occasions like this. My father has keys for all the buildings and there’s next to no security during the holidays.” Louis shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Have you ever heard of, I don’t know, rule of law?”

“The moment I get caught for something, I’ll take responsibility. Until then…” Louis raised the cup of beer he was now holding to cheers then took a large gulp. When he lowered his cup, something across the room seemed to have caught his eye. “Hey, I just have to go check on something. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah, for sure.”

“And join in on a game or something, will ya?” Louis called behind him as he walked away. “There are no real perks to being a wallflower. The film lied to you!”

Taking Louis’ advice, at least in part, Harry removed himself from the wall and decided instead to take a lap of the room. Boredom was starting to kick in, so he figured he should do something with himself.

He looked for some of his friends first to see what they were up to, but Niall was deep into a round of poker that Rob was dealing, and Liam and Jonathan were both playing a game of pool. Harry preferred not to join in on something like that when he’d never played before. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself by how bad he assumed he’d be at it. No matter how fun it looked to be.

Instead he decided to find TJ who seemed to have made a make-shift DJ station for himself at one of the bar-height tables that lined the wall underneath the windows. He was taking his job pretty seriously for someone whose only task was to press the pause and play buttons.

“Hey man, y’alright?” TJ asked as Harry stepped up onto the tall seat across from him.

“Yeah, you know, just making rounds. How’s DJ-ing going?”

“You tell me. Do you like the music?”

“I haven’t heard a lot of it before, but it’s really good,” Harry praised and took another sip of the odd concoction Louis made for him.

“That’s what I was going for. Mainly alternative with a few Top 40 hits thrown in the please the majority. I’ve had no complaints so far.”

“Then I’d say you’re doing the job right.”

“I was actually just about to go grab another USB that has some 90s grunge on it from my ro-”

“I can grab it for you!” Harry interrupted far too excitedly, “I mean, if you want. I’m not doing anything really and you seem busy so I don’t mind.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. It’s the red one in the top drawer of my desk,” he pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and placed them in front of Harry. “You shouldn’t miss it.”

“I’m on it,” Harry declared, slipping off his chair and bringing the keys and his drink with him. It really wasn’t doing much to make this party- or whatever it was- as fun as he had hoped it would be. Having an excuse to leave was sounding great at the moment. Maybe after he brought back the USB he could just sneak back to his room. What he wouldn’t give for a little peace and quiet to get a head start on his homework for Monday. Or even better, he could call Sean, the boy he met at the bar. They only talked on the phone once so far and Harry already couldn’t wait for the next call. As soon as he got another chance to leave school grounds, they had planned to go out to dinner together for a proper date.

Harry moved through the room slow enough so it wouldn’t look like he was in a rush, but time started slowing down in his mind and he wasn’t sure at this point if it was from the rum, or how bored he was starting to feel.

When he got to the lift, Harry had to think really hard to remember what floor TJ’s room was on. Then he realized that TJ and Zayn shared a room and he had just dropped off a worksheet there for Zayn that he had accidentally left in class the other day.

Harry pressed the button for the fourth floor, and as soon as the door closed began downing the rest of the drink. There wasn’t much left in it anyway at that point. He wondered if he should ask Louis to make him another one before he escaped back to his room for the night.

The door opened for his floor and Harry felt a bit silly walking around with an empty cup. He decided to leave it on the floor of the lift so he could pick it back up on his way out. That drink sure was making him feel good. Louis must’ve put more alcohol in it than that bartender put in the vodka slimes he was drinking last weekend.

Walking down the hall he found the room number he was looking for, then realized he didn’t know which key out of the three on the set actually opened the door. He tried each one until he heard a click. As he opened the door, he reminded himself that he had to find the red USB in the top drawer of TJ’s desk. But one step in and a quick glance forward and his mind went blank.

Louis was tripping away from the bed and fumbling with his belt to get it done back up. Zayn had just slid up into a sitting position and was trying to look as casual as could through red cheeks. His shirt was off and had fallen-or was possibly tossed- beside the bed. Louis stared at the ground and brushed his hair back with one hand, looking both defeated and embarrassed. Because if Harry was not mistaken, he had just seen the two of them attached by the lips only a second ago.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean- I-” but he didn’t know how to finished his sentence so he turned around and slammed the door closed behind him before another word could be said by anybody.

There was no point in going back downstairs now, he thought. He didn’t exactly have a chance to grab the red USB stick.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry sat cross-legged on the floor in front of his bed as he flipped through the pages of the book he was reading, trying his best to focus on the words on the page instead of on his thoughts. He was confused, but really shouldn’t have been. Since Harry first met Zayn he had his suspicions about his friendship with Louis. How odd it was that they’d passively talk about each other, but never actually talk _to_ each other. At least, not in front of anyone else.

The first feeling he could register, besides confusion, was embarrassment. He invaded their privacy when he definitely wasn’t welcome and saw something he was definitely not meant to see. What was he supposed to say to Louis when he saw him next? “Sorry I walked in on you hooking up with your secret boyfriend! I promise I won’t say anything!” Actually, that was probably along the lines of the only thing he could say.

Of course he couldn’t tell anyone. Clearly the relationship was something the two of them wanted to hide and he respected that decision. However, that didn’t exactly change that the secret was no longer being kept from him. That thought brought him back to guilt. It was his fault he walked in on them. The room wasn’t his so he should’ve at least knocked before unlocking the door.

This must’ve been what Louis was talking about when he said he was taken back at that bar. And why he hadn’t brought up before and was quick to dismiss it when Harry did. Everything made sense the more he thought about it. How excited Zayn got at the football match and the all the weekends they would leave school together that Niall told him about. He wondered how long it’s been going on for. Obviously longer than he’s known them since that’s only been a few weeks.

The last recognized feeling that snuck up on him was unease. Sure all he knew right now was based on assumption, but it seemed all too familiar. All the secrecy and avoiding each other in public; it reminded him of the last relationship- or whatever it was- that he had. But this wasn’t his relationship. He didn’t know anything about it and it was none of his business. He should just forget he saw anything to begin with. Really, shouldn’t matter to him. It didn’t matter to him.

Harry had almost forgot about his book at this point. His eyes were following the words but he wasn’t sure what had happened in the last three pages.

By the time Louis returned to their room it was well after midnight. Harry was sitting at his desk when he trudged through the doorway, the light from the hallway illuminating the dark room that was previously lit only by a small desk lamp. Louis let his keys fall clattering onto his bedside table as he passed by.

“How was the rest of the party?” Harry asked, spinning around in his chair. Louis was walking towards the mini-fridge that was between their desks to get a bottle of water. He had to take a minute to chug half it before he could reply.

“Better after the fourth drink,” he said, capping the bottle and collapsing onto his bed. The bottle rolled out of his hand onto the floor next to him. From what Harry could tell Louis didn’t seem drunk, but he also hadn’t seen Louis drunk yet so he wouldn’t know what that looked like. Based on his limited knowledge of alcohol, Harry would say that tipsy is the word he would probably use to describe Louis’ current state.

“You should just go to bed,” suggested Harry, turning back around to close his laptop. He decided sleep was a good idea for himself as well.

“Not until you promise not to tell anybody,” Louis sat back up to say.

“What?”

“About Zayn and me- what you saw. Just, please, don’t say anything to anyone,” his tone was earnest.

“I wouldn’t think of it.”

“Thanks,” he nodded before relaxing back on his pillow.

Within minutes he was already asleep, still in his jeans and all.

All day Monday Harry spent worrying about Chemistry class. More specifically, he worried about having to sit next to Zayn in Chemistry. When he walked into class, Zayn was already sitting at their lab table and scribbling in a sketch book. From the time Harry walked into the room to when he took out his last book, Zayn didn’t even spare him one glance. Unable to allow the silence to continue, Harry took it upon himself to be the first to speak up.

“I already promised Louis I wouldn’t tell anybody,” he said, looking at Zayn’s left ear since he couldn’t see his face.

“Great,” Zayn mumbled passively. When he said it Harry felt like the whole room froze over. This already wasn’t going to go well and he only got one word out of him.

“Look, I’m really sorry that I just walked in on you guys, but-”

“It’s not your fault,” Zayn said quickly and actually turned his head towards Harry.

“It’s not?”

“No, we were the ones sneaking around, not you,” Zayn sighed and began talking just above a whisper, leaning over his shoulder to get a little closer to Harry. “Listen, I’m not thrilled about the situation, but it’s not your fault. This is between us. Just don’t worry about it, okay?”

Harry nodded and backed away slightly, “Yeah, of course.”

But it was all he could worry about because now he felt like he made a bad situation worse. He just had to remind himself that this was not his problem to fix and focus his mind on learning about the structure of ionic and covalent bonds.

 

“Alright hand me the _Back to the Future_ one next,” Louis mumbled through the nails sticking out of his mouth. He was stood on the top ring of the step ladder with a hammer in one hand and the other outstretched.

“I can’t believe we only have space for four of these framed posters and you pick _Back to the Future_ to be one,” Harry shook his head as he lifted one of the frames that was leaning against Louis’ bed.

“ _Back to the Future_ is a classic! If you insult that movie, you insult me.”

“You think every film made before the year 2000 is a classic.”

“Just the good ones.”

Harry filed through the other ones in the stack that Louis had ordered online. When he placed the order, he hadn’t taken into consideration the size of the room, even though he’d been living in those dorms for the last six years. Now they were stuck with ten framed film posters and nowhere to put them in their cramped room.

“At least tell me the _Fight Club_ poster is going up,” Harry said, pulling it out from the bottom of the stack. Louis was still trying to position the frame in his hands onto the nails he’d just hammered into the wall.

“You’ve seen _Fight Club_?”

“Yeah, I read the book when I was about fifteen. I’ve always liked Chuck Palahniuk. Interesting writing style.”

When he finally got the positioning right, Louis stepped down off the ladder to make sure it was hung straight.

“Huh. I’ve only seen the film,” Louis shrugged, reaching for the next poster. It was the _Fight Club_ one, just like Harry had requested.

“You really should read the book. I know it’s what everyone says, but it really is a lot better than the film.”

“Oh, I don’t really-”

“Actually, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I brought it with me.” Harry turned around towards the stack of books that was piled next to his bed and examined each sideways spine.

“Really, Harry, you don’t have to-”

“Yeah, here it is!”

Carefully, Harry pulled out one of the books near the bottom of the stack, using the other hand to balance the rest so they wouldn’t topple over. He handed the book over to Louis, feeling excited about the idea of him reading it so he’d have someone new to discuss the story with.

“Alright, I guess I’ll give it a try,” Louis accepted the book with a tight lipped smile and glanced at the front and back covers.

“Borrow it as long as you want,” Harry said.

It took longer than expected, but Louis and Harry eventually got all four film posters hung up around their dorm. Next to the door was the first _Star Wars,_ the poster Louis claimed to be actually printed in 1977. Above Louis’ bed was _Ferris Buller’s Day Off,_ a film that Harry was yet to see the end of. Between their desks was the dreaded _Back to the Future_ one that Harry couldn’t stand, but they agreed in the beginning that they each got to pick one themselves to hang up whether the other liked it or not. And finally, above Harry’s bed, was the _Fight Club_ poster. The only one really worth looking at in Harry’s opinion.

Three hours later, Harry found himself in the passenger seat of Louis’ convertible and only a faint idea of the persuasion Louis used to get him there. Just that morning Louis had started complaining that his alcohol stash was running low and somehow convinced Harry to join him in going to buy more. That meant sneaking out and using their fake IDs once again, something Harry was still yet to become comfortable with.

They didn’t have to make a trip into the city this time since Louis knew of quite a few surrounding small towns that surely had liquor stores. When they pulled up and got out of the car, Louis reminded Harry to not act like this was his first time being in a liquor store, even though it obviously was. If he had to, he’d just say nothing at all and pretend to browse casually.

“Evening, boys,” the small old woman working at the cash register greeted them.

“Hello,” Louis greeted with a sincere smile as he lead the way. Harry offered a small nod as well as he passed.

“What exactly do we need to get?” Harry asked when they were halfway down an aisle with mostly clear bottles.

“Tequila, I was thinking. I still have a bottle of rum left, but I think I’m running low on whiskey,” he said as he examined the labels on the bottles.

“I’ve never had whiskey,” Harry said casually.

“Yes you have. That’s what you choked on when I ordered you that drink at the bar.”

“I thought that was called jack.”

“Jack Daniels is a brand of whiskey,” Louis tried to say without laughing.

“Oh, well I’ve never had tequila either.”

“If you’re saying this so I’ll let you have some, know that that was already the plan,” Louis said as he picked up one of the narrower bottles and continued to the next aisle. It was filled with bottles of many shapes holding a darker liquid, some even locked up in glass cases. The bottle Louis looked at first was over three hundred pounds and Harry had to remind himself again that money wasn’t an issue for Louis, unlike what he was used to.

“How do you know what brand is good?” asked Harry.

“Years of stealing bottles from my father’s liquor cabinet. He has quite the collection. The cabinet takes up a whole wall in one of our lounges.”

“And he never knew you’d take them?”

“Oh, he knew,” Louis assured, “He just didn’t care. Stealing your parents’ liquor is part of being a teenager. My friends back home and I, we used to drive up to the lookout on this hill and bring along a bottle of whatever one of us could find. We’d drink the whole thing between us while music blared over the radio until the sun came up.”

“We have lived very different lives, you and I,” Harry observed sagaciously.

“And yet, here we both are.”

Louis finally decided on a bottle and brought both up to the woman at the front who offered them a kind smile, similar to that of a grandmother. She scanned both items and put them in separate paper bags before asking Louis for his ID. Harry assumed he would get asked as well just for being in the store, but he wasn’t buying anything himself so she mustn’t have cared.

“You know, kids these days are sure looking younger and younger,” the woman laughed to herself as she handed Louis his change.

“Well, if I worked in a liquor store I think I would’ve had to ID you,” Louis said charmingly. Harry almost snorted because the woman’s hair was white and thinning and her face had more wrinkles than he could count. Even still, the woman giggled with flattery as she wished them both a good night.

When they reached outside, Louis stood on the sidewalk and fumbled for his keys while Harry waited on his side of the car for Louis to unlock the doors. Instead, Louis tossed the keys in his direction with a mischievous grin. Harry just barely caught them with the hand that wasn’t holding the tequila and looked at Louis like he was crazy.

“Why are you giving me these?” he asked.

“So you can drive,” Louis said brightly.

“So I can _what_?!”

“Drive. You know, ‘vroom vroom’,” he made the motion of turning a steering wheel with his hands. This did not amuse Harry like he hoped it would.

“I don’t drive! I’ve never driven. I’ve never even sat in the driver’s seat of a car.”

“Wait, you don’t have your license?” Louis raised an eyebrow and took the bag out of his hands so he could put both bottles in the back seat.

“No, I don’t!”

“Okay, I’ll teach you then. Get in.”

Louis was already opening the door to the passenger seat and climbing in, still just as calm as he was when he first gave Harry the keys. Nervously, Harry walked over to the other side and pulled the handle on the door.

“You are insane,” he said, and sat down hesitantly behind the wheel.

Sitting on this side of the car almost felt wrong. So did having the large steering wheel practically in his lap. He reached his hand down the side of the seat to push it a bit further back until his outstretched foot could comfortably reach the pedals, then turned for his seatbelt to click it on. Slowly, he rested both hands on the hard leather of the wheel and gripped it softly.

“As ready as you look to go, you need to start the car first,” Louis pointed out.

“Oh, right.”

Harry found the largest key on the chain and inserted it into the ignition. The noise it made when it started up, although no different to how it usually sounded, made Harry jump.

“Okay, now put your foot on the break and put the car into reverse,” instructed Louis. His body was turned slightly towards Harry to watch as he pulled the gear shift down. “Alright ease off the break and turn the wheel towards the right so we’ll angle left.”

Harry lifted his foot so slowly that the needle on the speedometer barely even moved from zero. Knowing that he was the one making the car move made his heart suddenly beat a lot faster.

“Good, now put it in drive and turn right out of the exit. It’s mostly straight on country roads all the way home anyway.”

For some reason Louis was far more relaxed than Harry and he wasn’t sure if that was making him more or less nervous. He pulled the gear shift even further down and tried to press lightly on the gas. When nothing happened, he added a bit more pressure.

“The car isn’t moving,” Harry said, a mix of frustration and confusion.

“That’s because you have it in neutral. The ‘D’ stands for ‘drive’. You’re lucky I got the transmission switched from manual to automatic otherwise this would be going a lot worse.” Louis was smiling when he said it, but Harry had trouble finding the humour because he’d never driven a car before and this was illegal and he’d probably accidentally drive them into a lake or something. No matter, he still moved the shift down one more click and pressed the gas once more.

The car did move this time, but only slightly. Before they reached the stop sign at the end of the empty car park, Harry had maxed at about 7 kilometers an hour. One thing Harry did know how to do was put on a signal light, which he felt proud of right before they came to a sudden halt.

“Woah, okay. When you break, you don’t slam your foot down at once. It’s always easing on and off the pedals,” said Louis.

“Okay, got it.”

Harry sat there for a moment, looking both ways a few times even though there were no cars in their vicinity whatsoever. The town they stopped in only had one road going through it and that was the road he needed to turn on.

“You can go, there’s no one coming,” Louis urged.

“I know. I’m just waiting.”

“For what, the whiskey in the back to age?”

“More like for my body to catch up to my brain. It’s just, I’ve never driven before and this is a very nice car and I don’t want to hurt it, or me, or you.”

Louis placed one hand on Harry’s shoulder and spoke very carefully. “Harry, it is almost the middle of the night in September. The roads are dry as a bone and we’ll be lucky if we even pass another car in the ten minutes it will take to get to my house. You will be fine.”

Something about Louis’ tone made Harry breathe a sigh of relief and actually believe him that it was going to be fine. He could drive a car. Most people drove a car. His sister had her license by the time she was his age, why couldn’t he do the same?

He made the turn slowly and picked up the speed as he straightened out. When he started to get the feel for it a bit, he was almost going the actual speed limit.

“See, not so bad, is it?”

“No, it’s actually kind of fun,” Harry said with the faintest hint of a smile.

“Yeah, driving is fun. Just wait until you can do it legally.”

“How long have you had your license for, anyway?” asked Harry.

“Almost two years, I think.”

“Two? Don’t you have to be seventeen to get your license? That doesn’t add up.”

“Oh, I guess you’re right. Going on my second year then. In December.”

“That’s when you turn eighteen?”

“Yep, Christmas Eve,” Louis sighed. It must’ve been something he’d gotten tired of repeating. He adjusted the way he was sitting to slouch a bit more and make himself comfortable. “How about you, when do you turn eighteen?”

“Uh, February.” Harry seemed a bit distracted all of the sudden and leaned forward to look harder out the windshield. “Is that an intersection up there?”

“It’s just a stop sign. My house is down this road. I’ll tell you when to turn again.” As he said it his phone buzzed with a notification. When he pulled it out to look at the message, Harry felt like he was texting and driving himself.

“Is the turn right away?” he asked, hoping to gain Louis’ attention again.

“No, you’ve got a ways to go still.”

He was typing rapidly and his phone was just far enough away from his face that Harry could almost see the screen if he glanced over. It took all of his will power not to, but he eventually gave in and let his eyes fall just enough to look at the name. Written at the top of the conversation was just the letter ‘Z’ with a yellow heart emoji next to it. Obviously it was Zayn, which made Harry’s eyes snap right back up.

“Hey, um, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want,” Harry began cautiously, “But when did you and Zayn start- you know-?”

“Dating? I think it’s been around five months,” Louis replied easily, putting his phone down.

“So you are dating then? Like a relationship, not just-?”

“It’s just us here, you don’t have to speak in code. Yes, we’re together.”

“Why keep it a secret then?”

Louis was visibly more uncomfortable with being asked that question. He looked out his own window and mumbled nothing more than, “It’s complicated.”

“Fair enough,” Harry nodded, not wanting to push that part of the conversation any further. He gripped the steering wheel even tighter and stared a bit further into the road than the beams of the headlights would allow. “So is he your first boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend, yes. Relationship, no. There were a few girls back home over the years, but mostly daughters of my parents’ friends. No one I was actually interested in. Never even made it farther than a kiss with a girl,” he laughed. “They know about Zayn though. He visited over the summer and that’s when I told them.”

“And they took it okay?”

“My mum did. Dad- not so much. He didn’t kick me out or anything, just not sure he fully approves. Probably just thinks his only child will never give him grandchildren or something like that. He’ll get over it I’m sure,” Louis said, seemingly unconcerned.

“When my mum found out, she just flat out asked me if I was gay and I said yes. My sister even told me she always figured that was the case. It was kind of the worst-kept-secret in my family,” Harry breathed a laugh, trying to keep the conversation light.

“How did your dad take it?” There was a slight emphasis on the “your”, but Harry chose to ignore it.

“Oh- um- he doesn’t know, I guess. I don’t talk to him much though so it doesn’t matter.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“You didn’t,” Harry reassured. “He left when we were little kids. It’s not much of an open wound anymore. Barely even a scar at this point.”

An expected silence followed the statement. Harry never really knew how to respond when someone brought up his dad. The subject didn’t bother him as much as most people seemed to think. He was so young when he left that Harry never had the chance to get to know his father to begin with. His family was always him, his mum, and his sister. That’s all he ever knew and it was all he ever needed.

“So how’s Sean?” Louis asked all of the sudden.

“Sean?”

“That’s his name, right?”

“No- I mean- yeah. He’s good, I suppose.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Harry smiled at the thought of it.

“I can drive you next weekend if you want to meet up with him.”

“Really?” Harry glanced at him directly, surprised by the offer.

“Yeah, I have nothing else going on. I can head to the cinema or something while you guys are together. Unless you want me to pick you up in the morning-”

“No!” Harry said before Louis could even finish his sentence. He didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly and Louis looked like he was trying to suppress a slight laugh, knowing that answer was coming. “I just mean that that’s a little soon. I think we’ll go out for dinner, but that’s all.”

“Whatever you say,” Louis smirked even though he knew Harry wouldn’ change his mind.

Finally feeling more comfortable behind the wheel, Harry made the turn into Louis’ driveway confidently when it came time. Even though only about three cars passed during the drive and Harry hardly had to actually do anything, he was feeling much better about his abilities. That, and excitement over his probable date with Sean next week. The first chance he got, he needed to text him to let him know the good news.

They had to wait in the garage for a few moments before the cab arrived that would take them back to Rockcrest. Or rather, a block away from Rockcrest. They were still sat in the car, not having moved since Harry turned it off.

“You’re actually a pretty good driver,” Louis complimented.

“Thanks. You know, if you’re going to teach me to drive, you should let me tutor you.”

“I never said I was going to teach you to drive.”

“Oh, I just thought-”

“But I will if you want me to. And maybe we could try the tutoring…” he trailed off at the end, but Harry’s face lit up.

“We’ll start Tuesday night in the library at four,” Harry beamed.

“I’ll be there, probably at the exact same time as you. You know, since we live in the same room and all.”


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn’t until Harry was sitting next to Louis in the library that he realized the extent of Louis’ slacking off. How he managed to get through the last twelve years of school with his attention span, Harry had no idea. And it wasn’t like Louis wasn’t smart, he was probably the cleverest and wittiest person Harry had met, he just didn’t care. School work was at the bottom of his list of priorities, maybe just above doing laundry and tidying up. Lacking dedication wasn’t the case either because Harry had seen him out on the football field. When he loved something, he put his all into it. He just didn’t love school.

With that said, love it or hate it, he still had to pass his classes.

“So the problem with the modified Arrhenius theory is that not all acid-base reactions occur in water,” Harry explained, circling the notes in front of them with his capped pen to try to maintain Louis’ attention. He was glancing down the hall towards the entrance and when Harry noticed, he turned his head the same way. Zayn had just entered with his arms full of schoolwork and immediately noticed their eyes. As casually as he could, he spun ninety degrees and walked down one of the rows of bookshelves.

“Should we invite him to our table?” Harry offered kindly.

“What?” Louis looked at him and furrowed his brow. “No, I don’t think we should.”

“Why not? I’ve offered to help him study too and you guys aren’t exactly strangers.”

“Just drop it okay?” Louis snapped.

Harry opened his mouth slightly to say something, but dropped his head and closed it instead.

“Sorry, I just- It’s nothing…” Louis trailed off, looking down at his hands.

Unsure what to make of the outburst, Harry remained silent. Whatever it was about, Louis clearly was not in the mood to discuss the topic any further.

 “You know what the other problem with the modified Arrhenius theory is?” Louis asked in a more relaxed tone as he slouched so low in his seat that he could rest his head on the back rest.

“Dare I ask?”

“Well for one, it sounds like a disease that would infect your ass. And two, I already can’t remember what you just said about it.”

Harry sighed and leaned back in his own chair. He really felt ready to give up, but he was determined to help Louis learn. That was something they had in common, putting their all into something they loved. Harry just happened to love school. At least, he loved doing well in it.

“I don’t understand you. I give you the equations to predict equilibrium change and you get all the answers right. I try to explain one theory and it just goes in one ear and out the other!” Harry exclaimed.

“Well, basic maths is easy. I can figure out numbers.”

Harry narrowed his eyes as he rested one hand on his propped up fist.

“What mark do you have in Maths right now?”

“Sixty-something I think,” he shrugged. “I didn’t say I was _good_ at it. This just happens to be at about a ninth year level and that’s around where I stand academically.”

“Come on, you know you aren’t that bad. You said you were doing well in English.”

“Yeah, but who can’t bullshit an essay?” Louis tilted his head up so he could balance the pen he was holding horizontally across the bridge of his nose. “You know, Harry, the trick to being lazy is being charming enough to get away with it.”

“So that’s how you’re passing? Charming all of the teachers? Or do you slip them hundred pound notes when you hand in your assignments like you do Patrick?”

In his head, the statement sounded like a joke. When it came out of his mouth however, the tone was much harsher. And that was exactly how it came across based on the sudden cold look on Louis’ face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Harry tried to assure, voice a bit quieter.

“No, it’s fine,” Louis leaned forward to rest his hands on the table, trying to shake off the hit of the accidental blow. “I know my father pays my way around here. I don’t like having one of the lowest averages at Rockcrest, but it’s a lot of work just trying to get by. My parents sent me here, I didn’t ask to go to boarding school. That’s the way my father was raised so that’s how he raised me.”

“You’re smarter than you think,” Harry told him, trying to push for a smile.

“Try telling that to my father,” Louis laughed, but there was no humour in his voice.

Harry watched his smile diminish as he realized what he just said.

“If it means anything at all, I’m pretty glad your parents sent you here.”

For a few moments, Louis stayed quiet. His phone lit up across the table and he looked briefly at the message, but set it down before typing out a reply.

“Let’s get back to work, shall we?” said Louis with a deep breath, raising his eyebrows as if it would help him gain focus. “Uranus theory and all that, right?”

“Arrhenius,” Harry smirked, “but nice try,”

Before dinner they had gotten in a solid two hours of studying which Harry considered great progress. While that was hardly half as much as he tended to do daily, he was pretty sure it was the most Louis had done all year.

As the term progressed Harry found it to be quite exhausting eating every meal with a group of friends. Once in a while he’d try to sneak into breakfast or lunch a bit early and get a small table on his own so he could have a little peace and quiet as he ate. Dinner, however, was nearly impossible to get out of. If he wasn’t walking over from the dorm with Louis, then it was from the library with Liam or Niall. When it was a rare moment that he was by himself, the table was probably already filling up by the time he arrived and the guys would start waving him over. As much as he loved being around his friends, his introverted personality longed for that bit of isolation. But dinner, he could tolerate.

Halfway through the meal, Jonathan had the table cracking up over something that Harry hadn’t quite understood, but he laughed along anyway to at least look like he was trying to be involved. He was sat next to Liam, who had quite the story to tell about an accidental spill that had happened during an experiment in class earlier that day.

Everyone from their group of friends was there, Harry noticed, except for Zayn. It wasn’t totally surprising. Being introverted was a trait that he and Harry shared. For him to want to be alone for a meal was completely understandable in Harry’s eyes. Out of curiosity, he looked at Niall across from him anyway and asked if he knew where Zayn could be.

“TJ said he wasn’t feeling great so I guess he stayed behind in the dorm,” Niall told him, catching Louis’ attention from a few seats away as well.

“Is he alright?” Louis asked nonchalantly, poking at the bit of salad on his plate. He probably wouldn’t have got it if Rob hadn’t been at the buffet tables right when they arrived.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Just keeping up the starving artist image, I assume,” Niall’s remark was met with a loud boo coming from TJ.

“I’ve heard my dad make a better pun than that,” he yelled across the table with a look of disgust. This only made Niall laughed harder so TJ took a crouton off his plate and threw it at him.

Harry was too distracted by Louis’ sudden interest in a text on his phone to react at all to the scene that was happening in front of him.

Not even a minute later, Louis was standing up and collecting his tray. It was still plenty filled with food and no one else had finished eating yet.

“Sorry I have to run, lads,” he announced, seeming to be in a sudden rush but trying not to show it, “Just have to go take care of something.” When he said it, he gave Harry a knowing look, but Harry couldn’t tell if it meant “something is wrong” or “try to take your time coming back to the dorm.” Either way, he figured following the precautions of the latter was the safest way to go.

When Harry did finally go back, his walk was taken much slower than normal. He even took an extra lap around the humanities building just to buy some time. Maybe even get those few extra steps in to reach the recommended ten thousand a day for once. He took the stairs instead of the lift when he did reach the dorms. The whole scenario, he supposed, could be avoided with a simple text to ask if any privacy was needed, but Harry didn’t think of that before and it was too late now.

Crossing the hallway from the stairwell to room 34, Harry saw exactly what he both hoped he would and wouldn’t see. Zayn was exiting their dorm rather briskly and made a beeline straight for the lift. He didn’t make eye contact with Harry at all. Harry wasn’t even sure Zayn noticed him standing there. He was too far away to read the expression on his face, but Harry could tell it wasn’t good just by the way he walked, or rather, stormed out of the room.

Opening the door to his room, Harry peeked through the crack before he entered. Louis was sitting with his knees up in the centre of his bed, back against the headboard. His arms were folded over his knees and his head was buried in them. Harry wondered if he should leave him alone, but Louis had already noticed he was standing there and raised his head in an effort to look normal.

“You alright?” Harry asked, closing the door behind him and rounding the bed so he could see Louis’ face. His eyes weren’t puffy at all and his face had only gone a light shade of pink. The fact that he at least wasn’t crying was a relief.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Louis assured. He dropped his knees and crossed his legs in front of him instead.

“Are the two of you alright?”

“I don’t really know,” sighed Louis.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head slightly then moved to stand up. “I think I’m just going to go take a shower. Clear my mind a bit.”

“If you need anything, you know I’m here,” Harry said, a tight-lipped offer of sympathy.

Louis returned the sentiment with a sad smile.

“I know.”

 

The next day Louis didn’t show up to any of his classes. When Harry tried to get him out of his bed that morning he groaned that he wasn’t feeling up to it. Harry reminded him that skipping class usually resulted in after school detentions, but he said that he would serve detentions all next week if he had to, then rolled over to go back to sleep.

Harry didn’t see Zayn all day either, or in Chemistry for the rest of the week. He did however still sit the lunch table with the rest of their friends. Louis did too, on the days he could drag himself over to the dining hall. The lack of words or eye contact between them was not surprising for anyone except Harry. The rest were used to how little they interacted in their friendship, but now that Harry knew, he picked up on the subtleties that no one else could.

By Friday, Louis had seemed better. Not normal, but better. Harry still hadn’t been able to get out of him what happened that night he and Zayn fought. They hadn’t spoken much at all since then. Louis seemed to want time to himself and Harry was willing to give him as much as he needed.

On Saturday Louis walked into their dorm in an oddly spirited mood. His hair was still wet from his shower and he was wearing that dressing gown Harry had bought him as a peace offering. Harry glanced at from where his sat on his bed with a laptop in front of him when Louis entered the room.

“Excited for your date tonight?” Louis asked, heading for his cupboard to find something to wear.

“Yeah, I suppose. I wasn’t sure if you still wanted to drive me.”

“What’d you mean? Of course I’m driving you. Told you I would, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but-”

“I’m not one to go back on my promises.” He settled on his usual dark jeans and pulled a graphic tee off its hanger.

“Louis,” Harry started, putting his laptop off to the side, “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Louis raised an eyebrow to think for a moment as he pulled one leg through his jeans, “not really.”

“So everything is okay then?” Harry asked, sounding a bit more relived. “You two made up?”

Turning around as he did up the top button, Louis reached for the shirt next and pulled it over his head. It was black as well and had the brand logo on the front.

“Not really,” Louis repeated, pulling the shirt over his head. “We broke up.”

“Oh,” said Harry, not expecting to be as surprised as he was when he heard Louis say it. “What happened?”

“It’s a long story,” Louis sighed, then turned to glance in the mirror and fluff out his hair that was just beginning to dry. “Too many problems that couldn’t be worked out, I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not at all, actually,” Louis shook his head, picking at his fingers. “If that’s alright.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course it’s alright.”

“Good,” Louis grinned with tight lips. “Let’s head out than, shall we? We have a date to get you to.”

On the drive into the city, Harry tapped anxiously on his knee and looked out the window as if he was searching for Sean. Of course that wasn’t the case since they only just broke city limits and were hardly close to the restaurant Harry was supposed to be meeting him at. Louis was actually the one who picked it out for them. When he mentioned that there was a pub across the street that he could hang out in so it didn’t look like he was there to chaperone the date, Harry was all for it.

Harry just wanted everything about this night to be perfect. He hadn’t seen Sean since they met, but they had been talking on the phone at least twice a week for the last month. Sean was smart and sweet and exactly the type of person Harry thought he could envision himself with. As long as they could get through the first date without it being too awkward, it should be smooth sailing from there.

“You seem nervous,” Louis pointed out, referring to the knee tapping.

“It’s not too noticeable, is it?”

“Only if someone looks at you.”

“Aw, don’t say that! I don’t want be nervous around him! He’ll think I don’t want to be there,” Harry whined.

“He won’t think that. Come on, you know what it’s like. It’s not like you’ve never been on a date before,” Louis laughed, but Harry stayed silent. When he tried to catch his gaze, Harry turned his head back towards the window.

“You have been on a date before, haven’t you?” he asked.

Harry mumbled a response.

“What was that?”

“I said ‘No, I’ve never been on a date!’” Harry burst.

“But I thought you said you’ve had a boyfriend before?”

“No, I told you, we didn’t date. Honestly, it was mostly fooling around when his parents weren’t home. We never went out for dinner together or anything like that.”

“Not even going to the cinema to round first base in the back row?” Louis pushed, genuinely surprised by the confession.

“I don’t think we ever even spoke in public to be honest.”

Harry tried to keep his tone light when he spoke to ensure Louis knew he had no hard feelings about it. He didn’t want Louis to feel bad for him in any way. That setup was agreed upon by both of them and he should’ve known from the beginning that it wouldn’t work when they didn’t even consider themselves to be in a relationship.

“How did you even meet him, then?”

“I suppose it’s a bit embarrassing, but a chatroom online. It was before I was out to anyone so I went on there just looking for someone to talk to and it turned out we lived in the same area so we just went from there.”

“And how old were you when all this went down?” Louis raised an eyebrow.

“About fifteen I think.”

“Fifteen?! What if that guy turned out to be a middle-aged creep?”

“I didn’t say it was a good idea!” exclaimed Harry, who couldn’t hold in his laughter. He’d never gone into the details of all of this with anyone before so he was only now realizing how ridiculous it was at the start.

“Honestly, how you’re still alive baffles me,” Louis shook his head. “The guy I’m taking you to meet actually is Sean right? Not some guy with a headless ab photo on a dating app?”

“Haven’t even seen that much of him yet. The only picture he sent me was of his dick.”

It took Louis a moment to catch the sarcasm, but once he did the laugh came out more like a snort.

When they got to the restaurant, Louis parted ways with Harry with the exchange of wishes of good luck and a promise to fill him in on everything that happened afterwards. Once he was inside, Louis crossed the street to the pub in hopes to get some food for himself and possibly a drink. He probably had well over an hour of time to kill, two if the date was going well.

Harry tried to convince him to bring some homework with him that he could get done, but while he did have a textbook in his car, he had no plans of going back there to get it. Instead, Louis brought with him Harry’s copy of _Fight Club_. Finding a small booth in the corner, he hoped that maybe he could try to get through a couple of chapters. He read the first one earlier that day and was immediately hooked.

The pub wasn’t as busy as one would expect for a Saturday night, but its crowd was much older in age than Louis was used to. Not much for partying, he supposed these people weren’t. Half of them were alone just like him, and they didn’t seem remotely interested in picking anyone up tonight. Not that Louis was interested in picking anyone up either. He just got finished with one relationship and it was far too early for a rebound. All he wanted to do was sit there by himself, sip at the beer the waitress had just brought him, and read.

As he turned the page to chapter four, his phone lit up. It was only a calendar notification reminding him what time he had football practice tomorrow. But he looked too closely at his phone because all he could see was the background picture behind the little message. In graffiti style art, it was the word ‘love’ with knifes and bullet holes drawn non-violently through it. It was a sketch Zayn drew earlier last year before they started dating. They were hanging out in Zayn’s dorm and sitting on one of the messy desks so they could smoke next to the open window. Upon the piles of papers, Louis found this particular drawing on a sheet of lined paper that Zayn probably did when he was bored in class. He told Louis he could keep it, which took Louis off guard since he was hardly known for showing his work off, never mind letting someone have a piece of it.

He clicked the screen back on, realizing he’d been staring so long it turned off by itself. Then he unlocked it and went to settings so he could pick out a default background. It was time for a much needed and long awaited change.

“Can I get you anything else?” the waitress appeared next to his table to ask. Louis looked up at her for a moment, then back to his phone with the new boring background.

“Could I actually get a double Jack with ice please? And keep them coming if you would,” Louis asked with a charming smile. He didn’t want anything fancy.

“Right away,” the waitress nodded.

Louis placed the bookmark between the pages before chapter four and downed the rest of his beer. He decided he had a new goal tonight, and that was to get absolutely sloshed. When he got his first drink, he had it done in less than five minutes. The second wasn’t brought to him for another fifteen, but that gave him plenty of time to scroll though his camera roll.

He started with the pictures of them when they first got together. A few odd selfies and candid photos of them secluded in one of their dorms while the roommate was away. Then came their impromptu trip to Paris for a weekend that went horrible when Louis lost his wallet, but also became one of his favourite memories. When summer came along there were photos of them out by the pool when Zayn came to visit and of the trails when they decided to try hiking (and found out that they both loathed hiking). Near the bottom was just the other weekend when Zayn picked up the phone while Louis was driving and decided to take pictures of himself making twenty different faces into the camera while Louis laughed along beside him.

There were nearly 150 photos selected by the time he got through the whole roll. He tapped on ‘delete’ for all of them.

An hour later, Harry had just texted Louis that he was done with his date and received an oddly worded reply that he assumed meant to meet him inside the pub. When he walked Sean to his cab, Sean left a lingering peck on his lips and said he hoped he would see him again soon. Harry was thinking the same thing, but couldn’t get out much more than a “see you later” through the butterflies in his stomach.

Reaching the inside of the pub, Harry saw Louis sitting by himself in a booth and walked over eagerly, excited to tell him how well the date went.

“Harreh!” Louis shouted as soon as he recognized the boy walking towards him. Harry hesitated a moment before sitting in the seat across from him.

“You alright, Lou?” he asked glancing down at the glass between his hands. It was a light brown liquid with a few ice cubes rattling around inside of it.

“’ve been betta,” Louis shrugged, tipping the glass to his lips once more. “How was your date, huh? Did ya get lucky?” he winked dramatically so half of his face scrunched up and nudged the air in front of Harry.

“How many drinks did you have?”

“Only four, but they were doubles. Oh, and one beer!” Louis exclaimed like it was the most fascinating thing he’s heard.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

Louis stared at him for a moment with a furrowed brow. “No, what gave it away?!” he asked sarcastically.

“Louis, you _drove_ us here. Your car is parked just outside. How do you expect us to get home?” Harry stressed, leaning back in his chair.

Louis lifted his hips so he could dig in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He dropped it on the table between them and looked at Harry with a smirk.

“You drive.”

“You are actually fucking insane,” Harry laughed coldly.

His thought as they eyed each other in the bar was the same as when he sat in the driver’s seat, feeling like the unlicensed child he was, with a drunken buffoon beside him. With what felt like even more worry weighing on his shoulders than before, Harry started the engine.

“I have to signal when I pull out of a parallel park, right?” Harry asked, hands gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“Mhmm,” Louis mumbled propping his head up by his elbow on the door.

“You have to pay attention, okay? At least try to help me,” Harry insisted, shoulder checking behind him as he pulled the car out of the stall. He hit the gas a little too hard and had to break right away when someone needed to cross in front of him.

“Watch out for th’ person,” Louis said as they were already stopped and the person was almost at the other end of the cross walk.

“We’re going to die,” Harry whispered to himself as he continued on, bracing himself for the green light on the next corner to turn red.

If he had thought of any other option to get them home at the time, he would’ve done that instead in a heartbeat. They could’ve called a cab and maybe got a tow truck to bring the car back to Louis’ house, but he didn’t know exactly where that was, nor did he have any money to pay for either of those things and Louis definitely wasn’t budging. He had it in his mind that Harry could drive and Harry was just hoping they would somehow make it home alive.

“When do I make a turn?” Harry asked, hoping Louis would still have some sense of direction.

“Not here,” he informed as they drove on a section of straight road.

“I know that, but how far until the turn?”

“Soon.”

“Do you know where we are?”

“Harry, do you trust me?” Louis asked sincerely.

Harry was getting pretty tired of that question. “In your current state, no, I definitely do not trust you.”

“Well you should, because you have to turn left here.”

They were hardly a metre away from the beginning of the intersection. The car was going far too fast to safely make the turn, but in a panic Harry slammed on the breaks and pulled the steering wheel. Behind them someone leaned on the horn and the back tires screeched as Harry tried to get the car back between the lines.

“Louis!” Harry exclaimed, trying to catch his breath because his heart was pounding so hard, “You have to warn me sooner. We’re going to get into an accident like this!”

“’S fine. They stopped for you.”

“Why did you do this?!” Harry said again, voice almost at a shout. “You knew you had to drive us home because I don’t have a license. What made you think it was okay to inebriate yourself beforehand? I swear, you aren’t an idiot, but you sure as hell are irresponsible.”

Louis didn’t say anything after that and Harry’s expression remained icy. He wasn’t sorry for yelling at Louis because, frankly, he deserved it. It wasn’t fair for him to put Harry in this position when it was completely avoidable. All Louis had to do was not order his body weight in alcohol and everything would be fine. They’d be driving home in the opposite seats and Harry would be excitedly telling him about how well the date went. Instead, Harry’s heart was in his throat and silence hung heavy between them.

“Turn right here then its straight all the way home,” Louis mumbled, pointing at the intersection that was far enough away that Harry could turn safely.

When they reached the stretch of highway home, Harry glanced away from the road for a moment to look at Louis. He was staring out the window and had a book resting on his lap. Harry recognized it right away as the one he had lent him. The bookmark was a few chapters in at least, so he must’ve been reading it. He wondered if Louis had brought it to read in that pub. But if that was the case, then why did he decide to drink so much?

“Zayn broke up with me,” Louis said out of the blue. His oddly bright tone of voice did not match the statement.

“You already told me that,” Harry replied, much quieter.

“No, I told you that we broke up. I didn’t tell you that he was the one that broke up with me.”

“Why are you bringing this up now?”

“I didn’t want us t’ break up. I really liked him, you know. He was th’ one that always had a problem with everything. Who cares if everyone knew we were in a relationship? Him, apparently. Not me.”

“So he was the one that made you guys keep it a secret?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You brought it up, man.”

Louis looked away towards the window again, then pulled out his phone. He had it angled purposely so Harry couldn’t see the screen.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, turning his head quickly between him and the road.

“He shouldn’t have broken up with me. I want to break up with _him_ ,” said Louis confidently.

“Louis…”

“It’s not my fault he couldn’t handle you knowing about us. He was the one who didn’t want us to spend too much time together in public. I should’ve broke up with him.” By the movement of his thumb Harry could tell he was scrolling fast so he could reach the bottom of his contacts list.

“I know you’re upset, but don’t drunkenly text Zayn,” Harry pleaded.

“’m not. I’m calling him.”

Louis put the phone up to his ear and Harry could hear the faint dial tone. Without thinking twice, Harry reached over and grabbed the phone right out of Louis’ hand. He tried to flinch away, but he wasn’t quick enough.

“I need to break up with him!” Louis whined as Harry looked down at the phone to hit the end button. The screen was already dim meaning Zayn must’ve rejected the call anyway.

“You’ve already broken up,” Harry told him and tucked the phone underneath his leg furthest from Louis so he couldn’t get it.

“Give me my phone back!” Louis demanded.

“You can have it back when we get back to school, but you aren’t calling Zayn. You’ll see him on Monday if you want to talk to him so bad.”

Louis slid low in his seat to sulk like a child. Seeing him like this made Harry pity him for the first time since they met. Harry thought he knew what heartbreak felt like, but he didn’t think seeing someone go through it would look like this. Maybe it was because of his lack of self-destructive tendencies. He never had the desire to act out like this when something bad happened, but that could just be because he’s never had something hurt him as bad as this seemed to hurt Louis.

He wondered if Louis would still feel this way when he woke up tomorrow morning; if it would only get worse or better from here.

Later on, when the cab dropped them back off at the hedge around the school, Harry helped Louis out of the back seat and swung one arm over his own shoulder support him as they walked. He remembered the usual way to get back in the school after sneaking out. There was a certain zig-zagged path Louis had memorized that managed to avoid every security camera on the way to their dorm.

Instead of going through the front door of Lister Hall, they had to climb in through a window down the hall of the ground floor. Once they were inside, they tiptoed towards the stairs and managed to get to their room scot-free. The cameras down the hall would catch them, but there was no rule against being down in the common room after-hours, and to the camera that’s exactly where it looked like they came from.

Louis collapsed on his bed as soon as the door was opened. Harry had to instruct him to take off his shoes and jacket, but if he wanted to sleep in the rest of his clothes, that was up to him. Sober Louis probably wouldn’t appreciate it, but Tired Harry didn’t care. They were home alive and that was enough to allow Harry to sleep peacefully. He would deal with Louis in whatever state he was in tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

“Why are you making me do this?” Harry whined as he trudged through the grass in his old white trainers. He wore a pair of Louis’ practice shorts and a blue hoodie that had a little hole in the sleeve near his shoulder.

“Because it’ll be fun!” Louis said excitedly.

Liam was walking on the other side of him as well, holding the football against his hip.

“It’s just for fun, Harry, no one cares how bad you are,” he assured.

“I care how bad I am! None of you will want me on your team.”

“Well, good news is that Niall and I are picking teams so I can pick you first,” Louis clapped him on the back.

“Great so you’ll pick me, then Niall will pick Rob, and we’ll know right away that we’re going to get our asses handed to us.”

“You just can’t please this one, can you?” Liam looked passed Harry to ask Louis.

“Stubborn as a mule, I’m telling ya,” Louis shook his head.

Harry looked between them then back to Liam. Without a second’s warning, he grabbed the ball from Liam and sprinted forward towards the field where Rob, Niall, and Jonathan were waiting. When he was closer to them, he dropped the ball at his feet and kicked it as hard as he could, aiming for them like a pass. Instead, it soared about fifteen feet to their right.

Harry turned around and stretched his arms out in a shrug. “Still want me on your team?” he said loud enough so Louis could hear him.

“I wouldn’t dream of it being otherwise!”

When Louis and Liam caught up with the rest of them, Rob was already prepared to lay down the rules. Harry, still not the least bit thrilled to play, listened along anyway.

“Alright so Louis and Niall will pick teams. Should we do shirts and skins?” Rob asked hopefully.

“Are you crazy? Its twelve degrees outside. No one’s taking off their shirt,” said Niall.

“Fine, then what do you suggest?”

“How about we just remember who’s on our team considering there’s only going to be eight of us playing,” said Jonathan.

Harry and Louis glanced at each other, confused.

“What’d you mean eight?” Harry asked. “There’s only six of us here.”

“TJ and Zayn are coming too,” Niall nodded to the side of where they were all standing in a circle. The two of them were approaching the group, TJ with his hands in his pockets and Zayn with his arms tucked tightly to his chest.

“You couldn’t’ve picked a warmer day to do this?” TJ shouted, still a distance away.

“Come on,” Rob said, “It’s a beautiful Friday afternoon! Plus, we didn’t have a match this week.”

“I told you this was a bad idea,” Harry could hear Zayn murmur to TJ as they got closer. The comment seemed to go unnoticed by the others. He tried to pick up Louis’ reaction, who glanced at Zayn when he said it, but he didn’t seemed bothered. That, or was getting quite good at hiding it.

“Let’s get right to picking teams then, shall we?” Louis said cheerfully, waving Niall towards him so the two of them could stand at the head of the group.

Niall won the coin toss meaning he got to pick first. He of course went for Rob, and Louis chose Harry just like he said he would. Next, Niall picked Liam, whom Harry had never seen play, but if Niall was picking him second he must be at least decent. Louis’ second pick went to Jonathan practically by default since he knew TJ and Zayn were both shit at the game.

“Sorry Zayn, but I’m going to have to go with TJ,” Niall said when he made his last decision.

“So I guess that means you’re with us, Zayn,” Louis tried to smile when he said it, but Zayn wouldn’t budge.

“Great,” he said sarcastically under his breath as he traipsed towards his team. Somehow Zayn’s enthusiasm was even lower than Harry’s.

For the first round Zayn volunteered to go in net on their team and Niall was goal keeper for the opposition. They started with hardly any warning, Rob and Louis heading for the ball first. Jonathan stayed close to Louis so they could pass back and forth while Harry hung back as a self-proclaimed defender.

He tried to keep a close eye on the game and ran for the ball when it would enter their side of the field, but he was yet to touch it more than the one kick he got that actually brought it closer to his own net.

Taking pity on Harry’s lack of skill and enthusiasm, Louis kicked the ball directly to him when they were recovering from an attempt at goal. Unsure what exactly to do in terms of a plan, Harry kicked the ball forward towards the other side. It was too far for him to continue with the dribble, but he tried chasing after it anyway. He could feel Liam right on his tail, however also noticed Jonathan running beside him out of the corner of his eye. Instinctively, he pushed harder through the sprint and kicked the ball sideways towards him.

Where Harry was aiming and where the ball landed were not the same place, but it was close enough that Jonathan managed to reach it first and get their first goal of the game.

Louis ran up behind Harry and patted him on the back, beaming like he was when he scored a goal back in his first game of the season.

“See, you aren’t as bad as you thought, now, are you?” he said before jogging towards the others to join them

Harry walked back to the area he remained in as a defender before, glancing up towards Zayn as he neared him. They had been playing for almost an hour now and he had remained in net the entire time. Each player on Rob’s team had already had a turn, but for some reason Zayn didn’t feel like switching.

“Wanna swap out?” Harry called towards him, using the back of his hand to block the sun from his eyes as he approached him.

“It’s okay, I’m good here,” Zayn said, lazily jumping up to try and grab onto the top of the net that was way too far out of his reach.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind being goal keeper for a while, really. I mean I’m not great at it, but I loved doing it as a kid. If the ball wasn’t anywhere near me, I used to pick blades of grass out of the ground to tie into knots to waste time,” Harry told him, realizing after that he wasn’t exactly making a great case for himself for the job.

“If you really want to, go for it,” Zayn gave in, stepping away so Harry could take his place. “I’ll warn you right now though, Rob has a pretty hard kick.”

“Don’t worry, I probably won’t save any goals anyway.”

Zayn let out a short laugh as he walked away, pace as slow as it normally was when he walked the halls. As far as Harry could remember, he’d never actually seen Zayn ever run. He wasn’t exactly the athletic type.

When the game started again Harry made sure to stay attentive. So far, he wasn’t doing too bad overall. Maybe he’d partake in activities like this more often if his coordination wasn’t as terrible as he originally believed.

Quicker than he could’ve predicted it, Rob had started to get the ball to their side of the field. Louis was running up behind him fast. Zayn even tried to get in on it too, but in one failed attempt by Louis to kick the ball away from Rob, Louis tripped and fell backwards onto the grass. Zayn was too close behind him to stop himself and caught his foot under Louis’ shin, sending him toppling down as well.

The incident brought Harry’s attention right away from the ball and towards them. They stared at each other briefly, both with a scowl so sharp he thought lasers were about to shoot out of their eyes. As they were standing up, Harry heard someone yell his name followed by, “Look out!”

Just as he turned his head, he saw the ball coming straight for him.

Not having enough time to react, he closed his eyes and braced for impact. The rubber felt like a burning slap as it bounced off his cheek, and the force was so hard it took him right off his feet. In his left ear a ringing began to sound, but he wasn’t knocked out. He was fully aware of everyone running towards him shouting a mixture of curses and asking him if he was alright.

“I’m so sorry!” was the phrase Harry initially registered coming from Rob. Niall was the first at his side and was trying to help him into a sitting position.

“Can you hear anything? Can you see?” Jonathan asked next. Harry tried to nod his head, but the movement only made the pulsating around his eye hurt worse.

“We need to get him to the infirmary,” Liam informed the group. He was kneeled down in front of Harry and trying to analyze the damage. Harry could already feel it beginning to swell.

“I’m fine guys,” he said, trying to laugh it off even though the pain was quite significant.

“We know you’re fine, but you still need to get some ice on that,” Niall urged.

“I’ll take him,” Louis offered right away, “You lads hang back and play three-on-three. No sense in ending the whole game over a minor injury.”

Harry was already starting to stand up and Niall reached out to steady his one arm.

“You’re sure you’re all right?” Liam asked again.

“Don’t worry about me, I can handle a football to the face,” he said as Louis appeared beside him to walk back towards the buildings.

“I’m really sorry again!” Rob called after them.

“No hard feelings!” Harry shouted back with a hand still covering the left side of his face.

While they walked, Louis switched sides to Harry’s left so he could take a look at the injury. He pulled Harry’s hand slightly away from his face to see underneath and carefully lifted his chin.

“At least there’s no cut. It is quite swollen though, so it’ll probably bruise.”

“Bruise as in a black eye?” asked Harry, sounding intrigued. Louis retreated his hand.

“Probably, yeah.”

“If anyone asks, tell them I got into a fight while we were at a bar. If I’m going to be sporting a black eye then I need a cool story to go with it.”

“Should I tell them you won?”

“Yeah, but say it was a big guy and that it took the both of us to fight him off. That’ll be a bit more believable. Plus you get half the credit.”

Louis lifted the corner of his mouth and said, “I’ll take it.”

 

The following Sunday night, Harry found himself with nothing to do for the first time in weeks. He had no major tests coming up and he was five days ahead on all his homework. Books were getting a bit tiring as he just had to finish two reports in both English and History. All that left him with were movies. He and Louis had just spent the entire day watching what seemed like every movie Leonardo DiCaprio was in in the 90s. Right from _What’s Eating Gilbert Grape_ to _Titanic._

“The light from your computer screen is going to burn right through my retinas. We need to do something else,” Harry said when the credits rolled for _Titanic_. The only other movie they had watched was _The Basketball Diaries,_ but _Titanic_ made it seem like a lot more.

“We could go down to the common room,” Louis suggested, closing the lid of the laptop and rubbing his eyes while he stretched. When he had to lift his head to allow Louis mobility, that’s when Harry realized he had accidentally been using Louis’ upper arm as a pillow for the last two hours. At least Louis didn’t seem to mind.

“That’s where everyone hangs out on Sunday. It’s going to be loud and crowded.”

“We could head over to the cafeteria and I could try to schmooze the ladies in the kitchen to give us extra dessert.”

“’m not hungry,” Harry sighed.

Louis got up off the bed and took his laptop with him. He crossed the room to place it on his desk then disappeared into his cupboard next to it.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, pushing himself up the wall into a more comfortable sitting position.

“I have an idea,” Louis’ voice sounded, but he couldn’t be seen.

Seconds later he appeared through the door holding an unopened bottle of tequila in one hand and two shot glasses in the other. He wore an enthusiastic, toothy, grin and he held them up to show Harry with both eyebrows raised.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We have class in the morning,” Harry said, but Louis was already walking back towards him and setting himself up in the open space on the floor between their beds. He leaned his back up against the skirt of his own bed and waved Harry towards him to do the same.

“One shot, that’s all I ask.”

Harry wrinkled his nose up and scrunched his mouth to one side in thought. Just as Louis was about to pour the clear liquid into one glass, Harry moved forward to sit down on the floor.

“Fine, just one.”

The glass was filled so full a little bit spilled out of the sides as he brought it to his mouth. Louis widened his eyes to signal them both too down it at the same time. Never having taken a shot of straight alcohol, Harry expected it to burn. What he did not expect was how bitter the taste would be and the intense acid-like feeling of it sliding down his throat.

He scrunched up his entire body and closed his eyes tight as if the shot hurt him physically. Louis only winced slightly as he swallowed it, but when he saw Harry’s reaction, crawled towards the mini fridge to get him a chaser.

“This will help,” Louis said, holding out the mini can of Coke.

Harry cracked it open and took two large gulps like he would if he was trying to mellow the burn of a hot pepper.

“That was horrible,” Harry exhaled once he felt he had recovered. His eyes were still watering a bit.

“Usually you’re supposed to drink it with salt and lime but we had neither of those things.”

“Why was that so horrible? I thought they put that stuff in the fruity slushy drinks?”

“The fruity slushy stuff overpowers most of the alcohol taste. This, however, will get the job done much faster.” Louis poured another shot into his glass and reached for Harry’s as well before he could take it away.

“Hey, I said one!”

“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want. I’m simply giving you the option,” he said as he rested the glass back on the bit of empty hardwood floor that was between the two carpets they were sitting on.

“It’s just going to go to waste.”

“Nonsense. I’ll drink it myself if you don’t.”

Harry didn’t speak, nor move to pick up the glass. Setting aside the bottle after his second drink, Louis leaned back against the bed once more.

“Got any music to listen to?” he asked Harry, “You always study with those headphones on, you must be listening to something.”

“Oh, erm, I do, but it’s probably bands you’ve never heard of.”

Louis rolled his eyes so hard his whole head moved with them. “Don’t pull that pretentious TJ shit with me. Come on, put something on. Here, you can use the speaker.”

He stood up to press the ‘on’ button on the speaker that had been sitting on his desk all year. So far he’d only used it twice and that was to play music while they tidied the room for monthly dorm inspection. The first time they got the notice for the inspection, Harry entered the room freaking out about Louis’ stash of alcohol (and God knows what else) he had hidden in his cupboard. As it turned out, they never bothered with checking the ceiling tiles during inspection, so up there was where the bottles went.

Harry connected his phone wirelessly and hit shuffle on one of the playlists he’d listen to while doing his Trig homework. Those songs had more words in them compared to the ones he’d put on for, say, memorizing vocabulary for History.

He told Louis a few names of the bands and was surprised when he actually recognized one of them. As far as he knew, Louis wasn’t much for music except whatever was on the radio.

“So do you play an instrument yourself?” Louis asked when a second song came on. The volume low so they could easily talk over it.

“Not unless singing along in my bedroom back home counts as an instrument.”

“It does if you were any good.”

“Oh, well, I don’t even know. Performing isn’t exactly my thing,” Louis parted his lips to say something, but Harry caught it with a laugh before any words can come out. “Don’t bother trying to ask me to sing because I won’t do it.”

“Fine, I won’t ask, then,” he put his hands up in defence. “How about concerts, have you seen anyone live?”

“Quite a few artists actually, yeah. A friend from school and I used to go to concerts together all the time. How about you?”

“I’ve only been to a concert the one time. It was a festival over the summer because Zayn’s mum got free passes from the label she works for. Actually, it was one of the best times I’ve ever had. If you ever get the opportunity to go to one, do it.” Louis was staring at the ground as his spoke, voice still lively, but expression distant.

“Louis, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but why did you and Zayn keep your relationship a secret?” Harry asked timidly.

Before he answered, Louis poured himself one more half-shot. With a sigh to build up courage, Harry gave in and drank the one that had been waiting for him as well. He flinched again, making Louis crack a smile, then took a huge gulp of his pop.

“When we first got together, neither of us were out to anyone,” Louis began. “At the end of last year, I told the guys about myself when it slipped out one day and they were all cool with it. I knew they would be, it was just a matter of bringing myself to do it. Since Zayn still wasn’t ready, we had to keep going with the secret anyway. Near the beginning it was difficult because, sure, we wanted to be around each other all the time, but we didn’t want to look suspicious. Then it turned into routine and we just got comfortable with it. Zayn got a little too comfortable, I guess.”

“How do you mean?” Harry asked.

“He’s not one for attention. Quite hates it, actually. It doesn’t bother me much, but being the only child of two parents who want to show you off at every gala, party, and charity auction since birth, you get used to it.

“I didn’t mind the secret too much at first. Sometimes it felt kinda exciting sneaking around. Not getting caught turned into almost a thrill. You know, with football and my father paying for so much at this school, everyone seems to think they know everything there is to know about me. It was nice to have that one little thing to myself. Or ourselves, I guess.”

Louis paused like he was finished with his story, but it was only to add a bit more to his glass. Harry reached his arm out for another round as well while asking, “Then what went wrong?”

“I think we just got stuck. Zayn was still content with no one knowing, not even his own parents. From there we couldn’t get any more serious than we already were. The more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t think I wanted to anyway. It’s hard to keep such a big part of your life a secret forever.”

“So you think you’re better off as just friends?”

“More or less. I don’t know if I’d exactly call us friends right now, but I think we’ll get back to that point. I mean, we hang out with the same people so it’s kind of hard to consistently avoid each other,” Louis let out a bit of a laugh.

How he could bounce back so quickly, Harry didn’t understand. When he and his not-really-boyfriend ended things he took weeks, if not months, to feel back to normal. Then again, Louis could just be a lot better at hiding his emotions. Harry wondered how he would handle a real break-up and if he could be this calm.

“Alright, now that I got that off my chest,” Louis sat up a bit straighter and added more energy to his voice, “It’s your turn.”

“My turn for what?”

“To get something off your chest. You know, vent about something that’s been on your mind.”

“I guess my university application has been stressing me out a bit.”

“Alright, perfect, go on.”

Louis moved to lay down on his side and propped his head up on one elbow. He tried to drink another half-shot, but most of the contents of the glass when down the side of his cheek and he had to wipe it off with the back of his hand.

“Well, you know, Oxford is one of the top schools in the country. The application is quite lengthy so I just have to make sure everything is perfect. I have a few other top options, but Oxford is number one.”

“Is Cambridge on that list?”

Harry pulled his eyebrows together. “Yeah, why?”

“That’s where I’m supposed to go. Both my parents are alumni so they want me to get in. I know I definitely can’t get in with my grades, but I’m sure they’ll attempt to buy my way in somehow,” said Louis, sounding defeated.

“And you’re fine with that?”

“God, no. If it were up to me, I’m not even sure I’d be going to Uni. It’s not like I have any idea what I want to do anyway.” He paused to breath a laugh and shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this about me. That’s a conversation for a different day.”

“It’s okay. I like hearing about you.”

He poured a full shot this time and did the same for Harry, wordlessly. Harry was definitely starting to feel a buzz now. More so than he had any other time he’d drank. The taste wasn’t bothering him so much anymore, but he still had to use the chaser to be able to tolerate it.

“So that’s all you’ve got? No other problems?” Louis looked up at him. He was now laying completely on his back with the glass and bottle next to his head.

“I guess I’m just not as much of a tortured soul as you are.” The mocking tone made Louis giggle, and Louis giggling made Harry giggle.

“Come on, now, you don’t feel sorry for the rich boy?”

“Feel sorry, no. Pity, sometimes.”

His own comment made Harry laugh harder so Louis grabbed a balled up t-shirt on the ground from his side of the room and tossed it at Harry’s face.

“Woah, be careful! That’s probably a thousand pounds right there.”

“Two-hundred, actually,” Louis quipped.

The first playlist had just come to an end introducing them once again to a room of silence. Harry didn’t bother getting up to turn on another one. At this rate, if he was getting up it would be to brush his teeth so he could go to bed. He wasn’t sure how much he had to drink at this point, but his head was definitely starting to spin.

Mindlessly, he reached up and touched his bruised eye that he could see when he found himself glancing at the full-length mirror on the wall. The colouring was still pretty dark around his cheekbone, but it had heeled quite a bit since it happened.

“Does your eye still hurt?” Louis asked when he noticed what Harry was doing.

“Not so much anymore. Just if I poke at the bruise,” he said, demonstrating the motion as if Louis would feel the pain himself.

“We could get Rob back for that, you know,” Louis said intriguingly as he sat back up, “I actually came up with the idea yesterday.”

“I don’t need to get him back for anything. It was just an accident,” Harry assured.

Louis paused for a moment, thinking.

“What if I said I needed to get Liam back for something? Would you help me with that instead?”

“Depends on what it is.”

He poured another shot for them each, insisting Harry take it before they began the task. Louis then stood up, picked up his phone that was on the floor next to him, and told Harry to follow him out the door.

As soon as he stood up Harry felt his entire body flush. When he tried to take the first step, he almost lost balance completely and had to grab onto the corner of his headboard for support. This had to be what being drunk felt like and he was not sure how much he liked it.

“C’mon, we need to head down to Niall and Jonathan’s room first,” Louis said in a hushed voice as they neared the stairwell. The room they were heading to was only one floor below them, and Harry had to hold hard onto the bannister as they walked down.

When they reached the door, Louis knocked hard on it three times. Niall answered right away, dressed only in pants and a t-shit like he was about to go to bed.

“What could you possibly need at eleven o’clock at night?” Niall groaned.

Louis pushed the door open a bit more so he could see Jonathan who was sitting up in his own bed and holding a computer in his lap.

“Good, you’re both awake. How easy would you say it is for five guys to carry a mattress holding one sleeping person on it down four flights of stairs?”

“Dude, your breath smells horrible of booze,” Niall pointed out, waving a hand in front of his face.

“I’d say pretty easy as long as you don’t wake the person,” replied Jonathan, looking over his screen.

“And what would you say the probability is of Liam being asleep right now?”

“One hundred percent. I think his bedtime is about nine thirty,” Niall laughed, realizing now what Louis had in mind.

“Perfect. Follow me, lads,” Louis instructed, pulling out his phone to send a text message as he walked out of the room and back towards their own floor.

Readily, Niall followed directly behind him while Harry waited for Jonathan to close his computer and grab a shirt off the floor to pull over his head.

Back when he first arrived at Rockcrest, there was no way Harry would be participating in something like this. To begin with, Liam was their prefect so their chances of getting detention were pretty much guaranteed. He realized early on that Liam wouldn’t go easy on his friends after he caught Louis and Niall smoking near a window in the common room last month, and gave them two detentions each. Why Louis, arguably the most recalcitrant kid Harry had met at this school, would be friends with someone who had the power to give out punishments for breaking the rules, Harry had no idea. There was still a lot about Louis that Harry didn’t understand.

Out in front of Liam’s dorm stood Rob, waiting for them with his large arms crossed and a goofy smile as soon as he caught sight of the four of them.

“You’re lucky he sleeps like he’s dead,” Rob whisper-yelled once they were in ear shot.

He opened the door for them to file in. The lights were all off so the only way they could see Liam was because of the hallway light. Harry noticed right away how spotless Rob and Liam’s dorm was. If only Louis had that same cleanliness quality about him.

“Louis originally wanted to do this to you, you know,” Harry said to Rob cheekily as he walked by him.

“Really? I’m twice his size, he should know better.” He said it loud enough so Louis could hear and comically puffed out his chest.

Louis rolled his eyes. “The steroids have been working great, I see.”

“You wish,” Rob retaliated and Harry couldn’t stop himself from snorting at the weak comeback.

“Are we going to do this, or what?” Niall said, climbing around to one side of the bed so he could grab a corner.

In the centre of the bed, Liam lay on his stomach with both arms folded under his head. His mouth was open and the slightest hint of a drool stain was just under the corner of it on his pillow. Louis, Niall, Harry, and Rob each positioned themselves at one of the corners to lift. Jonathan, knowing himself to be the smallest, stood near the entryway, ready to open and close the doors as they maneuvered the mattress across school grounds.

Since the mattress was only twin sized, it was just narrow enough to fit through the doorway with only a slight squeeze. The stairwell proved more difficult with Rob and Harry trying to be the ones to walk backwards down the stairs since they were tallest and keeping the mattress horizontal was key.

They tried not to say a word as they took each careful step, but Liam’s snoring was growing louder. Eventually, Harry couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore when a particularly loud snore echoed through the corridor. Harry’s outburst caused Louis to crack-up as well. Liam stirred slightly at the noise and they all froze.

“Shh! We’re so close, we can’t wake him now,” Jonathan stressed as he held the door open at the bottom of the stairs.

After a few seconds had passed and agreeing nods were exchanged they decided it was safe to continue.

The cool October air was something they had completely forgotten about until they were outside the main doors of Lister Hall. The temperature was warmer than usual, but whether it was enough to keep Liam sleeping through the night, they weren’t sure. But they came this far, so they weren’t backing out now.

Slowly, underneath a tree and beside one of the benches donated by rich alumni, they lowered Liam’s mattress onto the ground. The grass was still quite wet from the sprinklers even though they had turned off ages ago. Once the mattress seemed settled, the group stepped back to admire their work.

“He is not going to be happy when he wakes up tomorrow,” Rob sighed.

“No,” Niall snickered. “He sure won’t be.”

“He might try to kill us,” Jonathan added.

“If his greatest weapon is detentions, then I think we’re safe,” said Louis.

“Fine by me. Just a different place to study.”

The other four looked at Harry disconcertingly, but Harry didn’t seem to notice until they broke off to laugh to themselves and turned back towards the doors.

“And you were doing too well!” Louis said dramatically.

“When is the kid ever going to take a break?” Rob asked no one in particular and reached out to mess up Harry’s hair.

“Hey,” Harry said dryly, “Watch the eye.”

 

Through the curtains on the window in front of him, the glare of the sun felt piercing on Harry’s eyes as soon as he attempted to open them. The first thing he wondered, as he regained consciousness, was why no one closed the blinds before they went to bed. The second was why he was waking up facing a window when he was usually facing the door.

The last thing he remembered from the night before was walking back into the dormitories with the other guys, then there was foggy memories of celebratory tequila for a successful prank, and the rest was only coming to him in patches. Inside his mouth was dry and tasted horribly bitter. Even the slightest movement revived a throbbing in his head. This, he figured, must be what a hangover is.

Sitting up, he realized he was in Louis’ bed. That would be concerning if it wasn’t for the fact that Louis was sound asleep in Harry’s bed across the room. How they messed that up, he had no idea. He turned to the side to check the clock and it read 9am. That meant Harry was already missing his first class, but how his entire body was feeling made him care a lot less about that than he normally would.

Standing up ever so slowly, Harry decided his next goal would be to get a bottle of water from the mini fridge across the room and find some pain killers for his head. His body was stiff as he moved, but he still managed to find one of the two remaining waters and chugged half the bottle in one go. Good thing there was still another left because if Louis felt as awful as he did when he woke up, he was going to need it.

Turning back around to go back to bed, Harry noticed a small piece of paper had been slid under the door. He stepped towards it to pick it up and recognized the official looking format right away as he read over it. When he got halfway through, he picked up a pillow off the bed he was just sleeping in and tossed it at Louis.

“Louis, wake up!” Harry shouted, a sudden panic in his voice.

Louis responded with only a groan.

“I’m serious, wake up now!” He said again.

“Whatsgoingon?” Louis mumbled incoherently.

“Headmaster Finch needs to see us in his office in ten minutes. We have to hurry!”

Harry was scrambling to piece together something remotely presentable to wear. He knew the probable reason they were getting called to the headmaster’s office couldn’t be good, but he didn’t want to make this any worse for himself.

“You know it’s just going to be to assign us detentions, right?” Louis said, getting out of bed sluggishly. “Wait, why am I in your bed?”

“I don’t know, but I woke up in your bed,” Harry said as did up the button on his jeans and picked up a pair of shoes. “Detentions or not, we shouldn’t be late.”

“Alright, alright, I’m getting up.”

The pace Harry took as they crossed the grounds was on the borderline of a jog. Louis struggled to keep up with him, more because he didn’t care to be on time anyway. Harry had never been called to the headmaster’s office and only met him a couple of times. Once was during his tour of the school last year when he first applied for the scholarship, and the second was when Liam introduced them on his first day so he could be properly welcomed to the school.

“Fuck,” Louis said as he ran a bit to catch up, “It’s Monday.”

“So?” Harry responded irritably.

“Uniforms, Harry, we forgot to wear our uniforms!”

Harry stopped and looked up and down at Louis, then down at himself. They were both dressed in normal t-shirt and jeans, casual as ever.

“Fuck!” Harry repeated. “What are we supposed to do?”

“Well, it’s too late to go back and change. We’ll just say that we’ve both been feeling ill so we weren’t even planning on going to class today. He might send us to the infirmary, but we aren’t exactly lying.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s good.”

“Just let me do all the talking when we get there, yeah?”

Sitting in the waiting area was growing hard on the nerves. Niall, Jonathan, and Rob were already in the chairs when they arrived, looking as unconcerned as Louis seemed to be since he woke up. At least they were wearing their uniforms. Maybe this is the new approach Harry should take to life. Not caring about consequences for his actions and accepting any results as they come. But he knew that was impossible. It just wasn’t how his brain worked.

“Headmaster Finch is ready for you now,” the small, red haired secretary said as she returned to her desk.

Harry tailed the group as they entered the office. Liam wasn’t there like Harry had expected, then again maybe he wasn’t as mad about the joke as he had assumed he would be.

They each took a seat at one of the dark leather chairs that were set up in front on the large mahogany desk. A nameplate on the front read “Headmaster K.W. Finch” in large letters. Harry wondered what the K.W. stood for.

Headmaster Finch wasn’t a tall man, but made up for it around his waist. His hair was thin and balding making the dyed black colour serve little-to-no purpose. The lines around his mouth and on his forehead were deep crevices and his mouth was turned down in a permanent frown. That wasn’t to say that he was known to be a grumpy man. In fact, he was fairly well-liked by his students. His appearance would say otherwise, but that was just how he maintained the aura of intimidation.

“Good morning, boys,” Finch said, surprisingly cheerily.

“Good morning,” they said together with much less enthusiasm.

“Let’s get right to it, shall we? I assume you all know why I called you in here. You seemed to have had quite the night last night.”

“It was a blast,” Louis said sarcastically. Harry, who was sitting on the end next to him, moved quickly to subtly hit the side of his leg.

“Ah yes, Mr Tomlinson. You were the ringleader again, I assume? Quite the interesting stunt you came up with this time. I have seen it a couple of times, but not since you’ve been here. Did your father teach that one to you?” He laughed to himself, “I’ve set it before, but you’re just like him when he was your age.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Louis said bitterly. The comment was met with an uncomfortable silence as all eyes briefly turned to him.

“Very well,” Finch cleared his throat. “While this little prank was quite harmless, I can’t pretend that I condone this type of behaviour at Rockcrest Academy. We hold a very high standard for our students, and that does not include dragging the mattress of our peers out on the courtyard while they are asleep. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” they all said in unison, except Louis who said a harsh “sure” instead. His eyes were staring at the ground and his expression looked unimpressed.

“And Louis, I’ll be sure to send the bill for a replacement mattress to your father. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear about how you’ve been doing so far this term.”

“Can we go now?” Louis asked, ignoring the previous comment.

“Hold on, I haven’t even given you your punishment yet,” Finch continued, hands folded together as they rested on his desk. The Rolex he was wearing peeked out from underneath the sleeves of his suit jacket. “You will all serve a two hour detention after school tomorrow evening from four until six.”

“Wait, but that’s during practice!” Rob said. Both Niall and Louis leaned forward in their seats looking just as concerned.

“Then I’m afraid you’ll have to let Coach Evans know that you’re going to miss it.”

“But-” Niall began.

“That’s all. You may go to your second period class. Except for you, Louis. It’s school policy to wear uniforms on Mondays. Go change first.”

They all started to get up to leave, feeling much glummer than before. Harry was confused for a moment as to why Finch didn’t tell him to go change, until he was stopped just before leaving the office.

“Can I have a word with you, alone, Mr Styles?” He asked.

“Oh, um, yes. Of course,” Harry said, returning to a seat that was directly in front of Finch.

He waited until all of the others were out of the room before he spoke. Harry looked back to meet Louis’ eyes, but he was already gone.

“I understand that you’re here on an academic scholarship, is that correct?” asked Finch, looking down at a piece of paper in front of him.

“Yes,” Harry said proudly.

“I’ve also heard you’re planning on applying to both Oxford and Cambridge, correct again?”

“Yes, but Oxford is my first choice.”

“So explain to me, then, what exactly is going on with you.”

“I’m sorry?” Harry asked, suddenly confused.

“It says here you’ve got some of the top marks in the country, perfectly clean school record, and were highly involved in school activities in your last school. Today, you show up in my office to receive a detention for misbehaviour with a bruised eye, no school uniform, and it says here that you didn’t show up for your first period class.”

“Well, sir, I-”

“Listen, Harry, I know you’re an intelligent young man. You have a bright future ahead of you and everyone around here knows that,” he said wholeheartedly. “Only a very few number of students from Rockcrest tend to get into Oxford a year, and I’m ready to write that recommendation letter for you. I don’t want to see you do something to mess that up.”

“I promise you, I won’t. Nothing like this will happen again, I can guarantee it. My marks haven’t gone down, so I hope you’ll see that same effort reflected in my behaviour,” Harry said fervently.

“I hope you’re right. Maybe watch out who you hang out with from now on. Especially that Tomlinson boy. He’s been nothing but trouble since he started here. You should focus more on your studies, than anything.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry responded without thinking about it.

“Very well. You may go. Please make sure to change into your uniform before attending your next class.”

“I will, sir. Thank you.”

Harry couldn’t have been more relived to get out of that room. Whatever Finch was trying to get through to him sounded like the reality check that he didn’t exactly want. Who was he to say who Harry should be hanging out with, especially if his course work wasn’t suffering because of it? He wasn’t planning on changing around his friend group any time soon, but he still had to take into account who was going to be signing that recommendation letter.

Walking along the paths to head back to his dorm, Harry caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of a window. Dark circles surrounded the parts of his eyes that weren’t already bruised and his hair was dishevelled. Even his shirt was inside out, making him look a right mess. The only way he could look worse is if he rolled around in the mud before entering Finch’s office. Maybe he really was in need of that reality check after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight **sexual content warning** for the end of this chapter, but nothing is described in detail and it’s mostly implied.

“You are complete assholes, all of you!” Liam said, slamming his tray down on the cafeteria table for lunch. The anger in his voice did not replicate that of the amused grin on his face which he was trying to get rid of. Following the comment was snickering between the boys, most notably Louis.

“Come on, now, wasn’t it nice to wake up in nature? The sun basking on your face and the cool breeze filling your lungs,” said Jonathan, dramatically closing his eyes and swaying side to side in his seat.

“It was more like waking up to a couple of year nine kids laughing at me from five feet away. Which ones of you were in on it?” he looked around the table suspiciously, eyes landing and narrowing on TJ.

“Don’t look at me, man. I wish these guys woke me up to be part of this. Why didn’t you, anyway?” TJ leaned over the table to ask Louis, already knowing he was the one who came up with it all without even being told.

“You were on the top floor and Harry and I only needed two people to help,” Louis shrugged. “Rob was a requirement because he rooms with Liam.”

“So you two are conspiring together now, eh?” TJ pointed his fork between Harry and Louis who were conveniently sitting next to each other. “This is the new duo we have to watch out for?”

“Oh, I don’t think-” began Harry.

“No, we all get it. Being roommates with this guy makes it almost impossible not to get up to no good. Ask Zayn, over there. They roomed together in, what was it-” TJ looked at the two of them.

Zayn was seated at the far end near Niall. His eyes went wide for a moment and the piece of food he was chewing on got caught in his throat as he tried to swallow.

“Year ten, right?” TJ finished, ignoring Zayn’s coughing fit.

Louis did a lot better job as looking unbothered by the statement. He picked up his sandwich and said, “Yeah, year ten,” before taking a bite.

“That was when they got suspended for wrapping Finch’s car in toilet roll. They didn’t bother fencing off the car park before then. I’m telling ya, the old man loves a good laugh, but not when it’s at his expense.” TJ told the memory with a smirk.

Back at the other end, Zayn was gulping down water after just dislodging the bit of bread that he couldn’t get down. Niall was trying to pat him on the back and ask if he was alright, but he only shooed him away.

“I didn’t know you were roommates,” Harry found himself saying without really meaning to. The questioned sounded like it was meant for the table, but he aimed it mainly at Louis.

“Well, yeah, we’ve all swapped around roommates a few times through the years,” answered Rob.

TJ added, “The only ones that don’t separate are Niall and Jonathan and that’s because they’re the only ones who can stand living with each other.”

An offended looking Niall threw back a “hey!” while Jonathan stuck up his middle finger as he took a sip of his drink.

“So let me get this straight,” Liam spoke up, once again focused on the topic of the prank that was pulled on him, “All of you were in on it except TJ?”

“And Zayn,” TJ pointed at him with his thumb. He still hadn’t said a word during the whole meal.

“Alright, good to know,” Liam nodded.

“Why? Trying to plan how you’re going to get us all back?” Louis raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I am.”

Louis leaned forward and narrowed his eyes.

“I’d like to see you try.”

 

After Chemistry the following day, Harry headed straight for the library to study instead of being tucked away at his desk in the dorm. It had been a few days since he’d last been to the library, longer than usual between visits. He missed the old building with its smooth musty scent and an almost medieval-like charm.

While the whole school itself had been quite old, the library was the only building to not have gone through interior renovation. How it looked now was the same as how it looked to the students who studied there during the turn of the twentieth century. Those people wouldn’t even be alive today. Harry wondered what great things they must’ve achieved after leaving the school. He wondered what great things _he_ would achieve after leaving the school.

The library was always the busiest directly after class from students wanting to be done with their homework as soon as possible. That was why Harry tended to avoid it during those few hours before dinner. He wasn’t so bothered by it today, however. Except when a year eleven boy approached him with a strangely excited look in his eye.

“You’re Harry, right? One of the guys that pulled that prank with Tomlinson yesterday?”

Harry took a step back, confused by the question. Also because of the fact that he had never heard of Louis being called be only his last name.

“Yeah, how did you-”

“The whole school’s been talking about it. It was brilliant, really! We can’t wait to see what you and Tomlinson come up with next.”

The boy seemed very enthusiastic and Harry wasn’t exactly sure how to handle the interaction. The prank on Liam wasn’t meant to be a big production, it was just a few guys messing with their friend.

He thought maybe this was what Louis meant about the whole school thinking they knew him. They looked to him for entertainment, whether it was on the football field or letting out a one-liner in class. It had turned into an obligation, perhaps one he didn’t even want to begin with.

“Well, we’ll see,” Harry said with a forced smile just to humour the boy. They had no plans of another stunt any time soon, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Great! See you around, Harry,” the boy patted his shoulder as he left and Harry realized he never caught his name. Not that he really cared to, anyway.

As he neared the tables, Harry remembered once again the downside of going to the library right after class: no free tables. At least, none that he could have only to himself. There were a few with only one person at them that probably wouldn’t care if Harry asked to use the seat diagonal from them, but he wanted to be completely by himself.

Then he noticed Zayn as one of these lone people sat at a table. He was studying Chemistry as Harry could tell from the textbook cover, which was exactly what he came there to do as well since they were just assigned a quiz for the next day. If he had to share with anyone, it might as well be someone he’s friends with.

“Mind if I join you?” Harry asked. He pulled out the chair across from Zayn before he was given an answer.

“I guess not. Here for Chem review?”

“As I see you are, as well,” he motioned to the notes in front of Zayn.

“My mark is so close to where I want it. Not that this quiz will do much, but every bit counts at this point.”

“I can help if you’d like. I did offer at the beginning of the year and you’re yet to take me up on it.”

“Are you sure I’m not a lost cause? You’ve had to work with me all year, you’d know.”

“Hey, if I can tutor Louis, I’m sure I can tutor you.”

As soon as he said it he swore he felt a gust of cold air blow through the room. Almost like a ghostly presence. He meant it as a joke, but forgot for a moment who his audience was.

Zayn cleared his throat, not making eye contact as he spoke. “He told you about us already, right? Like, what happened?”

“Yeah, no, he did. I didn’t mean anything by it, it was a poor example,” Harry shook his head.

“No, s’alright. Did he tell you the whole story of why things ended?”

Harry was put off slightly by Zayn’s tone. The sudden eagerness to discuss a topic that previously seemed almost taboo was not expected. Harry decided the best bet was to go along with it, sharing as few details of what he knew as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was get involved in whatever conflict had stemmed from their break-up.

“Sort of, yeah. Something about being tired of keeping the secret, I think,” Harry shrugged, pretending not to care.

“Did he tell you the part about him wanting to blab it to the whole school after you found out? Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you. He just didn’t care how I felt about it at all, you know?” He dropped his head and sighed, the majority of his anger seeming to leave with the breath. “You weren’t the only one who knew about us. Patrick knew as well. It was kind of impossible for him not to. But I didn’t have to worry about him telling anyone. When you found out, it made me realize how easy it was for other people to as well. I guess I knew it was never going to work out between us, but I just wanted to try. I wanted him to try too, but he couldn’t without a change that I just wasn’t ready for.”

“That’s fair that you weren’t ready,” Harry simply said.

“It is?”

“Of course it is. Your feelings are valid. Just like his are for being upset that you refused to make a change that he felt necessary. Can I tell you a personal story?” Harry leaned in closer to ensure the conversation would remain only between them.

“Yeah, go for it.”

“A while back I was in a relationship- well, not really a relationship- with a guy who I later realized didn’t give a shit about me. We never went out in public together and we never considered ourselves to be more than friends-with-benefits. I don’t even know if I would’ve even considered us friends, at first. But there were benefits- kind of. You probably already guessed it, but this guy wasn’t out. In fact, he was so far in the closet that we didn’t even kiss until we, uh- well, later on.”

Zayn’s expression hardened.

“You’re not implying that-”

“No, I’m not saying that’s what the dynamic was like between you guys. What I’m saying is that there was no future there. We had fun, even started acting like a couple when we were alone, but it wrecked me knowing that it we couldn’t actually be together. I always held onto a glimmer of hope that something might come from it and one day he’d be ready, but I also knew that wasn’t going to happen. I eventually said I’d had enough and ended things.”

It was Harry’s turn to sigh.

This was only his second retelling of the story. The first was to his sister, but he lied and told her he was a boy from school. He wouldn’t say any names, but had to talk to someone about how horrible he was feeling and Gemma was always there for him. What she wanted to do was march over to this guy’s house and break his knee caps, but instead she sat there with Harry and listened and told him that everything was going to be okay. Maybe not the most insightful words of consolation, but sometimes, when you’ve been suffering so long in silence, you just need someone to let you know that everything is going to be okay.

“I have no hate towards him, though,” continued Harry, pulling himself out of his thoughts. “I hope he’ll eventually come to terms with himself and find happiness elsewhere. Maybe I even helped him with that, who knows? The point is, I was at a dead end. Well, I think I kind of started there and hung around for too long. But you reached yours slowly and did the right thing when you did. I wouldn’t beat yourself up to hard about it, or him for that matter.”

“I don’t hate Louis either.” They were both speaking just above a whisper, hoping no one would overhear. “I want him to be happy, whoever he’s with. I just know it can’t be with me.”

“And did you tell him that?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should. Get some closure, you know?”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Zayn told him and Harry only nodded, not really wanting any pity. He’d already dealt with everything and processed it all. Gemma was right, he was okay.

Zayn looked away thoughtfully for a moment. The pause gave Harry a chance to check the time on his phone.

“Shit, I’m going to be late.” He moved quickly to collect his books. “Can we take a rain check on that studying? Does lunch tomorrow work for you?”

“Uh, sure. Where are you going?”

Harry looked up and smiled, oddly proud even though he really had no reason to be.

“Detention.”

 

As the weeks continued on and they got closer and closer to the winter holidays, Harry found himself getting more and more stressed. This happened every year and only got worse as his coursework got more difficult because the end of term meant exams. These exams were the most important he’d take before university. They were the first to be submitted on his application, therefore the first impression the schools would get from him.

He had to do well.

No, he had to do the best.

During these few weeks Harry lived at the library. Since there was no avoiding how busy it would get, he sucked it up and went directly after classes anyway, staying right until he noticed people were leaving to head to the dining hall for dinner. Sometimes Harry would even forget about dinner all together and one of the guys would have to track him down just to make sure he didn’t get too carried away and didn’t eat at all. Texting him a reminder wasn’t an option. He wouldn’t even turn the first page of a textbook before switching the mode on his phone to ‘do not disturb.’

Of course, Harry wasn’t the only person stressed about exams at Rockcrest. The rest of his group of friends had suddenly lessened their time together to make more time for studying. Even Louis managed to drag himself along to the library when Harry insisted he find a less distracting place to study than their dorm. With that said, Harry refused to sit at the same table as him unless he needed help. While the occasional goofing off during this time was pretty much unavoidable, they did get plenty of work done. Much more than Harry expected- and much more than Louis wanted- to get done to begin with.

When exam week finally came to an end and students found themselves collapsing in bed to sleep for days or attempting to come down from a caffeine high, winter break could finally begin. Most students waited until the Sunday after exam week to head home to give themselves a day or so to recharge, which is exactly what Harry and Louis were doing. Although Harry’s reasoning was so he could go out with Sean one more time while he was still in London before Christmas. Louis’ stemmed more from the dread of having to leave his friends and where he grew to feel most comfortable.

While they had only gone on a few dates, Harry was already speaking about Sean like he was his boyfriend. If they weren’t seeing each other in person they were texting, and if they weren’t texting they were talking on the phone or over video chat.  They hadn’t exactly had “the talk” yet since Harry still wasn’t sure how to bring it up, but it was pretty clear they were on the same page. It was just a matter of making it official, whatever that meant. Harry really had to figure out how all this relationship stuff was supposed to work.

Louis agreed to once again drive Harry to his date. This would be the fifth one he’d be driving Harry to, and managed to not have any more incidents since the first time. Harry was still quite shook up about almost getting side-swiped when he accidentally pulled out in front of that car. He wasn’t sure when the next time he’d get behind the wheel would even be. Hopefully, he’d at least have a license of some sort by then.

“It’s been a while since the last time we’ve seen each other. How did your exams go?” Patrick asked cheerily as he glanced at Harry and Louis in the rear-view mirror. They were in the middle of their usual drive to Louis’ house to pick up the car.

“Quite alright, I think,” Harry replied, rubbing his hands on his knees. “It’ll be a few weeks before results come in, but I’m pretty confident.”

“You should be,” Louis piped up. “You probably spent six hours studying a day. If you didn’t get in the top three for marks at the very least, I swear I’ll…” he looked around for an idea to finish his sentence, then down towards the ground. “I’ll eat my own shoes.”

“That sounds like it’ll be quite chewy,” Harry said.

“A bit hard to get down, I’d assume,” added Patrick.

“Well,” Louis shrugged, “You better be in the top three then.”

“How about you, Louis?” Patrick asked again, “How do you think you did?”

Louis sighed and looked out the window for a moment across the dark road.

“Not too bad, I suppose. Harry helped quite a bit so better than I would’ve done I’m sure.” They made brief eye contact when the comment made Harry smile. “Probably not top half, but hopefully top three-quarters. As long as it’s not last, I’ll take it.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, mate. I’m sure you did just fine,” Patrick said sternly. This was something odd Harry noticed about the dynamic between Louis and Patrick. Patrick was far older than Louis. Could be his dad, easily, but he treated Louis like a friend. Didn’t refer to him as “sir” or “Mr Tomlinson” in conversation either. Even with Harry he still slipped in an occasional “sir” until Harry told him it was unnecessary. It was odd to be called “sir” by someone so much older than you. What did Harry do to earn that type of acknowledgment so young? Just ‘Harry’ was all he asked for.

“We’ll see then, I suppose. I’ll let you know what I got when the marks come in. I’m not sure if it’ll be before Christmas.”

“Speaking of Christmas, did you boys have any plans?”

“Just spending time at home back up north,” said Louis glumly, “Real exciting.”

“Same goes for me. I’m going to see my mum and sister, maybe some other relatives. How about you?”

“Watch the kids open presents, eat too much food that the Mrs. makes, and drink too much eggnog with my brother. You know, the usual stuff,” Patrick smiled proudly.

“That reminds me, Harry, I was going to ask you about coming to visit for a few days between Christmas and New Year’s,” Louis turned to Harry to mutter. He wasn’t whispering but Patrick could probably barely hear the words. Not that they had anything to keep from him.

“Visit where?”

“My house up in Doncaster. I told mum and dad about you a bit and they want to meet you. Told me to invite you over during the break if you’d like.”

It didn’t take Harry much time at all to come up with an answer.

“That sounds really nice, I’d love to.”

He’d figure out the details later. His own mum would be thrilled just that he’d made friends at Rockcrest, so it wouldn’t take much convincing from her. Gemma might not be too pleased about the shortened visit since she made him promise to come home as often and as long as he could, but she’d understand, even though Harry was still yet to visit home once so far. There was just so much to keep up with. So much work that needed to be done just so he could stay ahead.

For this weekend, a film was to be added to Sean and Harry’s date night, which usually just consisted of going either going out for dinner or staying in at Sean’s apartment. Louis wasn’t the keenest on how long he’d have to be out just so he could drive Harry home, but ensured Harry that it was alright anyway. After all Harry had done for him during exam preparation, he couldn’t exactly say no.

Louis’ plans to keep himself occupied for the evening were a little more dangerous than usual. Not in terms of being physically hazardous, this was more about self-control. It had been far too long since Louis had been to a proper club. The only person he could usually convince to go out with him to a club was Niall, and the two of them hadn’t even snuck out once together this year yet. Whenever he went out with Zayn it was mostly just to park the car somewhere or maybe get some food. Then with Harry he hadn’t even bothered suggesting a club, nor was he sure he trusted Harry to behave himself in one. Sober Harry was cautious as ever, but Drunk Harry was a total loose cannon.

After wasting as much time as he could hanging around a late-night diner and getting over halfway through _Fight_ Club, the book Harry kept insisting he finish, he figured it was now or never. As he approached the entrance to the club, in order to refrain from danger, he promised himself he’d only have one drink. He wasn’t going to make Harry drive them home this time, not again. He could prove he could be responsible. As responsible as one could claim to be after sneaking out of their boarding school to use a fake ID to get into a club and order a drink.

To him, 9pm still seemed a bit early to go to a club. It was right when most people wanted to arrive, so it wasn’t great for blending into a crowd. Not to mention that he was already going alone, which would look odd until he found his way to the dance floor. It’s easy to look like you aren’t alone when you find a stranger to grind up against while music thumps right through to your bones.

The dance floor wasn’t jam-packed like he’d hoped, but it was getting crowded. Tonight held a different goal than usual, one that he hadn’t found himself working towards before. That meant he wasn’t exactly sure of his chances of being successful. But he was already here so dammit if he wasn’t going to try.

He headed to the bar first to get a drink and try to loosen himself up. At first he was going to order his usual simple drink, Jack and Coke, but decided to skip the Coke and ordered two shots of whiskey instead. He downed them both back-to-back and left the money on the counter. If he needed anything tonight, it was liquid courage.

Stepping down the few steps that lead to the dancefloor, Louis immediately got sucked into the flow of the people surrounding him. Everyone was so close you could hardly move an inch without touching someone. Louis never found himself to be very good at dancing, but no one cared when you were at a club. All they were focused on was either their friends, meeting someone, or getting drunk.

It wasn’t long before Louis found someone whose attention he grabbed. The boy wasn’t much taller than him, but more built as could be seen through the thin tank top he was wearing. In each ear was a small black earing and his dark fringe was slicked back. There was no doubting that he was attractive and as shallow as it may have seemed, that’s all Louis really cared about at the moment.

No words were spoken between them as they danced closer. Even if they tried to speak, they’d have to shout just to hear each other over the music. All personal space was lost when the boy smirked and placed his hands on Louis’ waist. Their chests became aligned and Louis could feel the boy’s breath on his neck. His skin was warm and smooth when Louis touched it, then retreated slightly to tease him. As song after song passed, it was getting harder to ignore what he could feel pressing against his leg.

“Want to get out of here?” Louis heard the words being purred into his ear followed by lips brushing faintly over his neck.

“Very much so,” Louis leaned into him to say, still speaking near a yell.

“Bathroom?”

He nodded.

Louis left the dance floor first so it wouldn’t look as suspicious as if they both went to the bathroom together at the same time. It was near the back of the club and he was surprised to not see anyone else inside when he walked through the door. He took a step forward towards the mirror first to get a glance of himself. His hair was still fine, looking as unkempt as he intended it to, except for the bit of sweat near his temples and along his forehead that he wiped away with the back of his hand. What he was wearing wasn’t much different than what he normally wore, only instead of just a t-shirt he had an undone button-up hanging from his shoulders. He wondered if he should get rid of it beforehand just to make things easier.

He wondered if he should just leave right now and make things easier.

There wasn’t any notice when the boy from the dance floor walked in. As soon as he caught sight of Louis, he pressed their lips together eagerly and pulled him forward into a stall. Right away Louis knew it felt wrong, especially when he was turning them both around to push Louis’ back against the wall. Especially when he stuck out a hand to lock the door beside them; when he reminded himself that, for the first time, this wasn’t Zayn.

When he realized he didn’t want it to be.

But he didn’t stop it. He didn’t want to stop it.

The button on his jeans was being undone and the boy was moving lower, causing Louis to inhale a sharp breath. For a moment, he felt numb. He tried to focus on the feeling more than anything to just stop his brain from wandering, but that was something he was never able to do. His brain was built for wandering. For getting lost in places he didn’t need to be, or didn’t want to be. He wished sometimes that it was easier for it to just find its way back home.

That’s where he wished he was right now. Home.

Then came release, then moments passed that felt more like a blur, then Louis was back in his car. Waiting for Harry outside the cinema, he wished he could no longer feel traces on his skin from a name he didn’t know and a face he wouldn’t remember.

“Hey Lou!” Harry greeted cheerfully when he opened the door to the convertible.

“Hey, how was your date?” asked Louis, grinning only because Harry’s smile was so contagious that he couldn’t help it. That, and because of how happy he was to see him right now.

“Great, and the movie was fantastic too! Even Sean liked it, which is strange because he said afterwards he doesn’t normally watch a lot of movies. But you recommended it so I knew it had to be good…”

As Harry spoke with excitement gleaming in his eyes, Louis nodded along attentively. He was glad Harry’s date went well and glad that he was happy and smiling. He wished he could feel as happy on the inside as Harry looked on the outside.

Sometimes when he looked at Harry, he could almost see a glow around him. An aura of brightness that reflected his personality. Always kind, always caring, always selfless. It was hard to find a flaw in him that wasn’t overshadowed by something positive. At least, that’s how Louis saw it.

He wished he had a glow.

He tried to remember if Zayn ever had a glow.

He really wanted to go home and take a shower.


	9. Chapter 9

“I can’t believe you’ve been seeing someone for almost four months and didn’t tell me,” Gemma said in dramatic dismay. They were sat across from each other horizontally on their old sofa. Harry had only gotten home the day before and since their mum was on night shift, it gave the siblings a chance to catch up between themselves.

“I thought you might tell mum before I could! And you have to swear on your life you won’t say anything about sneaking out on weekends. Or the driver’s lesson.”

“Come off it, you know I won’t. You know too much about me; it would be too easy for you to get me back.”

“So you promise then?” he held out his pointer finger like he would for a pinky promise. The pointer finger was their version of it. Gemma saw the linking of pointer fingers done as sign language for friendship when she was a young child and thought that it made more sense than the pinkies. She taught it to Harry that way before he was even old enough for school and it just stuck.

“I promise,” she said, curling her finger around his. “So this Louis guy you keep telling me about, how did you become friends exactly?”

“I told you, he’s my roommate.”

“Yes, I know, but you aren’t obligated to be friends with your roommate. He just seems so different from you and the people you’ve always hung out with.”

She took a sip of her red wine and Harry reached forward for the glass so he could take one as well. When she poured it she offered him his own, but he refused figuring he wouldn’t like it. That was until she let him have a sip. Neither of them felt like getting up for another glass, so they settled on sharing.

“He is different, but very interesting. It’s kind of hard not to be his friend when you’re around him all the time since he’s so easy to get on with. He’s really great, I think you’d like him.”

“You’ll have to introduce us sometime.”

She paused for a moment to take another tiny sip. The light from the muted TV flashed over her face as the picture moved. They had gotten so caught up in conversation that the home renovation show they were watching had become completely forgotten.

“I think I’m going to get a refill, and you your own glass,” she stood up to cross the room towards the kitchen.

“Can you bring back a bag of crisps with you?” Harry asked after her.

He realized when his attention was brought back to the room from the conversation that the Christmas tree hadn’t been plugged in yet. The first thing they did when Harry arrived yesterday was decorate the tree. They usually had the whole house finished being decorated near the beginning of the month, but their mum and Gemma couldn’t bring themselves to do the tree without Harry around. He was glad they waited. That was one tradition he didn’t want to miss out on.

As he reached behind the tree to plug in the lights he noticed a hole in the wall roughly the size of a fist. The hole had been there for almost thirteen years now. It appeared the same day their dad left. When it happened, a young Harry and Gemma were playing upstairs in Gemma’s room. They didn’t see it, but they heard it. And the yelling. And the front door slam. He almost forgot it was there since his mum had always covered it with a framed mountain landscape photo because they couldn’t afford to get it fixed.

“Why did mum take the mountain photo behind the tree down?” called Harry. He stood back up from where he was crouched near all the cords and plug-in.

Returning to his seat with the twinkling lights now dancing around the room, Gemma came back as well with a glass of wine in each hand and the sealed bag of chips hanging from her teeth so she didn’t have to make a second trip.

She handed him the wine first before dropping the bag into his lap. “It fell a few days ago when we were setting the base of the tree up so it was ready when you got here. Haven’t had the chance to replace it yet.”

“Don’t you hate looking at it?”

“Of course I do. Not as much as mum does, I don’t think. The tree blocks it for now, at least,” she sighed into her glass before changing the subject. “I believe this is our first time drinking together, isn’t it, little brother?”

“I think so too, yes.”

“But I can tell it’s not your first drink. Did those boys at good ol’ Rockcrest corrupt you yet?”

“I don’t know if I’d say that.”

“Have you been drunk? Or at least, what a seventeen-year-old boy who’s never drank before would consider to be drunk.”

“Um, yes,” Harry smiled embarrassedly as he brought the glass to his lips to cover his mouth even though it was clear. That only made Gemma laugh.

“See, I knew that boarding school would be good for you. It may be full of rich prats, but at least they’re showing you how to be a normal kid.”

“Funny, that’s what they call themselves too. A couple of them, anyway.” Harry was reminded of his first day at school when he and Liam walked in on Louis reading a textbook upside down in a dressing gown. That was a memory he decided not to share with Gemma. He wasn’t sure that was the impression of Louis he wanted to give her.

“At least they know it.” Gemma reached forward to open the bag of crisps that Harry had been hoarding and crunched one into her mouth. “So, I have some good news.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“I’m going back to school.”

Harry’s eyes lit up at the words.

“Really?”

“It’s just a small university in town and it’ll only be part time so I can still work a bit, but I am going back. I already got early acceptance and everything. I start next fall.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His sister, one of the brightest and hardest working people he had ever met, was finally doing the thing they’d both been dreaming about doing for years. And they’d be starting in the same year as well.

Unable to come up with any good enough words, Harry reached forward and hugged her, trying his best not to spill either of their glasses.

“This is amazing, Gemma, I’m so proud of you,” Harry said brightly when he let her go.

“Aw, thanks Harry,” she grinned. “As it turns out, it kills mum to see you go off to a fancy private school while I stay home working. She practically filled out those applications herself.”

“Did she cry when you got accepted?”

“Over a plate of homemade vegetable lasagna.”

“Our favourite.”

The siblings clinked their glasses in cheers.

Harry insisted he was going to take her out for a celebratory breakfast the next day. Gemma told him this is why she didn’t want to tell him so soon, worried he and their mum might get carried away making a big deal about it. Then Harry asked about classes and they instead got carried away talking about their lives and everything that was missed through the longest time they’d ever been away from each other.

Soon it was two in the morning and their tired mother came home to find her two grown children had fallen asleep on the couch, Harry’s head rested on Gemma’s shoulder and the TV still lighting up the lounge. And as she rested a blanket across them both, she longed for the days when she could just carry them off upstairs and tuck them into bed.

 

When Louis said he’d pick Harry up from the train station the day after Boxing Day, Harry didn’t know why he expected the car waiting for him to be the same red convertible he was always used to. He supposed it was just because it was the only car he and Louis ever drove in, but then he remembered the amount of cars that were in that garage in his house just outside of London, and how many that must mean his family has at the house they actually live in.

The car Louis showed up in was a small black sports car, one Harry didn’t know the name of, nor did he really care. The only part he noticed was how much newer and shinier it was on the inside, opposed to the vintage interior of the convertible. If he could ever afford the price, and obtain a licence, this would definitely be the kind of car Harry would want.

There wasn’t as much to catch up on as Harry thought there would be after a week of the two not seeing each other. All Harry did for most of it was spend time with his family and his old school friends, which he wasn’t afraid to admit there weren’t a lot of. He really enjoyed the visit after so long of being away. He missed everyone.

Louis explained how boring it was back at home because his only friends there were the snob children of his parents’ friends. Of the many things Harry didn’t understand about Louis, one was his hatred of the upper class, which he was a part of. To most it would come off as ungrateful, and maybe it was, but Louis wasn’t unaware of his privilege. If anything, that’s what made him cynical.

The home Harry was expecting to see when Louis pulled up to the driveway was even larger and more extravagant than the London one. Instead, he felt like he was looking at the copy and pasted version. The style was the same, the long driveway, the separate building for the garage. The only difference was the amount of trees which was much less, and that he was looking at it in broad daylight, something he wasn’t used to from the London house. Mind you, he’d never even been inside that one. Louis claimed there was no point, that it might as well just be a hotel.

“I’ll give you a bit of a warning,” Louis said when he turned off the engine, but remained seated. “They’re quite proper, my parents. Mum’s a bit of a perfectionist, but not too talkative. I’m sure she’ll love you right off the bat no matter what, though. In fact, she might like you better than me.”

“You sure? I know I can match your wit, but I’m not sure about your level of charm,” Harry tried to say smoothly, but lost it in a laugh.

“Aw, that’s sweet that you think you’re as witty as me,” Louis reached out a hand and pinched Harry’s cheek with a pouty face.

“Keep that up and I might have to tell them about your secret _criminal_ record Finch has for you back at Rockcrest.”

“Anything on record that Finch knows, my dad already knows, trust me.”

“What about what Finch doesn’t know?”

“Did I forget to make you take the blood oath of secrecy like I did the others? I swore that was part of the welcome initiation at the beginning of the year,” Louis looked up thoughtfully and tapped a finger on his chin.

Laughing, Harry shooed away the gesture and continued, “Alright, so your mum will love me, what about your dad?”

“Dad is a bit of a different story. He’ll probably ask you more questions than a political press conference, but it’s nothing I know you can’t handle. If he comes off as condescending, know that it’s aimed at me because he probably wonders why someone with your brains is hanging around my group of friends.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t think that. Didn’t you tell him about your exams?”

Back on Christmas Eve, when Harry called to wish Louis a Happy Birthday, he also wanted to know about the marks they had just gotten back. Harry was proud of most of his, getting well near perfect scores, but he was even more proud of Louis. Not one mark even close to a fail. Even in Chemistry he got almost as high as Harry.

“Yeah, he was happy, I suppose. Maybe relieved would be a better word,” Louis sighed, looking out the front of the windshield where he noticed his mum waving through the upstairs window of the house. “We should probably get inside,” he said, realizing he’d never even unclicked his seatbelt.

Louis helped Harry with his bags out of the back of the car, noting that his suitcase was quite heavy for only three nights worth of clothes. Harry chose not to mention that he might’ve brought with him his Biology and Calculus textbooks to get a head start for next term. Nothing wrong with wanting to be prepared.

Walking in the front door, Louis’ mum was already waiting to greet them with a warm, somewhat motherly smile. She was a petite woman, much shorter than Louis, and had dark blonde hair that was cut into a bob and bounced as she moved. Standing on high heels, she wore a classy all-black pantsuit that wrapped around her narrow frame.

“You must be Harry!” she said once they exchanged their initial greetings.

“Very nice to meet you- erm,” Harry stuttered, unsure how to address her as he shook her delicate hand.

“Elise, but Mrs. Tomlinson is fine. It’s nice to meet you, as well. Please, come in.”

“They’re very old school, my parents,” Louis took a step closer to whisper in Harry’s ear while his mum turned around to call someone who seemed to be a housekeeper. “So few people actually call them by their first names I sometimes forget what they are myself.”

“Dinner is almost ready and Louis’ father should be home soon. Louis, why don’t you show Harry to his room, hm?”

The housekeeper Louis’ mum had called for reached for Harry’s bags, but Louis stopped her before Harry could.

“s’alright. We’ve got it,” Louis smiled at her pleasantly, holding Harry’s suitcase as he walked past her and towards the large staircase. Harry followed, taking in the openness of the way the two-story ceilings flowed so smoothly from the entry-way onto the second level. When he turned his head briefly towards the door, he noticed Louis’ mum shaking her head in defeat.

“I told mum to give you the guest bedroom right beside my room. It’s got its own bathroom and all that.” Louis explained as he opened the door and lifted Harry’s suitcase onto a queen-sized bed covered in enough pillows to probably fill the surface area of the room. Above it was a large canopy that was tied to each bed post and a TV hung from the wall across from it. “Towels should be in there when you need to shower. Feel free to use the telly if you want.”

“Wow,” the word came out involuntarily, but he continued anyway, “If this is the guest bedroom, what does the room of someone who actually lives here look like?”

“You want to see?”

Louis waved Harry forward so he’d follow him one more door down. Harry expected the way Louis opened the door to be like a grand reveal, but he just walked in the same way he probably had every day when he was living here.

The room wasn’t much bigger than the guest room, but what was strange is that you could tell because the floor wasn’t covered wall-to-wall with clothes and homework assignments that were never turned in. But of course, Harry was once again reminded of Louis’ wealth that came with housekeepers, a service that they were not given at Rockcrest.

In the corner was a mini-lounge, complete with another TV and a small leather couch and coffee table. The walls were decorated with a mixture of film posters and different football awards that were displayed neatly on top of bookshelves that actually looked to contain DVDs instead of books. All of the colours were toned to greens and browns to keep up a vintage feel.

“This is very _you_ ,” Harry said simply, still taking in the details.

“Yeah? I quite like it. I was surprised, actually, when mum let me have a say at all in what it looked like. Feels more like home than anywhere else in this house. Oh, I almost forgot…”

Louis turned towards his walk-in closet to disappear for a second, returning with a gift bag spilling over in red tissue. “I got you something.”

“Hold that thought.” In the same fashion, Harry backed out of the room to make a quick trip to the guest room, zipping open his suitcase to find the gifts he brought for Louis.

“Open this first,” he said when he returned, holding out the first smaller gift, “Happy Late-Birthday!”

With a crooked smile, Louis took the gift from his hands and sat down on the edge of his bed to open it. Harry joined him as he watched.

“ _Fight Club?_ ” Louis asked when he saw the cover of the book, meaning for it to sound more like a statement than the question it came out as.

“Yeah, when you finished it you told me how much you liked it so I thought you should have your own copy.”

“I really did love that book,” Louis mused. He looked at it admiringly for a moment and flipped through a few of the pages. Harry couldn’t read much past the smile and his tone when he said “thank you,” but he was confident that Louis liked it. “Now open your Christmas present,” Louis commanded, sliding the bag across the floor towards Harry.

Digging through the excessive amount of tissue paper Louis decided to stuff in the top, Harry spotted something that was green and looked oddly shiny.

“You didn’t,” Harry deadpanned, then pulled out two large pom-poms from the bottom of the bag.

Louis barked out a laugh.

“I told you I’d get you them for Christmas! I even made sure to get a shade of green that matched perfectly with your Rockcrest uniform.”

“Of course you did.”

“You can use them at the next football match. The guys will love it.”

“Oh, don’t think I won’t. I’m going to be the best damn cheerleader Rockcrest has ever seen.”

Harry stood up and rested his fists on his waist like he was about to start a routine, then just shook the pom-poms at his sides when he realized he wasn’t really sure what consisted of a cheer routine.

“Alright, save it for the game!” Louis said, patting the spot beside him once again. “You didn’t think that was all I got you, did you?”

Harry didn’t notice the second bag Louis had next to him, looking almost identical. He lifted it off the ground this time, even though it was noticeably heavier. With less caution this time, Harry ripped all the tissue out right from the start to reveal the gift sitting at the bottom. He looked at it in slight awe for a moment before reaching a hand down to take it out.

“That old bag you’ve been carrying around with all your books was looking kind of worn, so I thought this might work better. If you don’t like it I can exchange it,” Louis said at once. Harry was too busy exploring all the different compartments of brown leather messenger bag, focussing quite heavily on the brand name he could see clearly on the tag.

“This is a beautiful bag, Louis, but it’s too much,” Harry said, closing it back up.

“You can’t say that, you don’t know how much it is.”

“I can see the word ‘Fossil’ written on it.”

“Right, well, now you’ll fit in perfectly with the other rich prats. Trust me, Harry, it’s not too much.”

There was that phrase again. ‘Trust me.’ Louis sure did like to bounce it around a lot. Sometimes Harry wondered if he knew the meaning of it.

But in this case, Harry did trust him. Sort of.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, holding the bag close to his chest.

“You’re welcome,” Louis smiled that big smile that squinted his eyes so hard you couldn’t tell if they were even still open.

“You still have your Christmas present to open, too,” Harry informed him. This second gift was in a gift bag as well, wrapped just about as well as Louis’ gifts to Harry were with most of it being covered with only crumpled tissue.

“Now, I don’t expect you to actually wear it. I mean, you can if you want, but it’s more like a prop replica,” Harry said as Louis held an exact copy of the _Ferris Buller_ jacket in his hands.

“All these years and I didn’t even think to buy this myself!” Louis exclaimed, “This is perfect, how did _you_ even think to buy it?”

“I guess I know you better than I thought,” Harry told him. The statement was aimed partially at himself.

Saying thank you once more, Louis leaned forward and pulled him into a hug. Returning the gesture was as natural as breathing, but Harry was sure it was the first time they’d ever done it.

Louis pulled away when he heard a knocking on the open door and noticed the housekeeper from earlier standing in the doorway with a dim smile and her hands clasped in front of her.

“Dinner is ready. Your parents are waiting for you in the main dining room,” she told them.

“Thanks, we’ll be right down,” Louis said.

Harry began stuffing discarded wrapping back into the bags to tidy the mess. Taking another look at his jacket, Louis stood up to try it on. It was a perfect fit.

“Looks great on you,” admired Harry.

Louis stepped to the side to check himself out in the wall mirror. “It does, doesn’t it?”

Sitting around the dinner table, Harry instantly felt intimidated by the company in the room. Louis’ parents sat at the heads of the table and quietly sipped at the creamy soup they were served to start. Harry tried not to study Louis’ dad too closely, but there were a few things he noticed straightway. He wasn’t an old man, but his full head of hair was already almost all grey. When Harry first walked in and shook his hand, he noticed his height was exceptionally greater than Louis’. He wondered if Louis were grow to be as tall of him or if he inherited his mother’s small stature.

The only part of Louis that looked similar to his dad were his eyes. They were blue and narrow, easily crinkled with a smile. Nothing else bared much of a resemblance, not in the way they spoke or behaved. If it weren’t for those eyes, it would be hard to tell they were even related.

“So you’re hoping to be an Oxford man, are you?” Mr Tomlinson said to Harry in a gruff voice that still managed to come off a bit harmonic.

“Yeah, that’s my top choice. Cambridge is up there as well. Louis mentioned that’s where you studied.”

“He did, did he? He’s going to be attending the school as well, I’m sure.” He looked in Louis’ direction. Louis kept his eyes down on his bowl without saying anything. “Well, they’re both fine schools. From what I hear, either would be lucky to have you.”

“Thank you, sir.” Harry’s attempt at being overly polite seemed to go unnoticed by everyone but him. This must just be how they expected to always be spoken to, he supposed.

“I’d hoped a bit of you might rub off on Louis when Headmaster Finch told me about you during our weekly conference call back in September, but I’m not sure I’ve seen much progress in him yet.” The older man sighed and Louis glanced across at Harry sheepishly.

“Gerald, not now,” Mrs Tomlinson warned.

“I told you, dad, I passed all my exams this term. Harry helped me with my revisions.”

“And you repaid him by getting him and all your friends detentions with a silly prank, is that right?”

Mr Tomlinson raised his voice so Louis dropped his spoon and turned his head, trying to match the volume.

“That was over a _month_ ago. You say it like we committed a felony.”

“Ahem,” Mrs Tomlinson cleared her throat from the opposite end of the table. “We do have company, remember,” she nodded towards Harry. He glanced at her then back down to his bowl with a tight-lipped smile.

“Of course. That’s a conversation for another time, yes?” Mr Tomlinson looked around the room.

“Can’t wait,” Louis remarked. Mr Tomlinson looked like he was struggling to bite his tongue.

“Louis, did we remember to mention that your father and I are off on a business trip tomorrow? You boys will have the house to yourself for a few days,” Mrs Tomlinson attempted to change the subject.

“You didn’t, actually. How many days is a few?” Louis looked between them.

“We should be back before New Year’s Eve so we don’t have to cancel the annual gala,” said Mr Tomlinson.

“Besides, you’re nineteen now,” Mrs Tomlinson added, “We figure you can handle the house to yourself for that long.”

“I’m sure we can handle that, right Harry?”

For a second, Harry swore he heard Louis’ mum say that he was nineteen. Only, Louis just celebrated his eighteenth birthday. Right? Harry would know, Louis had the fake IDs made for them and everything. He even asked Louis if he wanted to do something special for his eighteenth, but Louis stressed again and again how much he didn’t because eighteen wasn’t special, he claimed.

Harry lifted his head and gave Louis a curious look, who returned it with raised eyebrows. Was he sure he heard that right? _Nineteen_?

“Harry?” Louis asked again, retrieving him from his thoughts.

“Oh, yes, uh, of course,” he stuttered, no longer paying attention to what he was agreeing to.

 

The next morning, Harry woke up forgetting where he was. This mostly had to do with the fact that he was used to waking up in a twin sized bed his whole life, and in this guest room he was practically swimming in the soft white bedsheets. He honestly didn’t remember the last time he slept so well in his life. Even though Harry considered himself a simple person, this was one type of luxury he could see himself getting used to.

Reaching to pick up his phone from the bedside table, the first thing Harry did was check his messages while squinting at the bight screen. Besides the one from his mum to say good morning and ask how the first day at the Tomlinsons’ went, there was a text from Louis letting him know that breakfast was ready whenever he was, and that he way already waiting in the kitchen. This had to be the first time in their four months of living together that Louis ever woke up before Harry. And the time was only 10am.

“Good morning,” Harry said over a yawn as he strolled into the large modern-looking kitchen. Everything was stainless steel or marble and some of the appliances even looked industrial sized.

Louis was sat at the breakfast bar in the middle of the room sipping on a cup of tea in front of a platter of fruit and pastries. Another cup was at the spot next to him beside a bowl of sugar and the milk.

“I see you dressed up for breakfast,” Louis said, referring to the pair of joggers and the athletic brand t-shirt that Harry threw on when he climbed out of bed. As for himself, Louis was already dressed for the day in a grey patterned jumper over black jeans.

“Where are your parents?” Harry asked and he pulled out the stool to sit on.

“Already left a few hours ago before I got up. I thought I might catch them before they headed off, but they left a nice note: “Don’t forget that the staff have next few days off,”” Louis read out loud, then flipped the note over so Harry could see. Nothing else was written on it. “Must’ve threw this together before mum let ‘em all go,” he motioned to the array of different muffins and pastries In front of them. “Help yourself, I’ve already had lots.”

Just now feeling the grumbling in his stomach just from the sight of food, Harry picked a lemon poppy seed muffin off the platter and began to peel off the wrapper.

“So what’s on the schedule for today?” he asked.

“I don’t know about you, but my adventure level is pretty low lately. I was thinking a day of video games and pizza? Maybe a few movies?”

“Sounds perfect,” nodded Harry as he went in for a second bite.

As it turned out, video games got quite boring after about four hours of Fifa and Mario Kart. As cool as it was to see the giant theatre room complete with a projector and reclining leather theatre seats, there was only so much staring at a screen that one could handle. That, and Harry was pretty tired of getting his ass kicked in every round they played. The first couple times he didn’t care, but when Louis started the trash talk was when the real competition began.

To give themselves a break, Louis suggested a drive around his hometown and to pick up the pizza themselves since it was nearing dinner time anyway. Harry was still yet to tie up the score, but agreed that they should at least move from the same spot they’d been in all day.

During the drive Louis showed him a few of the sights like the primary school he went to before his parents sent him away, and the park his nanny would take him to play at when he was a kid. All of his fond memories from childhood were in this town, but as he grew he found that the memories he was making at school, now, with his real friends, were much better.

“Louis, how come your mum said you were nineteen at dinner last night?” Harry asked out of the blue. He had just finished calling to place the takeaway order on his phone.

Louis checked all of his mirrors uncomfortably, trying to buy time to come up with a good answer, but nothing was coming to mind.

“Well, uhm, I actually am nineteen.”

Harry craned his neck forward with raised eyebrows.

“What do you mean you’re nineteen? What about the fake ID?”

“Only your ID is fake. Mine’s been real for about a year now.”

He was staring at Louis now, not any less confused.

“Why did you lie about turning eighteen, then?”

Louis inhaled a deep breath and asked, “Do you really want to know?”

Harry thought about it for a moment, dropping his gaze. He could tell be Louis’ tone that there was probably a good reason and he didn’t want to overstep.

“Only if you want to tell me,” he decided.

“No one at school knows this, but I repeated year six. I should’ve already finished school by now, so I figured it would just be easier to pretend to be the age I should be instead of explaining this to everyone.”

Harry waited through the pause, then realized that was all he had to say when he didn’t continue.

“That’s it? Louis, lots of people repeat years in primary school, it’s not a big deal.”

“Not people who go to Rockcrest,” he snapped, then retreated when he realized how harsh his tone was. “And certainly not a Tomlinson, according to my dad.”

Any time Louis brought up his dad, Harry wasn’t sure how to proceed. Whatever problem the two of them had ran deep, especially through Louis.

“He puts a lot of pressure on you to be perfect, doesn’t he?”

Louis pulled into the car park in front of the pizza place and was quick to turn off the car.

“Yeah, well, as hard as he tries to mould me into the perfect son, I’m pretty sure the clay has already dried.”

 

For most kids, when parents go away for a few days, that’s the time to throw a giant house party and trash the place with all of their friends. Standing around the breakfast bar in the kitchen with slices of pizza in one hand and vodka coolers in the other, Harry and Louis had somehow created their own party just for two. Music was blasting from the wall speakers that covered the house and Louis was trying his best, which was still terrible, to rap along to a verse from Nicki Minaj, which had Harry doubled over in laughter.

The pizza was already half gone and they were breaking into their second box of coolers that Louis bought on the way home using his apparently _real_ ID. That wasn’t even mentioning the taste test they decided to take earlier of his dad’s liquor cabinet. Louis made Harry try gin, scotch, and brandy, none of which he liked. Gin, he complained tasted like grass and claimed that he’d hate them all anyway because they were trying them without any sort of mix. Louis had grown to not be bothered by the taste and forgot Harry was still in his ‘vodka slime-phase’.

“I have an idea!” Louis announced, chewing on the crust from his pizza.

“What’s your idea?” Harry asked. He moved towards the stool to sit down and take a large swallow of his drink.

Hopping a few steps towards the window, Louis peeked through the blinds to see that it was already pitch black outside, except for their own outdoor lights. The scene on the other side of the glass was of the part of the garden that held the swimming pool.

“Let’s go swim!” he exclaimed, turning back around to face Harry.

Harry pulled his eyebrows together. “But there’s snow on the ground.”

“Doesn’t matter, the pool is heated.”

“I didn’t bring a swim suit.”

“We don’t need them.”

At this point, Sober Harry would’ve picked up right away on the second half of Louis’ wild idea, but Drunk Harry seemed to go along with anything Louis said.

Well, to be fair, so would Sober Harry.

Picking up his half-full bottle in front of him, he followed Louis towards the door anyway.

Just walking out to the pool was freezing in itself. It had to be far below zero outside, but Louis explained that they kept the pool almost as hot as a hot tub in the winter. Harry didn’t understand why they didn’t just buy a hot tub then. And maybe keep it indoors so they wouldn’t have to endure this weather.

Louis took his shirt off first and began unbuckling his jeans with no hesitation. Harry, with definite hesitation, placed his cooler on the ground next to him and pulled only his shirt off. In that time, Louis was already down to his pants and doing a cannon ball into the water. When his head popped back up his face was scrunched up in focus. Lifting his hand out of the water, he tossed his balled up pants near the ladder.

“Every time you suggest something crazy to do I think you’ve reached your limit, but now you want to skinny dip in your parents pool while they’re away in the middle of winter,” Harry was laughing in disbelief and shaking his head.

“It’s not just that I want to, I already am.”

“You’re crazy,” Harry said again.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve done it. C’mon, get in!” He commanded. And because Harry couldn’t help himself from being the pushover that he was, he did.

Following Louis’ same method, he kept his pants on until he was already in the water, then threw them onto the edge. He didn’t feel as exposed as he thought he would. Part of it was probably because he knew that if he couldn’t see _all_ of Louis through the water that meant Louis couldn’t see _all_ of him.

“What’s the point of this anyway?” asked Harry.

“Don’t you find it freeing?” Louis rebutted.

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“Not enjoying the feeling of warm water submerging your bare schlong?”

“Oh my _god,_ please never say the word “ _schlong”_ ever again,” Harry shuddered making Louis bark out a laugh.

“Does it make you uncomfortable when I talk about meat sticks?”

“How old are you?”

“Beef whistle-”

“That’s just disgusting.”

“Mushroom head-”

“Stoooop!” Harry shouted, covering his ears. He starting blocking out Louis’ voice with a string of the most obnoxious sounds he could think of. When he realized Louis’ lips stopped moving, he uncovered his ears.

“How old am _I_?” Louis raised an eyebrow.

“Oh shut up,” Harry turned around so he wouldn’t see him smiling as he waded to the other end of the pool.

Louis wasn’t exactly wrong about the freeing feeling. It wasn’t even a physical feeling, really, it was more in his mind. Harry wasn’t afraid to admit he had a stick up his bum most days. He just never was one to go out of his comfort zone. But after moving practically across the country alone to go to school, there wasn’t much farther out of his comfort zone that he could get.

“I’m glad I met you, you know,” Harry said, holding on to the edge while he floated far from Louis and took another sip of his drink.

“Oh? What made you come up with such a sentiment?” he asked.

“You said it yourself, I’m quite a boring person, and you’re definitely the opposite of boring. I know your dad said back there that he hoped I’d rub off on you, but I think it’s the other way around.”

“I never said you were boring,” Louis defended. “You have goals and dreams, that’s not boring. What do I do besides cause trouble?”

Harry chose to ignore the self-deprecating comment for a question, “You don’t have any goals?”

“Try to graduate school, I suppose. Haven’t really figured it out any further than that. What are your goals?”

“Finish uni, get a degree in medicine, most likely, so I can get my MD.”

“You want to be a doctor?”

“Yeah, I do. And I want to buy my mum a house. She’s worked so hard her whole life just for me and my sister to make great lives for ourselves, so I think that’d be really nice.”

“It would be,” Louis smiled. He had made his way towards the edge as well, only about five feet away. “You don’t talk about your family much.”

“I don’t?”

Louis shook his head.

“Well Gemma, my sister, just got into a small university back home, so she’s been doing really well, which of course means mum is happy because she’s proud. I don’t really know what else to tell besides that they’re really great. You should meet them sometime.”

“I think I’d like that.”

No matter how curious, Louis didn’t dare ask about what happened with Harry’s dad. He may have had a few father problems of his own, but that didn’t exactly compare with not having one around at all. Then again, who was he to say what made a family? Harry seemed quite content with his.

A moment of silence fell between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a just a pause. A moment to reflect.

 “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to head back inside. It’s getting fucking freezing,” Louis said finally.

“I’m right there with ya.”

Harry grabbed his soaking wet pants off of the edge and tried to pull them back on under the water. Having a different idea in mind, Louis simply stepped right up the ladder and proceeded to gather his clothes.

“Do you have no shame?” Harry asked, diverting his eyes away from Louis’, uh, everything.

“Not even a little bit.”

Realizing they forgot to bring towels outside with them, the boys ended up drying themselves off with their t-shirts just enough so they could make it back to their rooms to find some dry clothes. Since Harry was unsure if they were going to bed yet, he pulled on an old concert tee instead of leaving his room in just pants.

As he was trying to fluff out his curls and get most of the water out with a towel he got from the bathroom, a quiet knocking came from the door. Louis was already in the room before Harry could respond.

“Hey, did you feel like watching this? We fell asleep the first time around so you never got to see the end.”

Louis was holding up a DVD of _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_. For a while, Harry considered just finishing it on his own since they seemed to forget every time they got a moment free to watch, but ultimately decided to wait for Louis. It’d probably make the experience better anyway.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Do you mind if we watch it in my room? The projector is kind of a pain in the ass to set up with DVDs.”

“Not at all.”

It was getting quite late so instead of sitting on the leather sofa as the movie played, both boys lay in Louis’ bed, realizing soon that they’d probably surrender to sleep right away regardless of their intention to stay up. Louis managed to make it a little further than the first time around before he dozed off, almost right to the end. Struggling to keep his eyes open, Harry didn’t give in until Ferris said his final famous line, and then the credits rolled.

 

The next morning, Harry found himself waking up first. He was rolled over a bit too close to Louis’ side of the bed and their legs had somehow ended up crossed over one another. Sliding himself back to the other side of the mattress, he took a moment to try to assess the situation of his headspace. There was no throbbing and his throat was only a bit dry. Overall, no signs of a hangover. At this point he just expected one every time he drank, but they mustn’t have had as much as he assumed.

After willing himself to stand up, he walked past the mirror on his way out the door. His hair was flat from not drying it properly before sleeping and there were a few red sleep lines across his face, but he didn’t care. He thought staying in the guest room was a great sleep, but that was before he slept the night in Louis’ bed.

Finding his way through the maze of a house, Harry managed to end up in the kitchen where he immediately headed for the kettle to add some water and turn it on. While he gathered the mugs and teabags, looking through every cabinet to find them all, Louis stumbled still looking drowsy.

“Tea?” Harry asked. The kettle had just finished boiling.

“Please.”

As Harry poured the water, Louis took the milk out of the fridge before perching himself on a stool at the breakfast bar.

“Hungry?” was Harry’s second question. He placed the mugs in front of both of them.

“Yeah, I can call to get some breakfast delivered.”

“You can get breakfast deliv-? Never mind. I meant, if you’re hungry, I was thinking we should make pancakes.”

“You want to make pancakes? I mean we can, but I don’t really know how. What’s in a pancake again?”

“Eggs, milk, flour…”

“Would there be flour in here?” He gestured to the whole kitchen.

“Have you ever cooked before?” Harry tilted his head curiously.

Louis took a sip from his mug then cleared his throat, “Uh, no, I haven’t.”

“Alright then, I guess I’ll just have to show you how.”

He strode across the room to find the eggs in the fridge before beginning his search for the dry ingredients. He asked Louis to try and find a mixing bowl, whisk, frying pan, and spatula, even though his guess was as good as Harry’s as to where those things actually were. By the time everything was gathered, half the cabinets were still open and the kitchen already looked like it was flipped upside down.

Harry first showed Louis how to crack the eggs into the bowl that already held the flour. He managed to get so many pieces of shell in that Harry decided it was best to just start from the beginning. When the batter was finally made, Harry poured the first scoop into the frying pan and turned on the egg timer.

“You think you can do it?” Harry asked, feeling uneasy just looking at Louis holding the spatula.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I can flip a pancake.”

“It’s harder than it looks, so if it doesn’t work the first time don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Louis pointed the spatula in his direction threateningly.

When the timer dinged he went in for the flip. Positioning the spatula underneath the pancake, he tried his own technique of quickly twisting his wrist. Instead of a seeing the underside with a nice golden brown, the batter splashed over the sides and stuck to the burner.

"Oh, shit!" Louis exclaimed. Harry rushed to grab a wet cloth and wipe it up before it burned.

"Maybe next time get it inside the pan," Harry said, moving the pan out of the way so he could clean up the mess.

Louis glared at him, still smiling, "Should I? I thought the floor would be my next plan."

Laughing, Harry put a new scoop of batter in the pan and wiped the extra that got on his hand onto Louis' cheek. In retaliation, Louis dipped his own finger in the batter and spread it right down Harry's nose. He blocked his face with his forearm to try to shoo Louis away, but he couldn't react in time.

"Hey!" Harry exclaimed.

Louis was laughing harder now so Harry took a whole spoonful and flung it at his chest. When Louis’ mouth changed shape from a single curve to an 'O', he wiped the batter off his arm and stepped towards Harry with his hand sticking out. In a fit of laughter, Harry grabbed both of his wrists and tried to hold him back, but Louis was slightly stronger than he was, even while trying to fight back the giggles.

"Just give up!" Louis said over his laughter. He tried to twist his way free, but it only ended with Harry backing up even further. Then they were against the wall and Harry had no choice but to surrender. Louis smeared the batter right across his forehead with a proud grin, and Harry scrunched up his face in defeat.

When he opened his eyes again, he realized Louis’ face was barely inches from his. He didn't even know he was still holding on to Louis' wrists because all his attention was suddenly brought forward. Both their smiles faded, and for a split second he swore Louis began to lean in.

* _Beep beep beep_ *

The boys jumped back at the sound of the egg timer.

"I should get that," Harry said, finally releasing Louis and stepping around him. Louis followed back to the stove wordlessly while Harry got another pancake ready. He tried to complete the task without looking as distracted as he was because if he wasn't mistaken, he almost just kissed Louis. Or, Louis almost kissed him? Did he _want_ Louis to kiss him?

What exactly just happened?

Breakfast, right. He was making breakfast.

"Hey, so I was going to ask you, do you have any plans for New Years?" Louis said as he picked up the wet cloth from before and wiped the batter from his face. When he figured most of it was gone, he gently reached forward to do the same for Harry, who turned to his face to let him like a child would. "Because my parents throw this party-thing every year and if you wanted to come..."

"I'm actually going to Sean's." The response escaped his mouth much faster than he intended and Louis pulled his hand away. "We made the plans a while ago, is all." It wasn’t a lie. The plan was something he was very much looking forward to, spending a few days with his boyfriend. (Repeat: _boyfriend_.)

"Oh, right," he nodded quickly. Walking towards the sink, he turned it on to rinse the cloth. "That'll be fun, then."

"Yeah, I think so."

The new pancake was bubbling again and Harry reached for the spatula to flip it himself.

"Hold on, I have a new idea," Louis said with new found bit of enthusiasm in his voice, and that look in his eye he always had when he told Harry to trust him in a situation where he shouldn't be trusted. He made Harry back away to give him more room and took the frying pan off the stove.

"See, when you said the next plan was the floor, I thought you were joking."

Harry watched him with an amused stare and his arms folded in front of him. Making a forward swinging motion, Louis managed to flip the pancake perfectly to the other side.

He placed the pan back on the stove and looked up at Harry, whose eyebrows were almost at his hairline.

"Just call me Chef Ramsay," he said proudly.

"Yeah,” he tried to hold back a fond smile, “that's not going to happen."


	10. Chapter 10

Contrary to his own belief, Harry was not actually horrible at playing pool. In fact, he was actually kind of good at it. Maybe he was starting to get a hang of that whole hand-eye-coordination thing.

The weekend before term two classes were set to begin, Louis took it upon himself to gather his whole friend group for a lads’ night in the common room, which mostly just meant hanging out down there after hours when everyone else went off to bed. And since there was no one else to bug them, Louis and Niall both broke out their stashes of booze they hid in their rooms. Louis didn’t feel much like drinking himself after a certain New Year’s incident, but he was happy to share with the guys. He’d just make sure to take Harry along with him on a trip to restock later.

Back home, just days before the end of the winter holidays, Louis’ parents threw their annual New Year’s Eve gala at their house. The day of, they had just gotten back from a business trip and were in a frenzy to make sure everything was organized for that evening. Louis kept to his room during most of it, knowing he’d only get in the way otherwise, then later emerged in the overpriced brand name suit his dad had gotten tailored for him, to act like he was enjoying the party.

His way of enjoying the party happened to be drowning himself in the cocktails that waiters carried around on platters while shamelessly flirting with interns and the sons of his dad’s clients and partners. And that may have been how he ended up in a guest room with one of them at some point after the midnight celebrations.

But hey, he was told to try his best to enjoy the party, and try he did.

Louis wasn’t exactly proud to start a streak of meaningless hookups. He was only nineteen, he still had his twenties to go through all of that. When he woke up on January 1st with a wicked migraine and that same feeling of disgust he remembered from the night in the club, he decided then and there to end the streak before it began. If the goal was to get over Zayn, he’d achieved that long ago. He no longer felt a sense of grief every time he walked into the dining hall and realized there was a new reason Zayn would pick the seat furthest from him, or when he looked at his phone and didn’t see that little bubble pop up with the ‘Z’ and yellow heart emoji.

It was just ‘Zayn’ now, and he was okay with it.

Since returning only that afternoon, Harry and Louis didn’t get much time to catch up on what happened during the few days of being apart. Harry did tell him, however, that his New Year’s was fun and he and Sean spent it with some of Sean’s friends from university. Louis left out most of the details from his parents’ party, describing it as being much less eventful than it actually was. He figured Harry didn’t exactly need to know all that, just like he didn’t want to know the details of his visit with Sean. Some things are better left unknown.

For the rounds of pool, the guys had paired off into teams of two. Louis picked Liam to be his teammate, forgetting the mess Liam usually ended up in when he was drinking. Honestly, Louis didn’t know how that guy managed to remain prefect when he probably broke the rules almost as often as the rest of them did. Guess it was Liam’s lack of a smart mouth that let him get away with most things. Louis did have to give him credit though, he had the power to ruin everything for Louis by letting Finch know about his weekly off-campus adventures, but Liam chose to keep his mouth shut. That small bit of trust is a lot of what kept their friendship going.

As pool grew more competitive, Louis grew more bored of it. Niall and Jonathan were in the midst of a round against Rob and TJ and the trash talk just kept increasing. The other four were sat on the couch, waiting for the game to be over so they could move on to literally anything else.

“How do you think you’re going to reach that if you’re barely taller than the pool que?” TJ asked Jonathan, presumably about a shot he was about to take.

“Your mum didn’t seem to have a problem with that last night,” Jonathan replied.

Louis rolled his eyes and threw his head back on the sofa, “Do you shitheads need to take the lovers quarrel out on the playground along with that comeback that seemed to come from the mouth of an eleven-year-old?”

His comment was ignored by the four players, who were too caught up in their game to pay much attention to anything else. Louis looked around at Liam, Zayn, and Harry who were sitting around him, either on their phones or nursing drinks.

“Hey, you want to play charades?” he asked them.

Liam looked at him confusedly, “Charades? Like what married couples play at dinner parties?”

“Yes, Liam, and like what you’re going to play with us right now.”

The suggestion turned into more of a command when Louis pulled out his phone to download an app for the game. Zayn picked the bottle of vodka off the table to pour more into him and Liam’s cups, figuring they were going to need it. Harry had also opted out of drinking for the night, most likely for a similar reason as Louis.

“Should we keep the same teams? Liam and I versus you two?” Louis gestured between Zayn and Harry, who nodded their approval.

Louis and Liam went first, Louis standing up to be the first one to act it out. Taking a moment to decide how he was going to do it, Louis eventually held up the signs for type and number of words.

“Okay, film! Four words! Second word!” Liam shouted out far too excitedly. Louis mimed the action of shooting a bow and arrow into the air. “Archery! Bow! Bow and Arrow! The Hunger Games!”

“I said four words,” Louis broke his silence.

“No talking!” Harry reminded him.

“Sorry,” Louis mumbled, resuming his action.

“Right, okay. Fourth word. Flying. Flapping. Wings. Soaring. Chicken. Chicken Run!”

“Oh my god!” Louis shouted dropping his arms from the motion he was making. “Chickens don’t fly. Say something that makes sense!”

“Do something that makes sense!” Liam retaliated.

“Time’s up,” Zayn told them, stopping the thirty second timer on his phone.

“It was _To Kill a Mockingbird_ ,” Louis sighed, falling back next to Liam on the sofa. “Hence the shooting in the air and the flying.”

“Shooting a bow and arrow doesn’t directly translate to the word ‘kill’,” Liam huffed.

“It does to everyone else!”

“If you two are done bickering, it’s my turn,” Harry got up and tapped the button on Louis’ phone to get a new title. Zayn turned to face him after he set the next timer, ready to guess.

“Book. Two words. First word.” Harry pointed at himself. “You. Boy. Harry. Harry Potter!”

“That’s it!” Harry cheered and high fived Zayn before sitting back down on the sofa opposite the rest of them.

“Unfair!” Liam shouted at the same time Louis called out, “That was too easy!”

During their own mix of yelling, even more could be heard coming from the other half of them that were still at the pool table. Rob was getting noticeably rowdy with a drink in one and the pool cue in the other as he somehow ended up standing on top of the table, hunched over so his head wouldn’t hit the ceiling. TJ and Jonathan were rooting him on as Niall was climbing on from the other side with a cue in his hand as well.

“What are you guys doing?” Zayn said. The four of them stood up from their seats in concern.

“We’re finding out who the real winner is,” Niall informed them as they both raised their pool cues.

There wasn’t enough time for the others to rush over before Rob and Niall were in a sword battle with the cues, thankfully aiming more for the sticks than each other. Louis was at the edge of the table first, trying to will Niall to come down without getting hit or causing either of them to fall. Who knew the table could even hold that much weight?

The whole group of them were surrounding the two boys now, all trying to keep their distance even though most wanted to stop it, meaning everyone except TJ and Jonathan. They were too far gone to be anything except excited about whatever was going on in front of them.

Not knowing his own strength, Rob took one final swing towards Niall with one hand. Only it didn’t hit Niall and went soaring out of his grasp. Zayn and Liam had to duck so it wouldn’t hit them as it went flying, piercing right through the drywall behind them

“What the fuck?!” Zayn shouted, equally as surprised by the result as almost getting hit in the head.

Assessing the damage, Liam mustered up enough power to pull it out of the wall, which left a hole about the size of a golf ball. Not huge, but definitely noticeable.

“How did you even manage to do that?” Harry asked as they began crowding around the wall, Niall and Rob climbing down from the table.

“I don’t have a bloody clue,” he said in amazement.

“We have to cover it up!” Liam announced to the group. “If anyone finds out about this we’re all screwed.”

“Maybe we could patch it up somehow,” suggested Rob. He stuck a finger out and poked at the hole. More drywall fell apart around it and Rob widened his eyes to look at his hand and his jaw dropped. “How strong _am_ I?”

“Mate, it’s an old building, you aren’t Superman,” TJ told him, pulling him away by his shoulders.

Louis shook his head, resting a few fingers on his forehead in exhaustion. “Alright, Liam, Jonathan, can you guys get those drunk idiots out of here?” He pointed a finger between Rob and Niall. “Harry and I will find something to cover this, you and Zayn keep watch down here,” he told TJ assertively.

“Got it,” Liam replied, which was followed by Niall’s voice whining, “Come on, we never found out who won!”

“I’m pretty sure the guy that caused the least property damage won,” Jonathan assured him as he put one hand on his back, ushering him out of the room.

Once those four were out of sight and out of the way, Louis and Harry rushed up the stairs and back to their dorm. Louis had the perfect idea for how to cover up the hole, and stop it from looking suspicious.

“So what exactly are we up here for?” Harry asked after flipping the light on to their room.

“Remember how I bought too many of those framed film posters last term?” he was already disappearing into his closet again and dug around for a few moments until he emerged with two frames. He held them up so Harry could see both. One was _Pulp Fiction_ and the other _Kill Bill_.

“Most guys will like film posters that have girls on them hanging in the common room, right?”

Harry shrugged, “I mean the girl is attractive, I suppose, but you’re asking the wrong guy. Seems a little objectifying, doesn’t it?”

“But you can’t go wrong with Tarantino!” he exclaimed.

“I don’t even know what that means.”

Louis sighed, not feeling like explaining to Harry of the genius he thought Quentin Tarantino to be at the moment. Instead, he handed one of the posters to Harry and grabbed the hammer and some nails that were still rattling around in his bottom desk drawer. Once he was set, he headed back to the stairs with Harry on his heels.

Back in the common room, TJ was standing right next to the entryway, keeping watch while Zayn collected the discarded cups and hid the near-empty bottles. TJ took one look at the posters and already gave a look of confusion.

“Film posters?” he raised an eyebrow.

Louis and Harry looked at each other, then back at him with a nod.

“Well, Uma Thurman is hot, I suppose.”

“Told ya,” Louis nudged Harry in the ribs then proceeded to the hold one of the frames up to the wall to measure.

TJ continued to keep watch while Louis, Harry, and Zayn worked to get the two posters hung up. To hang up both on one wall and make it look normal didn’t prove easy because the hole was far off centre of the wall, but they figured the spots they decided on work well enough. Since they didn’t have the ladder, Louis had to stand on his tiptoes on a chair to reach high enough for where the nails needed to go.

One problem there was with trying to hammer something at midnight is that it’s really loud. Like, impossible-to-sleep-through loud. Louis tried his best to hit the hammer as lightly as possible, but unfortunately he did not have Rob’s effortless super strength.

And that is what caused TJ to start flailing his arms and yelling, “Someone’s coming!” right as Louis readjusted the second frame. He hopped off the chair and Harry grabbed it right away to run it back to the table. Louis lunged towards the couches to stuff the hammer between the cushions and Zayn did the same with the last bottle he noticed sitting on the coffee table.

Just as they all relaxed onto the sofas like nothing happened at all, a night supervisor walked in looking suspicious of his surroundings.

“What are you all doing in here? Curfew was hours ago,” he said, clearly annoyed.

“We had trouble sleeping,” TJ said right away.

“Yeah, we were just hanging out to wane off the insomnia,” added Louis, just as casually.

“Mhmm,” the supervisor glared, not buying it at all. “Detention tomorrow, all four of you. Don’t let me catch you in here after hours again. Off you go back to your rooms. If you’re still here when I get back, Finch will be hearing about this.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry said nervously and Louis shot him a look from across the room. The supervisor left slowly, but couldn’t have gone much further than the main lobby to wait for them to leave.

Zayn sighed first and stood up to retreat to his dorm. “This is the last time I help you idiots again,” he said.

“Well,” TJ commented, following suit. “At least he didn’t notice the posters.”

 

One class Louis was definitely not looking forward to in his second term was Biology. Harry, Jonathan, and Zayn all ended up in the class with him, so they decided amongst themselves to split into pairs since that’s how the desks were laid out. Louis picked the back corner where four desks were grouped together. Zayn and Harry took the front pair so they would remain lab partners. If it were up to him, Louis would’ve asked Harry to be his partner, but he didn’t want to split the apparent ‘science geniuses’ up.

The best part about coming back from break was picking back up on football. There were only about two months left in the season, but that was enough to keep his spirits up for now. He chose not to think about what he was going to look forward to after his last year of football was over.

In terms of routine, Harry had somehow managed to wrap Louis into his. On the days he didn’t have practice, he now ended up in the library finishing up homework or simply keeping Harry company instead of his usual hangout spot in the common room. That wasn’t to say he completely deserted his friends and their usual after-school rounds of table football or poker. He still ended up there after practise and even tried to convince Harry to join them most nights. For some reason, the guy had some sort of rule for himself against leisure activities on week days.

Sometimes Louis really just wished Harry would give himself a break. It wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

Included in this routine was something that continued on from last term. Actually, right from the first week of school. Hardly ever missing a practise, Harry turned the bleachers into his third- or fourth, if you count the dining hall- study space while Louis was on the field.

It wasn’t exactly like they had become inseparable, they just realized they enjoyed being around each other more than they liked being alone. Nothing wrong with wanting some company from a friend once in a while. Or in their case, every day.

Something Louis noticed about Harry during these practices was his nose didn’t remain in a book the whole time like it used too. He’d actually look up once in a while and seemed genuinely interested in the drills and plays. If he happened to catch Louis’ eye, he’d respond by pulling a face to try to make Louis laugh and possibly distract him while he was waiting around.

Normally practice would be held indoors at the beginning of second term until the weather got a bit warmer, but not a single snowflake had been seen since Christmas. Not that Louis was complaining. He’d much rather be outside on the field where he could breathe fresh air into his lungs and run around on real grass than in the small, stuffy, recreation building.

This Thursday practice particularly, already a couple of weeks into the new year, Louis was feeling especially energized. He was nailing all his drills perfectly and Coach Evans seemed to be keeping an extra eye on him, nodding his approval every so often.

For lunch that day he did actually eat salad for once, thanks to Rob’s advice. That’s the only thing he could think to credit for his heightened performance. Eating healthy was supposed to do that, right? As much as Rob tried to teach him about all that, he could never be bothered to care.

As practise came to an end, Coach sent everyone back to the locker room. Most guys headed right to the showers, but Louis hated using them. It was one big open room with no privacy whatsoever. At least in the dorm showers you got your own stall with a curtain. That’s why he preferred the wet wipe and deodorant method before getting changed, then rinsing off back in the dorms right before dinner.

Collecting the last of his things and stuffing them into his locker, he heard Coach call his name from the doorway of his office. Louis closed the metal door and grabbed the last of his things before strolling over.

“Come in here for a second, Tomlinson, I need to talk to you,” Coach said, closing the door behind Louis. Instead of the chair against the wall, Louis sat on top of the short filing cabinet while Coach leaned against his small wooden desk, crossing his arms in front of him.

Of all the teachers at Rockcrest, Coach Evans was easily Louis’ favourite. Arguably, he was the only one who could appreciate a good laugh and tolerate Louis’ daily antics. Not to mention he was much younger than the other teachers. Barely in his thirties. And he was the only one who strived for mutual respect to and from his students, not just expected it from them. That was admirable in anyone.

“So what’s going on?” Louis asked, pushing down on the cabinet with his hands so his shoulders were up near his ears.

“Andrews is going to be out the rest of the season. The fracture in his ankle is worse than they thought and if he can’t run, there isn’t much he can do.”

“Ah, that’s shit then, innit?” Louis said sympathetically. Andrews was assistant captain on the team. On the first day back he took a nasty fall and practically snapped his foot. They thought it was just a bad sprain at first, but that turned out not to be the case.

“For him, yeah. Maybe not so much for you. I want you to take his spot for the rest of the season. You’ve been filling in the last couple weeks anyway and I wouldn’t have don’t that if I didn’t think you were the best fit. You don’t get an armband or anything, but you’re second to Rob and take his place is he’s ever not here. What do you say?”

Louis thought about it for a moment, looking away and towards the ground. This wasn’t the first time he’d been offered assistant captain. Coach had been getting him to try and take the spot since year ten, but Louis always claimed he didn’t want the responsibility. Especially if Rob was to get hurt at some point because he definitely didn’t feel like he could handle being captain, no matter how appealing that armband seemed to be.

“If you really want me to do it, I will,” Louis shrugged, smiling regardless.

“Great! That’s good to hear. I’ll let the team know next week,” Coach grinned ear to ear and stood back up straight. Louis took that as a signal that they were done here and slid down off the cabinet. In two strides he ended up back at the door and put his hand on the handle, but not before turning back around once more.

“You’re really sure you want me to do it?” he asked.

Coach glanced up from the clipboard he was now writing on. “I wasn’t joking when I said you were best fit. Plus, it’ll look great when you try to get into uni.”

Louis sighed, “If you really think so.”

“Hey.” The door was open and Louis was just about to leave, but Coach stopped him right before he turned to go. “It’s great that you’re willing to do more to reach your full potential. Really. It’s been a long time coming.”

Louis offered another smile, a bit more sincere than the last.

“Thanks, Coach.”

Back outside near the bleachers, Harry was sat waiting for him on one of the structure poles so they could walk back to the dorms. He had his bag draped over his shoulder, the one Louis got him for Christmas, and patiently scrolled through his phone while his legs swung freely.

It took him until Louis was practically standing over him for him to realize his presence. When he did, he grinned happily and hopped down.

“Have a good practice?” Harry asked. He joined Louis at his side so they could begin the stroll to the opposite end of campus.

“Yeah, it was really good. Coach actually called me into his office after and offered me assistant captain. Said Andrews was out for the season.”

“You said yes, right?”

“I did, yeah.”

“That’s incredible, Lou!” He put an arm around his shoulders in a sort of half-hug as they walked, dropping it after a quick squeeze.

Louis only mumbled a quiet “thanks.” He was grateful Coach considered him to be best for the position, but he still wasn’t sure about the added responsibility. He just didn’t want to let anyone down.

“Hey, so I almost forgot to mention, but Sean is coming to visit this weekend.”

The statement took Louis so off guard that he actually choked a bit on his own saliva from breathing in too fast.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, no, I-” Louis stuttered for a moment, then when he untangled his tongue asked, “Is he staying the whole weekend?”

“No, just for the day on Saturday. Had to get permission to have a visitor from the main offices, but everything’s sorted out.”

“Oh. Well, that’ll be nice.”

“You can finally meet him officially!” Harry blurted excitedly, “I’ve told him about you plenty and he really wants to meet you. And all the guys, if they want. You’ll get along great, I already know it.”

“Looking forward to it,” Louis said with a tight-lipped smile.

He didn’t know why he felt so weird about meeting Sean. While he did want to make sure he was good for Harry and would make him happy, if Harry even cared what Louis thought, there was something he found a bit off-putting about meeting the guy Harry was dating. Right now, Harry was probably his closest friend, and no matter how selfish it sounded, Louis kind of liked having him to himself most of the time.

And so maybe last year he might’ve thought that he was falling for Harry a bit. But then he realized how ridiculous that was because Harry had a boyfriend. Clearly, since he was visiting this weekend apparently. Plus, they still had to be roommates for the rest of the year. How would that even work if something ever happened between them? They were just becoming close, was all.

Really.

When they got back to the dorm, just before leaving for dinner, Harry got into his wardrobe and was already flicking between hangers to look for an outfit. Another routine Louis was used to, helping Harry pick out what he was going to wear before a date.

As long as he didn’t try to dictate what Louis was wearing for this whole “first meeting” tomorrow, then Louis would be fine.

While he watched Harry hold up different shirts and gave his opinion from the spot on the centre of his bed with his legs crossed in front of him, one thought stuck out in his mind: Thank God he didn’t follow through with that whole pancake incident back home when Harry visited. That would just create a whole other disaster.


	11. Chapter 11

“Are you really just going to sit there and let me clean by myself?”

“It’s not my boyfriend coming to visit.”

Louis was sat in Harry’s swivel chair with his feet propped up on the desk. He had one of Harry’s books from the stack next to it in hand, pretending to be intrigued by the story even though he hadn’t even read a word.

“I really shouldn’t have to clean up after you. I’m not your mum.”

“You’re right, she’d just get fed up and make the maids do it.”

Harry rolled his eyes and continued collecting loose pieces of paper that were scattered on the ground. Like usual, his own side of the room was spotless. It was Louis’ side that needed constant work. He couldn’t show Sean his room when it looked like this, but Louis was also stubborn and that fact wasn’t changing anytime soon.

“Will you at least pick up your dirty clothes off the floor? You know there are washing machines at the end of the hall for a reason.”

“I know how to put my clothes in the wash!” Louis defended. He pushed his foot off the desk so he’d spin in a circle, then planted it again after the full 360 degrees.

“Louis, you’ve been throwing clothes you want washed in my basket for months now. And don’t think I don’t notice when you show up to class in my shirts just because they’re clean.”

“To be fair, you’ve stolen my clothes too. You came down to dinner yesterday wearing my red jumper, and you know that one is my favourite because it’s too big.”

“Yeah, because I was cold and I just pulled it out of the dryer from the washing _I_ did.”

The bickering clearly wasn’t getting them anywhere, but nothing about their pointless fights ever solved anything. There wasn’t even much of a problem to begin with. Louis knew Harry didn’t care as much as he let off, and Harry knew Louis would give into helping anyway. Win-win.

“Fine, where’s that feather duster you got from the cleaning cupboard? I’ll do that,” he decided, tossing the book he was holding back onto Harry’s desk.

“Over there,” Harry pointed to his night table where the blue handled duster was sitting. He was already crossing the room to move the book back onto its spot on top of the stack.

Picking up the duster, Louis held it delicately between his thumb and pointer finger. As dramatically as he could, he skipped around the room, lightly brushing every surface like he was Cinderella. As he walked by, he pressed play on the speaker and turned the movements into more of a dance.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” Harry shook his head at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, this is how I clean.”

“Are some mice about to show up and help you knit a dress for the ball?”

“Would that make you my Fairy Godmother?”

Swooping back around past the two desks Louis dropped the duster on his bed and dragged Harry to the empty space by one arm. Harry didn’t even try to force away a smile while Louis twirled him around, then pulled him into the ballroom dancing position with one hand on his hip and their hands cupped together on one side.

Not knowing how to actually ballroom dance, and considering they were listening to quite upbeat music while goofing around, Louis exaggeratedly swayed them side to side.

“Wait, so am I the fairy Godmother or Prince Charming?”

“I actually think this makes _you_ Cinderella.”

When he tried to dip Harry, he wasn’t expecting the movement and failed to bend his back into it.  They both fell to the floor in a fit of laughter, Louis landing right on top of him.

Just in that moment, their room door swung open and Niall walked in looking immediately taken aback.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” he asked amusedly while his hand was still resting on the doorknob.

“Cleaning,” Harry said, standing up first after Louis moved off of him and sat back on the floor.

“Just because we forget to lock the door sometimes doesn’t mean it’s an invitation to walk in,” Louis informed him.

“Why?” He raised an eyebrow. “Got something to hide?”

“Well, looks like it’s not a secret anymore,” Harry feigned dismay, “I guess he was going to find out soon enough.”

“No! We can’t let them know,” Louis gasped, bringing a hand to his chest. He wasn’t sure where Harry was going with this, but he was willing to play along.

“It’s been long enough, Louis. We owe him the truth.”

Niall rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of him.

“I didn’t realize when I walked in that I’d get a whole theatre production,” he said.

Ignoring the comment, Louis sighed, “Tell him, then.”

“It’s just…” Harry looked up to the ceiling like he was trying to hold back tears and Louis had to laugh into his own shoulder because he couldn’t hold his composure anymore. “We’re actually secret professional dancers. We’ve been training for months, for this big competition. Put our blood, sweat and tears into this routine, but didn’t want to let anyone know.”

“Yes, because clearly we aren’t very good, as you can tell by how we ended up on the floor,” Louis spoke in his normal voice again, which made Harry crack from his own character.

“Is the show over?”

“What do you need, Niall?!” Louis raised his face, still with a smile from where he was seated on the floor, making Harry laugh even harder.

“Sean’s waiting for you down at the main offices. You have to help him check in,” he told Harry.

“He’s here? Now? Why didn’t you start with that?!”

Harry rushed to pick up his phone and clicked it on. He had two missed calls and ten unread messages, all from Sean. Somehow, he must’ve switched his phone to silent and not checked it since they started cleaning.

“Shit, okay. Louis, can you please finish cleaning while I go meet him? I’ll just take him around for a tour to buy time then we’ll meet you guys for lunch in the dining hall, okay?” He looked between Niall and Louis who both nodded their heads, then rushed past Niall and out the door.

Slowly, Louis stood back up to get back to tidying. Harry had done mostly everything except for picking up the clothes. Louis figured he could either throw them in the basket like normal, or stuff it all in his closet and close the door.

Glancing back up, Louis realized Niall was still standing in the doorway.

“Were you guys actually dancing when I walked in here?”

With half a smile that was tempted to turn to a laugh, Louis pointed at the door and proceeded to say, “Just get out.”

His hands up in defence, Niall obeyed the command and closed the door behind him.

After having just finished the cleaning Harry left him with, which was probably less than his fair share anyway, Louis didn’t spot Harry or Sean anywhere on his way to the lunch. He thought he might run into them as the dining hall was halfway across campus from their dorm, but there was no sign of the pair anywhere. They were probably somewhere like the library, Louis figured. Of course he’d want to show it to Sean, it was practically his second home.

They weren’t in the dining hall, either, when Louis arrived. The rest of his friends were already there, however, chatting amongst themselves at the table like usual.

Louis didn’t bother picking up more than an apple and a to-go cup of tea from the lunch tables. For once, he and Harry actually made it on time for breakfast on that morning, which meant taking advantage of the amounts of freshly made waffles with eggs and strips of bacon. After gorging himself earlier, the last thing he felt like doing was eating any more.

But he did have practice that afternoon, and Rob was well-known for his insistence on the team to eat well during football season. Hence, the apple.

Pulling out the chair between Niall and Liam, Louis made sure his presence was known as he sat down with a knee propped up and the other leg tucked underneath him. The others were eating the usual salads and sandwiches provided, so he could feel Rob’s glare in his direction.

“Is that going to keep your energy up for your first day as official assistant captain?” he asked.

Louis was about to take a bite of the apple, but pulled it away just as his teeth bruised the surface.

“You made assistant captain? Congrats, mate!” Liam said while Niall clapped him on the back in the same excited way.

“How did you know that?” Louis eyed Rob.

“Coach asked me what I thought before he offered it to you. Right after you said yes he told me.”

“Why didn’t you tell us, man?” TJ asked next.

Louis wasn’t sure what to do besides shrug.

“Didn’t think it was that big a deal.”

“Sure it is,” added Niall while Louis smiled uncomfortably through the praise.

Sat opposite him, Louis noticed Jonathan wave to someone across the room causing the others to all look up. Louis turned around it his seat just in time to see Harry and Sean approach two seats right at the end of the table parallel to each other.

“Hey guys, this is Sean,” Harry said happily before naming each person around the table for Sean’s benefit, landing on Louis last. “And that’s Louis, my roommate.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve seen you around when you drop Harry off. Haven’t formally met yet though, so good to meet you. You all, as well,” he said, pulling out his seat. Harry removed his bag from his own shoulder and placed it on the floor underneath his chair as he sat down. They were both carrying trays, Harry’s with far less food on it than normal. He was probably just as full as Louis was from the mountain of waffles they had only a couple of hours prior.

The first word to come to mind when looking at Sean would be ‘hipster’. With that said, that was also the exact same look Harry had to his wardrobe, but he didn’t give off that same pretentious vibe that he immediately got from just being in Sean’s presence. He had black thick rimmed glasses perched on his nose and his hair was styled up with a quiff pointing to one side. The fabric of his jeans hugged his legs so tightly you could really see _everything_ , right from his tones calves to the, uh, upper-thigh region. His shoes were brown boots and he wore a peacoat over his button-up plaid shirt.

Louis wanted to give him a chance and not judge him based on how he looked, but he was already pretty sure he wasn’t going to be this guy’s biggest fan.

“So, Sean,” TJ deepened his voice to a comedic level, “What exactly are your intentions with our boy, Harry, here?”

Liam leaned over the table just so he could flick TJ in the ear, knocking over his own, thankfully closed, water bottle as he did so.

“Don’t listen to him,” Harry said to Sean over the snickering from the group and insistence that TJ “shut the hell up.”

While the others began to grill Sean about his university studies and where he was from, Louis remained a quiet observer while he ate his apple, trying to gather enough insight to decide on an opinion of him. None of this information was new to Louis. Every drive home from one of Harry’s dates were spent listening to all the new things Harry had learned about Sean. At this point, he could probably write the guy’s biography.

“How old did you say you were?” Louis finally spoke up. All eyes turned to him, Sean looking oddly surprised by the question.

“Nineteen,” he said.

“Yeah, same age as-” but Harry stopped himself, eyes wide and looking directly at Louis, who’s expression would be the same if he wasn’t trying his hardest to refrain. “My sister,” he corrected himself with only a slight hesitation.

“I thought you said your sister was twenty-one?” Sean looked at him.

Louis only took a sip of his tea. Not even he could think of a way for Harry to talk himself out of that one. Even if he were to come clean about his age right now, he couldn’t exactly make the correction smoothly at this point.

“She is! I just meant how old she would’ve been if she started uni right after graduating, like you.” In an attempt to end the uncomfortable situation he found himself in, and to stop himself from talking, Harry took a bite of the sandwich on the plate in front of him.

Sean scrunched up his face and asked, “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled after swallowing a mouthful a food. “Never mind.”

Louis felt bad that he couldn’t help, but now just wasn’t the right time to reveal that secret. What reason did he have to hide his age anyway? Say he was too insecure about it when he first started at Rockcrest, so he just stuck with the story of being a year younger for six years? That happened to be exactly the case, but the explanation was too simple to give out of nowhere like that. Or while Sean, someone he didn’t exactly know, was sitting right there.

After that, Harry distanced himself from the conversation a bit. Sean had the others wrapped up in a story about some wild party he’d been to, which gave Harry the chance to pull out his notebook at do some quick vocab review. That night he had permission, for the first time, to go off campus for the rest of the weekend to stay at Sean’s. That meant this was one of his few chances to revise before his first period quiz on Monday. Louis noticed him doing this right away. It was nothing he wasn’t used to. If anything, Harry could be seen studying at the table more often than not.

Someone who was not used to this was Sean. That must’ve been why he was so shocked to see Harry with his nose in a book the moment he brought his attention back to the boy in front of him.

“What are you doing?” he asked with an irritated tone.

“Sorry, I was just glancing at my notes,” Harry said, closing the notebook right away.

“Is this really the time? While we’re all eating together?”

Not liking the sound of what Sean was saying, Louis was quick to step in. “It’s only lunch. He does it all the time, we don’t mind.”

“I just thought you might be able to take a break for once while your boyfriend was visiting. It’s not like we get a ton of time together since you’re going here. I’d like to think I could take precedence over school once in a while,” Sean breathed a laugh when he said it, but no one else found it funny.

Louis tried not to make the animosity he was feeling visible on his face, but, oh boy, was he feeling it. Did Sean even know what he was saying? The whole reason he met Harry was because of Rockcrest, and he had the nerve to say it was getting in the way of them spending time together? It took every fibre of his being not to get in the middle of what was sure to become an argument, but he had to remember that this was not his fight to fight. As much as he wanted to stand up for his friend, he also didn’t want to interfere in his relationship.

So he decided, for now, to stay quiet.

“I was only- sorry. You’re right, sorry,” Harry repeated. He reached down for his bag and slid the notebook back in.

The table went eerily quiet, no one wanting to make eye contact. TJ let out a loud cough causing Rob to kick him under the table to shut him up. Right away, Sean tried to get back into his story which regained mild interest from the others. Louis, on the other hand, kept most of his attention back on Harry, who did nothing but eat quietly until everyone else was done.

It hadn’t been long, but Louis had definitely made up his mind.

He did not like Sean.

After lunch, Niall suggested everyone hang out back in the common room until practice was set to begin. They played a few rounds of table football and pool, sober this time. Louis had to say, his film posters really did seem to add to the room.

During this time Louis made extra sure that Harry was included in everything they were doing. He usually managed that just fine on his own, but he’d been pretty quiet since the incident in the dining hall. Not that Sean seemed to notice. He was more focused on impressing the guys with simple trick shots he claimed to learn from friends at uni.

Louis was thankful when it was finally time for practice, but he also felt weird about leaving Harry and Sean alone together. Not that they hadn’t been countless numbers of times, but he didn’t know Sean then. He was starting to wish, now, that he met him earlier, only so he knew sooner to be weary.

After getting his bag from his dorm, Louis took the lifts down with Niall since Rob had to leave early to help Coach set up. Louis asked if he should be going early from now on as assistant captain, but Rob assured him it was only to go over plays they were going to practice that day. Nothing he needed to know ahead of time.

“Ah, shit, I forgot my water bottle,” Louis said, realizing it only once the lift doors opened.

“You want me to wait here while you grab it?” asked Niall.

“Nah, you go ahead. I’ll swing by the drink machines and grab one.”

He didn’t mention that he also wanted to take the opportunity to check on Harry one last time before he headed out to the field. It didn’t hurt to make sure he was okay.

Tiptoeing near the entryway, Louis did his best to make his movements as silently as possible. He’d get his water at the end when he no longer cared about being known. Their voices were quiet from the distance, but still clear. As soon as heard something he didn’t think he should hear, he would be out of there. It was just a check-up, was all. Harmless.

But once he made out the beginnings of a conversation, he was more than irritated to hear what was happening. The first voice was clearly Sean’s, followed by Harry.

“Why did you have to embarrass me like that out there? You made me look like an asshole in front of your friends.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Well, I do care. I came here to spend time with you, Harry. Not just hang out with all your friends. Which, by the way, you’ve been paying more attention to than me.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“It is! I don’t want to come in third place to your friends and school work. Your roommate should not have priority over me.”

“I never even said anything about Louis. You did.”

Louis was starting to get the feeling he had approached mid-argument, so there was a few holes in the conversation he was missing.

“Look, I really don’t want us to fight. This weekend was supposed to be fun. That’s not going to happen if we’re angry.”

Was Sean’s voice always this dull and scratchy?

“I don’t want to either. You’re right, I should be paying more attention to us. That’s going to change right now.”

The talking stopped then and the only noise Louis heard sounded like the parting of a kiss. Since no one was around, he didn’t hold back his look of disgust and the gag that left his throat. That was definitely his cue to leave. And begin planning what he was going to eventually say to Sean while trying to refrain from punching him in the jaw.

Just as the water bottle he bought dropped in the machine and Louis bent down to retrieve it, Harry came strolling through the entryway from the common room.

“Hey, Lou. I thought you’d be at practice,” he said.

“I’m heading there now, actually.”

“Oh, I should ask then, do you mind if I borrow a film from your collection? Sean and I were going to watch a movie on my computer.”

“Not at all, go for it.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you after practice to say bye before I leave.”

“Sounds good,” Louis smiled and waved him off. As soon as Harry was up the stairs and out of sight, Louis turned back towards the common room.

This was his chance to give Sean a piece of his mind.

Louis entered the room with his head high and his shoulders back. He only kind-of knew what he was going to say, but it was enough to get him started. As long as he didn’t go too far as to piss Harry off, everything would be fine. Sean maybe just needed a bit of a refresher course on how to treat someone you’re in a relationship with, and Louis had just the lesson plan.

“Hey!” His tone was friendly enough to get Sean’s attention. Starting off on the wrong foot would not be the best idea.

“Oh, hey. Louis, right? What are you doing here?”

Louis’ first instinct was to retaliate with something along the lines of how he lived in this building and could be in the common room all he wanted, but he refrained and kept up the fake smile.

“I actually wanted to know if you had a second to talk?”

“Yeah, I guess. What about?”

The two sat down on opposite couches, keeping a noticeable distance from each other. Sean crossed one leg over so his ankle was balancing on his knee and had his arm stretched across the back rest. Sitting forward in his seat, Louis had his hands folded together in front of him while he gathered his first words.

“Look, around here I’m probably Harry’s closest friend. That means it’s kind of my job to look out for him.”

“Oh, here we go,” Sean rolled his eyes. The action made Louis immediately sit up straight and stare at him, offended.

“Sorry?”

“I get that you’re his friend and you want what’s best for him or whatever, but is that really your job? Harry and I are happy and, quite frankly, don’t need someone to check up on us to make sure everything is okay. We’re having fun, that’s all. Nothing that you need to be concerned about.”

Louis raised his eyebrows and blinked slowly, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.

_Who the fuck does this guy think he is?_

“Right, well. I just want to remind you that while you’re a second year in uni, Harry’s still in high school. He’s still a kid, alright? As easy as you might find it to be, he’s not yours to manipulate.”

“What makes you think that’s what’s happening here?” It was Sean’s turn to sound offended, but Louis wasn’t holding back.

“Don’t think I didn’t catch the way you talked to him at lunch. He doesn’t need you to make him feel bad about himself.”

His tone was getting harsher. He wanted to mention the conversation he just heard and how Sean was taking every accusation Harry made and throwing it back at him. Trying to do whatever he could to make Harry think he was in the wrong instead of Sean. Textbook manipulation.

“I don’t know what you think you know about me, but I’m not _manipulating_ him.”

“What would you call talking down to someone you’re in a relationship with, then?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Listen to me, Sean. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. It may not be my place, but you can bet your ass I’m going to do whatever I can to protect that boy,” he pointed out the doorway to where Harry just left, still holding a steady, intimidating, gaze. “That isn’t a threat, but you should know that I won’t take kindly to someone breaking Harry’s heart. So I wouldn’t want to be in that position, if I were you.”

Holding the stare only a moment longer, Sean said, “Is that all? Are we done here?”

“Yeah, we’re done here.”

Right when Louis moved to stand up, a bright eyed and smiley cheeked boy entered the room once more. He carried his laptop under one arm and a DVD under the other. Louis could tell right away that the cover was for _Ferris Bueller_.

“Oh, I thought you had practice?” Harry said to Louis as soon as their eyes met, tone questioning.

“Yes, I do. I was just trying to get to know Sean, here, a bit better before I was on my way.”

“Yeah? What were you guys talking about?”

Louis could feel Sean’s eyes on him, but he chose not to acknowledge them. He didn’t need help in coming up with an answer, no matter how much Sean thought he might be able to with only a glance.

“He was just telling me how highly he thought of you and how well things are going. Likes your eyes, cute smile, sappy shit like that.” Only then did he look at Sean, more to do him the favour of reassuring the statement. If he wasn’t going to make Harry feel good about himself, Louis could assist in that. Even if it was a lie.

“You’re sweet,” Harry grinned at Sean, who did the same back as Harry returned to his seat right next to him. Louis thanked the heavens that he didn’t have to witness a kiss between them when Harry began to get the DVD set up.

“I’m running late, so I should get to practice. Enjoy the film!” Then he was off and back out the door.

The fresh air from outside cooled off his previous anger from just having to be part of that conversation with Sean. There was nothing at this point that Louis found appealing about him. Sure, he looked good on the outside, but as soon as he opened his mouth, it was all downhill from there.

All Louis could do now, without butting in more than he already had, was hope that Harry would come to his senses sooner rather than later.

If only Harry knew how much better he deserved. And maybe who was willing to give that to him.


	12. Chapter 12

Louis chose not to tell Harry that he hated Sean.

When Harry came home after the weekend, he was happy bubbly and still had that same glow that Louis loved about him. So when he asked Louis what he thought about Sean almost immediately after he walked through the door, Louis couldn’t bring himself to say anything bad. Harry wanted so much for them to get along. He couldn’t disappoint him. So if it took lying to spare his feelings, then so be it.

The week following was Harry’s birthday, so that became the new priority in Louis’ mind. Like himself, Harry was adamant about not doing anything for his birthday. With that said, Louis knew he would love the get-together Louis had planned for him anyway, even with the restrictions of spending it in a boarding school.

So they wouldn’t have to worry about getting caught or being too rowdy, the eight of them gathered in Harry and Louis’ dorm for the party. Since Harry was turning 18, spending the night sober was absolutely out of the question. It was a Friday, which meant having class the next morning wouldn’t be an issue.

They all had to scatter themselves on the floor when the chairs and beds got taken up for seating. Everyone had a drink in hand and Louis even had the nice ladies in the dining hall kitchen make Harry a birthday cake. Of course, after they sang ‘Happy Birthday’, Louis made sure to squish Harry’s face in it. What’s a birthday party without the guest of honour getting a little cake in their hair?

The one thing Harry did win on was his insistence that he didn’t want any gifts. He pleaded every time one of the guys brought it up to not buy him anything. While the others listened, Louis, of course, did not. The gift was small and he gave it to him right after classes so only Harry would know that he went against the rule.

When he opened the gift, Harry was both surprised and happy to see that it was a flask, green in colour and encased in a soft leather fabric. Very fitting for an eighteenth birthday. He lifted it out of the box to realize that it had already been filled. While Louis’ usually held whiskey, he poured rum into Harry’s. It was turning into one of the few types of alcohol that harry could stand the taste of, especially if he was drinking it straight.

As the night went on, the liquor went down easier as they listened to music and told stories and jokes until Louis eventually kicked them out so they could go to sleep. Before that happened, however, it was nice for Louis to be able to just sit there. With his back against the bottom of Harry’s bed where Harry was laying on his stomach and poking his head over Louis’ shoulder, he just enjoyed the company of his friends. Nothing crazy happening, no property damage; conversations he probably wouldn’t even remember a week from now. But the feeling of pure happiness and content in that moment, that was a memory for a lifetime.

Neither of them felt that same happiness and content the next morning while sleeping in well past breakfast, and only just barely making it to lunch. When they got back to the room, Harry was almost sure this was going to be the first time he got sick from drinking, but he managed to keep everything down by going right back to bed and not moving for the next few hours.

“So is that your plan for the rest of the day? To sleep?” Louis asked. For once, it was him sitting at his desk to finish up homework while Harry lay around and do nothing.

“Just until I have to meet Sean,” his voice was muffled by the blankets that covered his face. “I am feeling better, though, thanks for asking.”

Louis ignored the second comment, more intrigued by the first.

“You’re meeting Sean tonight? You just saw him last weekend.”

All at once Harry pushed the blanket down to his waist and sat up.

“You’re joking, right?”

 Louis spun around in his chair, mindlessly chewing on the end on his pen while mumbling “What?” defensively.

“You told me on Sunday you’d drive me. You’re still able to, right?”

The conversation was coming back to him now. Harry was insistent that they leave earlier than their usual time after the sprinklers came on. Louis always figured that it would be harder to sneak out before curfew, but he never realized, until they tried it once a few weeks ago, that walking around campus _before_ curfew made a lot more sense. That is, as long as it was still dark out and no one could see them climbing through the hedge.

“I’m really sorry, man, but I totally forgot. I have two essays due Monday that I haven’t even started yet.”

 “Seriously? I was relying on you for a ride. How else am I supposed to get there?”

Not expecting the outburst, Louis turned around fully this time, brow furrowed and mouth slightly agape.

“I know you were, and I’m sorry I forgot, but I really do have to get these papers done. It’s not like I don’t do you favours. I’ve driven you to every other date you’ve had with him. You can find your own way one time.”

“You couldn’t’ve at least given me a heads-up?” He was getting out of bed now and began gathering his clothes and toiletries to take a shower.

“Harry, I would’ve if I remem-”

“Whatever, I’ll find another way to get there.”

Louis watched Harry wordlessly as he stormed out of the room.

Where the hell did that come from? He could understand being a little grumpy from a hangover, but not being a complete asshole over a little mistake. Harry, of all people, should understand school work having to take priority for once.

When he returned after a few minutes from his shower, he was gone moments later with his textbooks, presumably going to the library. He didn’t even bother asking Louis to come with him.

The sun went down and Louis was still working on his first paper, fingers flying over the keys to create a background track for the music he was listening to. Harry walked in again. Only long enough to drop off his books, pick up a jacket, and do a once-over in the mirror while putting on cologne. Right before he left, Louis told him to have fun and he only mumbled a quiet ‘thanks’ before closing the door.

Whatever episode of teen angst he was going through today, Louis hoped Harry would get over it real quick.

He tried not to let it bother him too much that Harry left with them on a bad note. They weren’t much for fighting, the two of them. Not much for conflict in general, to be honest. But Harry would get over it soon enough. He was almost sure of that.

By nine o’clock that night, Louis finally finished the first essay, a history report on totalitarianism in the twentieth century. He used to pity Harry for having to take both English and History in the same term, but now that he had to, he was really feeling his pain.

Putting the finishing touches on his essay and closing his books for the night, Louis decided the book report could wait for tomorrow. Maybe he could get the film watched before bed, since he wasn’t planning on actually reading the book. Especially not now that it was due Monday. Procrastination definitely won this time. And most other times.

Crawling into bed, Louis brought his computer with him to rest on his lap. He didn’t have the film of course, so he may have downloaded it from some website online. It’s not like the production companies weren’t getting enough money from him to begin with. In this case, he just happened to be on a deadline and couldn’t be bothered to pay.

Right then, as Louis was settling down and ready to hit play, is when he heard the click of the door unlocking. Harry walked in with sopping wet hair and clothes, and an expression of anger and defeat reminiscent to that first day they met last term.

“What happened to you?” Louis asked.

“Sprinklers,” Harry mumbled. He pulled the jacket sleeves off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground, not caring that it would make a puddle on the floor.

“I thought you were out with Sean?”

“I was.”

Louis closed his computer and pushed himself to sit back up. Disappearing into his closet, Harry was already looking for dry clothes.

“Did something go wrong?”

Harry sighed, remerging with a new t-shirt he was in the middle of pulling over his head and his jeans still unbuckled.

“He was mad right from the moment I got there. I took a cab from around the block, but it got kind of lost so I already was late. Then it was bickering back and forth all through drinks and appetizers so I told him we should just go because neither of us were having a good time and he was just _okay_ with it. So I left and came back here and clearly forgot about the sprinklers.”

By the time he was finished speaking Harry was back in pyjama bottoms and collapsed backwards on his own bed.

“Alright, put some jeans back on. We’re going out.” Louis looked down at the dressing gown he was wearing, the one Harry got him, and realized he’d have to change as well.

“Louis, I’m not in the mood for another bar.”

“We’re not going to a bar. We’re going out. It’s your birthday weekend and, frankly, I don’t think you should be allowed to be miserable. C’mon, let’s go.”

Dubiously, Harry still obeyed and they were both out the door within minutes. Louis didn’t tell Harry where they were going because, really, he was quite unsure himself. Like most nights when he snuck off campus with friends, he was just winging it.

Since no plan was made beforehand with Patrick, Louis had to call them a cab and they walked a few blocks to meet it, presumably what Harry had to do earlier that evening. The drive was quiet right from Louis’ house to near the city centre.

“Are you ever going to tell me what we’re doing, or are you just going to tell me to trust you again?” Harry turned to him from the passenger seat.

“What do you think we’re doing?

“I don’t know,” he shrugged with one hand in defeat. As he said it, they were just passing a hotel with signs for a wedding reception. “Crashing a wedding?” he threw out offhandedly.

Louis looked at him curiously, a slight smirk spreading across his face.

“What are you- I was joking!” Harry exclaimed.

“Do you want to?”

“Crash a wedding? Louis, we can’t crash someone’s wedding!”

“Why not? There’s no harm in it. We won’t make a scene. It’ll be like the movie, only we aren’t trying to hit on the guests.”

“What’s the point in it, then?”

Still keeping his eyes on the road, Louis thought about it for a moment, then felt the lightbulb go on.

“We’ll make it a game. Every person or group you talk to, you have to make a new identity for yourself. Name, career, everything. Pretend we’re brothers in some cases or a couple in others. Just see how long it take for us to get caught.”

“This is not going to end well,” said Harry, shaking his head, “but I will admit, it does sound kind of fun.”

Excitedly, Louis turned onto a side street and pulled into the first open space he could find. Before getting out of the car, the two turned to each other to set up a plan.

“We need tuxes. You can’t just walk into a wedding reception in a t-shirt and trousers,” Louis said first.

“It’s nine-thirty on a Saturday. Nothing is going to be open.”

“You never know what a little persuasion can do.”

Louis opened his door, paid the metre, and they were off on a quest for tuxedos.

Now, of course Harry was right about nothing being open. No shop would ever stay open this late on a weekend. Who would even need a tux this late on a Saturday? Two boys looking to crash a wedding, as it turned out.

Very few other people were around as they walked along the pavement. Since Louis parked in a shopping district near that hotel where Harry saw the sign for a wedding reception, there did happen to be quite a few clothing shops in the area.

At every shop they passed, Louis cupped his hands around his eyes and put his face right against the window to search for anyone who might be in sight. Finally, at one of the cheaper-price-looking stores that seemed to sell more everyday clothes rather than formal wear, Louis swore he saw a figure move through the shadows.

“Maybe it was just a ghost,” Harry said, mostly kidding. He was trying to see someone where Louis was looking without seeming as obvious as him. That whole hand cupping thing really would’ve helped with the glare.

“I swear, there was someone walking past the back room.”

If there really was someone there, Harry figured knocking on the window of the door would be the best way to get their attention.

“What are you doing?!” Louis whisper-yelled.

“I’m trying to see if anyone is here.”

“That’s not going to help. They’ll think we’re trying to break in.”

“Yeah, I’m sure knocking to get someone’s attention is exactly what a burglar would do before smashing through a storefront window.”

As luck would have it, Louis turned out to be right about what he thought he saw. A small and thin older man, well into his 60s, stepped out of the back room long enough to make a gesture to shoo them away. Scrambling to do so before the man left again, Louis pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and waved a note that he found in the back fold in front of the window. The man stared at him for a moment, then back at the back room, then began to reluctantly approach the door.

With a proud smile, Louis stepped back to give the man enough room to open the door, Harry another step behind him.

“We’re not open, we’re just in the middle of inventory. What do you boys need?” The shopkeeper asked. He held the door open with one arm, but stood well enough in the way so that they couldn’t sneak past him.

“We’re in a hurry and really needed to get some formal-type clothes. Blazers, button-ups, whatever you have. I’ll pay you twice what’s one the tag if you let us in,” Louis said.

The shopkeeper eyed them both.

“What do you need new clothes for at this time of night?”

The boys both looked at each other for a moment until one of them could come up with something. Harry was the first to speak.

“My sister’s wedding,” he said quickly, “We’re coming from out of town and our flight was delayed so we missed the ceremony. They also lost our luggage so we have nothing to wear. Please, we promise we’ll be fast. I really don’t want to miss the reception too.”

Louis tried not to look as shockingly impressed as he was with Harry’s acting skills. The lie was complex enough to be real, and had an element of distress that would make the intended recipient feel bad for them. In his mind, Louis was giving Harry a round of applause.

The shopkeeper’s expression softened and he stepped out of the way to let them in.

“You have ten minutes,” he said.

Once they were dressed and ready and Louis paid the bill, they were off in their new clothes. Both of them wore button ups with the top few buttons undone, Louis’ shirt being blue while Harry’s was all black and they each picked out a pair of fitted black trousers. The same type of black fitted blazer hung over both of their shoulders since it was the only style the store carried. Louis opted to roll the sleeves up a bit on his so they would at least look a bit different. The outfits weren’t tuxes, but they would do for a simple wedding.

As they walked through the doors into the hotel lobby, Harry and Louis tried their best to look like they were meant to be there. Hands in pockets and stride confident, they followed the signs directing them to the lifts and up to the ballroom where the reception was being held. The plan was simple, come up with as many different backstories as they could before getting caught. And maybe take advantage of the free food and drinks. There was no harm in that.

“Alright, I’ll pretend that I’m-”

“No, no,” Harry stopped him just as they were passing the coat room on the tenth floor. Music from the reception hall was blaring through the doors along with the sounds of dishes clinking, chatter, and laughter. “We can’t plan ahead of time. That ruins it. The identities have to be on the spot.”

“Fine, but we have to go along with anything the other says then. Like the improv game.”

“Yeah, exactly. We got this.”

Walking into the reception hall was like walking right into the middle of the dance floor. As in, almost the entire room had been turned into a dance floor, minus the opposite end of the room where most of the elderly guests had occupied.

Since it was an open bar, that’s where they were headed first. A group of four middle-aged looking women stood near it, laughing over the music.

“Ladies,” Louis said charmingly in greeting while Harry was ordering rum and Cokes for the two of them.

“Oh, hello. I don’t believe we’ve met,” the loudest of the group said in a low tone. She held a glass of red wine in her manicured hands and her blonde hair was done high in a classic up-do.

“I’m Jonathan, cousin of the bride,” Louis said, thinking of the first name that popped into his head. The brunette woman standing behind the loud one was eyeing Harry with a smirk. He tried his best to smile back without looking as uncomfortable as he felt.

“And this is my fiancée…” he turned to Harry and the smile from the brunette fell. Harry turned his head in surprise at the word, but recovered just as quickly.

“Niall,” Harry finished. Louis had to look at the ground and bite the insides of his cheeks to stop himself from laughing.

“Oh, congratulations!” Another woman standing behind them said.

The expression on the blonde one in the front hardened.

“That’s interesting because I’m the sister of the bride.”

Louis felt all the colour drain from his face. He turned to look at Harry who’s eyes went wide, stance now ready to bolt if need be.

The woman let her comment sit a bit longer before bursting out into laughter, the ones behind her joining in. Unsure what other option they had, Harry and Louis did the same, waiting for some sort of explanation.

One thing was clear at this point, these women were very drunk.

“I’m just kidding!” She claimed, laughing harder. “C’mon, do some shots with us!”

That was something the boys did understand. The woman ordered six shots of tequila for them all. By the look on his face, Louis could tell Harry was having flashbacks to that mistake of a night when too much tequila resulted in Liam waking up in the courtyard, as they all took the shot.

Knowing he would have to drive later, Louis decided to be done with drinks for the night right there, and instead would just nurse his rum and Coke as long as he could. When they left the group of women, who were getting a bit too comfortable around them for their liking, they decided to walk around for a moment, skillfully avoiding the bride and groom.

“You boys look too young not to be out there dancing with the rest of ‘em,” and older man who was sitting at a table said as they walked by. He could easily be a grandfather to one of the happy couple, even had a cane he was resting his chin on.

“We were just headed there now, actually,” Louis told him.

“You must be Harry,” the old man said, but he was looking at Louis. How this man would even know one of them to be Harry, neither had any clue.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Louis decided to just go with it anyway. Harry tried to side-eye him, but he didn’t return the glance.

“So nice to meet you. Your best man speech was wonderful tonight. Great job.”

He didn’t want to laugh at the mistake, but Louis smiled anyway and said, “Thank you.” Either this man must’ve had poor eyesight or Louis’ doppelgänger was around here somewhere.

“And who’s this?” The man looked at Harry. The real Harry, that is.

“I’m Lloyd, his brother.” _Lloyd, really?_ “It’s great to meet you,” Harry smiled at him, then gave Louis a look that said they really needed to move on.

When they finally got away to a corner where no one could hear them, Louis blurted, “So now we’re both engaged, and brothers?”

“That’s the game! Don’t forget you’re the best man now, too. If that guy talks to those women at the bar, we are sc-rewed,” Harry emphasized each syllable before laughing and taking a large gulp of his drink. When he raised his hand, Louis noticed the ring he had on his middle finger, and looked down to see that he had another on the pointer finger of his other hand. As fast as the idea came to his mind, Louis grabbed his hand and pulled the ring off of his finger.

“What the hell, man?” Harry said, yanking his hand back, but Louis already had the ring.

He slipped it onto the ring finger of his left hand and showed Harry, “If we’re going to be fake engaged we gotta look the part. Could even pretend to be married if we wanted.”

“What happened to no planning beforehand?”

“It’s our game, we can change the rules.”

“We don’t look any older than we are. No one’s going to think we’re married.”

“Maybe we were just lucky and figured it out young.”

Without being able to come up with another argument, Harry shrugged and slid the ring off and put it one finger over. It had blue gems in it and didn’t look much like a wedding ring at all, but it would do.

“By the way,” Louis asked, “Why did you pick the name Lloyd?”

“Lloyd and Harry? Come on, even I’ve seen _Dumb and Dumber_.”

“ _Dumb and Dumber_ , of course!”

Louis had to hand it to him for that movie reference. Not even he, the movie buff himself, thought of that one.

Throughout the night they used the married identity on and off, as so the rings came on and off. Sometimes they would say it was to each other and sometimes to a “mystery” spouse that was somewhere else. After they ended up on the dance floor, they got separated for a while. Louis told a group of younger people that he was an aspiring actor and named off a bunch of movies that he apparently had small roles in. None of them were real roles of course, but Louis made quite the point of insistence. When a girl began flirting with him, he went off about how he was a world traveller and photographer and all the places he’d been to in an attempt to impress her, then made a point at the end to flash Harry’s ring again and say that he was married.

So maybe it was a little mean to lead her on like that, but Louis was really liking this whole fake marriage thing. He could get used to wearing a ring on his finger. Not now, of course- he was far too young- but someday, definitely.

Harry’s ideas for different people were much more inside the box. He tended to stay within the barriers of university students with different majors when he was alone. For one person, though, he did pretend to be American and faked the accent, much to Louis’ dismay since he was standing right next to him, and going with the siblings angle. But you had to go along with what the other said, that was the only way it would work. The accents were so horrible they were pretty sure the guy didn’t believe it for a second, but who cared at that point? They’d been there long enough, anyway.

When suspicion started to arise, they figured it would be best to quit while they were ahead. Sneaking out along the back wall, Louis was sure he noticed the groom point in their direction just before they escaped out the entrance they came in.

Stepping into the lift, Harry pressed the button for the top floor instead of the main one. Louis looked at him confusedly.

“The roof,” Harry smirked, “I want to see if we can get up there.”

The doors opened to a general floor, one without any sort of hall or other amenities. Not only was there a door to the stairwell for the roof, but a sign right on it. Harry walked over first with Louis on his heels. He turned his head from side to side to make sure no one was around they reached for the handle.

“It’s gotta be lock-” but before Louis could finish his sentence, he heard a click from the turn and Harry had the door opened.

The roof was all pavement with a short wall surrounding it. Nothing at all was up there besides open space, but that wasn’t what was important.

City lights from cars to houses to the buildings glowed all around them. The almost full-moon reflected amongst the stars. Just from being up so high, Louis was filled with energy, almost an excitement from the view. He felt like he could hold the whole city in the palm of his hand. Below them the cars were so tiny he could squish them like ants between his fingers. Up here, he was powerful. Up here, he was free.

Harry started running towards the edge and that was enough to pull Louis from his trance and give him a mini heart attack. Thankfully, Harry slowed down right before he reached it and only leaned against the bit of wall encasing them.

“It’s so weird how little you can hear up here,” he said when Louis appeared at his side. “I can see so much happening at once, but there’s no sound. It’s a lot more peaceful that way.”

“Like you’re watching life on mute.”

“And I don’t even have to be a part of it.”

“Would you be someone else for a day, if you could?”

“I think so. But I’d want it to be someone who leads a simple life. Like a monk.”

“Not sure how great you’d look bald.”

Harry nudged Louis in the ribs for the comment, smiling now. Until then, Louis didn’t even realize they were standing so close they were touching.

“Who would you be if you could be someone else for a day?” Harry returned the question.

“I’d like to be you, I think.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, see how your brain really works. Find out what it’s like to know everything.”

Harry snorted, “I don’t know _everything_.”

 _No, you really don’t,_ Louis thought.

Realizing now how cold it was being so high up, Louis unrolled the sleeves on his blazer to keep his arms warm. Considering it was February, now was probably not the best time to be hanging out on the roof of a twenty story building, but Louis didn’t mind the cold too much. He was having too good of a time to leave now.

Soon, staring at the view in front of him of the late-night city turned into staring at the boy next to him. Harry didn’t notice right away. He was either too deep in thought or too focused on something down on the streets that caught his eye. But Louis was discovering how hard it would be if he tried to look away from him.

That glow that Louis always saw around him wasn’t from the moonlight. He already knew that, but it was more evident than ever right now. The glow wasn’t something to envy, it was something to admire. He didn’t think he’d ever met someone else who had it before. This was something unique to Harry. Something Harry didn’t even know himself that he had.

When Louis lifted a hand to Harry’s cheek, he didn’t really know what he was doing. His body was moving involuntarily, but if he had control of it, he was sure he’d probably be doing the same anyway. Then when Harry’s face turned to his, he definitely knew what he was doing. He leaned forward. Their lips only brushed together at first, unsure, but still longing.

And then they were kissing.

Softly and slowly, but still with purpose, they were kissing. Harry turned away from the wall so he could pull Louis closer to him. The movements were still sweet and innocent. He didn’t know it before, but this was something Louis had been waiting for. Maybe a lot longer than he ever thought.

“What are you doing up here?!” A harsh voice sounded from across the roof as a flashlight shined near their faces. They pulled apart frantically, both turning towards the source of the light to see what a security guard approaching them.

At the same time, they ran right past the guard and down the stairs. Louis made sure to close the door behind them to buy extra time, but he wasn’t too concerned about outrunning the man. The width of his waist looked to be near half his height.

When they reached the twentieth floor again, they ran to the lifts first, pressing the button to close the doors over and over again until they did so. Down the hall the man could be heard breathing heavily as he tried to catch up and was yelling for them to stop.

Taking in the minute it took for them to reach the main floor again, Louis tried to regroup his thoughts. He really did just kiss Harry. That was definitely something that just happened. And Harry kissed him back. Like _really_ kissed him back.

This might take more than a minute to process.

“That was close,” Harry said, catching his breath. Louis wasn’t sure he remembered to breathe at all.

“Yeah, it was.”

And then, through the silence at they stood on opposite ends of the small lift, Harry started laughing. Head back against the wall and arms folded in front of him, he just laughed. Louis stared at him for a moment, then turned his head away to do the same. No words were exchanged between them, only a quick glance, and they laughed until they reached the ground floor.

Louis walked out first, hands casually in his pockets the same way they were when they first entered the building. It had to be after midnight now, maybe even into the early morning. A feeling of elation overtook him as they exited the building, the night air enveloping them. Not as cold this time, but a light snow now fell. The first since Christmas, actually.

They walked down the empty street, close, but not touching, until they reached the car. Neither were really sure what to say, how to proceed. They were in uncharted territory now. Nothing had prepared them for this.

Louis started the car and pulled out of the stall quickly since no one else was around. He didn’t bother with turning the radio on, even though the silence was getting uncomfortable.

“Tonight was fun,” Harry said finally.

Louis wasn’t sure which part he was talking about, but it didn’t matter. Whatever he meant, Louis agreed.

“I’d say we should do it again sometime, but maybe not. Crashing the wedding, I mean. Not…”

“No, yeah, I know.” Wow, this was a lot more uncomfortable than Louis expected it to be.

Looking down at his hand, he realized he was still wearing Harry’s ring on his left ring finger. Feeling a bit silly for having it on, he pulled it off while keeping his wrists on top of the wheel.

“Here. I forgot about this,” he said, handing it back to Harry.

“Oh, right,” taking it from his hand, he slid it back onto his pointer finger carelessly. “You know,” Harry said, “I wouldn’t exactly be against crashing a wedding again.”

“No?”

“I mean, those guys in the movie made a whole hobby of it.”

“As long as we don’t get too caught up in the lie, we’re golden.”

They were almost out of the city now. The lights fading into the dark rolling fields around the back roads.

“If I could pick any film, I don’t think _Wedding Crashers_ would be the one I’d want to model my life after,” Louis commented.

“Which would you pick, then? And please don’t say _Ferris Bueller_ again. I know how much you want to fuck him, but…” Louis playfully shoved Harry to the side before he could even finish the statement.

“Fine then, what movie would _you_ pick? Besides _Wedding Crashers_.”

Harry took a moment to consider the question. “Maybe _The Avengers_? I’d want to be Captain America.”

“Captain America? Come on, if you’re going to be an Avenger, Iron Man is the only way to go.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t have any _real_ super powers.”

“Having the brain of Tony Stark is better than any super power.”

“Well, you can have your own wrong opinion, I guess,” Harry shrugged, staring out his window.

Louis laughed when he turned his head to look at Harry, glad to see he was smiling too.

As Louis curved around a bend, he soon noticed a car stopped in the middle of the road on his side of the two lane highway. Reacting as fast as he could, he tried to swerve into the other lane. Headlights were coming at them fast on the other side of the road and Louis tried his best not to panic.

Pulling the steering wheel back to get in his own lane, he could feel the tires start to spin on the icy winter roads. The car going the other way passed them on the shoulder. Trying to regain control, he turned the wheel to the left, causing a car to drift horizontally across the road. Quicker than he should have, Louis tried to turn the wheel again and saw their own car’s headlights flash across the snow covered road as they spun in a full circle. He lifted his foot off the pedal completely and tried for the break as they were headed for the ditch.

Bracing for impact, Harry grabbed the dashboard with one hand and his locked door handle with the other. The car hit a tree hard enough to smash the hood, but they were stopped. No more movement meant no more damage could be done.

The car was too old to have airbags, but the seatbelts seemed to do the trick.

“Are you okay?” Louis said quickly. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to Harry.

“Yeah, I think so. Are you?”

“I think so.”

Doing a once over, they searched for cuts and injuries. Both were in the clear. Very shaken up, probably would be feeling the whiplash tomorrow, but okay.

“Holy shit,” Louis sighed back into his seat. He still wasn’t exactly sure what just happened. His body acted robotically in response. The fact that they were alive and unharmed was surprising in itself.

“Uh, Louis,” Harry said, pointing to the rear view mirror at the flashing red and blue lights behind them back on the road.

Louis turned around to get a better look before mumbling, “Shit. This is going to be a problem.”

“Why?”

“My name isn’t on the paperwork for the car.”

“Whose is, then?”

“My dad’s.”


	13. Chapter 13

Finch’s office felt a lot smaller when you tried to cram so many people in there. Harry and Louis sat in the middle of it in two leather chairs. They were on trial for what felt like everyone they knew to see, just waiting to find out their sentence.

Neither of the boys slept at all the night before. When the accident happened the car that was driving the other way that they almost hit turned out to be a cop. She was responding to reports of the abandoned car in the middle of the road and saw the whole thing happen, which would’ve been good in any other circumstance. Not so much when you’re out because you snuck away from your boarding school.

Since Louis’ name wasn’t on the car’s registration or insurance, the officer had to call the person whose name was to report the incident, which was, in fact, Louis’ dad.

He was furious, of course. Louis expected nothing less of a reaction. During the short phone call between them, he didn’t remember much through the screaming. What he did pick up, besides “How could you be so irresponsible?” and “Wait until your mother hears about this,” was “I’ll be seeing you in Finch’s office tomorrow morning.” And he wasn’t lying.

At 8AM the next morning they didn’t get a note slid under their door. This time it was Liam, their year’s prefect, accompanied by a security guard from the main offices.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked Liam. He was the one who answered the door.

“Finch wants to see all of us in his office. Needed to make sure we went,” he nodded towards the guard behind him.

Louis turned around to look at Harry. He was sitting on his bed with his knees up, looking straight ahead and chewing on one of his fingernails. They’d only gotten back about two hours earlier since they had to go down to the station in the city to file a report. Since then, Harry had recited every possible resulting scenario he could think of to Louis while he paced the room. When he was finally near tears from stress, Louis sat next to him on the bed with an arm around him as he assured him everything was going to be okay.

He knew why this mattered so much to Harry. Harry was here on a scholarship. Disciplinary actions were not taken lightly against scholarship students.

He could be expelled. And it was all Louis’ fault.

Neither of them had to worry about getting dressed since they were still wearing the clothes from the night before. Those same button-ups and blazers, only minus the blazers. Louis went for his denim jacket this time. Harry shakily took zip-up sweater off the foot of his bed and followed the rest of them out of the room.

“I heard what happened,” Liam said to Louis. Harry was only a few steps ahead as they crossed the courtyard, but wasn’t listening. “Are you guys okay?”

“Physically, yes. Just a little sore.”

“Mentally? Emotionally?”

“No. Scared. Well, Harry is. And I am for him.”

“Finch isn’t going to expel you, not if your dad has anything to do with it.”

“And he’s not going to expel Harry, either, if I have anything to do with it.”

So there they were, sitting in the middle of Headmaster Finch’s office, while everyone stared down at them with a look of utmost disappointment. Finch, Liam, Mr. Tomlinson, even Patrick and Coach Evans were asked to come in. Harry’s mum couldn’t be there, but Finch assured that he already called her and filled her in on the details. Louis wished the looks were directed at him more than Harry. Everything was his idea, right from the start. Harry shouldn’t even be here. It wasn’t his fault.

“Six months,” Finch said sternly. Loud, but not yelling, “That’s how long you’ve been going behind this school’s back. Six months.”

It had actually been two years, but Louis would have to be absolutely insane to correct him on that.

“I’ve had the guards going over tapes all morning, so don’t even try to tell me otherwise. Leaving campus without permission is strictly prohibited, something you both should know. While you are at Rockcrest you are under the supervision of the staff at this school.” A bit of spit flew from his mouth and landed on the desk in front of him. “Anything that could happen to you is our responsibility. You should be as appalled by your own behaviour as everyone else standing in this room.”

The statement was a harsh blow. Louis looked at Harry’s face to make sure he was okay. His face was red from embarrassment, maybe fear, but no tears.

“I understand that you have not been alone this. Our school’s chauffeur, Patrick, and one of our prefects, Mr Payne, have both been aware of your weekly absences from Rockcrest. Is that correct?”

“Hold on, they had nothing to do with this!” Louis arose from his chair and pointed where the two of them were stood near the window.

“Sit down, Louis!” Mr Tomlinson commanded. He was standing behind Finch’s desk. Louis had never seen him look as angry as he had since he walked in the office this morning. Slowly, he lowered himself back into the seat.

“Let’s start with Mr Payne, then,” Finch continued. “Liam, as prefect, you are required to report any and all instances of rule breaking that you either witness or are told of. Withholding information is simply not tolerated. You will be relieved of your prefect duties starting immediately. You will also be serving a week of detentions starting on Monday.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong!” Louis opposed.

“Quiet!” Mr Tomlinson almost shouted this time, but tried to remain calm.

“Is that understood, Liam?” Finch asked.

“Yes, sir.”

Louis tried to make eye contact with him so he could see how sorry he was that all of this was happening, but Liam only stared at the ground.

“You may be dismissed, then.”

Liam left the room without another word. The sound of the door closing behind him echoed through the intensity of the room.

“As for you, Patrick, I’m required to speak with you privately about the matter. Please wait outside until I’m finished with the boys.”

Patrick followed as directed and Louis turned around in his seat to watch him leave, face suddenly riddled with panic.

“You aren’t going to fire him, are you?”

“That isn’t a matter for me to discuss with you,” Finch said, tone final.

This couldn’t be happening. This could _not_ be happening. Liam lost his prefect status, Patrick was getting fired. They didn’t stand a chance.

None of this was supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to get caught. Louis had put so much thought and effort into making sure every part the scheme was covered up so no one would have to face any consequences, but it was all for naught.

It was still his fault.

He let all these people trust him because he thought he knew what he was doing. Nothing seemed like a big deal at the time, not when you were someone who could get away with everything. The most Louis had ever been in trouble for something he’d done was a detention. But he was wrong for being so careless. He was stupid and he was wrong. This was more than detention. It was all over.

The room was getting too warm. Louis wasn’t sure he could breathe.

“Now, for you two. You’ve broken my trust and you’ve broken this school’s trust. At this point, I’m not really sure what you can do to earn that back. After all these years, I can’t say I’m surprised,” Finch looked directly at Louis who only sunk lower in his seat. He had no fight left in him, nothing to defend himself with. The battle was over and he lost. Big time.

“A few months ago, Harry, I remember telling you to stay away from this boy. That all he’s been is trouble. I can see you clearly did not take my advice.” This was a fact Louis was completely unaware of until now. Hearing Finch say that right to his face stung a bit, but his skin was growing tougher. He could take it.

Finch was talking directly to Louis now, “Through the pranks, skipping classes, smoking in the common room, and constant attitude, I didn’t think there was much more you could do to end up in here once again. But I see I was wrong. And I have to say, I’m quite disappointed, as I’m sure your father, here, is too.”

“Finch, I hate to interrupt,” it was Coach Evans talking, “but I think that’s a little unfair to say. While I understand the severity of this situation, I don’t think belittling a student is the way to get through to them.”

“Headmaster Finch isn’t wrong,” Mr Tomlinson said. “Louis has been given more than his share of opportunities to clean up his act and he has never taken one. Whatever punishment you chose to give him, below expulsion of course, I fully support.”

“I’m glad you brought that up. To calm both of your nerves, I suppose I should advise you that I won’t be expelling either of you today,” Finch sighed and leaned back in his chair. He folded his hands and rested them over his large belly. “Harry, you are one of the brightest students Rockcrest has seen, so we won’t be letting you go that easily. With that said, you will be serving a month’s worth of detentions, as well as weekend custodial duties for the rest of the year. I would say that’s more than fair, considering the circumstances.”

Harry only nodded wordlessly. No “yes, sir.” Just acceptance.

“And you, Louis. Along with a month of detentions and custodial duties with Harry, you are also banned from extracurricular activities for the rest of your time here at Rockcrest. That includes the football team.”

Louis’ jaw physically dropped at the sound of the words. He looked at Coach Evans first, who couldn’t even meet his eye, then to Harry, whose expression held sympathy that wasn’t enough.

“You can’t be serious,” he said finally, almost laughing. “The season’s almost over! We only have a month left until the finals.”

“It’s for your own good, Louis. You’ll be able to focus more on your studies and stay out of trouble,” said Mr Tomlinson.

“Focus more on my studies? Was the mark increase from failing to honours in half my courses in three months not good enough for you, dad? You wanted Harry to rub off on me, well, he did.” Louis was out of his chair, voice almost at a yell. “You know how many detentions I’ve gotten this year before today? Two. That’s only one more than Harry has, and the other was to save a friend’s ass from getting caught smoking. Oh yeah, did I mention I quit smoking? Not like you would think to ask, anyway.”

He was pretty sure he was going crazy now. He felt pretty crazy. Words kept coming out of his mouth and he couldn’t really control what they were saying. He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling.

“Bet you didn’t know I broke up with my boyfriend, either. That was almost five months ago now. You didn’t even ask about him once since you met him over the summer. I can’t say I’m surprised, though, considering you can’t handle the idea that your son would prefer to fuck boys.”

Finch’s eyes widened, though it was unclear whether it was about the language or what Louis just openly admitted to everyone in the room. Not that he cared in the slightest what Finch thought right about now.

“Louis, that is enough!” His father stepped out from behind the desk and pointed a finger, “I will not be spoken to this way. You will not embarrass me in front of these people. I should cut you off, on top of everything else!”

“Cut me off, then. Ban me from doing the one thing I enjoy at this school. Force me to go to detention every day for the next month and clean toilets every weekend. Do your worst, because I give up.”

He turned around and walked towards the door.

“We aren’t finished here, Louis!” Mr Tomlinson called after him.

“I am,” he shrugged, and walked right out the door.

He didn’t look at anyone else as he walked through the main offices just to reach outside. He needed air, and bad. Even more than that, he needed a cigarette. Quitting be dammed.

Every movement he took now came solely from adrenalin. He was overtired from lack of sleep, beyond angry and humiliated from what just happened back there, and felt like an absolute pile of shit for the mess he caused for everyone. He disappointed his father, his coach, his friends, Harry; everyone he cared about.

Finch was right. He was nothing but trouble.

Louis kept walking until he reached the maths and sciences building. Behind it was where the smokers would usually hang out. It was also where he and Zayn used to sneak off to during class to have a moment alone together.

And as luck would have it, the only person there, leaning against the wall with a lit cigarette between his lips, was Zayn.

“Do you have a smoke?” Louis said as he approached him.

“I thought you quit.”

“I did. Today is an exception.”

Zayn dug into his coat pocket for a moment to find his pack, then held one out to Louis in offering before finding his lighter. He only ever bought white lighters, something Louis never understood. There was a superstition about the bad luck white lighters would bring, especially to young musicians after they kept getting found in the pockets of some of the ones who died. Considering his mum was in the business, it would make sense that Zayn would be weary. When asked about it, he would only say, “I won’t let someone else’s beliefs dictate my life.” He probably thought he sounded profound when he said it. If you asked Louis, it made him sound like a hypocrite.

Louis took a deep breath of the smoke, letting the familiar taste explore his lungs. After only one drag, he wasn’t so sure anymore how much he missed it.

Taking a look at Louis up and down, Zayn asked, “Are you okay?”

And that was enough to break him.

Covering his eyes with one hand, he tried to stop any tears before they came, but it was too late. His breathing shortened and he started hiccupping. Right in front of Zayn, he was crying.

For the first moment, Zayn didn’t know what to do. Then he dropped his own cigarette to stomp it out, took Louis’ out of his hand to throw it to the ground, and pulled him into his arms.

They stood there for minutes, Louis shaking and crying into Zayn’s shoulder, and Zayn just holding him. Trying to comfort his friend.

“I really fucked up,” Louis said, trying to control his sobs.

“I know, but you’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Sometimes, when you’ve been suffering so long in silence, you just need someone to let you know that everything is going to be okay.

Zayn held him until he calmed down, then led him to the wall where they could sit with their backs against it, and Louis told him the whole story. With his dad, what Finch said to him, what happened to Liam and Patrick.

What happened with Harry.

And Zayn listened. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t yawn or look disinterested in any way. He sat there with Louis and listened to his problems and let him cry it out until his eyes were dry. There wasn’t much he could say, and Louis didn’t expect him to say much, but here was there to listen. All Louis needed, for now, was someone to listen.

“You could try to fight it, maybe,” Zayn offered. “To get back on the team and Patrick his job back.”

“I can’t,” he held his head in his hands, “I’m done fighting them. I fucked up and these are the consequences. I give up.”

“Since when are you someone who gives up?”

“What other choice do I have? It’s Finch and my dad, the two people who antagonize me the most. What makes you think they’ll listen to me?”

“No one is going to make you oppose anything. You’re allowed to just accept the consequences and move on, if that’s what you want to do. You won’t get blamed for wanting to catch a break for once.”

Louis sighed and rested his head on Zayn’s shoulder.

“They probably hate me now. Patrick… Liam… Harry…”

“I don’t think you have to worry much about Liam. I’m pretty sure he was getting tired of being prefect anyway. I mean, it’s not like he was that great at it. What prefect gets sloshed in the common room with his friends after hours?”

That made Louis laugh, surprisingly.

“I guess you’re right, but that doesn’t make what I did less bad.”

“Maybe, but think about it this way, did sneaking off campus make you a bad person?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Exactly. All you did was break a stupid rule. It’s not what you did that was bad, it was the repercussions of doing it.”

“Does that really make it any better, though?”

“It might not weigh as heavy on your conscience.”

“I made Patrick lose his job, Zayn.”

“Patrick is a grown man. He knew this could happen if you ever got caught and he could’ve said no. He deserves just as much of the blame as you do.”

Louis didn’t have a reply for that.

“How’s your conscience now?” Zayn asked.

“Feels like I’m walking up a steep hill with a backpack full of bricks.”

“I’m sure you’ll drop a few on the way to the top.”

Louis stayed there a few moments longer, feeling safe in the isolation from the rest of the school. He wondered how long it would take for the news to get around. Maybe it’ll be nice when everyone knows he got kicked off the team. Maybe they’ll stop caring so much about everything he did.

When he stood up to leave he only felt a little bit better. His anger was still bubbling and guilt was eating him up inside, but he was going to be okay. All he wanted to do for now was go back to the dorm and sleep.

Zayn gave him a parting hug before he left. This was the most they’ve interacted in months.

“Finch was wrong, but the way, when he said you were nothing but trouble. No one with your empathy could be labeled as trouble. You’re a really good guy, you know.”

Louis walked backwards a few steps with a tight-lipped smile.

“Thanks, man,” he said. “For everything.”

“Anything, for a friend.”

Louis walked alone across campus. A few people spared him a glance, but no one approached him. Thank God for that. He just wanted to be alone.

The dorms felt like ages away. The fact that he hadn’t slept in 24 hours was really getting to him now. He wondered if he would even be able to sleep. Part of him hoped Harry wouldn’t be there so he could have a bit more time on his own. He didn’t feel like explaining himself again.

As soon as he opened the door he was met by open arms and Harry immediately speaking in the way his mother would.

“You’re back! I was getting worried. Are you alright? You smell like smoke. No one had any idea where you went. You left so angry, I just- Are you alright?”

“Harry, stop,” Louis said. The tone was much harsher than he intended, causing Harry to let go and take a step back. “Sorry,” he said again.

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I am sorry. I’m sorry all this happened. Yesterday was supposed to be fun and make you feel better, not almost kill you and put you on the brink of expulsion from school.”

“Louis, it’s okay. We’re alive. We didn’t get expelled. We’re fine.”

“Are you mad that I kissed you?” He blurted.

Louis wasn’t sure where his brain was, exactly. It felt like a pinball machine up there. His thoughts bouncing around like the little metal ball. But when he was face-to-face with Harry again, alone, that kiss was all he could think about.

“Why would I be mad about that?”

“You know why.”

Harry just stood there, looking at him for a moment. It felt weird to just be standing in the middle of their room while having a conversation, but sitting wouldn’t have felt right either.

“Sean, right? That’s why you think I’m mad?”

Louis nodded.

“I’m not _mad_. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt from this.”

“You mean me, don’t you?”

“Louis…”

Nope, this wasn’t going to work either. He had to get out of here next. He needed somewhere to go where he’d be away from everyone. No friends, no family, no one. He just wanted to get away.

A knock sounded on the door just before he opened it to leave the room. He swung it wider, then turned away the second he saw who it was.

“Of fucking course!” He shouted.

Sean stood in the doorway, more confused than anything.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked coldly.

“I came to apologize for last night. Is this a bad time?”

“Yes, it’s a bad time!” Louis shouted. “You actually couldn’t have picked a worse time to be here. The last person I want to see after the hell we’ve just been through this morning, is my best friend’s asshole boyfriend.”

“What did you just say to me?” Sean spit, shoving Louis back into the room.

Louis was not about to take that.

“You heard what I said.” Without hesitation, he shoved back.

“Louis, don’t,” Harry warned, but Louis ignored him.

“You do nothing but treat him like shit. You talk down to him, make him feel like he’s always in the wrong. He deserves so much better than you, you know that?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re a piece of shit.”

Then Sean shoved him again, and Louis grabbed the collar of his shirt. He pushed him back into the hallway until his back hit hard against the wall.

“What are you doing?!” Harry shouted, following them into the hall. He looked like it was about to step in to separate them, but realized he couldn’t do it on his own.

Sean dragged Louis to the ground so he was on top of him, but Louis grabbed Sean’s wrists before he could take a swing. He managed to push Sean off of him and stand back up before he could free his hands. Just as they were back on their feet, Sean grabbed Louis by his shoulders again.

Louis’ blood was boiling. He’d never hit anyone before, never wanted to or really had a reason. He was almost sure that today was going to break that streak.

A voice shouted “Hey!” from behind Sean. Louis could see Niall and Jonathan running at them from their doorway down the hall. He blocked Sean’s first punch with his arm, then he was being pulled away before another could be thrown. Niall had his arms around Louis’ waist, dragging him backwards, while Jonathan was in front of Sean pushing him back.

“What is wrong with you two? What are you doing?” Niall stepped between them after letting Louis go.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Louis said. His tone sounded calm, but he was the complete opposite.

“What do you mean?” asked Harry. They were all standing in a circle in the hall, distancing themselves from each other, Harry right in front of their open dorm room.

“I need to leave,” Louis pushed past Harry to get his phone and wallet off his night table right next to the door. That was all he needed. Everything else could stay.

“Where are you going?” Niall called after him. Louis was headed for the stairs, walking at first, then speeding up until he was in a full sprint.

“Louis!”

He didn’t say anything in reply.

He ran across campus, not caring about anyone who looked at him funny. He had to leave. Leaving was the reason for half of these problems to begin with, but it was the only way he could think to escape them. He ran right through the front gates and passed security and kept going until he could barely even see the school anymore. He’d run until his legs were tired and he’d have to call for a car to help him get away.

Louis was leaving Rockcrest, and this time, he wasn’t coming back.


	14. Chapter 14

The dorm room was empty. Well, not really. The beds were still there, the desks, the mini fridge that was in desperate need of restocking. All his stuff was there, but he wasn’t. So the room felt empty.

Harry felt empty.

He missed Louis. He really missed him. He wanted his best friend back.

It had been almost two weeks since he left, but Harry hadn’t heard from him at all. Not a phone call, not even a text. No one else had heard anything from, or about, him either, that he knew of. Only the new prefect who said that someone would be coming in the next few days to get Louis’ stuff. That’s when the dorm really would be empty. Harry wondered if they would make him room with someone else, if there somehow managed to be an odd number of people, but there wasn’t anyone else he’d rather live with.

Everything got harder after Louis left, and it wasn’t only because he was gone. Detentions were getting harder to sit through since studying wasn’t allowed. Nothing was allowed in detention except to just sit there and wait for the hour to go by. He had Liam with him for the first week so the silent company made it a bit more tolerable. If the supervisor happened to step out for a few minutes, chatter was inevitable.

In the second week, Zayn managed to get himself a detention for holding a cigarette in his mouth through the hallways in the science building until he got outside. It wasn’t lit or anything, the Physics teacher just had some sort of grudge against the smokers. Zayn didn’t seem to care much, though, and the supervisor was gone for almost the entire hour since they were the only two in detention that day. That meant a whole hour where the only thing they had to do was talk. Unless of course they wanted to pull a stunt like something out of _The Breakfast Club_ , but they were nowhere near that bold.

“So you really haven’t heard from him?” Zayn asked. He was chewing on the cap for the pen he had just been using to doodle on the surface of his desk.

“Not since he left. You’d think he’d at least call and let us know where he is and that he’s safe.”

“I think that’s the point, though. He doesn’t want anyone to know. That’s kind of the thing with him. He doesn’t understand that emotions aren’t meant to be kept under lock and key. I’m not sure his lock even has a key.”

“I think it’s more like a combination and it’s our job to figure it out.”

Harry sighed and put his feet up on the desk to balance his chair on its back two legs.

“If that’s the case, I think it’s more your job than anyone else’s,” Zayn finally said after a brief pause.

“What makes you think that?”

“I think you know.”

He didn’t have to stop to consider the statement.

“Yeah, I know.”

Harry didn’t sit with the others at lunch anymore. Since an hour was being taken away from him after school, he had to make that time up somewhere. Breakfast, he did sit with them, but he was usually late anyway and only had enough time to eat his food. He tried a couple of times to sneak his dinner out of the dining hall so he could eat at his desk, but after he got caught the second time, the supervisors kept an extra eye on him.

The others didn’t mind so much that Harry wanted to be alone. They understood, for the most part. Not much had changed within the group, but at the same time everything felt different. Louis’ presence was so big that it seemed to have left a hole when it was gone. He wasn’t exactly their ‘leader’, but it didn’t stop them from feeling lost without him. Not even TJ’s loud mouth and daily antics could fill the gap.

Niall took Louis’ position as assistant captain on the football team, which he felt horrible about until Rob convinced him that Louis would’ve wanted him to have it. They talked about him like he was gone forever. Harry hated that. He wasn’t gone forever, he only left. Harry knew he’d be hearing from Louis again. You couldn’t convince him otherwise.

He didn’t do much else with his time besides study. The weekend shifts with the custodial staff felt long. Six hours on Saturday, and five on Sunday. He’d never had a part-time job before and this one he wasn’t even getting paid for.

There was the one night where Zayn stopped by, mostly just to see if Harry was okay. He was okay. Mostly. He brought some comics over with him, thinking Harry might like to read them to take a break. One was Spider-Man, the other Captain America. Harry had never read a comic book before. He only ever watched the movies. Zayn convinced him that he had to read the comics as well.

He stared at the cover in his hands.

“If you had to be Iron Man or Captain America, who would you pick?” Harry asked.

“Probably Captain America. Iron Man doesn’t have any real powers.”

“What super power is better than Tony Stark’s brain?”

Zayn thought about it for a second, then said, “You got me there.”

They sat together and read for a bit. Zayn on Harry’s bed and Harry in his swivel chair. It was nice to have company again. Not the same, but nice.

At the ten day mark, Harry decided it was time to go through a few of Louis’ things. He hadn’t had another update as to when everything would be picked up, but he thought he should make it easier for whoever did by packing up what he could, even if it was just organizing. He already did all of his laundry and hung it back up in the closet. The room had never been cleaner. He decided the mess felt better. It showed that the room had been lived in. It added character.

He went through Louis’ desk first, taking the paper and old homework out of the drawers and putting them into whatever binder or folder he could find. Then was the DVD collection, stacked the same way Harry stacked his books. He found a small duffel bag under Louis’ bed he figured most of them would fit in and piled them carefully. He left _Ferris Bueller_ out for now, though. Just in case he wanted to watch it one more time.

The only thing that was left was the night stand next to Louis’ bed. Harry had never gone in there, but part of him always kind of wanted to. Ever since the first day of school, that drawer had become a mystery. Harry had seen Louis throw things in there occasionally like his flask, loose change, or a lighter. But the one time he asked if he could grab a lighter out of there to light a candle while he studied, Louis practically bolted across the room to stop him. He instead opened the drawer himself to grab one for him. Harry didn’t ask about it again.

For some reason, that didn’t stop him from crossing the room towards it now. His hand was reaching for the drawer and he opened it slowly, almost like he expected something to jump out at him. Nothing did, of course. It was just a drawer. Full of coins, a flask, lighters, everything Harry expected. There were things he wasn’t expecting like the few unused condoms and a bottle of pills. He grabbed the bottle first out of immediate concern, until he realized it was only migraine medication. He didn’t know Louis got migraines. Never even heard him complain.

Loose on the bottom were a few photographs. Harry picked one up and flipped it over. The date written on the back was a span on twelve years that already passed. The photo was of a kid who was very obviously Louis, probably about five years old, holding onto the leash of some sort of terrier breed of dog while they walked side by side on the pavement. He looked so happy and carefree, like all little kids should.

Another photo was black and white of a couple on their wedding night. The man looked much younger, but the woman he could recognize as Louis’ mum, so he knew it had to be his dad. They were laughing and stuffing frosting covered cake into each other’s faces. Their eyes were lit with hope and excitement.

The last one was Louis as a child as well, a bit older this time. Around eight or nine. He was sat on a man’s knee in the front seat of a red convertible, the same one Louis crashed about two weeks ago. His hands were on the wheel like he was the one driving. This time, he could recognize the man as Louis’ dad. They were both smiling.

What Harry noticed last, but was probably most prominent in the drawer, was a copy of _Fight Club_. The one that Harry got him for Christmas, but it looked a bit more worn out by now. He picked up the book and flipped through the pages. Pink highlighter flashed by across the paper. Louis must’ve highlighted his favourite lines, he figured. He stopped at a few of them to read what they said.

 _The things you used to own, now they own you._ _It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything._

_At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves._

_May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect._

Everything highlighted was dark, bleak. The words so opposite of how they now stood out on the page. This was Louis’ mind, Harry thought. These were the words and phrases he took from the book. These were the lines that really meant something to him.

It was beginning the feel like an invasion of privacy. Harry dropped the book back in the drawer and closed it. He should never have opened it to begin with. What he just saw felt like a peek inside Louis’ world, but he was never invited.

Someone else could clean out the drawer.

 

As soon as Harry woke up on Monday morning, he felt restless. That night he was hardly able to sleep, his dreams clouded with equations he had to solve over and over, never able to get to the right answer. Vocab definitions he had to know for Biology, the lines he had to go over for his Geography presentation. Everything was happening today and Harry was doing whatever he could to keep himself together.

Every minute before his first class Harry spent reviewing. There wasn’t enough time to make it for breakfast, but he figured he could just eat a bigger lunch. Then he finished his test and lunch came and went and he was still prepping for his Geography presentation. It was fine. He was feeling a bit lightheaded, but he’d have time to relax once everything was finished for the day. Maybe he’d even shave an hour off of his after school revisions. Maybe.

When it was time for Bio, Harry found himself having trouble walking into the room. His knees were shaking slightly and a sharp pain felt like it was slicing through his abdomen. By the time he got to his desk his hands were trembling and his heart was thumping aggressively in his chest. All of his focus was going towards not being sick.

“Harry, are you alright?” he heard Zayn ask. The sound was faint and echo-y like he was under water, even though he was sitting right next to him. “You’re looking a little pale.”

That’s when the ringing started. A high-pitched hissing noise echoed in his ears. He tried to look up at Zayn, but his vision was getting blurry. His heart was thumping harder and harder while he tried to regain focus. His arms went limp and he could feel himself sliding off the stool. The last thing he could remember before it all went black, was a pair of arms reaching out to catch him before he hit the ground.

~~~

Louis was not a fan of the tube, as it turned out. He had never used it before, never had a reason to. It smelled like mothballs and sweaty feet, and he had to sit next to an array of homeless people and strained looking students, but he was going to have to tolerate it if he was going to get to where he needed to go.

His dad wasn’t joking about cutting him off. He was quick to take action, too. Louis stayed Sunday night in a hotel and tried to use his credit card to pay. Declined. He had about 400 pounds in cash on him after paying for the room. That was going to have to last him until he figured out a long-term plan.

Since he couldn’t afford (wow, that wasn’t something he was used to worrying about) to live in a hotel forever, he needed a new temporary home. The one person he had in mind, no matter how much they might’ve been angry with him at the moment, Louis knew well enough to know that they wouldn’t turn him down for a place to stay.

The address he was searching for he had to get off of the friend phone tracker app on his phone. If he called ahead of time, it would just be easier for them to turn him down. Instead, his goal was to just show up on their doorstep with pleading eyes and an apology ready. He had never been one to mooch off of people, but desperate times…

Just as he stepped onto the platform of where he was sure he needed to be, his phone flashed a warning for 10% battery. Just enough to call himself a cab for the rest of the way there. He could probably walk, but didn’t want to risk his phone turning off in the middle of his search.

The house he was now stood in front of was small, attached to a long row of others that all looked exactly the same. Off centre, the front door was tall and stenciled into the brown bricks. Windows were stacked on top of each other going up three levels. He waited for the cab to drive away before he approached the steps.

The knocker on the door was loose from one of the screws being out too far. He tried to use it anyway, but only made it worse after pounding on the door three times.

On the other side he heard feet stomping downstairs and children yelling in play while a dog barked over it all, seeming to come from next door. When the door finally opened, a little girl stood in front of him with red curls and a purple tutu over her jeans. She couldn’t be more than six years old.

“Who are you?” She asked bluntly.

“I’m Louis, who are you?” he asked, playfully mocking the tone.

“I’m not supposed to tell strangers.”

“I think your dad knows who I am, so I’m not a complete stranger,” he informed her, which seemed to confuse her even more.

“Ella, sweetie, who’s at the door?” A man’s voice came from behind her and then the door opened wider. He furrowed his brow, “Louis?”

“Hey, Patrick,” he smiled weakly.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. Not angrily, though. It was a valid question for someone who was supposed to be at boarding school.

“It’s a long story.”

“Did they expel you? Did your dad kick you out?”

“No, none of that. Can I come in?”

Patrick stepped out of the way and let him through the door. The entryway was small and completely covered in children’s shoes and coats. He followed Patrick towards the kitchen, Ella holding onto his leg and staring Louis down as they walked.

Entering the kitchen, Patrick’s wife was standing at the old gas powered stove and stirring the pot of some sort of soup. Her hair was tied up into a bun and she had a tea towel thrown over her shoulder. When she looked up at Louis she had to flick her overgrown bangs away from her eyes.

“Who’s this, Patrick?” She asked, smiling warmly at Louis.

“Louis. The kid I told you about that I used to help out with driving,” he told her. Louis winced, bracing himself for her response. _Yep, that’s me! The kid who just got your husband fired from his job._

“Nice to meet you, Louis. I’m Kathrine, but feel free to call me Kathy. Can I offer you some tea?”

“Um, sure. That would be lovely.”

Patrick led him towards an empty chair at their kitchen table. The surface was covered in mail and loose colouring book pages from the Ella, who had now returned to her spot on the opposite end of where Louis was, and another girl who looked to be about four. She had the same curly hair, only hers was blonde.

“That’s Mia over there,” Patrick told him. They were sat across from each other now. “I swear she can talk, but I’d be surprised if you got a word out of her.”

“Quiet, is she?”

“Don’t know where she gets it from. Definitely not her mother,” he looked passed Louis at Kathy to see if she heard him.

“Certainly not her dad either. You should try sitting through a program with him. I swear, he asks more questions than a talk show host.”

That made Patrick chuckle to himself.

Louis nodded along silently, feeling slightly out of place. He didn’t quite understand why they were being so kind and welcoming. He was ready to have to beg just to be let in the door.

Kathy turned away from the counter to bring over the teapot along with three mugs, then took a second trip for the spoons, milk, and sugar. She sat in the seat next to Louis while telling them dinner should be ready in half an hour, already assuming Louis would stay.

“Thank you,” Louis said when a mug was placed in front of him. Patrick insisted that the guest pour first.

“So you ran away, right? That’s the only reason I can come up with as to why you’re showing up on our doorstep on a Monday evening.”

Louis looked down at his cup, stirring the spoon around to keep his hands busy.

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

Kathy placed a delicate hand on Louis’ arm, then turned to the two girls on the other side of the table. “Ella, Mia, can you girls go play in your room for a bit?”

“Why?” Ella asked, scribbling on the page with a red crayon.

“Because mummy said so. Come on, take your colours with you.”

The girls obeyed slowly, Ella with much more reluctance. It took a full minute before they even reached the staircase, arms full of papers and crayons. Once they were gone, both Kathy and Patrick brought their attention back.

Kathy sighed, “So why aren’t you in school?”

“I can’t stay there anymore, and I can’t go back.”

“You’re not happy there?”

Louis hesitated for a moment. Happiness wasn’t something he’d taken into consideration. All he knew for now is that everyone there would be better off without him screwing up their lives.

“No,” he decided was the right answer.

“Does anyone know where you are? Harry? Zayn? Your parents?” Patrick asked.

He shook his head, “I didn’t tell anyone. I’m an adult, I don’t need permission.”

“Fair enough,” Kathy said. “But you need to let them know you’re at least okay so they don’t file a missing persons report. Is there anyone you can call?”

Louis looked down at his hands in thought, but didn’t say anything.

“Why don’t you text your mum? She’s probably worried the most.”

“Can’t,” Louis pulled his phone out from his pocket and placed it on the table in front of him. “Phone’s dead.”

“I’ll lend you a charger. Let me go grab it for you,” Kathy told him. She was up before he could even think to protest. Once she was out of the room, Louis had trouble looking Patrick in the eyes.

“I am so sorry Patrick. You have no idea how shitty I’ve felt about all of this. I didn’t think you were going to lose your job over it,” his voice was strained, but he tried to keep it quiet.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. I got offered more hours at the other gig I’ve been working. And Kathy’s considering going back to work full-time now that I’ll be home more. This might actually turn out for the better.”

“Yeah?”

“Look, you don’t think I knew how risky it was helping you out? But, man, you have no idea how helpful the extra money has been. It’s not easy balancing a family of four on my salary. I should be thanking you.”

The last thing Patrick should be doing, Louis thought, was thanking him. He didn’t want his actions to be validated. Whether he liked it or not, he needed to start taking responsibility. Owning up to this and trying to make things right with Patrick was a start. That, and trying to get away from everyone else’s lives he seemed to be fucking up.

“I’m still sorry,” he said.

“Consider yourself forgiven, then,” Patrick smiled.

Kathy returned with the cord and took Louis’ phone from where he rested it on the table to charge it using a plug-in at the counter.

“So you’re wanting to stay here, I take it?” Kathy asked when she returned to her seat.

“If you’ll have me. I promise I’ll help out around the house and it’ll only be a few nights until I can figure something else out. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

“Now, you quit your worrying, alright?” Karen brushed her hand over Louis’ back in a motherly way. “You can stay here as long as you need, but I do have a few conditions.”

“Anything,” Louis said, eyes lighting up.

“You’re to enroll in public school. I don’t care how long you’re here, no child under my roof is dropping out of school.”

“Public school?”

Kathy and Patrick exchanged amused glances.

“It’s not going to kill you, mate,” Patrick laughed. “Who knows, maybe you’ll even like it better than Rockcrest.”

Louis highly doubted that.

“The second condition is that you have to get a part-time job. Anything that will get you three shifts a week. If you’re going to live away from home, you’re going to start having to live off your own money. Hard work is all that gets you far in this world.”

Louis didn’t know what else to do besides thank them. He thanked them about a hundred times before Kathy told him to stop. Then she gave him a hug and insisted that if he needed anything, even just someone to talk to, that she and Patrick would always be there.

“Now, don’t think chores aren’t a given,” she added, heading back towards the stove. “You two can set the table while I call the girls down for supper.” She pointed between him and Patrick.

Right then, Louis couldn’t be happier about doing a chore. These people, some of the kindest he’d ever met, were actually willing to open up their house to him. He wanted to thank them again.

When dinner was served, Louis was sat next to Ella, who continued to stare at him most of the meal. Patrick told him that she just wasn’t used to new people in the house and that she’d warm up to him eventually.

Over the meal, Louis expected to be grilled with more questions about why he left Rockcrest and what his parents would say once they saw him again. Instead, Patrick and Kathy mostly just talked about their days at work and asked Mia and Ella about theirs. Louis found out that Mia spent the afternoons in daycare while both Patrick and Kathy worked, and Ella was currently in her first year of school. That reminded Kathy about Louis’ schooling. First thing the next morning, she promised to enroll him in the nearby secondary school that she was a teacher at.

Louis still felt slightly uneasy about starting public school, but he was willing to try. If this was the cost of independence, than he was ready to pay.

The house didn’t have a fourth bedroom, so Kathy offered Louis the small den on the third level that she had been using for an office. She blew up an air mattress for him and brought him more than enough pillows and blankets.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Louis asked while she stood in the doorway, just about to leave him to get ready for bed.

“Did you expect us to throw you out on the street?”

“Well, kind of.”

She folded her arms and leaned a hip against the doorway.

“I’m a teacher. I see kids like you every day. Hell, I have to deal with kids ten times worse than you every day. You aren’t a bad kid, Louis. Not even close. You may not think highly of yourself right now, but I can assure you that there are people around you that do.” She paused for a moment to look down at her feet, then back up at him. “You may not think your parents or your friends back at Rockcrest need you, but they do. Who cares if you made one mistake? You’re going to make a thousand more before you kick it. Own up to it, make it right, learn from it, and move on. That’s all you can do.”

“So you’re saying I should go back to Rockcrest.”

“No, I’m saying you should do what’s best for you. Maybe getting away from that school _is_ what’s best. You’re a smart kid, Louis. You’ll figure it out. For now, you should just get some sleep.”

When Louis didn’t say anything, she stood up straight to leave.

“Wait,” he said, and she turned back around. “What if I make the wrong choice? I mean, don’t want to go back, but I don’t know how ready I am to do this all alone.”

Kathy offered a kind smile.

“Who said you were alone?”

 

Despite trying his best to get away from Rockcrest and all the people there, not a minute passed since he left that Louis wasn’t thinking about Harry. Wondering what he was doing, if he was okay. Louis lay awake in bed the next night, looking up at the ceiling and flipping his phone across his chest.

He had spent all morning signing up for classes at the public school and buying supplies and clothes he was going to need, then Kathy instructed him to make a resume that afternoon so he could start handing them out. Louis had never made a resume before, didn’t have much to put on it. When he finally gave up out of frustration, Kathy told him to just fill out some online applications for now. It was only day one of trying to start over. He had time to figure his shit out.

Tomorrow was to be Louis’ first day at a new school. He hadn’t felt this nervous since his first day at Rockcrest back in year seven. At least he only had a couple of months to endure this time. But he had never been the “new kid” before, and especially not at public school. He had no clue what the classes would be like, the other students. At least Kathy would be there. Maybe he could be the kid who hangs out in a teacher’s classroom at lunch.

For now, his number one concern was sleep. It was almost midnight and Louis felt like he had just downed an entire pot of coffee. He turned his phone on again and stared at the message on his screen.

_Please at least let us know you’re safe. Everyone is worried._

That was all the message was. At least from today. Sunday and Monday was a string of _Louis?, Are you okay?,_ and _Where are you?_ He felt bad that he didn’t answer before. He wished he knew what to say. God, did leaving just make everything worse?

 _I’m safe_ , he typed out, then hit send before he could change his mind. There, one person at Rockcrest knew he was okay.

He clicked back on the conversation with Zayn to find Harry’s. There were more messages from him than anyone else. Apologies that Louis didn’t feel he deserved, pleas for him to come back. The last one was from almost two hours ago. Harry tried to go to bed at ten every night, so Louis knew he must have sent it right before he fell asleep.

_I miss you._

He reread it over and over, thinking about why Harry sent that. For a second, it was almost enough for him to pack his bags and go back to Rockcrest right then and there.

Slowly, his fingers moved across the keypad. _I miss you too_ , they wrote. His thumb hovered over the send button in hesitation, then quickly moved down to erase the whole message. He shouldn’t have waited so long and let himself change his mind.

 

Louis was not used to going to school with girls. That was the first strange thing he noticed when walking into a public school for the first time. He decided beforehand that he wasn’t going to talk to anyone. He wasn’t here to make friends, he was here to graduate and that was it. By the second day he was already trying to make himself unknown. He walked the halls with his hood up until some teacher he didn’t know pulled it down without saying anything. In class he tried his best to keep his head down and focus only on the lesson.

Every day for lunch, he stuck with his original idea of eating in Kathy’s classroom in order to avoid the cafeteria at all costs. He brought his own lunch anyway. Didn’t feel like taking a risk with whatever was being served that day.

Luckily, Kathy was in her room marking tests next to a tupperware container of the same turkey sandwich Patrick had made for all five of them that morning. She looked up from the paper she was holding and shook her head amusedly at Louis.

“Again? Louis, you’ve been here over a week. You’re going to have to face that cafeteria one day. Maybe you’ll make a friend that isn’t a teacher whose class you aren’t even in.”

“I don’t need any more friends,” Louis said. He pulled up a chair across from her desk and pulled out the brown paper bag.

“You don’t like the people here?”

“They are quite strange. You know how many couples I’ve walked passed who were making out in the corridor in the last two days? Seven! You know how many I saw in my six years at Rockcrest? _Maybe_ two.”

“Not a lot of out gay kids at Rockcrest?” She asked, putting down her red pen.

“A few, but it’s not even that. Do they know everyone can see when they stand in between a row of lockers and the door to the history classroom?”

“Do you really want me to explain the complexities of teenage hormones to you right now? I mean, I can if you want. I am a biology teacher, after all.”

Louis cringed, “Please don’t. Especially when I’m about to eat.”

Kathy shook her head and laughed before going back to her marking.

 

By the next weekend, Louis decided he did not like public school, but also realized there wasn’t much he could do about that. With only just over five months left in the year, he knew he had to suck it up and get through them. Who knows, maybe he could even do well and get into a good university on his own merit.

The following Monday afternoon, Louis returned to Kathy and Patrick’s looking glum from the job interview he just had after school at a department store. He slumped down on the couch next to Mia, who was in a trance from the Dora reruns on the TV. Patrick was sat on the floor with Ella across the room where they were building an abstract tower out of Lego blocks.

“So did you get the job?” Patrick asked.

“Not unless I want to drop out of school. They want someone with daytime availability.”

“Don’t sweat it, mate. You’ll find something eventually. For now, babysitting duty will have to do.” He began to stand up and Ella was too busy with the blocks to care. “Kathy and I will be out of here in half an hour. Leftover pasta is heating up on the stove for dinner.”

Louis had almost forgot about babysitting altogether. It was even him who offered when he heard Kathy turn down a dinner that she and Patrick were invited to because she had no one to watch the kids. Louis figured it was the least he could do since they were letting him live with them and all.

In his nineteen years of life, Louis had never babysat before. But he did see a lot of movies that involved babysitting, so he figured he had the gist of it. Just make sure the kids don’t die, and hope that a stranger doesn’t call.

At the dinner table, Louis sat in Patrick’s spot at the head so each kid would be on either side of him. He ate his pasta fairly quickly, then watched Ella and Mia carefully, making sure they didn’t choke on their food or anything.

“So are you our new brother?” Ella asked. She kept doing this thing where she would stare Louis down whenever they were in the same room, but refused to look in his direction if she was speaking to him.

“Not exactly,” Louis laughed.

“So you aren’t staying here forever?”

“I do like it here, but I hope not.”

“Well, I hope you do,” she said firmly.

“You do?”

“Yeah, you’re more fun to play dolls with than mummy or daddy.”

Louis laughed at that. Over the weekend he sat with Ella in her room for almost three hours while she wanted to play dolls, and he went along with whatever crazy storyline she came up with. He had to admit, a jewelry heist was pretty creative for a six-year-old.

“In that case, we can play again after dinner if you’d like.”

“Yay!” Ella cheered, stuffing more of the pasta in her mouth so the tomato sauce got all over her face.

“Me too?” Mia asked, her voice still baby-like. Louis was almost positive it was the first time he heard her say anything at all.

“Of course,” he smiled.

Realizing the sauce issue was getting a little out of hand, Louis got up to get a wet cloth from the kitchen to wipe the girls’ faces. While he was waiting for the water from the tap to heat up, he checked his phone that was sitting on the counter for any new messages. His eyes went wide when he saw the numbers.

Zayn: 7 missed calls, 13 unread messages.

He clicked on their conversation and only saw bits and pieces of the context before he was already hitting call and bringing the phone up to his ear. Zayn answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“What’s going on? Is he okay?” Louis’ voice sounded just as panicked as he was feeling.

“Okay, you have to relax. Yes, he’s okay. They think he suffered some sort of stress related panic attack mixed with exhaustion. He’s in the infirmary now and they had a doctor visit him a few hours ago. They want him to stay there for the night for observation. If it’s anything worse, they’re sending him to the hospital.”

Louis didn’t say anything in response. He was too busy thinking, deciding if now was the right time to act with as much reckless abandon as he had been all these last two weeks. But maybe this time is wasn’t so reckless. For once, he was positive this was the right thing to do.

“Louis? Are you there?” Zayn’s voice sounded again from the other end.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said, then hung up the phone and waited as patiently as he could for Patrick and Kathy to get home.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just note for this chapter that there is a mention of mental illness, but nothing I would personally deem worthy of a warning since it is brief. The character dealing with it does try to make it seem like it isn't a big deal, but that isn't a reflection of how it should be portrayed. His view of it is merely a plot point and an addition to the character.

Two days of bed rest. That’s what Harry was prescribed after his incident yesterday. The doctor wanted him to not even think about classes for 48 hours. He was also given a bottle of some pills that he was told were meant to calm his nerves, and diagnosed with anxiety. He couldn’t say he was exactly surprised with the diagnosis. He already had a feeling that was the case, but he never knew for sure. He didn’t want to feel like something was wrong with him.

After he was written the prescription, the school guidance councillor asked Harry if he wanted to go home for a few days, maybe even a few weeks. He considered going, but was also scared that if he left to be with his family, he wouldn’t want to come back. So he decided against it, but still made sure to call his mum and sister so they at least wouldn’t worry as much as he was sure they already were.

“Jesus, little brother, it sounds like you’re going to give yourself stress ulcers,” Gemma said over the phone. Harry was laying in his own bed in the dorm, his phone on speaker next to him as he propped himself up on his side.

“They’re making it sound worse than it was. I feel fine now.”

“You shouldn’t understate your illness. It’s not something to be ashamed of.”

“I’m not ashamed of it. I’d just prefer not to have it.”

“I know,” she sighed, “but it’s good that you’re being treated for it now.”

“I wish they could just rewire my brain. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about these stupid pills.” The clear bottle was on the night table next to him and he flicked it so it would fall over.

“I’m sorry this happened,” Gemma said in a serious tone, one Harry wasn’t used to.

Harry hesitated, then sighed, “I’m supposed to go see a counselor every two weeks now. Probably want to hear about my “ _tragic past”_ and what made me so fucked up.”

“You aren’t fucked up. You just got dealt a bad hand. It doesn’t mean you should stop trying to win the game.”

“Since when are you one for analogies?”

“Hey, I’m your big sister,” he couldn’t see her face, but Harry could tell she was smiling. “Isn’t it my job to try and give you profound life lessons?”

“I don’t think it was in the job description, but I guess it’s never too late to try for employee of the month.”

Gemma gasped offendedly. “Who am I competing with? Your imaginary friend from when you were five?”

The comment made Harry laugh until he heard the sound of keys jingling at the door. It must be the people coming to get Louis’ things, he thought. The office probably forgot to tell them that he wasn’t in class today.

Harry moved to get out of bed. “Hold on, I think someone’s at the-”

Then the door opened and the room didn’t feel so empty anymore.

“Harry? You okay?” Gemma was still talking.

“Sorry, I need to call you back,” he said, then hit end on his phone.

“Hey,” Louis smiled weakly.

“What are you doing here?” Harry’s voice was monotone.

“I-” he stopped to look around the room before meeting Harry’s eyes. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well, I am.”

“What happened?”

“Some sort of panic attack, I guess. Turns out, I have anxiety.”

Louis didn’t know what to say, he just moved slowly across the room towards Harry.

“You didn’t call,” Harry said coldly. Louis stopped moving.

“I know, it was just that-”

“Not even a text, nothing. You’re gone for two weeks and don’t let me know if you’re coming back or if you were even alive. Do you know how worried everyone was? How worried _I_ was? Where the hell were you?!”

Louis dropped his head to look at his hands. “I was staying with a friend. I thought Zayn would’ve told you I was safe.”

“Zayn knew where you were?”

“No. I told him I was safe, that’s all.”

Harry shook his head and turned around, folding his hands behind his neck. He didn’t want to get angry, but looking at Louis wasn’t helping him stay calm.

“So Zayn deserved to know, but not me?”

“It’s not that. I didn’t know what to say to you. I almost got you expelled and possibly ruined your uni applications, then your boyfriend tried to punch me out!” his voice was becoming strained. “A casual text didn’t seem like the right way to go.”

“Then why didn’t you call me?”

“I couldn’t.”

By no means was that answer good enough for Harry. For that whole two weeks, the worst of his time at Rockcrest, the one person he thought he could rely on was gone. And he hadn’t even gotten an apology.

“I needed you, and you left,” Harry accused.

“For only two weeks!”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Maybe it’s not all about you, Harry!” Louis burst. “Maybe, for once, I wanted to do something for myself. To just get away from all this bullshit and try to live my life _my_ way without carrying the load for everyone else. I’m tired of trying to please everyone!”

“So you just abandoned them instead?” Harry’s voice cracked. He wasn’t going to cry.

“You know that’s not what I meant to do. Everything was going wrong because of me and I couldn’t take it. If I stay, I fuck up; if I leave, I fuck up. I can’t win!” He shouted, then kicked at the wall. Not hard enough to dent it, but hard enough to make him yelp in pain. He grabbed his foot and limped towards his bed to catch his balance.

“I would’ve understood, but you didn’t even care enough to call!”

“I came back, didn’t I? The minute I heard about what happened to you, I came back as soon as I could to make sure you were okay. Does that sound like I don’t care, to you?”

Harry had to take a deep breath. They stared at each other intensely, out of hurt and anger mostly. But, God, Harry missed him. He was furious, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t glad he was here.

“Are you staying?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded, “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Harry said.

“Are we good, then?”

“No. But if you’re staying, that’s good enough for now.”

 

Never before had their dorm room been so silent. At least, not with both of them present. Another week went by before Harry would speak more than once sentence to Louis at a time. For the first couple of days, it was barely more than a few words.

Louis had no trouble re-enrolling in his classes. He had hours of homework to do in order to catch up with the days he missed, but it was doable. When he went to the library to start on it after his first day back, he didn’t sit with Harry like he used to. Didn’t even bother trying. He couldn’t force them to be friends again. Eventually they would be, but the fight had to run its course.

The rest of the guys were a bit more enthusiastic about Louis coming back, at least. The “Why didn’t you call?” questions were asked a lot friendlier. Not to say that Harry’s anger was unwarranted. It was just more relieving to know that his friends didn’t all hate him.

For the two weeks he was gone, Louis had actually forgotten about football. Not until Rob brought up that they had practise one night, did Louis remember he was kicked off the team. Right before the finals. Right before his last chance at being part of Rockcrest ending the season with a win, like he was sure they would.

But he did this to himself. There was no one else he could blame.

Since he wasn’t there to serve his first week of detentions, they were all pushed back a week, right up to spring break. He could barely be bothered to care. It’s not like he had anything else to do with his time, like football practice.

So maybe he was a little bitter about the team. Could you blame him?

While his detentions and custodial shifts were shared with Harry, they weren’t spent with him. They sat on opposite sides of the room in detention and cleaned entirely separate buildings during the weekends. Louis felt like he was getting the silent treatment, and maybe he deserved that too.

Harry was right. He should’ve called him.

One night, a few days after Louis returned, he walked into the dorm to find Zayn there. If they were back in September, this wouldn’t have surprised him. But Zayn wasn’t there to see Louis. He was studying with Harry.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt,” Louis mumbled, shrugging off his jacket.

They were both sat on the floor with open textbooks and binders around them. Innocent enough.

“S’alright,” Zayn smiled politely. “We were just finishing up, anyway.”

Harry didn’t look his way, just helped Zayn with the tidying.

“We’re still meeting after school tomorrow, right?” Harry asked Zayn as they stood up and he walked him to the door. Didn’t seem very necessary, considering it was only about two steps away.

“Yeah, for sure. See you around!”

As Harry closed the door behind him and turned back towards the room, Louis tried to make himself look busy by walking to his closet to get changed.

“You and Zayn been hanging out?” he asked as he looked through piles of clothes for a new shirt.

Harry was walking back towards his bed and picked up what he had been reading off of his night table to continue. “A bit.”

Right, how could Louis forget about the single syllable word answers?

He glanced at Harry long enough to see what he was reading. Held in his hands was an old Spider-Man comic, one Louis remembered reading very clearly. It was one of the first Zayn loaned him, and he thought it would be the last after he accidently ripped the cover while trying to pull it from the middle of a stack of books. He remembered because he was staring at the rip right now, just above Harry’s index finger.

“Since when do you read comics?”

Harry shrugged.

 _Since when have you been so close with Zayn?_ he wanted to add, but instead said nothing. Louis wasn’t in the mood to fight and starting to throw out claims until Harry admitted it to be true was not the way to avoid that. McCarthyism doesn’t exactly have a track record for positive outcomes.

That night, Louis fell asleep before Harry even got around to turning his lamp off.

When his eyes closed, his mind turned on and showed him the inside of his dorm. It was broad daylight, but the room was completely empty. No furniture, no rugs on the floors, nothing hanging on the walls. He walked towards the door, but he couldn’t get any closer. Every step he took, it was like the door was being pulled back farther and farther. He tried running, then sprinting, but he couldn’t reach it.

Then it opened, and a figure stood there that he could only faintly recognize. Almost like a silhouette. The figure opened the door wider and waved him forward as if to join them. He tried to run again, but then the figure was leaving and the door was slammed shut.

Louis’ eyes shot open, the imaginary banging noise in his head waking him up. The morning sun was shining through the open blinds. They must’ve forgot to close them before bed again.

At least Jonathan was happy to see Louis when he walked into Biology. No one out of their friend group was taking sides in the strange fight between Harry and Louis. It wasn’t a fight, really. More just a lack of verbal communication and general pleasantness towards each other. But if they were choosing sides, Louis was pretty sure Zayn would be picking Harry’s.

Ever since Louis got back, he noticed the two of them had grown to be attached at the hip. They hung out after school almost every day, sat next to each other in the dining hall, Zayn even stopped by that morning so they could walk to breakfast together. To be fair, Zayn did ask Louis if he wanted to walk with them as well. Louis declined right away and pretended he had more to do to get ready so he could leave after them, even though he had been ready before even Harry was.

Today was lab day in Biology, meaning they’d have to work in partners. Jonathan learned early in the year that Louis was pretty useless during labs. It might have something to do with the fact that he tended to zone out during the instructions at the beginning, but at least one of them was paying attention. When it was time to start the experiment, Jonathan just assigned Louis a task to do, which in this case was mixing a solution over the hot plate. Only until it was boiling, though, Jonathan had warned him. The solution couldn’t go past a boil.

So Louis stirred and stared at the clear liquid in the beaker, waiting for the bubbles to form at the bottom of the glass. Jonathan was sat next to him taking notes and piecing together the next steps of the experiment. Louis glanced over at him, then placed his arm across the desk to rest his chin on it out of boredom. This was taking far too long, and he didn’t even know what the point was.

Looking through the glass, the group in front of them caught his eye. Harry and Zayn were laughing over something one of them had said and Harry was standing so close to him that their shoulders were overlapping. If he didn’t know better, Louis would say something more than platonic was going on there. With that said, if he wasn’t mistaken, Harry still had a boyfriend. One who he made it very clear to Louis that he wasn’t breaking up with any time soon. He’d be lying if he said that thought didn’t sting a bit.

Louis still thought about that kiss all the time. Almost constantly, it was replaying in his head. He hated that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He hated that Harry could make him feel like this. One minute he’d want to yell at him for something stupid like opening the door too loudly when he woke up early in the mornings, and the next he’d want to grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him again right in front of everybody. There was never any in between.

“Jesus, Louis, pay attention!” Jonathan scolded, bringing Louis back from inside his head. He looked down and noticed the solution was boiling over. “Now we have to start from the beginning,” he sighed, grabbing a paper towel off the side counter.

“Sorry, I’ve been a little out of it today.”

“Not just today, it seems like.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Jonathan paused cleaning up the mess to look between Harry and Louis. “You guys talking again yet?” He said quietly.

“Not really, no.”

“I give it another week before you two are back to hanging off each other all the time again.”

“What makes you say that?”

He smiled. “Just couldn’t imagine a world at this point where you aren’t friends.”

“Doesn’t seem to need me around much anymore.” Louis nodded towards Zayn.

“Don’t be so sure. _He’s_ not you.”

Jonathan placed a new beaker on the hot plate so Louis could start stirring again. Before walking away to put the old one in the dirty equipment bin, he said one more time, “I’m telling ‘ya. One week.”

The one place where Louis still felt was like home around Rockcrest was the common room. It was the only place where he could just hang out with his friends and be care-free. Where there were no responsibilities.

Louis opted for pool instead of table-football, like he normally would choose to play. Lately, anything that reminded him that he was kicked off the team just made him feel even worse. One day he’d be able to play again and feel that same excited rush he used to get, but that probably wasn’t going to happen any time soon. At least, not while he was still in school.

“Where’s Louis?” a voice came barrelling down the hallway. Only when he walked into the room did Louis see that the sound came from Niall’s mouth.

“Over here,” Louis waved him over. He was standing in the corner with a cue in his hand, waiting for Liam to take his turn. When Niall caught sight of him, he came running over and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“You’ve got everyone freaked out, man,” he said. Louis furrowed his brow in confusion, trying to shrug Niall off of him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Spring break is next week and you haven’t said a word about your annual party yet!”

Louis almost laughed as he threw his head back in a sigh. “Aren’t you tired of that party? Every year it’s just the Rockcrest guys, the girls from Edgewood, and whatever random people show up.”

“You _know_ how important that party is, Louis,” Niall said sternly.

“He’s right,” Jonathan added from where he was sitting backwards on top of the couch cushions, “It’s the only real party we get to go to all year.”

“Come on, don’t pretend like you guys don’t only want the party just so you can get drunk and fuck the Edgewood girls,” TJ snorted. He was previously at the tables across the room, but joined when he conveniently overheard the conversation.

“You do the exact same thing,” Liam raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say I didn’t. I just said they shouldn’t pretend.”

“Look,” Rob spoke up while he lined up his next shot in the game, “can we all agree the party should still happen, whatever the intentions?”

“There’s no way you can cancel it after four years! Five, if you count when we were thirteen and went just us guys to break into the liquor cabinet,” said Niall. He thought maybe the added nostalgia would help in convincing Louis.

“At this point, it’s tradition,” Liam added with a smile.

Jonathan began chanting, “We want the party! We want the party!” And Niall joined in as well. Soon it was all five of them, and even some other guys in the room chanting along. Louis rolled his eyes, knowing that even though it was his house, there was no way he was overcoming this kind of persuasion.

“What party?” Asked Harry as he approached the group surrounding the pool table. The chanting died down. Zayn was right behind him, looking slightly confused at the scene they just walked in on.

Since no one else was answering, Louis glanced around to realize they were all looking at him to explain.

“Oh, well I- uh, throw this party at the London house on the first day of spring break every year. Most of the guys go home for the week, so we do it right before everyone leaves. There’s tons of booze and someone always invites the girls from Edgewood, which is basically the female equivalent to Rockcrest.”

“It’s really fun and something crazy always happens every year,” Zayn said in addition.

“And by that, he means something expensive always gets broken or someone calls the cops and everyone has to scatter,” said TJ.

“You should come,” Louis offered, then held his breath in anticipation for the answer.

Harry looked around at the others, who were nodding and backing up claims that it really would be fun. After looking at Zayn for final approval, he said, “I’ll see if I can make it.”

“Sounds good,” Louis finally let go of the breath and smiled. Harry didn’t smile back, but Louis swore he saw the faintest bit of an upcurve as he walked away with Zayn. At least this was progress.

Now, he supposed, he had a party to plan.

 

On the last day before spring break, Louis found himself with not much to do besides lay in bed with his headphones in and a film playing on his laptop. In his classes, the workload was settling down so they could pick up where they left off easier when the break was over. For once, he was actually caught up on all his school work. His marks weren’t quite phenomenal yet, but they were average, and average was better than failing.

About halfway through _The Hangover_ , the front door opened and Louis’ peace and quiet was blatantly disturbed. Harry walked in mid-laugh with Zayn once again on his heels. He turned a lamp on since Louis originally had the room pitch black, then began removing his bag from his shoulder and shrugging his jacket off before even looking Louis’ way.

“Hey,” Zayn said to him, but Louis could only read his lips since he didn’t bother taking off his headphones. He offered a tight-lipped smile in response.

The two of them sat on Harry’s bed with their backs against the wall and Louis pretended to be far more invested in what he was watching on the screen than he really was. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could see the smiling and the sitting with their shoulders touching. It was nauseating, really.

And did they have to hang out in here? Why couldn’t they go to the common room or the library or perhaps a broom closet so at least they could get a room that didn’t also belong to someone else?

His movie wasn’t over yet, but Louis wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. He yanked the headphones out of his ears and slammed his laptop shut.

Zayn and Harry’s conversation quickly faded and they glanced at Louis to see what exactly that was all about.

“Did your favourite character die, or something?” Harry asked. Zayn laughed, Louis did not.

“Do you guys really need to be in here?” Louis burst. He was fed up with biting his tongue.

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Well, I live here.”

“But do you guys need to do _this_ in here?” He motioned between them vaguely. “Act all cuddly like you’re about to jump each other’s bones? You can’t even save it for when I’m not in the room? Are you even single right now, or is you-know-who still around?”

“Woah, slow down,” Harry exhaled a laugh and pushed himself away from Zayn. “What exactly do you think is happening here?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Louis folded his arms over his chest.

Zayn and Harry exchanged concerned looks for a moment, then both busted out into laughter. Harry even so much a buried his face into a pillow that was next to him to try and contain himself.

Now slightly annoyed, Louis asked, “What’s funny?”

“Did you seriously think that we-” Zayn pointed a finger between himself and Harry, but made himself laugh again before he could finish the sentence.

“So you aren’t getting together?”

“I’m not even sure that’s in the realm of possibilities,” Harry said, calming down a bit more.

Zayn added, “Harry’s right, he’s way out of my league.”

“Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Harry rested a hand on the back of Zayn’s neck for the sake of the joke. “In time, I’m sure I could lower my standards for you.”

Zayn shoved him away playfully, and Louis just stared in confusion.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but to answer your question, no, Sean is not still around,” Harry informed him casually.

“Oh. Well, are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?”

“I mean, yeah.”

“Then I’m okay. I don’t need you to pretend you’re concerned about my well-being,” he said, rather harshly.

“I’m not pretending,” Louis replied.

“Whatever,” Harry said, a little quieter. He turned his attention back to Zayn.

“Whatever,” Louis repeated. He put his headphones back in and drowned them out.

That was the longest conversation he and Harry had had in weeks.

Progress.


	16. Chapter 16

On the day of the party, the guys gathered at the London house beforehand to help set up. Louis (reluctantly) assigned Rob, Niall and Jonathan to make the liquor store run. Then Harry, Liam, and Zayn were to get snacks, cups, and ice, while he and TJ stayed back to make sure the house was ready to handle the near 200 people that would probably show up. What made Louis the most nervous was that he had to send them in two of his dad’s cars. He made Niall and Liam, who were driving, swear on their lives that they wouldn’t so much as chip the paint. They told him not to worry so much, but he told them they didn’t know his dad.

Even if they did scratch the cars, Louis decided in his head after they all left, there wasn’t much else his dad could do to punish him. In his dad’s eyes, he was already doing his worst by cutting him off. That was something Louis was choosing not to share with anyone, and hoped that Harry hadn’t mentioned it in any sort of recap to their friends of what exactly happened in that meeting in Finch’s office.

Normally, Louis would offer to buy all the alcohol needed for the party himself, but this year he went off about how the guys could all pay for themselves if they wanted the party to happen so badly. It wasn’t a big deal since most of them had rich parents as well, but Louis still felt a bit weird about making them pay, even though he didn’t have another choice. He was down to about two hundred pounds after all the shopping he did and helping out with groceries while staying at Patrick’s. He had to make that last at least until June when he’d have to go back home and face his father again.

Now wasn’t the time to have to think about that.

“Do you have plans for next weekend?” TJ asked. They were walking around on opposite ends of the lounge, filling boxes with anything breakable to avoid any mishaps this year.

“Not really, why?”

“Zayn got these tickets for a music festival up north from his mum. There’s enough for all eight of us, but he didn’t want to say anything to the guys unless you were good with Harry going too.”

Louis looked up so TJ could see the confused expression on his face.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with Harry going? I live with the guy.”

“Don’t look at me. Zayn was the one worried you guys would be at each other’s throats the whole trip. He said, either everyone is invited, or no one is.”

“And he couldn’t ask me himself?”

TJ brought his filled box over to the coffee table to fold it over. He was almost laughing at Louis’ words.

“He probably just doesn’t want to get involved in whatever bullshit you two are going through. Look, if you want my opinion-”

“I don’t.”

“Well, you’re getting it anyway. You’re both being stupid and I don’t see why you guys are wasting all this time hating each other when you could just get together already.”

Louis almost choked on his own saliva. “What?”

“You really think I don’t know? Zayn is horrible at keeping secrets. Well, at least ones that aren’t his own. Yeah, I know about that too.”

“You know that we were..?”

“Boyfriends? Yep. I mean, not until after you guys broke up, but he filled me in on all the details. Probably too many of the details.”

“Oh, God,” Louis brought a hand to his forehead out of embarrassment. Of course Zayn wouldn’t leave out _the details_.

“Don’t be so dramatic, it’s not like _I_ haven’t sucked a dick before.”

“You’re gay?” Louis asked, more shock coming through in his tone than he intended.

“Bi, actually,” TJ shrugged, collapsing on the couch. He picked up the plastic container that he left on the coffee table that was filled with a few pre-rolled joints and placed one between is lips to light it. “Thought you knew.”

“Not at all.”

“You really don’t pay attention much, do you?”

When Louis sat down next to him, TJ handed him the joint and pulled forward the ashtray that was also on the table.

“So did you and Zayn ever… You know…” Louis trailed off.

“Nah, it’s not like that with him. But you’d be surprised at how many Rockcrest guys aren’t as straight as they want you to think.”

“Yeah?” Louis said as he exhaled the smoke.

“I won’t give names since I wouldn’t want to out anyone, but let’s just say if you don’t go for Harry, you probably wouldn’t find it too hard to find someone to hook-up with tonight.”

He wasn’t sure if it was meant as a joke, but Louis laughed anyway. Hooking-up was not exactly on his to-do list tonight. Getting drunk, definitely, but he was planning on going to bed alone.

Speaking of that, he had to remember to lock his bedroom door so no one would try to go in there while looking for a room. With the Edgewood girls coming, that was definitely something that was going to happen.

“So the music festival, you never told me if you’re in or out.”

“I guess I’m in,” Louis shrugged, “Is it gonna be a road trip?”

“I think so. One last trip with all us guys to end off the year. We’re gonna be headed off to uni and getting jobs now. Who knows when the last time we’ll all hang out again after we leave Rockcrest?”

Louis didn’t want to think about life after Rockcrest. Right now, things were okay as they were. Or getting there, at least.

 

Since he was technically the host of the party, it was kind of hard for Louis to walk through his house going unnoticed. Instead of trying to hide, he decided ahead of time to just suck it up and embrace it. Or in this case, maybe take it a little overboard.

With drunken teenagers cheering around him, Louis had his head rested backwards on the breakfast bar. On each side of him was Jonathan and some girl, whose name he didn’t know, each holding a bottle, one of tequila and one of triple sec. An Instant Margarita, it was called. Two people pour the alcohol straight into your mouth and you keeping drinking it until you can’t anymore. No one ever measured, but it was probably equal to about three of four shots before you were likely to choke. You could even make it an instant cosmo if you wanted to swap the tequila for vodka.

Trying to stand up again after ingesting so much alcohol at once proved more difficult than trying not to inhale the burning liquid that was being poured down his throat. Louis grabbed onto the kitchen sink for balance and almost thought he was going to be sick right there. The crowd that formed even gasped upon witness. But his stomach settled and he turned around for one last cheer before leaving the group to pay attention to the next person who was up.

Everything was getting glossy at this point. Louis moved from the kitchen to the lounge and almost walked directly into a pillar, instead grabbing onto it to push himself away. In the lounge the air was smoky since he didn’t care enough to tell anyone to light up outside. He found TJ on the couch again with his arm around some girl and another tiny cigarette dangling from his mouth. As Louis sat on the arm rest next to him, he took the joint from him to place it between his own lips.

“Oh, hey Louis,” TJ said. The girl moved her head to the side to grin at him. Her lipstick was slightly smeared.

“You seen Harry aroun’?” Louis asked. His eyes felt droopy when he blew out the smoke.

“You sure you’re in the proper state of mind to be lookin’ for him?”

“I’m fine, just wanna know what he’s up t’, y’know?”

“You are so far gone, mate,” TJ laughed. “Liam, you want to get him some water?”

Louis didn’t even notice that Liam was sitting on the couch opposite them. Rob was even there too. Seemed that all three of them had found Edgewood girls to keep them company for the evening. Maybe Louis did need to find himself some company as well, after all.

“Yeah, I got him,” Liam stood up and walked over to Louis. He grabbed one of his arms and threw it over his shoulder to help him stand up. As for the joint, he took it away before having one hit for himself, then giving it back to TJ.

“I need to find Harry,” Louis told him as they stumbled back to the kitchen, bypassing the people who were still standing around the breakfast bar.

“Why Harry?” Liam asked.

“I miss him,” Louis whined.

“You live in the same room, you see him every day.”

“He doesn’t like me anymore.”

“He likes you fine.” Liam sat him down on a chair at the dining room table. There were only three other people sat around it, all at the other end and completely ignoring them.

Once he got Louis stable, Liam walked over toward the fridge to get a water bottle for him.

“He doesn’t want to kiss me again, though,” Louis sighed.

As he closed the fridge door, Liam raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” He asked as he unscrewed the lid and handed the bottle over.

“I just miss him,” said Louis again. He chugged about a third of the water then rested it back on the table. “I need a wee.”

Liam threw up his hands. “Can’t help you there, man.”

Tiredly, Louis stood up from the chair and tried to make his way towards the bathroom. He thought he might be sobering up, which meant he was definitely in need of another drink. Even if he was breaking the seal already.

Down the hall towards the main entrance of the house, he stumbled towards one of the many bathrooms. The light was on under the door meaning someone was already in there, so he leaned most of his body weight against the wall outside while he waited. When the door finally opened, Niall appeared, still doing up the button on his jeans.

“You look brutal, mate,” Niall said, patting him on the back as he passed.

“You don’t exactly look red-carpet-ready, yourself,” he retorted. “Wait,” Louis paused and turned around, “Have you seen Harry anywhere?”

“Yeah, he was talking to some bloke near the stairs, last I’ve seen him.”

“Talking in what way?”

Niall laughed. “Definitely not the way he talks to me, if that’s what you mean. I’ll see ‘ya.”

When he left, Louis walked into the bathroom defeatedly, practically slamming the door behind him. He looked in the mirror only to see how red his eyes were and the bags that formed underneath them. His hair managed to stay slightly intact, but had been pushed back enough times now that it was boarding on dishevelled. He tried splashing some water on his face before taking care of the business he came there for.

He couldn’t help but wonder who exactly the guy was that Harry was talking to. Most, if not all, of the guys here were from Rockcrest. Did that mean he knew him? Niall didn’t give a name, so if he did it was probably only in passing. Whatever, he thought. Harry could do whatever he wanted.

That is, unless he realized he wanted something else. Maybe something he thought he couldn’t have…

Back in the kitchen, the majority of the crowd seemed to have dispersed. Around the corner near the dining table was where most of the booze ended up, right next to a stack of plastic cups. Louis took the bottle of Crown Royal and filled about three shots worth into the cup, then added a splash of Coke for flavour. Not that he could really taste anything at this point anyway.

He took a large gulp, feeling oddly satisfied almost immediately.

“TJ was saying you should slow down, wasn’t he?”

Louis turned around to see who was talking. Approaching the make-shift bar, was Zayn. He took a cup off the stack and filled it with rum and ginger ale, a much more reasonable ratio.

“TJ isn’t my mum,” Louis said, taking another sip.

“True, but I think TJ just doesn’t want to see his friend get rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.”

For some reason, Louis smiled before saying, “I think I’ll be okay, but thanks for the concern.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Louis noticed Harry leaning a hip against the counter in the kitchen. He had a drink in his hand and was chatting up someone who must’ve been the guy Niall was talking about. Since his back was turned, Louis couldn’t see his face, but he was shorter than Harry by only a small amount and had almost black hair.

Bringing his attention back to Zayn, he was suddenly struck with, what he considered, a brilliant idea.

“I don’t think I remember the last time we talked alone,” Louis said, subtly taking a step closer.

“I think it was at the smoke pit about a month ago. Right before you left, remember?” prompted Zayn.

“Not sure how much that counted. I was a mess,” Louis breathed out a laugh, making Zayn smile slightly.

“Well, how many exes do you know that often hang out alone?”

“Fair point,” Louis was making his voice lower as he smirked. “But we could change that.”

Making sure to check his line of sight first, Louis pulled Zayn foreword by the loose fabric on his shirt until their mouths were pressed together. Completely taken off guard, Zayn wasn’t sure how to react within the first couple seconds. Not until Louis tried to deepen it did he clue in to pull away.

“What are you doing?” he said harshly, taking a step back. “There are people around!”

“They’re all too drunk to care!” Louis defended.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know, I just thought for old time’s sake we could…” he tugged Zayn closer by the bottom of his leather jacket while trying to slightly divert his eyes to look at Harry. They made contact briefly and Harry looked concerned as he peered over his cup, but stayed mostly invested in his own conversation.

Noticing this, Zayn turned to look over his shoulder, then almost laughed.

“That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” he stage-whispered.

“What _what_ is about?”

“This. Pretending like you want to hook up ‘one last time.’ You’re trying to make him jealous, aren’t you?”

Offended, Louis pushed him away and said, “Fuck you,” while taking a step back.

“I’m not wrong. We both know that there’s nothing between us anymore. We’ve moved on.”

When Louis glanced in Harry’s direction again, him and the guy he was talking to were both gone.

“What exactly do you want me to say?” He snapped.

“That you were only trying to use me to make him jealous. I just think you need to hear yourself say it.”

Louis said nothing, only downed about another shot’s worth of his drink.

“You know you like him, and it’s making you crazy. You can’t prove it otherwise.”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“Not to me, to yourself. Admit it, you’re in love with him.”

“I’m not _in love_ with him.”

“Then you must like him a whole lot if you’d risk trying to drunkenly make-out with your ex, just to make him jealous.”

He chugged the rest of his drink.

“Can you just stop?”

He reached for the bottle of whiskey to pour more in his cup.

“Why are you trying so hard to deny it?”

He slammed the bottle back down on the table.

“I’m going upstairs.”

Leaving the cup behind, he pushed past Zayn and mostly everyone else in his way until he reached the staircase. He tried to jog up, but quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen and grabbed onto the railing. Then he felt it again. His stomach was churning and twisting and was about to expel its contents any second. He used the rest of his energy to sprint to the top step and toward the bathroom. Slamming the door behind him, he only just made it before he was hurling out his insides.

As the minutes of pain went by and his forehead beaded with sweat, he collapsed backwards on the tile floor. It felt nice and cold against his back. He didn’t want to be the person who passed out on his bathroom floor, so he did his best to stay conscious. Part of that was recounting his probable worst mistake of the night.

What exactly did he think he was going to achieve by kissing Zayn? Was he even successful in making Harry jealous, or did Harry just assume that they were getting back together? Whatever the repercussions were, he’d have to deal with them tomorrow.

In order to stand up, Louis had to grab onto the cupboards to pull himself to a hunched standing position. He ran the water from the tap to rinse his mouth out and splash some more on his face, but that was all the energy he had before he was sitting with his back against the wall and a hand towel draped over his face.

A knocking sounded at the door and he mustered up the strength to ask, “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? Can I come in?”

There was no doubt that it was Harry’s voice, but Louis didn’t care what state he was in at this point. He still wanted to see him.

“Sure,” he called back.

The door opened slowly and Harry sauntered in holding two water bottles that were so cold the outside was covered in condensation. He handed one to Louis, who instead of opening it, rested it against his forehead so it would absorb the heat away from his body.

“Thanks.”

“Rough night?” Harry asked, bending down to sit against the bottom of the cupboard. In need of a bit of sobering up himself, he opened the other bottle and took a sip.

“You could say that.”

“That was quite the display in the kitchen.”

Louis’ chest thumped. “It was just a drunken kiss, it didn’t mean anything.”

“Actually, I meant Jonathan and Vicki pouring straight liquor into your mouth.”

This time, a much lighter thump. “Ah, so that’s her name.”

“Yeah, the girl with the short black hair. She’s nice, I was hanging out with her a bit.”

Louis looked at him confusedly.

“Wait, that guy you were talking to in the kitchen when I- was that her?”

“I guess, since I haven’t been talking to any guys.”

“Bastard,” Louis shook his head, “Niall said you were talking to some bloke.”

Harry laughed. “Niall is shitfaced. Also, what do you care if I talk to “some bloke,” anyway?”

Removing the water bottle from his head, Louis sank a bit lower.

“I don’t,” he muttered, taking off the lid of the bottle. “How’d you know it was me up here?”

“Saw you stumbling up the stairs and heard the door slam. I figured, after a night of drinking, there weren’t many good reasons for one to be rushing to the toilet. Speaking of that, you okay?”

“Depends if you consider sobering up to be okay.”

They didn’t say anything for a moment. Louis drank his water and wished that it was more alcohol instead. Not because he wanted to get even drunker, he just wanted to go as long as he could without feeling the embarrassment of what he just tried to do back downstairs.

“I’ve missed talking to you,” Harry said.

Louis took another sip and looked at the ceiling to avoid responding, even though he was thinking the same thing.

“When you left for those two weeks, did you come here?”

“I thought about it,” Louis confessed. “It would’ve been great to be alone, but it didn’t feel right coming here. I don’t like this house much. It’s not a home.”

“Where did you go, then?”

“Patrick’s.”

Harry’s head shot up. “Really? He wasn’t mad at you?”

“I thought he might be, but no. He even said it was probably for the better, and it let his wife go back to work during the day since he could watch the kids. Cutest little girls, they are.”

“Out of all the places you could’ve gone, why Patrick’s?”

“I don’t know, I guess I was just feeling kind of lost and he was always the person I could go to for anything. Although, he did make me go to public school.”

“You went to _public school?”_ Harry gasped dramatically, making Louis laugh.

“Only for about a week, but yeah. I don’t know how you did it most of your life. Everything is so dirty and unorganized no one seems to care what goes on.”

“That’s called coming from a lower-middle-class family.”

Louis laughed quietly and closed his eyes for a minute while resting his head against the wall. Man, it felt nice to let them rest for a second. The exhaustion stage of his drunkenness was beginning to set in.

“You never told me what happened with _you_ while I was gone,” said Louis, eager to change the subject.

“Well, right after you left is when I broke up with Sean.” Louis looked like he was about to say something, but Harry stopped him. “I know, it was a long time coming. But it’s over now, so before you ask again, I’m perfectly fine. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“Alright,” Louis nodded. “Anything else happen?”

“Yeah, actually,” Harry looked down as a smile grew in his face. “I, uh- I got my acceptance into Oxford. Well, Cambridge too, but I’m going to pick Oxford.”

Louis’ eyes lit up and he instantly leaned forward to pull Harry into a celebratory hug.

“Congratulations!” His voice got muffled by Harry’s shoulder. “That’s incredible, I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks,” Harry grinned, a hint of light in his eyes.

Louis had to pull away because his stomach was starting to feel a little twisty again and he needed to settle it. There was no way in hell he was going to puke while Harry was in the room. He really needed to get the rest of this alcohol out of his system.

But he was still smiling when he looked at Harry. How could he not?

“I’ve missed you too, you know,” Louis said.

On the other side of the door, a banging sounded making them both jump and look up at it in surprise.

“Other people need to use the toilet, too!” Complained an undistinguishable female voice.

“Sorry, just a second!” Harry called back. “Maybe the toilet isn’t the best place to fill each other in on our lives. Here, I’ll help you up.”

Harry stood up first, then grabbed onto Louis’ arm to help him steady his balance. At once, it felt like all of Louis’ blood was rushing to his head. His knees were weak and an immediate state of drowsiness overtook him.

“Woah,” Harry said when Louis almost collapsed again as he reached for the door handle.

“I think I just need to go to bed.”

“I think you’re right.”

They didn’t realise that a small line had begun to form just outside of the bathroom door. The few people waiting glared at them as they walked past, but Louis was too busy feeling like he was drifting in and out of consciousness to notice. Harry was more focused on the almost entirety of Louis’ weight that he was dragging to one of the guest bedrooms. He checked handles of each one to find one that was unlocked. Louis’ room was one of the locked ones.

“Is this my room?” Louis asked when Harry finally found one and turned the light on. He squinted, trying to keep his eyes open, but the intensity hurt too much.

“I don’t know how else to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure there’s a couple fucking in your room.”

“Well, I hope they’re at least having fun.”

Louis’ tone was so serious that it made Harry snort a laugh.

“C’mon, let’s at least get that jumper off.” He helped Louis by pulling it over his head, leaving the plain white undershirt behind. Without opening his eyes, Louis tried to get the button of his jeans undone to take them off too, but he kept fumbling his hands.

“I can’t,” he mumbled.

“Alright, let me.” When Harry stepped forward, Louis leaned his forehead against Harry’s shoulder, ready to pass out right there. When he got the zipper down, he tried to help Louis back into standing on his own. “You can do the rest,” he told him.

To get out of the jeans, Louis pushed them down a bit then shook his legs until they were around his ankles and he could just step out of them. Without another word, he fell back onto the bed and bunched his face into the pillow.

Trying not to move him too much, Harry pulled the duvet out from under Louis so he could drape it over him instead. Turning to leave, he flicked the light off when he reached the doorway.

“You aren’t going to stay?” he heard Louis ask through the darkness. He thought about it for a moment, then sighed through a smile.

“Just go to sleep. I’ll bring you some Advil in the morning.” He wasn’t even sure Louis heard him, or if he was already out cold.

Before he closed the door, Harry made sure to lock it from the inside so no one could get in without a key. You know, just in case.

Back downstairs, Harry found it a lot harder to enjoy the rest of the party. Instead, as he wandered around without much purpose, he wondered what it would be like if he did stay. If he crawled in next Louis and fell sleep, the two of them carelessly intertwined together. To wake up that same way.

When exactly was Harry going to give in, and let himself fall in love with the boy that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since they met as roommates all those months ago?


	17. Chapter 17

“You’re kidding, right?”

“What is this, the 60s?”

“We aren’t going to Woodstock.”

The group stood around the driveway of the London house where they (meaning Louis) decided to meet up before heading to the festival. TJ told them not to worry about what car to use, he had it covered. He didn’t mention the vehicle he had was a vintage blue VW bus that was probably older than his parents who bought it for him, but it was restored to look almost brand new.

TJ folded his arms over his chest. “Would you like to try and cram all eight of us in a sedan instead?”

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about, I think this is sick,” Zayn said, swinging open the doors for the back seats to look inside.

“You would,” Liam quipped.

“Well, since Zayn was nice, he can have shotgun,” said TJ. The others only groaned. “Shouldn’t have been ungrateful shits then,” he shrugged.

Once all the bags were piled in the very back and the rest of them stuffed themselves into the bus, they were on the way to the festival. On the first bench sat Rob, Niall, and Jonathan, which proved to not be the best idea considering that bench was the narrower of the two and Rob was by far the largest. That meant Harry, Louis and Liam took the back, Harry squishing between the other two.

“How long is this drive, again?” Niall asked when they pulled onto the main road.

“About four hours,” said TJ, glancing at him in the rear view mirror. “Why, don’t think you can handle it?”

“We’re going to stop eventually, right? I’m going to need to go to the toilet at some point.”

“And to get snacks,” added Jonathan. “We’re going to get hungry.”

“We just ate breakfast, you really can’t wait until we get there?” Rob piped up.

“I’m a growing boy, I need food.”

Things were much quieter on the very back seat. Liam had put his headphones in right away, knowing that he was bound to get annoyed by the others even quicker if he didn’t. TJ had the radio going, which Jonathan was happily singing along to. Zayn felt the need to switch it after every song, insisting that a different station might be playing something better.

Harry didn’t bring any notes or school work with him for once. He decided to make this like a mini vacation for himself. Besides, he was instructed by his counsellor to make spring break a _real_ break as best he could. Taking two days off completely was a start.

It only took about twenty minutes for the boredom to set in. Besides a few comics and their phones, no one thought to bring anything to do on the drive there. Trying to find a position to relax in, Louis propped his feet up on the backrest of the bench in front of him, just behind Niall’s head.

“What do ‘ya think you’re doing?” Niall turned around and immediately tried to push Louis’ feet down.

“It’s a cramped space, Niall. I need to get comfortable,” he said, returning his feet to where they were.

“Get comfortable on your own side of the car.”

“I’m not even touching you. Just pretend they aren’t there.”

Niall turned around again and smacked Louis’ shin in an attempt to get the message across. That only prompted Louis to lean forward and flick Niall in the ear. In retaliation, Niall reached over the seat to try and grab Louis’ legs himself, while Louis retreated and slapped his hands away through a mischievous fit of laughter.

“Do I need to separate you two?” TJ asked, once again observing the scene in his rear view mirror.

“He started it,” Louis whined while Niall sat back down properly.

“Me? You put your feet on my seat!”

“We will turn this car around and no one will go to the festival,” Zayn was mocking TJ’s parental tone. Even still, it was enough to get the bickering to stop.

Two hours of nothing but occasional radio sing-a-longs, mindlessly swapping between phone apps, and Rob’s attempt to start up a game of “I-Spy” went by before they finally made a stop at a petrol station. Since the others needed to use the toilets or wanted to buy food from inside, Harry offered to stand at the pumps and fill the bus. Even though he didn’t drive, filling up a car was one thing he did know how to do.

Niall was out of the building first, walking across the car park with a hand shielding his eyes from the sun. When he reached Harry, he leaned against the car on the other side of the nozzle.

“How’s it going?” he asked.

“How thrilling do you consider putting gas in a car?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Niall tilted his head to the side. “Have things been better? You know, with everything that’s been going on.”

“Sometimes. It’s not exactly a constant process, just continuous.”

“What about with you and Louis? Have you worked things out?”

The nozzle clicked indicating the tank was full, so Harry took it out and returned it to the pump.

“We’re not exactly back to normal, but I’m not sure that’s happening anytime soon.”

“Why not?”

Harry breathed a laugh. “What’s with the interrogation?”

“Not an interrogation. It was just getting kind of weird with the two of you not talking. You went from attached at the hip to not even sparing each other a glance. Was that not hard on you?”

“It’s a lot more complicated than you think.”

“Try me.”

Harry eyed him for a moment, trying to see if he could sense the amount of trust between them. If there was anyone he could count on to not blab a secret, it would be Niall. But it wasn’t much of a secret. It was just how he felt.

“I broke up with Sean for him,” he said simply.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“That night of the accident, we kissed. I was still dating Sean, but I realized then that I liked Louis more. So after the fight, I broke up with him.

“Shit, man,” Niall shook his head. “What were you going to do when he got back?”

“I didn’t know he was going to leave when I did it.”

“Would you still have done it if you knew he was leaving, or do you think you’d be with Sean right now?”

Harry paused to chew on the inside of his lip. “Yeah, I would have still done it.”

“No regrets, then.” It was a statement, not a question.

“No regrets,” Harry agreed.

Across the way, Louis and Jonathan were approaching with slushies in their hands and a grocery bag full of snacks.

“So what do I do now?” he asked, keeping his voice a bit quieter.

“You’re asking me? I haven’t had to deal with dating in years, how would I know?”

He stared at him in confusion for a moment.

“You have a girlfriend?”

Niall only laughed as he straightened himself from leaning. The others were just getting close enough to be in ear shot.

“Man, you’ve got to pay more attention.”

 

Pulling up to the festival grounds, Louis stared out the window at the array of colourful cars and tents that were parked along the grass. Already, there had to be people covering almost a square kilometer. TJ drove slowly across the man-made dirt road that divided the grounds in half, watching out for the people walking around obliviously.

The layout was truly organized chaos. There were no assigned spots, it was all first come first serve until the lots were filled. Between the eight of them, all they had was the bus and one tent that was meant to fit, at most, four people. Not exactly enough space for all of them, but they would make it work.

Liam, TJ, Zayn, and Rob took charge of making the tent. Liam held out the instructions to try and guide them, but TJ insisted that they didn’t need them. So what should’ve taken about ten minutes, really took them almost an hour.

Since they got there, music had already been blaring from the opening acts. The artists and bands that played earlier in the day were all the unknowns, but sometimes those were the best performers of the weekend.

“You want to go check out the stage?” Louis asked. He and Harry were sat in the grass, watching the others in their failed attempt from afar. Niall and Jonathan had already disappeared to go on the hunt for beer.

“Do you think they’ll be okay without killing each other?” Harry nodded towards the others.

“We’re going to check out the site,” called Louis as they both stood up, brushing the grass and dirt from their jeans. “Don’t stab each other with the tent poles while we’re gone.”

On the way to the stage, they passed by quite the array of characters. Some looked like typical university students just wanting to have fun, others were modern-day hippies that came to have the vibe speak to their soul, or something along those lines. A lot had set up quite elaborate camp sites, complete with chairs, canopies, large blankets spread on the ground, and cooking supplies. All they managed to bring was the tent with a couple of pillows and sleeping bags. Didn’t want to make it too complicated.

Everyone around was more friendly than they were used to in their day-to-day lives. A lot of them offered a smile as they walked by, and some even asked if they wanted to hang out for a drink or something to eat. One group that had about fifteen people, and the largest campsite they had seen, mentioned that there was going to be a bonfire at midnight after the last performance. They told them they would ensure to be there, and would bring the rest of their friends as well.

When they reached the stage area, there were much fewer vendors than expected. A single strip of food and liquor stalls fenced one side, and the rest of the space was taken up by people. Despite previous jokes, the vibe given off was more definitely more Woodstock than Coachella.

“Is this the same festival you and Zayn went to last year?” Harry asked. They were just nearing the edge of the crowd. Instead of fresh air, all you could smell was the weed people were smoking, but it wasn’t exactly a horrible scent.

“Nah, that was over the summer. This was the first time you’ve been to one at all, right?”

Harry nodded. “Anything I should be concerned about?”

“Well, you’re smelling one of them.”

“I still haven’t tried that, you know.”

“What, weed? Do you even want to?”

“I don’t know.”

Louis looked at him curiously for a moment and then smiled. “I’ve got something that you’ll like better, but you have to wait until later.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, you can-”

“Don’t say-”

“-trust me,” they said at the same time. Harry wanted to roll his eyes, but instead he had to laugh.

Soon enough, Liam and Zayn found the pair among the crowds and tried to join them by squeezing through annoyed attendees who were cramped together. More and more people were gathering and soon the only way to get out would be to crowd surf to security.

The sun was starting to set and both the audience and the artists were having the time of their lives. When more well-known music got played everyone started singing and dancing along to their heart’s content. At least, as much as you could dance along when you were nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, back-to-chest with the people around you.

Niall was spotted eventually as well, using the volume of his voice to find his friends by shouting their names. He eventually spotted Liam and called for him, holding up the bottle of vodka and six pack of beer he had somehow managed to scour. He brought it over to them, careful to hold it to his chest at risk of anyone taking it from him. First, he handed the already half-empty bottle to Harry, then proceeded to hand out the beers to the other four.

“Did you bring that other thing I asked you about?” Louis asked. It was between bands so while he didn’t have to shout, attention was still being brought to them for making a slight scene.

Niall pulled out a small bag of what looked like dried up worms and handed them to Louis with a smirk. “Have fun,” he said.

Harry looked down at the baggy that Louis was now examining, eyebrows pulled together. “What’s that?” He asked.

“Shrooms,” Louis said simply.

“Like mushrooms?”

“Halluncinogenics. Magic mushrooms,” he tried to explain.

Louis opened up the bag and pulled out two for himself, then offered it to Harry. He hesitated for a moment, eyes flickering between the bag and Louis’.

“You’re just supposed to eat them?”

“No, you snort it up your nose,” he deadpanned, and for a second Harry almost looked concerned. “Yes, you eat them!”

He popped the two into his mouth first, eating them like they were nothing. Harry held onto his as Louis passed the bag around to Liam and Zayn, then back to Niall. They all had theirs chewed and swallowed while Harry was still inspecting his.

“You aren’t actually going to hallucinate. One is not nearly enough for that. All it does is make you feel light and everything looks a little cooler. That’s it,” Louis assured him. “You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to,” he added.

Harry glanced at it one more time, then took a bite slowly.

“I didn’t expect it to actually taste like a mushroom,” he curled up his nose.

“It’s better with chocolate. Here, down it with this instead,” Niall unscrewed the bottle that Harry was still holding and let the cap fall to the ground.

Harry ate the rest of it quickly, then took a large swig from the vodka bottle. The alcohol felt like it was cleansing the inside of his mouth.

“How long does it take to start working?” he asked.

“Give it about ten or twenty minutes,” Zayn smiled. “You’ll know when it hits you.”

For Harry, he didn’t start to feel it kick in until halfway through the next band. That was when the colours became more vibrant and the music sounded clearer. Louis was right about feeling light and floaty. He also felt sleepy, but the good kind where you’re so calm and relaxed. He’d never been high before, and he still wasn’t sure how often he wanted to feel like this, but he definitely understood the appeal.

Between each band, they somehow got pushed closer to the front. After the sun had already set, they were probably less than ten rows of people away from the stage. All personal space was lost now, and soon they found themselves in the mosh pit.

“Just move along with it!” Louis shouted into his ear over the music. He noticed the slight frightened look that had appeared on Harry’s face.

So he tried to move and dance as best he could, at first only to avoid getting pushed around, but they he started to get into it. The cheering from the crowds and the music so loud he could feel the vibration right to his bones was just starting to sink in. Excitement flowed like the smoke in the air, each breath only adding to the high.

Crowd surfing, Harry noticed, was growing to an excessive amount. Not even ten minutes would pass before another person was shouting to look behind them and help a new person glide over the sea of people. Another thing Harry wasn’t aware of before was the amount of people who would sit on each other’s shoulders to get a better view of the stage. He always just assumed it was something you would see in staged photos, but around him there were dozens.

“Louis,” he had to yell so he would hear, as well as touch his far hip to get his attention. He was standing just in front of Harry and involuntarily backed into the touch, making it easier for Harry to speak in his ear. “You should get on my shoulders,” he said.

“Can you lift me?” Louis yelled back.

“Of course I can. Get on.”

While the packed crowd made it hard to maneuver, Harry managed to sink down low enough that Louis could climb on his shoulders, careful where he was shifting his weight. Harry was right about him not being heavy, but he still had to have Zayn and Liam help his keep his balance as he tried to stand back up.

There wasn’t much he could do in terms of moving around with Louis on his shoulders, but that didn’t stop him from having a good time. Especially with Louis waving his arms around and cheering as loud as he could after each song. The drummer from the last band even tossed him his stick, which Louis surprisingly caught, but didn’t keep.

Early in the show, Harry noticed the girl in front of them crying when the band came on. At one point, she even whispered to her friend how she couldn’t believe they were real. Louis must have seen the interaction as well, because as soon as he was let back down, Louis handed the drumstick right to her. She cried again and thanked him, looking like she wanted to give him a hug. With the biggest grin he could foster, he assured her that she would appreciate it much more than he would, anyway.

As midnight hit and the last artist closed the show, the masses of people dispersed. Some to go home for the night, others to join a party in the campsite and drink until dawn. When the five of them found Rob, TJ, and Jonathan, they all agreed that the latter was the way to go. Louis mentioned again about the bonfire they were invited to, so that was where they were headed.

The whole way back, Harry boasted about the concert. He exclaimed over and over again how amazing the whole experience was, even after he felt himself coming down from the high. He wanted to go again next year. Hell, he wanted to go again tomorrow. He would live at the festival if he could.

Dozens of people had gathered around the bonfire. The entire campsite had turned into an after party. Music still blared over speakers, most people were drunk while laughing and dancing with their friends. There was nothing to stress about here. That was probably why Harry loved it so much.

“Having fun?” Harry approached Louis with his hands in his pockets. He was standing with a group of people who were in mid-conversation, but wasn’t too engaged himself. Instead, he was staring into the bonfire, deep in thought.

“Hm?” Louis said, then looked up when he realized who it was. “Oh, yeah! You?”

“I have to say, this has been unlike any experience I’ve had before.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, but I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt this exhausted from doing something actually fun for once.”

“I was thinking the same thing. Hey, have you seen any of the guys?”

“Niall, TJ, and Zayn are over there,” Harry nodded towards a grouping of lawn chairs that seemed to be the nearest source of all the smoke. “Not sure about the others. I’m sure they’re fine though.”

“That, or they’re passed out somewhere in a strangers tent.”

“Since when are you one to get so concerned?”

“I just want them to be okay, is all.”

“You’re too sober,” Harry laughed, even though he was too.

“I think I’m starting to like it better that way.”

Louis continued to look into the fire, and Harry continued to look at Louis.

“What?” Louis asked when he noticed the staring.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Where?”

“I don’t know, just around. Away from here.”

He glanced at the people he was with, but they weren’t paying him much attention anymore anyway. “Yeah, okay,” he decided.

The first few minutes were spent excitedly recounting the show, then complaints about how hectic it would be when they tried to leave in the morning, then mutual content with the experience as a whole. At this point, bad or good decisions made, it would all make a great story.

“Thanks for brining me with you, here,” Harry said as they trudged passed some empty campsites. If it wasn’t for the scattered industrial lights, the grounds would be pitch black.

“What do you mean? I didn’t do anything, Zayn had the tickets.”

“I know. But you’re the reason I’m here.”

As nice as the sentiment was, it only made Louis sigh. “Why do you still hang out with me?”

“What?” Harry said, taken aback by the question.

“I know I’m a bad influence on you.”

“Don’t feel sorry for yourself, man. That’s your dad and Finch talking.”

“I got you in trouble for things you probably wouldn’t even think to do otherwise, I was the reason you ended your last relationship, then I was an asshole and left after doing it all. Seriously, why are you still around?”

“First off, you are not the reason for me breaking up with Sean. We were never good together. Second, getting in trouble wasn’t all your fault. Sure you’re persuasive, but I could’ve said no.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I’d never done anything really exciting in my life. Never had any cool stories to tell. Then I met you and suddenly my life actually became exciting. Every weekend I had a new story to tell. Eventually, I think it became less about the story and more about the experience. I didn’t say no because I wanted to have all these new experiences, and I wanted to have them with you.”

Unsure how exactly to respond, Louis looked down to collect his thoughts.

“I can honestly say, Harry, that you’re the most interesting person I’ve met.”

And then was Harry’s turn to be at a loss for words. They were nearing their own campsite now, and a gust of cold wind made them shiver. Louis breathed hot air into his hands to warm them up.

“Should we talk inside?” Harry suggested. “It’s freezing when you’re away from the fire.”

“Please,” Louis said. Harry opened the door to the bus so they could climb onto the seats.

They sat on the middle bench while Louis reached an arm over the driver’s seat to start the engine so the heater would turn on. Normally, leaving the key in the ignition would not be the smartest idea, but they were in the middle of a crowded campsite with no clear road. If someone was going to steal the bus, where exactly would they go?

There were a few raindrops on the windshield and new ones falling every second. The air was so cold, they didn’t even notice the droplets as they walked around. They probably made a good decision leaving early before the rush to get away from the impending storm.

When Louis sat back down, Harry’s knee was folded in and touching his thigh. Louis tried not to let the feeling distract him from what he needed to say.

“I’m sorry for leaving,” he finally confessed. “And I’m sorry for not calling. You were right, it was selfish of me, and I’m really fucking sorry.”

“I forgive you,” Harry said simply.

Louis blinked at him.

That’s it? No fight, no looking for a further explanation? Only forgiveness, just like that?

“You aren’t still mad?”

“I mean, I’m not happy you left, but I know you didn’t go with bad intentions. I care more _about_ you, than dwelling on being mad at you, Louis.”

“Well… okay,” Louis leaned his head back on the seat.

“Okay,” Harry nodded.

“Is that it then? Everything is fine between us?”

“I’ve missed you too much to keep pushing you away.”

Slowly, Harry brought up a hand and brushed his hair away from his eyes, then traced a thumb across his cheek. His hands were cold, but Louis didn’t flinch away. The touch made all the blood rush to his face. It made him still, but his heart race. He felt both excited, and completely at ease.

“I really want to kiss you,” Harry said.

Louis nodded. “Okay.”

In an instant his heart began thumping faster. Okay. This was really going to happen again. Okay. Okay. Okayokayokayokay.

Harry leaned forward, only enough so their lips could brush together. Louis stayed still but closed his eyes right before he felt the brief touch. That tiniest bit of contact sent his stomach into a full on gymnastics routine. Then a click was heard next to them and a gust of cold air enveloped the previously warm space. On instinct, they pulled away from each other, Louis going as far as distancing himself by sliding backwards on the seat.

Was it really that hard to get one moment alone?

“Quit hogging all the hot air, will ‘ya?” Niall said, bounding through the opening of the double doors.

“I’m not sleeping in the rain, either,” said TJ, trailing him.

“That’s not fair, only four people fit in the van,” Jonathan whined. Zayn had just showed up as well. They were all slightly out of breath, indicating that they were probably racing to see who could get to the bus first once they saw it was already running and occupied.

“Have fun in that tent with Rob,” TJ laughed, “Does he even fit in there on his own?”

Jonathan waved a middle finger as he grabbed his bag off the floor of the bus and trotted off to the tent with Zayn.

Harry and Louis exchanged confused glances, unsure of what exactly just happened. Did they not understand what they interrupted, or did they just not care? Either way, getting no reaction was better than being embarrassed, they supposed.

After they passed around the sleeping bags and pillows, Louis opted for the floor while Harry took the bench on their side. As exhausted as Louis felt before, now he was wide awake.

As he lay on the floor, dreaming without sleeping, there were two things Louis knew for sure: his friends had terrible timing, and he was definitely, without a doubt, falling for Harry.

 

The next morning Louis woke up feeling like he couldn’t move. Every joint in his body ached from sleeping in the hard bus floor and his movements were stiff as he tried to sit up.

“Mornin’,” Harry said, sitting now near the window on the bench with his knees up in front of him and his phone in his hands.

“What time is it?” Louis asked, his voice hoarse from all the screaming at the concert last night.

“Nearly noon. Everyone’s up except Rob and Niall.” Harry pointed his thumb at the bench behind him where Niall was still laying on his stomach, completely passed out.

Crawling towards the window, Louis peaked out to check the scene. After the rain last night, the site had become one large mud pit. Everyone’s tents and chairs, and even their own bodies had gotten absolutely covered in mud.

When he caught Liam’s eye through the window, he signalled for Louis to open the door. He did so without thinking and shivered when the brisk air was let in.

“What?” Louis asked with vexation as held the door open.

“Are you guys finally ready to go?”

At the back of the bus, the hatch of the window was being opened by Jonathan and Zayn so they could fit the disassembled tent inside. When Jonathan tried to toss a bag on top of the forming pile, it fell off the other way and landed on Niall’s stomach.

“Oof!” he groaned from his half-asleep state.

“Get up, then!” Liam leaned around the corner to say.

Louis barely had the chance to even pull on a pair of joggers before the bus was being turned back into a proper vehicle.

“Anyone seen Rob?” TJ asked, poking his head through the open door next.

“Not since last night,” Harry replied.

“Well he better get his ass back here soon before we leave without him.”

TJ slammed the door shut again so Louis turned back to Harry.

“Please tell me we’re leaving soon to get breakfast,” he said, collapsing back on the sleeping bag. “I’m desperate for coffee.”

“I think they’re still trying to clear a road so everyone can get out. Not sure they were expecting that rain.”

When he moved towards the door himself to stand up stretch out properly, Louis immediately realized the mistake of avoiding the port-a-potty when his bladder shifted.

“I’ll be right back,” Louis said to Harry. He tried to fix his hair so he would look slightly presentable while trudging through the campsite.

“Wait,” Harry reached out like he was going to touch his arm, then stopped himself. “Can we talk?”

“Now?” Louis asked, but Harry just kept looking at him. “In a minute, okay?”

“Oh, okay.”

Louis slipped on his shoes, now trying to get out of there as fast as he could. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to talk to Harry, but he’d barely been up more than ten minutes and hadn’t had the chance yet to collect his thoughts after last night. Maybe the fresh air would help him a bit. And the distance from everyone else.

As much as Louis would like to think it wasn’t the case, there one thing about himself he always knew to be true. He never learned how to process his emotions. When he was angry or upset, all he could do was sulk or cry or try to make himself numb. Confusion or stress would result in anything that would distract him from his problems. Whether it be watching a movie, going for a drive, or drinking until he passed out. It was escapism, and it worked. In theory.

The reality was he couldn’t avoid problems for the rest of his life. Whether it was a conflict with his dad or conflict with his head. You can’t run away from your own mind.

This time Louis didn’t want to run away. He wanted to be with Harry. But now that it felt so real the thought was starting to scare him just as much as it excited him. He didn’t want to run away from Harry, he wanted to run away from his mind.

If Louis was going to do this, he needed to do it right. Not because it was easy or convenient. Not because they were alone and drunk in a dorm room where one thing lead to another until they woke up I            n the same bed the next morning with no clothes, and only faint recollections of what happened. He wasn’t just going to say “fuck it, might as well,” only to have his heart broken five months later. This wasn’t the same.

On the way back, Louis could see that a lineup of cars began to form to exit the festival. Others looked like they were planning on relaxing for the day and drinking the hair of the dog to cure their hangovers. As he passed one campsite, he noticed someone lying underneath a picnic table on one of the few patches of grass that hadn’t turned to mud. He had a sleeping bag wrapped tightly around him and was in the fetal position.

“Rob?” Louis asked, walking towards the sleeping person. When he didn’t respond, Louis kicked at him, only hard enough to wake him up.

“Hm?” He mumbled, hardly moving.

“What the hell are you doing under there?”

He tried blinking his eyes open, but wasn’t expecting to wake up in direct sunlight. Still, Louis saw his face, and it was definitely Rob.

“Where am I?”

“Jesus, mate, how much did you drink last night?”

“I have absolutely no idea, which means far too much.”

Helping Rob up and leaving behind the soaking wet sleeping bag, the two made their way back to the others while Rob tried to recollect the events of the night before.

“I know I made it to the bonfire, which is where it all went downhill, but where did that sleeping bag come from?”

Louis laughed and threw an arm over his shoulder, having to reach more than he expected. “I think you’re just going to have to accept that it’s a night you’ll never remember, my friend,” he said.

As they approached the bus, Harry was the first one to spot them from where he was leaning against the bumper. He jumped up and reached Louis before anyone else even noticed they had returned.

“Louis, before we go I really think we should-”

“You found him!” Liam exclaimed first, appearing from the other side of the van. The centre window slid open and Zayn poked his head out.

“Man, you look like shit. Where were you?” he asked.

“Who cares, if it means we can finally leave,” Niall’s voice could be heard groaning from inside the bus as well. He was yet to move from that bench.

TJ rolled down his own window from the driver’s seat. As it turned out, they already had the whole vehicle packed up and were only waiting on Louis and Rob’s (hopeful) return.

“Everyone get in. If you want breakfast, we need to leave now!” he announced, promptly starting the engine as he did so.

Louis turned to Harry who was looking defeated. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to have this conversation. In fact, he really did want to. He liked Harry. God, did he ever like him. But they had to do this the right way and not be rushed. Timing was just not on their side.

“The second we get back, okay? Then we’ll talk.”

Harry sighed, but still nodded. “Okay.”

As the car drove through the puddles and sludge that had formed on the ground the night before, it got completely covered in mud. The splashes got so high that even the windows were getting smeared.

The first stop, once they finally reached a proper road, had to be breakfast. Food and coffee were all anyone could think about. They were told there was a great cafe only ten minutes away. So since none of them knew where anything else was in the town they were visiting, they figured it was their best bet.

“Hey,” Niall nudged Louis, speaking only just above a whisper. When everyone was getting in the car, Louis managed to end up in the middle of the back bench between Niall and Jonathan. Definitely not his preferred seating choice, but there was no way either of them would swap for the centre seat.

“What?” Louis said in his normal voice.

Niall glanced at each of the other boys’ faces to make sure they weren’t paying attention. Then he pointed between Harry and Louis and mouthed the words “are you guys together?” while making a clasped hands gesture.

Louis opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again before shaking his head. Confused by this, Niall held a finger up to signal for him to hold on, then pulled out his phone. Louis did the same and opened up their conversation, looking at the three little grey dots until a message appeared.

_Not to pry, but what was that last night then?_

Louis thought about it for a second before typing back, _I don’t really know. We haven’t talked yet. Don’t worry about it._ For good measure, he tacked on an _lol_ before hitting send. Nothing was funny, but he didn’t want to sound upset.

Looking back up at him, Niall offered a small smile and mouthed back, “okay.”

When they finally pulled into the parking lot, the entrance was clearly crowded from people waiting for a table. TJ slowed down as he drove by the door and groaned.

“Are you kidding me?” he said, folding his arms over the top of the steering wheel.

“We could go somewhere else,” Zayn suggested.

“We don’t know anywhere else,” TJ sighed again. “I was really hoping we’d have time to wash the car before we started back, but there’d be no time if we have to wait here.”

“We aren’t really going to wait, are we?” complained Louis, raising his voice loud enough so TJ could hear all the way at the front.

“I have an idea,” Niall piped up, looking at Louis. “Why don’t we wait here for a table, and you go wash the car so we don’t have to do it later? Bring someone with you, even.”

“Why is that a better idea than- oh,” TJ stopped, clueing into the intent. “Okay, that works.”

“I want to come!” Jonathan declared. Niall gave him the evil eye and subtly nodded towards Harry. “Oh, never mind, I guess I can stay,” he caught on, but still sulked anyway.

If it wasn’t obvious before, it definitely was now that they were all staring at him. But then Louis remembered how little he cared if anyone knew about something going on between him and Harry. In fact, he wanted everyone to know. Once there was something to tell, he’d tell the whole world if he felt like it.

“Alright, then. Harry, feel like going to a drive?” Louis grabbed his shoulders and poked his head around to ask.

“Sure, I’ll go,” Harry smiled.

Everyone else toppled out of the car while Louis and Harry got into the front two seats. Louis hadn’t exactly driven anything like that before, but the nearest car wash could be seen only a block away, so he could manage.

Pulling into an empty stall that was shielded by rubber curtains on either side, they both got out to put the money in the machine. It was really only a one person job, but Harry felt weird sitting in the car. Plus, Niall’s implication for getting them alone together seemed to be so they could have that talk.

“Which one do you use first?” Louis asked. He wasn’t used to the car washes that you had to do yourself instead of driving through a building.

“Is there a water one? Or just soap maybe?” Harry was scanning through the options.

“Let’s just do them in order and hope for the best,” Louis decided, pressing the first button. The wand had a trigger on it near his finger, so he pulled it and began spraying down the car.

“So should we talk about yesterday, then?” asked Harry. He had to speak above a normal volume because of how loud it was in the building.

“We should, but, um, I don’t know what exactly to say.”

“Should I start then?”

“Please.”

Harry took a deep breath to compose himself, then spoke. “I like you. I really like you, and I think I have for a long time. After that night when we crashed the wedding, I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss that happened afterwards.”

That made Louis smile. As he continued to listen, Harry followed him around the car.

“That day you left, you thought I was worried about hurting you because I was still with Sean. The reason I broke up with Sean was because I wanted to be with you, but I didn’t want it to be so soon after. I had to be sure, and now I know that I am. Even with all your lame jokes and the dorky movie obsession…”

Louis smirked and pointed the wand at Harry’s legs to spray him with a blast of water. Harry screamed, but laughed at the same time. “Hey, it’s still cute!” He defended. “My point is, I wasn’t wrong about how I thought I felt. I really like you.”

“You said that,” Louis smiled again.

“I know.”

“Is it my turn?”

“I mean, yeah, I’d hope so.”

Louis pushed the next button on the machine and handed the wand over to Harry. “Good. You do the soap, and I’ll talk.”

“Deal.”

“Is it enough to say I feel the same?” He began, walking to avoid the streams of muddy water that were flowing into the drains.

“Is that all you want to say?”

“No,” Louis sighed, “It isn’t. I know I like you, and I want to be with you, and I wish that when I woke up in the morning that you were next to me instead of all the way across the room. I wish that we could hold hands when we walk across campus, and that when I drive you to a date it would be our own. I wish we could be together and happy and flaunt it to the world without giving a shit what anyone else thinks because having each other is all that matters.”

Harry hadn’t got much past the driver’s side door because he was too busy with how intently he was listening to what Louis had to say. When he was finished, Harry repeated, “ _Now_ is that all?”

“No. I really like you.”

“You already said that.”

“I know.”

They were both smiling the biggest smiles their faces could manage. Corners of mouths stretched apart and eyes crinkled above cheeks. Because he couldn’t take how much space there was between them, Louis took a stride forward and Harry dropped the wand. They pulled each other together, arms wrapped in an embrace, and they kissed. Eagerly and excitedly and with more ease than they had before.

This was right. This was what they were waiting for all along.

It wasn’t a solution to any of their own problems, but that wasn’t what they were looking for. They needed each other more than they realized. So then again, maybe, together, they were some sort of solution. Or maybe they were meant to guide each other to find one.

Harry didn’t care when they accidentally backed into the bus and he definitely was getting soap all over the back of his shirt. Hey, at least it was clean. Louis was holding his cheeks delicately in his hands, as Harry had one arm wrapped around his waist, and the other resting on the back of his neck. It was slow and it was light and it was perfect. Best of all, it was uninterrupted.

When they parted, Louis rested his forehead against Harry’s. _Wow_ , was the only word that crossed his mind. They couldn’t stop smiling. They couldn’t stop being happy. Harry was more than glowing now. He was beaming.

“Maybe we should get back too…” Louis tried to say, but _God_ he was bursting with happiness.

“Yeah, we should,” Harry finished.

Then Louis kissed him again just because now he finally could.

“The others might get worried,” he said again.

“Let them worry.”

So they kissed once more and kept kissing until they realized that they really did have to get back. Harry didn’t forget about his now soap-covered shirt, so Louis found one in the backseat that he could wear instead.

The machine for the wands buzzed signalling they were out of time, so Louis fed it more change and they washed the car as quickly as they could. They just wanted to get out of there so they could get home and enjoy each other’s company while they were _together_ for the first time.

When they got back to the diner, the others were still waiting in line, but claimed to be next up. Harry and Louis didn’t bother trying to hide their happiness from their friends, but they also didn’t have to announce anything for them to get the hint. It was long awaited.

“Hey,” Jonathan said, looking confusedly at Harry when they stood up to be seated at a table. “Is that my t-shirt?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has All The Fluff and I absolutely love it. Alternative title: The One Where and Harry and Louis Have the Most Extra Friends in the World. Just trust me.   
> (Very mild sexual content warning.)

Nothing was back to normal because everything was better. That’s how Louis felt in the weeks following spring break. When he and Harry returned to their dorm, there wasn’t any type of awkwardness between them, or uncertainty of how to navigate this new area of their relationship. They still went about their daily routines of school, homework, eating in the dining hall with the guys, but they also managed to find a lot more time to spend together.

Without the ability to go off campus with the car, Louis found that he had a lot fewer ideas to keep entertained. Instead of driving along dark roads with music blasting, they would go for a walk around the courtyard until curfew or the sprinklers would come on, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. A lot more time in their room was spent kissing, which definitely wasn’t a bad thing.

While they had agreed to take things slow, they still didn’t like the idea of sleeping in separate beds every night when they were only a few feet away from each other. The first night back they tried, when everything was still brand new, but Louis couldn’t take much more than a few minutes of trying to fall asleep. Instead, he got up to cross the room and slipped under the blankets right next to Harry. He wrapped an arm around his middle and nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck. It was much better that way.

As more nights went by and the new sleeping arrangements became habit, they soon realized that two people trying to sleep in a twin sized bed was getting a bit impractical.

“We can’t just move the beds,” Harry said one day while they were relaxing after dinner. Louis was sat on Harry’s bed with his back against the wall, and Harry was using Louis’ thigh as a pillow while he balanced his feet on the headboard.

“Why not? Your desk can go where my bed is, then we put my bed under the window and push the two together.”

“What’s a prefect going to say if he walks in and sees that we’ve moved all the furniture around?”

“He won’t say shit if he knows what’s good for him.”

Harry dropped the comic he was flipping through so Louis could see him roll his eyes. “What makes you think you’re so tough?”

“I could fight someone if I had to,” Louis defended, playing absentmindedly with a curl on the side of Harry’s head.

“Someone could be robbing you in broad daylight in the middle of a crowded street without any weapons, and you’d still probably just hand over your wallet. Face it, Lou, you’re too nice.”

“Am not.”

“It’s not a bad thing, babe,” Harry smiled, lifting up a hand to lightly stoke his cheek. “Besides,” he added, pointing to the feet of the bed, “all the furniture is bolted to the ground anyway. Couldn’t move it if we wanted to.”

“Dammit,” Louis said, but he was still grinning. “I guess we’ll just have to sleep really close every night, then.”

“Not sure I’ll be able to manage.”

“It’ll be quite the struggle.”

Harry giggled and Louis leaned down so he peck him softly on the lips.

Everything was better because this was the new normal.

 

As the end of the school year came closer and exams were approaching, Harry needed to study. And when he studied, he needed his full attention to be on the coursework for hours on end. No cell phone on, sometimes not even music at this stage. He felt he was slacking off in the last couple of months and couldn’t risk his grades slipping as a result.

Which is exactly why bringing Louis along to the library was a bad idea.

“Why are we sitting diagonal from each other?” Louis whined. They both had textbooks and binders open in front of them, but only Harry was actually looking at his. Louis had been making a study playlist on his phone for about half an hour now.

“Because if we sit across from each other it’s more distracting,” Harry said, not looking up from his work.

“But I want to look at your face.”

“You can still see it when I’m not directly in front of you.”

Louis huffed like a child and leaned back in his chair. He stretched his legs out in front of him and accidentally kicked Harry’s ankle. Then he did it again on purpose to get his attention.

“Are you trying to play footsies with me?” Harry asked, holding back a laugh.

“When can we take a break?”

“Louis, you wrote down definitions from the glossary for forty-five minutes, then went on your phone for thirty. Are you really so tired already that you need a break?”

“Yes!” Louis exclaimed.

When Harry finally glanced up at him, his eyes were pleading and he had his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “Fine, a five minute break, that’s all.”

“Finally!” Louis closed his books then moved over to the next chair so he was directly across from Harry. He pushed Harry’s books out of the way then took his hands in his just so he could touch him.

“What did you need this break so badly for?”

“I dunno. To talk.”

“We talk all the time.” Harry raised an eyebrow. “Is something wrong?”

“No! No, nothing’s wrong,” Louis assured before Harry could worry. He was playing with one of Harry’s rings by spinning it around his finger. “I don’t think I got the chance to tell you how proud I am of you.”

“For what?”

“Your Oxford acceptance, getting the best marks in the school, everything. We still need to do something to proper celebrate.”

“Let’s wait until you get your Cambridge acceptance too, then we’ll celebrate together,” Harry said excitedly.

“I did get my acceptance, I’m just not going,” he shrugged.

Harry stared at him, furrowing his brow. “What do you mean you aren’t going? I know your dad helped you get in, but you can’t throw away an opportunity like that just because you’re mad at your parents.”

“It’s not because I’m mad at my parents,” Louis pulled his hands away, but kept his voice calm. He wasn’t about to argue.

“You know how many people would kill to be able to get into a good school, _and_ have their parents be able to pay for it?”

“Like you?”

“Not just me.”

Louis hesitated and looked down at the table, absentmindedly scratching at a carving in its surface. “I just- I want to go somewhere that accepts me on my own merit. I worked hard to get my marks up and I know they aren’t perfect, but they’re enough. If a university wants me, I want it to be because I worked for it. Not because of who my dad is, or his money. I know I’ve been lucky, and I know I sound spoiled, but I need to do it this way.”

Harry smiled, almost sadly, but with understanding. “I know you do,” he said. “Does your dad know you aren’t going?”

“Not yet, but I’ll tell him eventually. I still haven’t spoken to him since the accident.”

“Really? But that was over two months ago.”

“It’s not like he’s tried to get in touch with me, either. At least my mum called. Wanted to make sure I was still doing okay without the credit cards and offered to send money. She didn’t believe me when I said I was fine.”

“You’re still cut off?”

“Indefinitely.”

Harry pulled Louis’ hands back into his. He missed the warm feeling.

“So where did you go for spring break, then? After the party, I mean. I assumed you went home.”

“I just stayed at the London house. It was fine. A bit boring, but at least I had the festival to look forward to.”

Harry looked down at their hands. He was tracing the lines in Louis’ palm with his thumbs. “I could’ve stayed with you if I’d known.”

“You really think I would let you ditch your family for all of spring break so you could mope around with me?”

“Or you could’ve come home with me, instead.”

The idea of it made Louis pause. That was something he had never done before; meet the parents. Or, as Harry made it sound, the extremely loving mother and the overprotective sister. With the amount Harry spoke about them, Louis knew he loved them more than anything in the world. And Harry assured that they were going to love him as well.

“I do want to meet your family one day.”

“Maybe this summer? You could come stay with us for a few weeks. I’ll show you my hometown like you showed me yours.”

“That sounds really nice,” Louis smiled, then brought Harry’s hand closer to him so he could peck just above his knuckles. “Now, that break was more than long enough, but I think I’m going to head out.”

“You’re leaving?”

He pushed his chair out and began to collect his books into his bag. “I love spending time with you, babe, but you need to study and I don’t want to distract you anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he said as he approached Harry’s side of the table and gave him a lingering, parting kiss. “I’ll be in the room when you get back.”

“Promise?”

“Of course. Where else would I go?”

 

Surprisingly, Finch agreed to let Harry and Louis now have their weekends free from custodial duties in order to study for exams. For their Saturday shift, the last one they’d ever have to endure, Harry was glad, for once, that he and Louis were assigned different buildings. Not because he wanted to be away from Louis, but because it would be much easier for him to begin setting up his “plan,” especially when he needed to make a quick stop before returning back to the dorm.

Unfortunately, when he did get there, Louis was already in the shower, as mentioned in the sticky note he left above the light switch. Next to it was a second one that read “Movie tonight?” with a small heart underneath it. As great as that sounded, Harry had a much better idea in mind.

But first, he also needed to take a shower.

Since Harry entered one of the stalls before Louis came out of his, they didn’t even cross paths until Harry emerged later. Louis was already dressed and blow drying his wet hair in front of the mirror and noticed Harry approaching behind him in the reflection. He was wearing only his pants and a towel around his head.

“Hey, I didn’t notice you come in,” Louis said, turning off the blow dryer so they didn’t have to speak over it. His hair was still quite damp, so he attempted to brush it to the side with his hands.

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ middle and rested his head ono his shoulder, still trying to balance the towel so it wouldn’t fall off. “Got any plans tonight?” he asked.

Louis hummed into the embrace. “Did you get my note?”

“I did, but I was thinking we could do something else.”

“Like what?”

He turned Louis around so he could look at him instead of his reflection. “Would you want to go on a date with me?”

“A date? Is that not what we’re doing when we go for walks or watch a movie in bed?”

“I mean a proper date. Dinner and a movie. Something classic.”

“I’d love to, but how are we going to get to a restaurant or the cinema? We can’t leave campus anymore.”

Harry smirked. “Let me ask you something, Louis. Do you trust me?”

The question made Louis laugh since it was the same thing he used to ask Harry over and over. His intention was more for persuasion, but that wasn’t the case anymore. He still nodded. “Yeah, I trust you.”

“I’ll pick you up at six, then. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in.” Harry picked up his button-up shirt from off the counter and pulled his arms into the sleeves.

“Pick me up? Harry, we live in the same room.”

“You said you trust me, didn’t you?” He said, then was already out the door.

Instead of going back to their dorm, Harry only dropped off his toiletries bag and quickly dried his hair before taking the lift up to the next floor. He walked down the hallway casually until he reached the room he was looking for. The door swung open right after the first knock.

“When I said you could get ready here, I didn’t mean you should show up naked,” Zayn said, stepping out of the way so Harry could enter.

“I’m not naked! Underwear and a shirt count, don’t they?”

“You didn’t even button the shirt. Did anyone see you like that on your way up?”

“Oh, whatever,” he said, stepping aside to look for TJ. “Do you have that jacket?” he asked.

“There’s a few you can pick from.” TJ was at his closet, fishing around in the back until he pulled out three jackets on their hangers and laid them out on his bed. For once it was actually made.

“Don’t go with that brown one,” Zayn pointed to it. “You’ll look like a middle-aged university professor who’s had more than one affair with his students.”

Harry looked at him puzzled. “That has a look?”

“It does, and that blazer is it.”

“I’ll make this easy, pick the grey plaid if you like the white undershirt, or pick the black if you like the floral undershirt,” TJ said.

“Black and floral it is.” Harry picked the jacket up by the hanger and moved it to the other side of the room where he had more space to change. He already brought with him the black jeans and both undershirts, he just needed Zayn and TJ’s input to decide.

“Are you nervous?” TJ asked as he put the other jackets away.

“Not really.” Then he paused. “Well, maybe a bit. I just want it to go well, and I hope he likes everything.”

“Did Jonathan and Niall say they’re ready yet?”

“Just got the text that they’re bringing the food over now.”

As he pulled the jacket over his shoulders while looking at himself in the full-body mirror, Zayn walked over the fix the collar on his shirt. Harry held still and watched his movements as he smoothed out the fabric over his arms.

“This isn’t weird for you, is it?” Harry asked.

“Why would it be weird?” He didn’t meet Harry’s eyes.

“Because we’re really good friends, and I’m going out with your ex.”

“Alright,” he took him by the shoulders kindly. “You gotta listen because I’m only going to say this one more time, just like I did a few months ago when you first told me you liked him. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest if you two date. Me and him, that’s way in the past now. There’s not even a fragment of anything left there. If you guys are happy together, then I’m happy for you. That’s it.”

The way he smiled when he said it was more reassuring to Harry than anything. All he wanted was to ensure there would be no hard feelings, and the honesty written on Zayn’s face read that that was exactly the case.

“Thanks, man,” Harry said, pulling him in for a brief hug.

“No need to say that. This has nothing to do with me.” Zayn patted him on the back before they separated, then gave him a once-over.

“So, how do I look?” Harry asked, taking a step back to pose.

“Really great, actually. TJ, what do you think?”

“It’ll get you laid for sure!” TJ gave him a thumbs up from across the room. Harry laughed, then looked in the mirror once again.

“What time is it?”

Zayn glanced at his phone, then said, “5:58. You should probably leave right away.”

“Need any condoms?” TJ asked, already opening his desk drawer and pulling one out to offer it.

“Um, I think we’ll be okay, thanks.”

“Just ignore him,” Zayn said, rolling his eyes as he opened the door for Harry. “Oh, and don’t forget these.” He handed him the gift Harry gathered earlier that day.

“Oh, right!”

“Have fun,” he winked, then sent him on his way.

Back in their own dorm, Louis had no idea what to wear. Harry didn’t give him any indication of what exactly they were doing or where they were going. “Wear whatever you feel comfortable in.” That’s all he got for instructions. Did that mean a simple jeans and a jacket? A t-shirt with joggers? Pajamas? Hell, what if he felt comfortable naked?

No, he was being ridiculous.

At this point, he’d practically torn apart his closet and covered the square-footage of the room in clothes. Fifteen minutes was really not enough time to get ready. He was only down to about five, by now. Okay, he had to settle on something. A suit jacket and trousers seemed far too formal, but jeans and a t-shirt seemed too casual. Unless, maybe he could pair the t-shirt with a jacket of some sort. He flicked through each hanger. No to the denim jacket, and no to the leather. When he bought the leather jacket, the sales associate made him believe he looked phenomenal in it, but that could just be because of the price tag and the fact that she probably made commission. He wore it once, then didn’t feel comfortable and never put it on again.

The blazer from the night of the accident was definitely a no-go. It didn’t feel like something he could ever just wear casually. The story behind it held too much. He wondered if Harry still had his lying around here somewhere.

At the back of his closet, he finally reached a green bomber jacket. It was simple, and it would go great with a white graphic tee and a pair of jeans. He pulled it off the hanger and glanced at the time on his phone – 5:58 – then rushed to get dressed.

Instead of just walking in like normal, Harry knocked on the door only a minute shy of 6pm. Louis was still pulling on his shoes as he hopped across the room to answer it.

“Hey,” Louis said when he finally got his ankle into his shoe. That’s what he got for being too lazy to untie the laces.

“Hey,” Harry responded, but was almost cut off by Louis’ lips on his.

“What’s this?” he looked down at the bouquet of multicoloured flowers Harry was holding in his hands.

“This is for you,” Harry smiled, handing them to him.

“They’re beautiful, but how did you get flowers here?”

“Let’s just say that crawling around in the courtyard gardens looks a lot less suspicious when you have the custodial cart right next to you. Not until I tried to leave with them did I start getting strange looks.”

Louis smiled happily, then pulled him into an embrace. “Well thank you, I love them.”

“I’m glad.”

After letting Harry go, he scanned the room to try and find something to put them in. A vase wasn’t exactly on his checklist of things he ever needed when he packed for the year.

“Is it shoddy if I put them in empty beer bottles? I don’t think we have anything else that would work.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

He had to divide them into three separate bottles, but after adding some water, he made it work for the most part. By the time they were on their way, most students had already cleared campus for dinner. For them, however, the dining hall was not where they were headed.

“You never told me where we’re going,” Louis mentioned when they reached outside.

“It’s not too far.”

Harry meant what he said because only a minute later they were walking up the steps to the humanities building. It was usually locked on weekend evenings since study groups only took place during the day. But Harry found a perk to working with the custodial staff, and that was getting access to the master key.

“I have to say, H, you’re getting more troublesome by the day. I should be careful, or you might start to become a bad influence on me,” he wiggled his eyebrows at Harry, making him laugh. Louis was starting to think that was his favourite sound in the world.

They walked hand in hand as Harry guided them to a classroom near the end of the hall. Harry opened the door to allow Louis to walk in first where he entered his dimly-lit English classroom. Niall was waiting at the door wearing one of those t-shirts with a fake tuxedo design on it. He had a polite smile on his face and a white cloth draped over his forearm.

“Good evening,” he said in a formal voice, which came out sounding more like a joke. “Please, follow me to your table.”

“For the record,” Harry whispered in Louis’ ear. “I only asked them to set up the table. The rest was their idea.”

“I’d say you should’ve just let me think you put them up to this, but hearing that is much more believable.”

Only one table was set up in the classroom. It was the teacher’s table that was normally at the front, but it was moved into the centre and all the desks were pushed away from it to give more room. On top of a white table cloth were two candle sticks, already lit, and plates and glasses from the dining hall set neatly in front of each chair.

Harry pulled Louis’ seat out for him before he took his own on the other side. Louis wasn’t used to such chivalry.

“How did you get all this stuff out of the dining hall? I thought they put a bounty on your head if you try to leave with anything.”

“You’d be surprised what the ladies in the kitchen will do for you if you just ask nicely.”

Just as Niall disappeared out of the room, Jonathan was entering dressed in the same t-shirt. He was holding a bottle of wine that already had the cork removed. As he poured it into each glass, he tried to explain the type of wine the best he could.

“This is called Purple Vail Chardonnay from Argentina. It was made in mahogany barrels and aged for five years. The flavours should have fruity and chocolaty layers with a crisp finish.”

“Did you just make all of that up?” Harry looked at him curiously.

“Chardonnay isn’t even red wine, it’s white,” Louis added. “It says merlot right on the bottle.”

“Fine then,” Jonathan said defensively. “It’s cheap domestic wine that we found in Niall’s stash and it was the only one that wasn’t stale from being opened already. Does that sound better?”

Across the table, Harry and Louis looked at each other long enough that holding back their laughter was proving difficult.

Louis shrugged, “It sounds more realistic.”

“Your food will be out soon,” he huffed, then left them to themselves.

After the door closed behind him, Louis took a sip of the wine first to see if it was actually any good. “Not bad,” he raised his eyebrows. “Then again, I’ve had wine that’s cost nine hundred pounds and wine that costs five pounds and I can’t tell the difference.”

“Honestly, I didn’t even know what chardonnay was until just now.”

Louis laughed and took Harry’s hand in his from across the table. He loved his hands. How soft they were, yet structured and strong. That was the thing about Harry, he was both strong and delicate. A perfect combination of the two. If he got hurt, he would allow himself to be hurt and learn from it. He was the type of person to put his scars on display and say “Look where I am now. Look how far I’ve come.” He still had a long way to go. We all do, really.

“I can’t believe you put all this work into this dinner. It really is lovely,” Louis smiled.

“I’m glad you think so. But this isn’t everything.”

“It’s not?”

“There’s one more surprise for after we eat. You might even like that one more.”

“Did you bring Quentin Tarentino, himself, here with the entire cast of _Reservoir Dogs_ to act out the whole movie live?”

“Hm, maybe not that exciting. Do you speak from experience?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what happens when your parents are loaded. You just have actors and musicians performing for you left, right, and centre.” Louis sarcasm was spoken with conviction.

“Well then, maybe you should set up our next date. Get The Beatles to perform for us.”

“Oh yeah? All four of them?” Louis snorted before taking another sip of his wine. It wasn’t really something to laugh at, but they were cracking up anyway.

“I wonder if they’d even perform their solo hits.”

“Can’t go wrong with a little Ebony and Ivory.”

“Oh, is Stevie Wonder coming along now, as well?”

They didn’t even notice that Niall and Jonathan were back once more until they were next to the table, this time wheeling a cart that had four plates on it. Two of them held helpings of pasta with a creamy sauce, while the smaller ones were for the salad. Niall and Jonathan took them in each hand and placed it in front of the couple.

“Did you bring the bread?” Niall asked, looking back at the cart with concern.

“No, I thought you were bringing the bread,” Jonathan accused.

“What do you mean? I asked you to put it on the cart when we were in the kitchen!”

“Why didn’t you double check when we were leaving, then?”

“Guys, it’s okay.” Harry put out a calming hand, still smiling from the laughter. “We don’t need bread. Do you want bread?”

Louis shook his head, “I don’t need bread, no.”

“See? No harm done.”

While they stopped the bickering, they still gave each other the evil eye before exiting the room once more. Louis had to be honest, it was hard to take anything they did seriously with those tuxedo shirts on.

“Can you believe that they already had those matching shirts and chose to wear them on their own?” Harry said, seeming to have read Louis’ thoughts.

“Oh, I definitely believe that. Without a doubt.”

Then they were laughing again, and even more as they ate. What would’ve taken most people about twenty minutes to finish, took them over an hour. They were too busy talking and giggling and touching and enjoying every moment of being in each other’s presence. The food even got cold before they could finish eating it. Not that either of them cared. The food wasn’t why they were here. They were just here to be together.

The way Louis felt right now, he hoped it would never go away. Everything being new and exciting. Every day thinking that his heart could burst from happiness. Sure, this was the new normal, but that didn’t make it boring. Right now, it didn’t seem like any of this could ever feel boring.

For dessert they were brought chocolate cake, but were both too full to even finish half of it. Then they talked some more until they polished off the bottle of wine.

“Are you ready for the second half of our date, then?” Harry asked as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already nearing 8:30, but it barely felt like any time had passed at all.

“Lead the way.”

As they got up and exited the room, Niall and Jonathan were both standing at the doorway again. “Liam is waiting at the side door,” Niall said.

Harry nodded. “Thanks for doing this, you guys. Really.”

“It’s our pleasure, mate,” Jonathan grinned.

“Now go enjoy the rest of your night,” Niall urged, patting them both on the back with each hand.

As they took the next few steps down the dark hallway, Louis leaned into Harry to ask, “Why is Liam waiting for us?”

“You’ll see.”

Harry opened the door for Louis to walk out first. Parked at the bottom of the steps was a golf cart, one of which was often used for guests who were visiting campus, or when Finch was too lazy to walk himself to a building on the other side of the grounds. Liam sat in the driver’s seat and turned the key when he saw them coming.

“How the hell did you managed to get this?” Louis asked in surprised. “I thought they locked them all up after that incident in year eight.”

“You mean the incident when you and TJ stole a cart that was left out and tore through campus with it before flipping it in the football field?” Liam said amusedly.

“Don’t act like you didn’t want to do the same. But really, how did you get it?”

“I was a prefect, they have keys to everything in the dorm offices. You just have to know where to look.”

“You have to let me drive it.”

Instead of answering, Liam just laughed and told them to get in. Louis would sulk, but he supposed not letting him drive was fair.

Louis still had no idea where they were going, but he didn’t care much at that point. They could drive circles around campus and he would be fine with it as long as Harry was still next to him.

They drove behind the buildings instead of on the paths to limit being seen by anyone who was still wandering around before curfew. Louis sat with his head on Harry’s shoulder and they didn’t talk as much, but that was perfectly okay. Even more than that, Louis would say.

When they pulled up to the recreation hall, Louis was even more confused than before. But Harry only told him those two words that were always more easily said than done. “Trust me.”

Liam sent them off, knowing soon enough a guard who saw the cart on the security cameras would probably be after him. Whatever, he could spare an hour for the detention.

They entered the gymnasium and Louis first noticed a projector was set up in the centre of it. Straight across was the large screen, usually used for assemblies, already pulled down. Between the two was a couch that must’ve come from the lobby since it was the only furniture that could actually be moved. Rob was standing at the projector trying to adjust the picture to put it into focus.

“Hey guys!” he called out as they approached him.

“What’s all this?” Louis asked Harry as he waved to Rob.

“I told you I wanted to do dinner and a movie. Since we can’t go to the cinema, Rob helped me make one.”

“Alright, I’ve got _Titanic, The Parent Trap,_ and _Almost Famous._ ” Rob held up the case for each movie. “You guys in the mood to cry, laugh, or think?”

“Whichever one you want,” Harry nudged Louis. “I’m sure you’ve seen them all.”

“Actually, I’ve never seen _Almost Famous_ , so let’s go with that one,” he decided.

“Good choice,” Rob smiled, then put the DVD into the player.

Harry and Louis moved over to the couch to sit down. After hitting play, Rob made himself scarce to give them their privacy. Louis watched intently and Harry tried to focus, but had to admit it was hard. Not that the movie was boring, he was just sitting beside someone he found far more interesting.

Around an hour into the movie, Harry turned to Louis and begin kissing his neck. Louis closed his eyes at first to enjoy it, then whispered, “Later,” as a nice way to tell him he was trying to watch the movie. Harry had never seen him watch a movie for the first time. His eyes moved across the screen as he tried to soak in every moment. He reacted by smiling when something made him think, or covering half his face with the blanket when something stressed him out. He absorbed the story lines and cherished the meanings.

So Harry rested his head against Louis’ chest and let him watch. He watched too, and tried to find all the meanings in the storylines. The small things in the dialogue that made it even better if you were lucky enough to catch it. He thought maybe he was starting to get Louis’ whole film thing.

When the credits rolled they decided to walk home. It was already past curfew and the ground, wet from the sprinklers, was reflecting the moonlight. They walked and held hands and talked about how much they loved the movie. Well, Louis talked and Harry listened. He loved hearing him talk. There was so much passion in his voice.

Louis opened the dorm room door first, but didn’t turn on the light. Slowly, he closed the door behind Harry and pushed him back against it. He began leaving kisses along his jaw until he reached his mouth, a lot more heated than usual. Harry pulled his sleeves off his arms and dropped his jacket on the ground, then pushed Louis’ down from his shoulders.

There was no tripping or stumbling as Louis backed up, trying to pull Harry’s shirt over his head while he did so. They ended up at Louis’ bed because it was closest. As Louis lay down, he guided Harry forwards with him. Harry slipped his hands underneath the hem of Louis’ shirt, who leaned forward enough so he could get it off. He then tossed it to the side, not caring where it ended up.

For a long time they kissed, just like that. No reason to rush.

Louis began to let his hand wander underneath Harry’s waistband and moved it slowly, making Harry gasp into his mouth. He then wrapped the other arm across his back to flip them over so he was straddling his waist. Trailing more kisses along his collarbone and down his chest, Louis sat back up for a minute and leaned over towards his night stand.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked distractedly, letting his hands explore the curves of Louis’ hips and back.

Louis closed the drawer and pulled back so Harry could see the condom he was holding. He noticed the expression on Harry’s face drop right away. “We don’t have to if you don’t want,” he said quickly.

That made a corner of Harry’s mouth lift again. He caressed Louis’ cheek in one hand, then pulled him down for another kiss. “Just… not yet,” he said.

Once more, a quick peck. “I don’t want to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

“We can do other stuff still, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

He paused to watch Harry smile, then said, “Does that mean we can still get each other off?”

Harry barked out a proper laugh, which made Louis laugh too, even though he was completely serious. Well, he could never be _completely_ serious. Harry still nodded.

They woke the next morning when only a few minutes of morning remained. Their limbs still tangled together and sleep still grazing their eyes. Louis woke up with Harry’s sleeping face being the first thing he saw. It wasn’t the first time this happened, but it always felt like it every time it did. He watched Harry for a moment, the slow breaths making the sheets rise and fall over his chest. Louis lightly brushed the hair away from his forehead so he could peck the skin there, then let his fingers gently trail down his cheek.

He was excited for Harry to wake up. Excited that today was a whole other day they got to spend together. Knowing that tonight he would get to fall asleep next to him again, and tomorrow he’d be the first thing he saw when he woke up, just like this. It was _all_ exciting and he didn’t think he’d ever felt so happy in his life.

For a long time Louis thought he might love Harry, but right then was when he knew for sure.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Mentions of mental illness in the first half of this chapter.)

Harry was still getting used to the counsellor appointments. He had gone to about four now, but it still didn’t feel normal. Each one was an hour of him talking about himself, which was something he really wasn’t a fan of. He wanted to learn about other people, what their interests were. He figured he knew enough about himself already. But now this counsellor, Anthony, as he was told to call him, was starting to make him think that wasn’t quite the case.

Anthony was quite a bit older, maybe in his fifties. A veteran of the cause, it seemed. He was kind, even funny sometimes. And he had a knack for getting Harry to overshare. Which he supposed was kind of the whole point of counseling. At this point, Anthony knew everything about Harry. About his childhood, his dad leaving, home life, stress from school, his past relationships, and his current one. He tried not to talk about Louis too much, however. He felt more like his relationship was for the two of them. That was one part of his life that he didn’t think needed fixing.

“So how is exam prep going?” Anthony always started off their sessions with a simple question. Something casual that would make a conversation begin naturally.

Harry played with the seam on the pillow he was holding on his lap. Anthony called the pillow a barrier. Harry called it a habit.

“Fine, I guess. Maybe a bit more stressful than normal, but that’s probably because it’s my last year and all.”

“How much have you been studying?”

“About four, maybe five hours a day. That’s only after school, though. I guess more on the weekends.”

“And that’s how much time you feel you need to be spending?”

Harry knew the answer should be no even though he said yes. Whenever there was a follow-up question, what he was thinking was usually the wrong answer. “There are no wrong answers for how you feel,” Anthony would say. Sure, but there was still something wrong in his brain that was feeding him those answers.

“What do you think would happen if you didn’t spend that much time?” His elbows were propped up on his arm rests and his hands were folded, a pen dangling between them.

“I could fail. I mean, I know that I probably won’t, but I think I’m so terrified of the possibility that I want to do whatever I can to prevent that from happening.”

“Have you experienced any big failures in your life, Harry?”

Of course he had. One moment stuck out in his head above all. As hard as he tried, he was never able to get rid of the memory. “In year seven, yeah. We had this big history exam. The end of a unit, I believe it was. All week I was going to set out to prepare. I had begun my revisions about five days before, which was normal for year seven. Then the next day I got ill with the flu. So much so that I could barely move, never mind go to school. I stayed in bed for the next four days until my mum decided I was well enough to go back to school. I hated missing days because I didn’t want to get behind on anything. But the unit exam was first thing in the morning and I had been too sick to study all week. I wasn’t able to get an extension because the teacher was an asshole, to say the least, so I ended up with a D on that exam. I know it’s not technically a failing mark, but it sure felt like it.”

“I don’t imagine that was a great feeling, getting those results back.”

“It was horrible. Embarrassing, even. I didn’t tell my mum. But she never pushed for good marks anyway. Just wanted me to do the best I can.”

“So that’s what you’re doing now, is it? The best you can?”

“I’m trying to.”

It wasn’t Anthony that Harry didn’t like. Hell, sometimes he even found himself enjoying their talks. It was the idea of counselling as a whole. He hated feeling like he was broken. But at the same time, he had to admit that he was feeling better. He was learning how to address underlying causes of his feelings, learning how to cope. That’s what made him keep going back. He may have hated going, but if something inside him was broken, he might as well learn how to fix it.

Sleep was the next part of his life that Harry was advised to focus on this week. Anthony wanted him to stop studying a full hour before he went to bed. Harry told him about the stress dreams he would have of equations floating around in his head that he was somehow never able to solve. To try and stop them, or at least lessen them, Anthony said to give himself time to wind down. Read a book for pleasure, sketch in a notepad, do some stretching. Anything that would put his brain at ease. Relaxation is the key, was what he gathered. Harry still wasn’t too sure he knew the definition of the word.

The sessions were usually held in an unoccupied room in the main offices. Harry always insisted that he walk there and back alone. He needed time to process everything both ways. Talking about your problems for an hour can be pretty draining.

When he got back to the dorm, Louis never asked any questions. At least, nothing too nosey. He’d ask how the appointment was without pressing for details. If Harry wanted to share more, then that was his choice.

“Hey, love,” Louis smiled, turning around is his desk chair when he heard Harry open the door.

“Hey, I brought you coffee from the dining hall.” He handed him one of the to-go cups and placed the other on his own desk. It was the next Saturday night and they had been studying almost all day. Louis even managed to stay focused the entire time, which both impressed Harry, and made him proud.

“Oh, thanks. I was starting to lose my buzz from the last one.” At this point, there were about six empty to-go cups stacked in the corner of his desk from the last two days. That may have contributed to the lack of sleep, which was also why he needed more. It was a vicious cycle.

Harry sat at his own desk and picked up his pen, starting right back where he left off before his appointment. He put his earphones in to isolate himself, then began writing. Louis watched him for a moment, wishing they would’ve had a chance to talk a bit before resuming their studies. But Harry was already back into his zone, so Louis sighed and turned back to face his books.

When another hour went by it was already six, meaning that’s how many hours had passed since they began working. Harry only breaked for lunch and his appointment. Louis was rewarding himself with a YouTube video every hour so his brain didn’t melt.

Louis stood up slowly from his desk and stretched out his back. Man, was that chair making him stiff. He walked over to Harry and took one earbud out of his ear. His attempt to avoid making him jump proved unsuccessful.

“Oh, you scared me,” Harry said, only half looking at him.

“We should head down for dinner soon. It’s already six.”

“In a minute. I just want to finish this last question.”

“I was thinking maybe we could take our own little break before dinner, hm?” Louis rubbed Harry’s shoulders with a smirk, hoping he’d get the hint.

“Really Lou, I-”

“Wow, you’re really tense,” Louis interrupted, then bent down to whisper in his ear. “I can help you loosen up.”

Harry stilled for a moment, admitting to himself that what Louis was doing did feel quite nice, but he had to keep working. Oxford didn’t accept him for slacking off. He got in because he was able to work hard and avoid distractions.

“I really can’t,” Harry sighed, leaning away from Louis’ touch. Louis dropped his hands and looked down at him, admittedly disappointed.

“Alright,” he nodded even though Harry still had his back turned to him. “We can go to dinner when you’re done, then.”

“Why don’t you just head down and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes?” Harry suggested, glancing over his shoulder.

“Oh,” Louis blurted, not expecting that kind of response. “Okay,” he added, a little quieter.

Louis didn’t say anything else before walking out the door. He wouldn’t want to risk interrupting even more than he already had, he supposed.

As he slummed along the paths alone, hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched, Louis was fully aware that he was just feeling sorry for himself. Maybe it was a little selfish for him to want so much attention from Harry, but at the same time, he didn’t like how much he was overworking himself. He wanted Harry to be happy, healthy, and well-rested. Harry just happened to be not so great at making sure those were happening for himself.

Louis set his tray down at the table next to TJ and across from Liam who greeted him with a wave. TJ was too engaged in the story he was telling to even notice Louis was there. With the amount of stories that guy had, Louis wondered how many were true, and how many he just made up for the reaction. Louis ate quietly and listened, glad to finally have some proper human interaction for once today. Even at lunch Harry was the only person he talked to since they arrived so late and sat at a two person table in the corner.

As promised, Harry arrived about ten minutes later. He didn’t bring any notebooks with him, which Louis was glad to see because it meant he was taking a proper break, but he still seemed to be in quite the hurry to get out of there.

They were sitting diagonal from each other since that was the only chair left by the time Harry finally got there. Louis made a point to glance at him every so often as they all ate. He was eating much quicker than everyone else and had much less food on his plate. That was something about him Louis picked up on long ago. When Harry was really focused on something, he would always eat less. Not so much on purpose, it was more like eating was an inconvenience to him. He didn’t want to have to pause. He’d probably wear a catheter if it meant limiting interruptions.

Well, okay, maybe not that far.

“Only two weeks left now, I suppose,” Rob had said. That was the new topic of conversation- leaving Rockcrest. Louis still hated that idea. He’d spent the last eight years here, which felt like the majority of his life even though it wasn’t. But this school had become his home. He wondered if the others were feeling the same way.

“You guys bringing anyone to the end-of-year dinner?” Liam asked the table. The end-of-year dinner was something Rockcrest held for the students in their last year after exams. It was like a dance, but everyone’s parents were there as a sort-of way to celebrate finishing secondary school. A lot of the guys brought dates if they could. Really, the whole thing was pretty boring, but parents loved it, so most kids were forced to go.

“My girlfriend said she was going to fly out with my parents,” Niall said, then pointed a thumb at Jonathan. “Yours is coming as well, right?”

“I think so, yeah.”

Louis stared at the two of them, a little baffled for a moment. “Hold on, you _both_ have girlfriends? Since when?”

“Summer,” said Jonathan, followed immediately by Niall with, “Two years ago.”

“How did you not know that?” Liam asked. Everyone else looked at him like they were wondering the same thing.

“I’m pretty sure even Harry knew that,” TJ laughed.

Harry looked up at mention of his name, but cared more about cleaning up his tray now that he was finished. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Harry said, and was already out of his seat before anyone could protest. Louis watched him leave, but was soon dragged back into the conversation.

“I was talking to you about this over spring break, do you not remember?” asked Niall. This whole discovery seemed to be quite humorous to them.

“I do remember, but nothing else before that. Honestly, I had no idea.”

“Well, it’s not _really_ as shocking as you’re making it seem,” Jonathan said, offended. Zayn snorted, so Jonathan responded by elbowing him in the ribs.

“Actually, Jonathan, now that I think about it, have we ever even seen a picture of you with this girl?” TJ raised an eyebrow.

“He’s got a point,” Louis added. “Is this a real girlfriend?”

“Hey, you can’t say anything! You didn’t even know she existed until today,” Jonathan retorted.

“And I still don’t know if she exists.”

Jonathan slumped back into his chair, defeated, and pulled out his phone while the others laughed at his expense. He had trouble not laughing as well as his scrolled through his camera roll until he found a selfie of the two of them together. He slid his phone across the table towards Louis and TJ, the picture open on the screen.

“There you go, you assholes. Happy now?”

TJ picked up the phone to look at it while Louis glanced over his shoulder. It was just a simple close-up picture of them smiling and looking at the camera.

Niall took the phone from TJ to have a look for himself, then passed it to Liam and Rob next to him. “Could be your cousin for all we know. Maybe even really good CGI.”

“You introduced me to her!” Jonathan cried in frustration, only making Niall laugh harder. “I hate you all,” he decided, throwing his hands up in surrender.

By the time everyone vacated the dining hall, an hour had gone by. The kitchen staff was tidying up the serving tables and had to kick the group out so they could clean the floors. They decided to go to the common room for a round of pool instead since no one felt like going back to their rooms for the night already. It was a Saturday, after all.

On the way there Louis sent Harry a text asking him if he wanted to join them. Louis figured he would say no, but he wasn’t expecting to not get a reply at all. Harry was committed to studying, Louis supposed. If he needed some more space so he could get through exams, Louis would give it to him.

Inevitably, Louis was the first to announce he was headed off to bed. It was fun for a while to just laugh and hang out with his friends. He really needed it. At the same time, it wasn’t the same knowing that Harry was upstairs forcing himself to work until he fried his brain. So he left early, and his friends silently understood why.

When he walked into the room the only light on was Harry’s desk lamp. Harry was still sitting there, but he didn’t turn around when Louis opened the door. He was holding his head in his hands and covering his face.

“Harry?” Louis said, then rushed to his side when he didn’t get an answer. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

Harry just shook his head, then rubbed his eyes harder before revealing his face. His cheeks were blotchy and his eyes were red. He took a deep breath to stop his nose from running.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, keeping his voice steady.

“Love, have you been crying?”

He covered his face again so Louis pulled him into his arms. He lead Harry out of his chair so they could sit on the ground, backs against Louis’ bed and heads turned away from the desk where Harry’s books were still open. He held Harry close and gave him a few minutes to calm down. With one hand he rubbed his back soothingly and used the other to hold Harry’s head to his chest.

He hated this. He hated seeing Harry this way, beating himself up because he put so much pressure on himself to do well. But it wasn’t Harry’s fault. That much he knew.

When he seemed to have slightly composed himself, Louis got back up only for a second to grab the box of tissues that was on top of the mini fridge. He handed it to Harry who used one to dry his cheeks and another to blow his nose.

“How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know. Tired, stressed. I just couldn’t look at the words anymore. It felt like they were jumping off the page, but not in a good way. Like nothing was making sense anymore.”

“You need to stop, Harry.”

“I can’t just stop. Exams haven’t even started yet.”

“Which is exactly why you _should_ stop. You’ve been working so hard, which is something I’ve always admired about you, but this is doing more damage than it is doing good. You’re stressing yourself out to the point of tears. You’re smart, you know this stuff. Tomorrow, you’ll look at that page again and it’ll all be perfectly clear. You just need to let yourself relax.”

“Do you really think it’s that easy?” Harry looked at him, moving slightly away. “I can’t just think to myself “Hey! Maybe I should just relax and everything will be fine!” That’s not how this works. If I stop, all I’ll be able to think about is how much time I’m wasting when I should be working. If I get a question wrong on an exam, I’ll blame that little bit of time I took to walk across campus to get tea, or the hour I spent in the common room hanging out with my friends. I know that’s not the way it should be, but that’s the way I am.”

Louis sighed and reached out for him again. Harry stayed put until Louis was pulling him into an embrace. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it that way. I want to understand, and I really am trying. I just want you to take care of yourself. It’s hard seeing you like this.”

“I’m not trying to worry you.” His voice was muffled by Louis’ jumper. “I don’t want you to see me as this fragile person because that’s _not_ what I am.”

“I know it’s not.”

They stayed like that for a few moments longer. Harry was feeling a lot better now, calmer. He was going to be okay.

“I think I’m finished for today,” Harry decided when Louis let him go. “Maybe we could watch a movie in bed or something. Just to wind down, you know?”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Louis smiled. “How about something funny? I’ll see what I can find.”

Both of them changed into a t-shirts and pants, then Louis set up the computer so they could sit on Harry’s bed as they watched. But inevitably, they did more talking than watching. They were having a much better time making each other laugh than following the plot of the movie. So eventually they turned it off and got under the blankets and talked some more.

Harry stared at the ceiling and listened to the sound of Louis’ voice and his laugh bounce off the walls. The room was dark, but he could still picture what he looked like right at that moment. His eyes were squinted closed and his head was thrown back. He always laughed loudly and with his mouth open so creases formed around it. His teeth would peek out slightly from underneath his top lip, and sometimes he’d do this thing where he covered his mouth with a closed fist like he was hiding his giggles. That was on the, very long, list of things that Harry loved about him.

They began cuddling closer. As Louis talked, Harry moved some hair away from the side of his neck and let his lips brush against the skin there. His hair was getting quite long, Harry had noticed. He thought it suited him well. Louis turned on his side so they were facing each other, then kissed him softly as they both had their heads on the pillow. Harry held Louis’ cheek in his hand, and Louis held on to his wrist.

“I love you, you know,” Harry whispered. This was the first time he said it. It wasn’t as scary as he thought it might be.

“I do know. I love you, too.” He could feel Louis’ smile in the next kiss.

“You know that thing you wanted to do, but I said I wasn’t ready?”

“Mhm.”

“I think I’m ready now.”

Louis paused and traced a hand down Harry’s side. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rush into anything you’re not-” he was cut off by Harry’s lips on his.

“I’m sure,” Harry said, and started kissing him again.

Slowly, he moved on top of Louis so his knees were in either side of his hips. Louis sat up so he could pull his own shirt off, then helped Harry with his. He balled them both up and tried to toss them to the side, but ended up knocking over a cold cup of tea that was sitting on the night table leftover from that afternoon.

“Oh, shit!” Louis exclaimed when heard the splash from it landing on the floor. They both looked down at it and Harry began laughing.

“Don’t worry about it. Who cares?” he said, still holding Louis’ face in his hands.

It really was hard for Louis to care with Harry moving his lips down his jawline and neck. As he kept going, Louis could feel his heart pounding faster in his chest. When he reached Louis’ waist, Harry pulled his pants lower so he could take him in his mouth. Not to get him off, just to get him hard. Louis took in a sharp breath from the feeling, not able to resist running a hand through Harry’s hair.

“Can you get that condom again?” Harry said into his ear when he came back up. He then rolled to his side again so Louis could move.

“Only one?” Louis asked with a wink. Harry responded with a laugh as he lay down on his back, already craving the warm touch of Louis’ skin again.

 

On Sunday morning a knock sounded at their dorm room door. Actually, it was more like loud banging. Harry woke up first in complete disarray. He glanced at the door confusedly for a moment, then muttered in a groggy voice, “What was that?”

“Hmm?” Louis mumbled into Harry’s back, still mostly asleep.

“Did you hear that knocking?”

“What knocking?”

The door rattled again, this time making Louis groan at the noise.

“ _That_ knocking.”

“Ugh, it’s so early, what could they want?”

“How do you know it’s early? You haven’t even opened your eyes yet.”

“I’m awake, but still tired. That means it’s too early.”

“Alright, I’ll see who it is. You sleep.”

Harry pushed the blankets off of him only to realize he was still completely naked. Whoever it was at the door probably wouldn’t appreciate him answering it like that, so he grabbed Louis’ robe off a hook on the wall.

“Wait,” Louis said, just before Harry put the first arm through. He had his back turned to Louis who was looking at him from bed with one eye squinted and a smirk on his face.

“What?”

“I just wanted a second to enjoy the view.”

Harry laughed as he rolled his eyes. He tied the robe around his waist and crossed the room. As he reached for the handle to open the door, he tried to keep most of body hidden behind it. The face he saw on the other side couldn’t even be the last person he expected because the thought would never have crossed his mind.

“Oh, um, hello,” Harry tried to smile politely.

“Good morning,” Mr Tomlinson said. He was dressed in a suit like it was a completely necessary outfit for visiting your child’s boarding school on a weekend. “I need to speak with my son. Is he here?”

“Well, yes, but we only just woke up, see-” but Mr Tomlinson was already pushing past Harry to let himself in.

Louis still had his eyes slightly open, watching Harry while he waited for him to come back to bed, but they grew much wider when he saw who entered the room. He sat up quickly and pulled the bedsheets about halfway up his torso. When he met eyes with his dad, a moment of panic flashed across his face. His dad snapped his head around to look at Louis’ bed, still made from about three days ago, then to Harry, who was now clearly _only_ wearing a dressing gown.

“What’s this?” he asked simply, eyes flickering between the two. Harry stood behind Mr Tomlinson, but looked like he wanted to run to Louis’ side again. He stayed put just to be safe.

“This isn’t a great time,” Louis blurted. The colour had drained from his face even though his cheeks felt like fire.

“Maybe if you would answer my calls I would’ve known what a better time might be.”

“What do you want, dad?” Louis said angrily, both from embarrassment, and from just having to engage in conversation with his father.

“I have something to discuss with you, but it seems as though you are a little preoccupied.” He was diverting his eyes now. It was hard to tell who the most uncomfortable person in the room was at the moment.

“We were only sleeping, not fucking,” Louis said bluntly, voice flat. Harry gave him a look that said “What the fuck are you doing?” but managed to remain quiet.

“I didn’t come here to be hostile, Louis. I just want to have a civil conversation.”

“About what?”

“Why don’t I give you a moment and we meet in the dining hall, alright? I believe they’re still serving breakfast.” His tone was kind, but almost in a mocking way.

It took Louis a moment to think it over in his head, but he supposed the only way to make his dad go away was to do as he wished.

“Fine,” Louis said. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Mr Tomlinson nodded and backed away slightly, then tried to smile at Harry before leaving out the door and closing it behind him.

Harry looked at Louis, who now had his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms folded over them. He walked towards the bed and sat next to him, resting a comforting hand on his back.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked.

“I’m fine, it’s just- After not talking to him for months, that was not the way I would’ve liked to see him again.”

“You mean with him practically walking in on you in bed with a boy?”

“Well, yeah. I know he doesn’t approve of this. You know, me liking guys. And I know I shouldn’t care and just live my life being happy and carefree, but fuck, Harry, it bothers me. We used to get along fine when he thought I was going to live up to everything he wanted in a son, but now with coming out to him and the whole uni thing… it just hasn’t been the same.” He shook his head, then let his chin rest on his arms.

“I don’t blame you for being bothered by it. He’s your dad, he should love and support you unconditionally. And I think he wants to, he just isn’t quite sure how to yet.”

“You think?”

Harry nodded.

“I don’t hate my parents, you know. I may act like all they do is try to mold me and disapprove of everything I do, but I still love them. I know they’re trying.”

“Maybe you just have to let them know that you’re ready to be your own person. You’re your own artist now, you don’t need to be molded anymore.”

That made Louis smile. He got up and kissed Harry on the cheek before climbing over him. “I’m going to go meetup with him,” he said while picking up some clothes off the floor to put on. He was pretty sure the old 70s band t-shirt he now wore was Harry’s. He wasn’t complaining. “I’ll see you down there a bit later, yeah?”

“Sounds good. Try to enjoy your breakfast, at least.”

“I don’t hate the guy, but that might be asking a little much.”

 

Louis did not think he’d be having the morning-after breakfast with his dad.

Wait, that might have come out wrong.

Actually, that’s pretty much what this was. And experiencing it was probably going to be just as uncomfortable as thinking too hard about that previous statement. He walked into the dining hall and spotted his friends first. Everyone was there as usual, except Harry since he left him back in the dorm. At the far end of the room was his dad. He was sat at one of the tiny two person tables in front of a window. He had a full plate of food in front of him and a napkin tucked into his shirt. Cloth, of course. He wouldn’t settle for paper.

Across from him was Louis’ History teacher. He had nothing in front of him, so Louis assumed the chat was just casual. While he waited for them to finish, he walked up to the beverage table and made himself a cup of coffee. He was normally one for tea, but it just didn’t seem to do the trick lately. Coffee didn’t taste nearly as good, but damn, could it keep him awake.

Niall was the first to spot him walking in a direction that wasn’t towards their usual table. He tried to wave Louis over while looking confused, but Louis instead pointed at his dad. Niall responded to the realization with a very obvious “yikes” face, which only made Louis shrug. Louis was very aware that his dad could see the whole interaction.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Mr Tomlinson beamed once Louis was within earshot. Louis wasn’t too fond of that grin on his father’s face. It looked so forced and fake.

“Well, I knew you wouldn’t leave until I met with you.” Louis pulled the chair out from under the table and sat down, not bothering to push it back in. He crossed an ankle over his knee and leaned one arm over the backrest, the other hand holding the coffee in his lap.

“Good to see you got dressed for the occasion,” he said after swallowing another bite of egg.

“That’s not funny,” Louis deadpanned.

“Dressed _up_ , is what I mean. The sarcasm remains.”

“I thought you hated sarcasm.”

“I hate when _you_ use sarcasm towards _me_. I’m an adult.”

“So am I.”

“Nineteen is not an adult. Nineteen is trying to figure your life out while being able to legally drink and vote. Start working and paying your own bills, then we’ll see how much of an adult you are.”

That made Louis shut up pretty quick. He looked down at his coffee, playing with the rim on the plastic lid.

“You aren’t going to eat?”

Louis shrugged. “Not hungry.” That was a lie. He felt like he could eat about a dozen eggs and a whole pound of bacon right now. But if he sat down with his dad for a meal, it meant he’d have to stay until he finished the meal. Waiting for Harry sounded much better.

“I hope you’ll be hungry later today, then. I’m taking you to a dinner with a member of the admissions board of Cambridge.”

Louis just started at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape and a crease between his eyebrows. He breathed slowly, taking his time to decide an appropriate response.

He decided simplicity was the best route to take. “I can’t go.”

“Is it exams? If you really don’t have time I can try to reschedule, but he’s a very busy man.”

“No, I mean I’m not going to go. Not to the dinner, and not to the school.”

His dad put down his knife and fork slowly, then dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin. “I had a feeling you might say that. Son, can I tell you a story?”

Oh, great. Now where was this going?

“You speak in clichés, you know.”

“Louis…”

He sighed and tilted his head back. “I guess so.”

“As you know, my father went to Cambridge, and so did his father before him and so on. When I was eighteen years old, I was in a similar position to you. I had pretty decent grades, but nothing that would’ve gotten me into such a prestigious school without my father’s help. I told him I didn’t want to go. I figured I’d flunk out in the first term anyway, so what was the point? You know what he told me? He said, “Yeah, you will. If you tell yourself you’re going to fail, if you think nothing of yourself or your abilities, that’s what you become. I didn’t think I raised someone who was meant to fail, but I suppose that part is up to you.” So I decided to prove him wrong. I went to that school and I worked hard to get my business degree and look at where I am. Now, Louis, do you think you’re meant to fail?”

He didn’t have to think too hard about his answer. “No, I don’t think I am. I _want_ to work for my success, dad. That’s exactly why I can’t go. I didn’t work for it. I didn’t earn it.”

“Where do you want to go, then?”

“Oxford Brooks.” Louis smiled. It was the first time he told anyone he’d come to that decision. It felt weird to tell his dad before he told Harry. “I applied for their program in sport and health sciences. They even have film classes there. I have conditional acceptance until the end of exams, then I’ll know for sure.”

His dad sighed. “Is this because of that Harry boy? Because he’s going to Oxford?”

“So what if it was? I’ll be going to school, taking a program that actually interests me, and I’ll be able to avoid having to have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend.”

“So that’s what is going on with you two, is it? He’s your boyfriend?” His nose was turned up. This was the part of the conversation Louis was least looking forward to.

“Yes, he is. And I’m really happy. More happy than I’ve been in a long time.”

Mr Tomlinson nodded. He then smiled, maybe a little sadly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you happy. Even with that other boyfriend you had, you weren’t like this. What was his name?”

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“I guess not.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you happy in a while, either.” Louis met his eyes. He felt like he was looking into his own, only older. They’ve definitely seen more. It was the only thing about himself that he thought looked like his father.

“In my entire life, I always thought nothing would ever make me happier than having you as a son. But then I realized that, even more than that, your happiness is what made me happy. I want you to know that.”

In those three sentences, Louis was brought back down to reality. This wasn’t the dad he was used to. These weren’t the kind of words that would normally come out of this man’s mouth. He hadn’t seen this man in years.

“Then why did you cut me off and not speak to me for four months?” Louis accused, losing every amount of mutual affection they briefly shared.

His dad frowned. It was the most genuine he looked all day. “I wish I had a good answer. At first I thought it was healthy to give you space to calm down. You’ve always been rebellious, so when you ran away I knew there was no way I could bribe you to come home, or even back to Rockcrest. I suppose I thought I had gave up, which was not fair to you at all. A parent should never give up on their child.” He paused, then leaned forward. “Louis, I’m sorry.”

In his nineteen years of life, Louis’ father had never apologized to him. Not that he could remember, anyway. But this felt real. Almost too real. Louis was seconds away from bursting into tears. Not wanting to cry in front of everyone in the dining hall, he just nodded his head and looked at the ground.

“I can’t forgive you yet, I don’t think,” Louis finally said. His voice was a little weak, so he coughed to cover it up. “But I appreciate the apology. And I’m sorry too. I haven’t exactly made your life easy.”

“I don’t blame you. I know how fun it is to be the rebellious kid. Don’t forget, I went to Rockcrest too. You’ve probably been old enough for a while, now, to hear those stories.”

“Yeah?” Louis grinned, almost excitedly. There were still tears brimming his eyes. He tried to wipe them away with his thumb and hoped his dad wouldn’t notice. “Like what?”

“I think we should save them for another day. Maybe over a drink at the pub, once you’re finished here and have all of your stories to tell me as well.”

“I think that sounds like a brilliant idea.”

Louis waited until his dad was finished with his breakfast before he got up to leave. He told him that his History teacher had just explained how well Louis was doing in his classes. How much he had improved and the potential he was showing. Then he told Louis that he was proud of him. It was a long time since he last heard those words come from his dad’s mouth. Not even when Rockcrest won the football finals last year, Louis scoring the winning goal, did his dad say he was proud.

They didn’t hug goodbye- that wasn’t something Louis was ready for yet- but his dad did pat his shoulder as a parting gesture. He told him that he wouldn’t make Louis go to the dinner tonight, but he wouldn’t give up on getting him into Cambridge yet. He was stubborn that way. Louis was pretty confident in his decision to go to Oxford Brooks. His stubbornness must’ve come from the same place.

When he walked back to the table to join his friends, Louis had this smile on his face. One that made his whole face light up. A smile that you could see in his eyes. It came from his thoughts, not as a reaction to what was in front of him. He sat in the chair next to Harry and picked a piece of French toast off his plate. It was sticky and covered in syrup, but it didn’t bother him much as he took a large bite.

“Did everything go alright?” Harry asked. He spoke just above a whisper to keep the conversation between them.

“Yeah, it did,” Louis nodded, chipmunking the food he was chewing. “Me and him, I think we’re going to be okay.”


	20. Chapter 20

For some reason Harry and Louis’ dorm became the dressing room for the end-of-year dinner. Exams were just finished yesterday and the students finally had time to let their brains recover. That is, until they had to worry about results.

For now, their friends crowded around the single mirror, changing shirts and readjusting ties. Honestly, Louis didn’t think he’d ever seen a group of teenage boys so worried about their appearances. This was the first time he’d seen all them in suits at once, he realized. Admittedly, they all actually looked quite nice. Put together. Older.

TJ was tugging at his collar uncomfortably and complaining that any bit of fabric touching his neck at all would be too tight. He never wore his uniform tie, either. Not even Finch could force him to, but parents came to the end-of-year dinner, and his mum definitely could.

Jonathan and Niall dressed to match their girlfriends, who happened to both be wearing red. Instead of looking like they had dates to match, they ended up just matching with each other. It didn’t seem to bother them much. When Louis pointed it out- _“Did you two idiots do that on purpose?”_ \- they found it quite hilarious and decided to just roll with it.

Putting his own spin on a classic suit, Zayn decided to go sans-tie and instead wore a bandana around his neck with a few of the top buttons of his shirt undone. Rob admired the look as he adjusted his cuffs and asked if Zayn had another one he could borrow, but there was no way he would let anyone copy his style.

“You aren’t going to match your date?” Liam asked, leaning a hip against the doorway of Louis’ closet and crossing his arms. Louis was still buttoning up his shirt. It took him far too long to decide if he was going to go for a relaxed look with a t-shirt and blazer with rolled up sleeves, or do the whole nine yards like the rest of them. Harry ended up convincing him to go with all black and cuffed trousers. He wouldn’t have chosen the outfit himself, but Harry had an eye for that sort of thing. Whatever pairings he thought might work, usually did.

“Why do we need to match? This isn’t prom.”

“Isn’t that a couples thing, though? You both wear the same colour tie, or wear inverted colours or something.”

“If we did that we’d just look like a couple of private school kids. So pretty much how we look every Monday.” Louis reached for his tie that he was holding between his knees.

“Touché,” said Liam, eyeing the way Louis’ hands flipped and looped the tie around his neck. “Do you not know how to tie a tie?” he asked.

“Um…” Louis trailed off, trying to pull the smaller end through a loop. “Not really.” He sighed, giving up.

“What about your uniform tie? And how many galas and parties where you’ve had to wear one have your parents dragged you to at this point?” Liam laughed, stepping in to his aid.

“I think I lost count after the age of nine. But I never ended up learning. The house keeper at home was practically my nanny. If she wasn’t around to help me get ready, mum usually was. As for the uniforms, I always had this.” He reached for the clip-on tie that was sitting on the mess of a shelf next to him and held it up.

“Where’d you get that?” Liam raised an eyebrow, laughing.

“Found a lookalike in some shop. Saves a lot of time on Monday mornings.”

Liam stood only a few inches away as he undid the mess of knots then flipped Louis’ collar up and draped the tie over his shoulders. Louis noticed he smelled clean and like pine, with a hint of whiskey coming from his breath. They may have indulged in a few pre-dinner drinks. It wasn’t like they were going to be able to drink at the dinner anyway. That’s why they had their handy flasks in tow, tucked into coat pockets and trouser waistbands. If they had to sneak off to the toilets for a swig, so be it.

“There’s this saying, you know,” Liam began, a smile curling at his lips. That was the face he made when he thought he was going to say something insightful. Hardly ever actually was. “I don’t really remember who said it. Some baseball player, I assume. ‘Born on third base, but thought they hit a triple.’ You’ve probably heard it before.”

Louis nodded, “Sure, a few times.”

“I used to think that described a lot of the guys here. Came from old money and had mummy and daddy grant their every wish. Then when they become successful as adults, they think they worked hard and made it in life. But really, they were born into success. And for a lot of the guys around here, I still think that reigns true. Not for you, though.”

“No?” Louis smirked. “What exactly makes me so special?”

“Don’t get me wrong, you were definitely born on third base, but I think you know you haven’t made it.” Liam folded the collar of his shirt back down and brushed off his shoulders even though there was nothing visibly there. “You understand that the success of your family isn’t your own.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“More like an observation, I guess. A privileged kid who knows he’s privileged.” He mused. “I’d still say you’re spoiled, self-aware or not.”

Louis shrugged on his jacket next. “I’d say you’re probably right.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re a shitty person, though.” Liam clapped him on the back. “You’re selfless. You’ve got good intentions and a soft heart. Use your privilege to show that.”

“Don’t boost my ego too high,” Louis grinned sarcastically, then the smile turned serious. “But thanks, man. That’s the plan, I’m thinking.”

“Good. Now enough of this sappy talk.” Liam turned to the room and pulled his flask from his pocket. “I need another drink before enduring the next three hours of speeches and nostalgia.”

“You think you’re gonna cry, Li?” Zayn asked as trotted towards him. He took the flask from his hand and tilted it to his mouth.

“I don’t really know. Rob will, I’m sure,” Liam sent him a friendly wink from across the room. Rob just spread his arms in a wide shrug.

“I’m human, man. Everyone needs a good cry.”

Louis, for one, knew he was definitely going to cry. He was a sucker for nostalgia and the buildings on this campus were full of it. But he’d wait to reminisce. He still had another day at Rockcrest. No sense in drying out all the tears on treasured memories yet.

Right now, Louis really needed a mirror, but he wasn’t sure when exactly he’d get his turn. At the end of Harry’s bed where the only full size mirror was, Niall, Jonathan, and TJ were all shoving and elbowing each other out of the way so they could make any and all final adjustments.

“Out of the way!” Louis demanded, pushing through the small group. “This is my room. If you need a mirror so bad, go to your own.”

“Fine, _your highness_ ,” TJ droned. He collapsed back on Louis’ bed, clearly not caring if he wrinkled his suit, while Niall and Jonathan took Louis’ advice and retreated to their own dorm.

Louis brushed his hair forward and to the side a few times, trying to get the pieces to fall across his face just right. God, he really needed a haircut. The length was falling just past his neck in the back at this point. He almost needed a headband just to keep it out of his face.

“Wow,” Harry’s warm voice tickled his ear. He rested his chin on Louis’ shoulder as he, very obviously, checked him out in the reflection. “I always knew you were fit, Lou, but this is going to drive me crazy.”

“What about you? That shirt is buttoned so low it’s just unfair.”

“I’m sorry, do you not like to be teased?” Louis giggled as Harry brought his arms around his waist

“We do make quite the pair, don’t we?” he said, viewing their shared reflection, Harry’s head poking out next to his. They met eyes in the mirror.

“You do know we all have ears, right?” TJ groaned as he stared up at the ceiling, fingers folded together over his chest.

“Yeah, get a room!” Rob added, laughing at himself.

Louis turned around and Harry let him go from the embrace. The moment was ruined anyway. Whatever, they’d have plenty more.

“We do have a room,” Louis retorted, placing both hands on his hips. “ _You_ all invaded it!”

“He’s got a point,” Liam said. He and Zayn were leaning against Louis’ desk. Zayn had an arm loosely slung over his shoulders and was still nursing that flask. “You might want to be careful where you lay, TJ, all things considered.”

Louis shot him a look from across the room that was only met with a shrug. It wasn’t like they never did laundry. But Liam wasn’t exactly wrong in his assumptions. There was definitely a lot that had been done in, on, and next to (just the one time), that bed. The sheets, however, were now perfectly clean.

With that said, TJ still sat up, almost robotically, and stepped towards the door. “I’m going to go hang out in the idiots’ room,” he announced. When he opened the door, Niall was standing on the other side, fist up like he was about to knock. TJ jumped back slightly, then eyed Niall like his presence alone offended him. It was nothing personal, just the defensive way his brain decided to react.

“Oh, good,” Niall chirped. “Jonathan needs you. Something about shoes you were going to lend him.”

“Speaking of that, didn’t you say you had a watch for me to borrow?” Rob asked. He had replaced Louis in the spot in front of the mirror.

“Right. Idiot Number Three, let’s go get Idiot Number One,” TJ said, swapping places with Niall in the doorway. He held the door open for Rob until he was about an arm’s length away, then let it fall shut on him. Rob caught the handle just in time, following him out the door.

“Who’s Idiot Number Two, then?” Niall asked the room.

“I believe that’s you,” Harry said, almost sympathetically as he held back a laugh.

“Damn, couldn’t even get the top spot,” joked Niall in spite of himself.

“It’s okay, TJ’s title as Asshole Number One is set in stone,” piped Liam. He seemed to have finally noticed that Zayn was hogging the flask and snatched it from his hand. “Slow down, mate, you gonna get yourself shitfaced before we even get down there.”

“Yeah,” Louis added. “Save it for after when we’re all ready to black out.”

“You’ve gotta admit, this thing is going to be a lot easier to get through when you aren’t sober,” Zayn sighed, leaning his head onto Liam’s shoulder. Liam craned his neck to get a look at his face.

“Are you alright, man?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m… just going to miss you guys a lot.”

Liam, mouth dropping to a frown, pulled him proper in for a hug, then grabbed Harry who was only a few steps away from them. By extension – since their arms were already linked – Louis followed in behind him, then Niall crossed the room to join in. They all stood there for a few moments, just the five of them. Zayn sort of ended up squished in the middle, but it didn’t mean he didn’t like it.

No one else said it out loud, but they really were going to miss each other. They didn’t know if the next time they would all be together would be next week or at a reunion in ten years. Everything was up in the air. For now, though, they were still all together. That was enough.

The dinner started about twenty minutes before they were actually ready to leave. Niall texted Jonathan to come back with the rest of them, feeling a little guilty they got left out of the group hug. Oh well, they still had a few hours left for the eight of them to brood.

Louis had a mixture of nerves and excitement brewing up in his stomach. This time, for a new reason. Not because of school ending or because he was walking into the dinner with his boyfriend on his arm. No, he was worried because he knew Harry’s family was here. His mum and sister. The two women Harry loved most in this world. And Louis was going to meet them.

He thought back to the time he first met Harry. Out their dorm window they always had a perfect view of the front steps, meaning they could see anyone who arrived. Liam had told him just before he left to meet Harry all about his new roommate. Louis thought it might be funny to put on a bit of a show. On another round of a 80s movie kick, he decided to channel his inner Rob Lowe. He threw on a dressing gown and long socks, even grabbed his maths textbooks and held it upside down. If only he had a tobacco pipe to tie the whole character together.

Walking in, Harry was confused to say the least. Which was exactly Louis’ intention. Tossing in his best intimidating stance he could foster, he grilled Harry for answers about his life. Wanted to see what type of guy he was, what his sense of humour was like. Then came the prank, which he still sometimes felt guilty for to this day, but less so when he remembered Harry’s revenge. When Louis found out he could deliver a joke just as well as he could take one, that’s when he knew they’d get on well. He just didn’t know it would end up being _this_ well.

So you could say Louis wasn’t great at first impressions. At least, not with people who mattered to him. This time he had to remind himself to tone it down and not go in for jokes right away. They were Harry’s blood, after all. How bad could they really be?

As it turned out, not bad at all.

“Harry!” Both Gemma and their mum spoke gleefully in unison. Louis and Harry were only just approaching their table. The dinner was in the dining hall, but the room seemed to have gotten an overnight upgrade. Each table had gleaming white tablecloths and centerpieces of colourful flowers. Dinner was being served by a wait staff instead of as a buffet. Everyone was wearing suits or dresses, even the teachers.

Harry hugged his sister first since she was closest, then his mum who held him for much longer. Understandably, so. She must’ve missed her boy. When they parted, Harry stepped back and rested his hand at the small of Louis’ back.

“So this is Louis,” Harry said, a proud grin on his face. “Louis, this is my mum, and my sister, Gemma.”

“Lovely to meet you both,” Louis said, extending a hand. Harry’s mum instead reached both her arms out and wrapped them around Louis’ shoulders.

“We don’t shake hands in this family, dear. It’s lovely to meet you too.” She smiled. It was so soft and warm. Not even a smile his own mother could compete with, and she was good at them.

“While mum might be fine with getting touchy, I’m going to say a handshake will do just fine,” Gemma said next. She was wearing a gorgeous short and shimmery blue dress. Just casual enough for the occasion, but still definitely able to turn heads. “I’ve heard plenty about you. Honestly, I can’t get him to shut up about you on our weekly phone calls most times. He always had such a crush on you, even back when-”

“Alright, I think that’s enough,” Harry said, smile tightening. His cheeks had turned a rosy shade of pink. Louis’ fond grin was getting far too wide.

“Come on, little brother, I have to embarrass you in front of your new boyfriend. As big sister, it is in the job description. Right next to cheesy, yet insightful life lessons.”

“See, now, that’s not how you get employee of the month.”

“Oh, I stopped trying for that a while ago. My goal now is purely to torment you.” She reached a hand out and pinched his cheek like an aunt would when you see her for Christmas dinner.

“And how exactly has that changed from before?” Harry retorted.

“Alright, you two, no more bickering. I want to sit down and enjoy this dinner,” Harry’s mum said, batting a hand between them.

Sitting around their side of the table, the other half shared with the family of a boy Louis and Harry only knew in passing, they spent the next half hour catching up. Louis was far more involved in the conversation than he expected to be. They asked him plenty of questions about his own family, where he was from, what it was like being at Rockcrest for so long. Harry even found out some things he didn’t know, like how Louis was in boy scouts for a year.

Louis later added in the story that he didn’t return because he got kicked out for accidentally burning a shed down on one of their camping trips. He just really grasped the lesson on how to start campfires and wanted to show off. It turned out, that wasn’t what free time was for, and campfires aren’t meant to start around wooden buildings. You could see why he left that part out of the story to tell Harry later.

“I think I’m going to refresh my drink. Anyone want anything?” Louis asked the table. Both Harry and his mum politely declined.

“I’ll come with you,” Gemma said, standing up before he could protest. Not that he would, but he could tell what this was going to be as soon as he saw her push out her chair. This was the “I’ll kill you if you hurt my brother” talk. He’d never received it before, but he’d seen enough movies.

“Not sure how much more vodka-free juice I can drink tonight,” Gemma muttered, scooping punch into her glass. They must’ve really wanted this to feel like a prom. “Do they really not have alcohol here of any kind?”

“There’ve been a few problems with drinking on campus, so they decided to go with a sober dinner tonight. At least, so I hear,” Louis shrugged. He poured coke from the bottle into his glass. “My friends and I might have had a bit of a hand in the reasoning for that,” he grimaced, pulling a flask from his inside his coat pocket.

“Oh, thank god!” Gemma exclaimed. “I had a feeling I could count on you. You better be sharing.”

“Sure, but it’s whiskey, not vodka.”

“Even better.” She held up her glass to him so he would begin pouring, using his body to shield it, then decided to change the subject. “So you and Harry, yeah?”

Here we go.

“Yeah. For about three months now.”

“So I’ve heard. And it’s going good? He treats you well?”

“You’re worried how _he_ treats _me_?”

“Well, he can be a little shit sometimes, can’t he?”

Louis’ laughter in response gave Gemma a second to sip her drink, smirking over the rim.

“Everything is good, yeah,” Louis nodded. “Really good.”

“Good to hear. I didn’t want to have to kick anyone’s ass. I’m starting to think I’ll have to kick Harry’s if he lets you get away.”

That made Louis blush, so he looked down at his feet. “You barely know me. I could be a total ass, for all you know.”

“I know you aren’t a total ass. Harry is far too in love with you for that to be the case. And lucky for him, he’s got a mum and big sister who are great at reading people. So we approve, in case you care.”

Louis creased his eyebrows together. “Why wouldn’t I- of course I care.”

“Good. That was a test and you passed. You now have the official Styles Stamp of Approval.” Gemma then grinned and linked her free arm in his. “Now, let’s get you back to your man.”

The night dragged on to a blur of speeches and alcohol-free toasts. Rob and Coach Evans spoke about the football team and their win that year. The events committee put together a slide show of pictures from the year dubbed over with the overplayed _Good Riddance_ by Green Day. Truthfully, ‘good riddance’ would not be the phrase to describe how Louis felt right now. The alternative title, _Time of Your Life,_ was much better suited. Not only did he have the time of his life at Rockcrest, but Rockcrest _was_ his life. He wasn’t quite ready for that to change yet.

The evening concluded with dessert, but Louis was done with his after only a few bites. Most of the courses he only made a few bites in. The food was great as always, he just really couldn’t stomach much at the moment.

He was still yet to see his own parents, aside from the wave of acknowledgement from across the room before he decided to sit with Harry’s family. They knew enough people here to keep them occupied, anyway. Actually approaching them to say hi and thank them for coming would probably be the appropriate thing to do, but the more Louis put it off, the harder it felt to do. He knew he and his dad were okay, or better, at the very least, but he still felt strange around them. He almost felt like he was a problem, a bad cold they couldn’t seem to get rid of. Like when you think you’ve recovered, but your nose just doesn’t stop running. But they didn’t want to get rid of him. They just wanted him to be better, same as he wanted them to.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Louis’ thoughts as he stared down at his dessert plate were dissolved by the sound of his mother’s voice. Both his parents stood at the end of their table, smiles eager and friendly as they looked between Gemma and Harry’s mum. “I don’t believe we’ve all met, but we’re the Tomlinsons; Louis’ parents. You must be the Styles’.”

“That, we are,” Harry’s mum replied. Their smiles were competing now, but not between them. Only in Louis’ mind. He couldn’t decide which one was winning.

“It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you,” Mr Tomlinson tagged on. Louis had to look at Harry to make sure he was hearing all of this right. This wasn’t their usual gala meet-and-greet introduction. This was real and personal. They weren’t meeting them in hopes of a future deal, they were meeting them as friends. Family, even.

“Why don’t you join us?” Gemma offered. The family next to them had ducked out early so their seats were open. The reasoning was probably from understandable boredom during those last few speeches. Even now, at least a quarter of the guests had to be gone already.

“I just need to say,” Harry’s mum began, leaning towards them as she spoke, “you two have raised a remarkable young man. So kind, intelligent, and such an authentic person. And I’ve been able to gather that’s just from today.” Then she looked directly at Louis. “I’m glad my Harry met him. You should be very proud.”

Louis’ parents glanced at each other, then at Louis, whose cheeks couldn’t get any pinker. He may have rarely heard his parents tell them they were proud, but he could see it now in their smiles that reached their eyes.

“Thank you,” Louis’ mum tilted her head to the side. “We would say the same about Harry, as well. We met him back over the holidays, as you know.”

“They really do seem great for each other, don’t they?” Gemma added, looking between the two of them. There were actually four sets of eyes on them now, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Harry reached for Louis’ hand under the table and squeezed it. They met each other’s eyes long enough to match grins. Louis really wanted to kiss him, but instead he pursed his lips as if to blow him a kiss, and Harry winked in return.

Right in the middle of their little moment, ruining it much sooner than Louis would have liked, Niall slapped an arm across each of their shoulders and leaned over so they were all at about the same level.

“Lads,” he grinned, turning his head from side to side to look at them both. “The guys and I want to see you outside. If that’s alright.” He looked up at the two mums for approval.

“This is Niall, by the way,” Harry said for his mum and Gemma’s benefit.

“Nice to meet you. And of course,” Harry’s mum said. “Go with your friends, we’ll be fine here.”

“Give the in-laws a chance to get to know each other, eh?” Niall said, laughing at his own joke before anyone else had a chance to react. Expecting a comment like that, Harry and Louis just brushed it off.

“Oh,” Mr Tomlinson chuckled awkwardly. “That might be getting a little carried away.”

“Did we forget to tell you?” Louis said in a high-pitched tone. “We were thinking a spring wedding. Outdoors, if the weather holds up. A green colour scheme to match Rockcrest, where we met. Should Harry have asked you before he popped the question?” While the sarcasm was clear, he forgot until the very end of his last sentence that Gemma and Harry’s mum were sitting right there and might not appreciate that level of sass.

“You better make me your Maid of Honor, Harry.” Gemma ended up chiming in, keeping her tone mocking enough to match Louis’. “I don’t care if you aren’t a bride, I want to throw the bachelor party.”

“Alright, alright,” Mr Tomlinson laughed a little softer. “I get it, I’ll butt out. Go on, you three.” He waved them away while Harry and Louis pushed out their chairs.

They rushed to the door along the back wall as if they were sneaking out. Not like they needed to sneak out. No one cared if they left, but this felt cooler. Out in the lobby were the rest of the guys, TJ looking at Louis with a smirk. He walked up next to him and threw an arm over his shoulder, Louis doing the same on reflex, then TJ proceeded to tuck a joint behind Louis’ ear.

“I was thinking we should all get out of here and smoke that out by the football field. You guys in?” TJ asked, mostly at Louis.

“Mate, you don’t even have to ask.”

The eight of them took the back exit out the main building, then walked the shortcut off the paths to get to the field. Harry and Niall joined TJ and Louis on either side as they strode, all linked together. Then Jonathan tacked on the end and stuck a foot out in front of Niall to trip him. Instead, the stumbling turned into a run, and soon they were all separated and racing to see who would get there first. Laughing, feet stomping across the grass, not having a care in the world. Not caring every once in a while was one of the best feelings there was. Pure adolescent apathy. It’s the only true way that your mind can get a break, and the last time in your life you can really get away with it.

Unsurprisingly, Rob was the first to hop up the bleachers. His legs were by far the longest and he was the only one to ever workout outside of practise, so not winning the impromptu race would probably put a damper on his ego.

As the rest trickled over, they formed a jagged circle going up the bleachers, some sitting down or straddling a bench, others standing around lazily. TJ stood at the highest point, retrieving the joint from Louis as he took long strides up. He placed it between his lips and lit the end to take the first puff, then handed it to Zayn next to him.

“What now, then?” TJ asked, blowing the smoke into the night air. “Do we reminisce? Talk about the future? How do we end this portion of our coming of age tale?”

“Are we of age?” Zayn asked, passing it to Niall.

“Far from it, I’d say,” Niall laughed.

Louis was next. “What does that even mean? Like at what point are we supposed to go ‘Oh, I guess I’m an adult now. Better start filling out tax forms and shopping for tea towels.’”

“Maybe that’s when it is. When you really start to develop an affinity for tea towels.” Jonathan joked, coughing a bit on the smoke.

“I’m thinking it’s after university. When you have to start deciding on a career and all that shit.” Rob’s hit was quick and only about enough to roll the smoke in his mouth.

“What are you all doing after this anyway?” Liam asked. He took a much longer drag, holding it in for a moment.

“Oxford, but you guys know that,” said Harry. He reached with two fingers to take the joint from Liam. Grabbing a little too close to the burning end, he quickly swapped hands and tried to mute his exclamation. No one needed to know that he just stupidly burned his fingers because he didn’t know how to hold it properly.

“You don’t have to have any if you don’t want, Harry,” Louis piped up over Rob’s explanation of his uni football scholarship. “No pressure.”

“It’s fine, I’ll try it. I’m going to cough though,” he laughed, then began to inhale only a small amount. As soon as the smoke hit his lungs it was bitter and off-putting. He managed to blow it back out before the sputtering began.

“No, man, blow it outside of the circle,” TJ said, waving a hand in front of his face before he reached for his turn.

“Sorry, sorry,” Harry mumbled, the taste still lingering in his mouth.

As the joint circled twice more, everyone announced their plans for the year. Zayn, Liam, and TJ all had no plans. Well, to work, but they wanted to take their gap year to figure everything out. Niall and Rob were both headed to school in London and Harry and Louis, of course, had their plans in Oxford. Then there was Jonathan who was headed to Cambridge, his overall marks for the year only ranking slightly lower than Harry’s.

The last person it landed on before it was done was Niall, who promptly stamped it out on the bench, then tossed it on the ground underneath the bleachers. As he watched where it landed, he noticed an old football was resting against one of the metal bars. Without warning, he jogged to the end of the row then hopped down, retrieving the ball.

“Anyone up for a kick around?” Niall asked, throwing it in the air and catching it again. It was a little soft, but not totally deflated.

“I’m in,” Rob said first, followed by Liam. Most of the others got up as well. Even Harry, who normally couldn’t care less about football, decided ‘why not?’ Louis, however, chose to hang back with Zayn, who was pulling out his flask from his pocket. He took a swig, then handed it to Louis as he scooted closer to him across the cold seats.

“Why aren’t you playing? You love football.” Zayn said, watching him tilt the flask up. Louis was starting to get tired of whiskey, but it was the only liquor that was tolerable when you drank it straight.

“I don’t know. Feels weird, I guess. Haven’t really been able to get back into it since… you know.”

“You can’t just never play again because you got kicked off a team in school. You’re still great at it either way.”

“I’ll play again. Eventually.” Louis hummed and watched the guys out on the field. No teams were made and no rules were being followed. They were laughing and falling over and trying to score on Harry, who wasn’t that great at goal anyway. They were just having fun. That was all.

“You know, I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through these last few years without TJ’s fake ID service,” Zayn laughed, taking another drink. “We would’ve been screwed until Liam turned eighteen.”

“Nah, man, I turned eighteen before he did.”

Zayn looked at him, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “When did you turn eighteen?”

“About eighteen months ago.”

“You’re nineteen?”

Louis nodded casually.

“Huh. What else do I not know about you?”

“Who knows?” Louis shrugged, because really, it didn’t matter.

These guys, they were all his friends. And they’d always been his best friends from Rockcrest, but they wouldn’t always be in his life, wouldn’t always be around to know everything that happens to him, or vice versa. They were going to all grow apart and live their own separate lives, and that was okay. They still had the memories, and they still had right now.

“Are you happy?” Zayn asked. His head was turned and rested on his hand. “You know, about leaving Rockcrest, and moving forward with your life. Or do you find it kind of depressing?”

“Both, I think. I’m sad to be leaving all this behind, but right now, at this point in my life, how could I not be happy?”

“Fair answer.” He nodded, then paused for a moment. Zayn glanced out at his friends, then back to Louis. An odd smile creeped on his face.

“I want to tell the guys that I’m gay,” Zayn said. His tone was eager, not anxious.

“Now?”

“Yeah, now. I think I’m ready, you know? Leave Rockcrest without any secrets. Well, one, but that one doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Well then yeah, mate, tell them. As long as you’re ready.”

Then Zayn stood up, but instead of walking down the steps, he cupped his hands around his mouth. Louis watched him with concern as he shouted. “HEY!” at the top of his lungs. The game in front of them paused and their friends all turned towards the bleachers. Zayn took a deep breath and Louis could see the courage bubbling in his eyes. “I’m gay!” he shouted again.

There was a brief moment of silence, probably more out of confusion as to why Zayn was screaming than about what he actually announced. Then he added, a little quieter, but still yelling, “Just thought you should know!”

“That’s great, man!” Liam shouted back.

“Still love you!” Niall added, dramatically patting the left side of his chest.

From the net, Louis could see Harry grinning and offering a thumbs up in Zayn’s direction. Zayn returned the gesture.

When he sat back down, Zayn was smiling. That smile was as loud as his voice, and Louis didn’t even know he could be that loud.

“How did that feel?” Louis asked, patting him on the back. Zayn was looking at the ground, then at him.

“Fucking amazing.”

“Freeing, isn’t it?”

Zayn nodded introspectively. Then Louis watched him for a few moments and arose promptly.

“Let’s go play with the rest of ‘em,” he said. “Just for a game. One last time, yeah?”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Zayn stood up and followed him down the steps. They sprinted out onto the field and Louis ran right to Niall who was dribbling the ball. He got possession of it right away, having taken Niall completely off guard. He tried to kick in towards the net, but Rob was quick on the defence.

Louis missed this.

The one game Louis intended on lasted for about an hour. An hour of laughing and yelling and one quick break for another round of a joint. Of getting their nice clothes from dinner covered in dirt and grass stains, and remembering the feeling of being out on that field. Of not having a care in the world.

But right now, Louis cared so much. About the people he was with and the memories he made. He cared about Rockcrest and the life he had here. He was going to miss it, his friends, sneaking out, all the trouble they caused, meeting the first and only boy he ever loved. Everything. But that was okay. He knew that now.

Besides, if nothing ever comes to an end, is anything ever really worth it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter coming June 2nd.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm going to try my best to make this brief. I've never been prouder of a fic and I'm really glad I got to share it with you guys over the last few months. Thank you so much to everyone for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting as I wrote this!! It was incredibly encouraging to see and I really appreciated it. Honestly this was insanely fun to write and I really feel like I've improved so much as I went.  
> In case you'd like to read more from me, I do have another fic coming out later this month. It won't be as long as this one, but it will be multi-chaptered. I think it's unlike anything I've written before and I'm really looking forward to posting it, so look out for that if you'd like.
> 
> In the meantime, it's about time we all say a final goodbye to Rockcrest...

In hindsight, packing up the dorm probably should’ve been something Harry and Louis planned to do at least a week in advance. Instead, they decided to use up the entire day on Sunday to get everything into boxes and bags, with an intention to leave early the next morning after spending a night in the London house. Louis had one of his dad’s cars – a much less expensive one this time – which he was allowed to use to drive him and Harry back up north. The plan was to stay at Harry’s a few days, then head back home to his own house. He didn’t know yet if Harry was coming home with him, but they already knew they were going to spend most of the summer together regardless. Especially since Louis already planned on taking Harry to the family beach house for a couple of weeks in July. Just the two of them alone on the other side of the world, right next to the Pacific Ocean. Louis couldn’t imagine anything better.

“How many t-shirts do you own?” Harry asked, exasperated. They were sat on the floor of Louis’ closet folding up all the clothes to fit into two large duffel bags. Harry’s closet was already emptied and his desk was cleared. Since Louis had about three times as many belongings as Harry, his side of the room was a much bigger challenge.

“Ideally enough so I wouldn’t have had to do laundry, but clearly that didn’t work.” Louis’ job was to fold jeans and collect shoes. He was starting to wonder how he even got this many articles of clothing in here at the beginning of the year.

“I think I’ve folded about thirty of them so far, even though I only see you wear the same five every day. And one of those five you stole from me.”

“I can’t help that your shirts are so much more comfortable than mine,” Louis shrugged. “That Pink Floyd one is coming home with me.” He sat up on his knees to he could reach the first shelf and clear it of belts and loose socks.

“Fine, then I’m packing that red knitted jumper that you always put on right out of the dryer.”

“Will you at least think of me every time you wear it?” He asked playfully.

“I’ll try, but I might be thinking about how much I miss my Pink Floyd shirt instead.”

Louis tossed a balled up sock in his direction. Harry laughed and scrunched up his nose as it bounced off of cheek.

“Maybe the Pink Floyd shirt will give you an excuse to come visit this summer, then,” Harry smirked, placing the last folded shirt into the bag. The closet was almost completely empty now.

“Or maybe a certain cute boy with green eyes and messy curls will give me an excuse to never leave to begin with.”

“Oh, and who’s that?” Harry mocked jealousy. Giggling, Louis lowered himself onto Harry’s lap and draped his legs on either side of his hips. He wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and Harry folded his hands behind Louis’ back. They sat wordlessly for a few moments, just grinning at each other.

“I could marry you,” Harry said, looking curiously into Louis’ eyes.

“Marry me?” Louis raised an eyebrow. Just the word made his heart thump extra hard on its next beat. “You know I was just kidding about that last night.”

“I know, but I could. Not now, but one day.”

“You could, or you want to?”

“Oh, I want to. If you asked me to go to the city hall with you today, I’d do it. But you’re too practical.”

Louis smiled, lifting a hand to trace his thumb across Harry’s chin, then up to his cheek bone. “I guess I am. I’d just want to do it right, you know? Scope out a venue, taste different kinds of cakes, pick out flowers. Maybe actually be finished with uni by the time all this happens.” Harry breathed a laugh at that last comment. “What made you think of all this?”

“I dunno. Maybe what you said yesterday. The idea always kind of lingers in the back of my mind.”

“We haven’t been together that long,” Louis reminded him. “And we’re still practically kids.”

“That’s true, but we’ve known each other longer. Hell, we’ve lived together longer.”

“Also true.”

“But would you marry me?”

“Is that a proposal?”

“Not yet. More like a theoretical question.”

“Probably.” Then Louis smiled. “Yeah, I would.”

“Not now, though. One day,” Harry said.

“One day,” Louis agreed.

He leaned forward and kissed Harry, holding his cheeks in each hand. He intended for it to be a peck, soft and sweet and enough to satisfy his craving of the feeling, but then Louis found himself not wanting to pull away. As he began pushing Harry backwards, Harry hesitantly gave in and let himself lay down.

“Louis,” Harry said when he felt Louis’ hand making its way near the button on his jeans. “We have so much to do still.”

“But this would be the last time in this room.”

“That was last night.”

“Can’t we spare another ten minutes?” Louis said, kissing his neck. His mouth was just so conveniently close to it.

“We have all summer, babe. There’s plenty of time when we get to my house.”

Suddenly Louis sat up properly, resting his hands on Harry’s stomach, while Harry propped himself up on his elbows. “We can’t have sex in your mother’s house, Harry,” he said defiantly.

Harry snorted. “Why not?”

“It’s your _mother’s_ house.”

“What about when we go to your house? Are you okay with having sex in _your_ mother’s house?”

Louis winced and gritted his teeth. “Those two words do not belong in the same sentence.”

“You said it first!” Harry defended, laughing.

“Fine,” Louis sighed. “That really killed the mood, didn’t it?”

“I think we should agree that there will be no more ‘mother’ talk in scenarios like you being on top of me while my jeans are undone.”

“That sounds fair.”

Louis crawled off of him and stood back up, taking a stack of folded trousers with him. Re-buttoning his jeans, Harry insisted he could finish with the clothes if Louis moved onto the mess that was his desk and night table drawers. It had been ages since Louis even thought to go through his night table drawer. At the beginning it was for keepsakes, then he ended up throwing in whatever he needed out of the way. If he remembered right, there was still an old pack of cigarettes in there from before he quit months ago.

Across the room Harry’s phone started ringing from his bed. Louis strolled over casually and picked it up to check the ID when Harry asked who it was.

“It’s a London number. Not in your contacts,” Louis said. “Do you want me to answer it?”

Harry was already standing up and crossing the room, brow furrowed. “It’s okay, I’ll answer it.”

Louis handed the phone over and stepped to the side to leave Harry to it. He instead moved a box off the chair, sat at his desk, and opened the top drawer, ready to finally throw away all the garbage and papers that were piling up in there. He was only slightly listening to the phone call just a few feet from him.

“Hello?” He first heard Harry ask, voice questioning. While he lowered the volume, there was still music playing from the speakers so he couldn’t hear the voice on the other end. “Yes, that’s me.” There was a brief pause, and then Harry said, “Oh… hi.” His tone was stiff. Louis turned around to read the expression on his face, but Harry was facing the other way.

“I’ve been alright, you?... Yeah, no, it has been a long time… You’re living in London now?...”

Louis couldn’t even begin to guess who it was on the other line. He tried to stage whisper Harry’s name to get his attention, but he only waved a hand to get him to quiet down.

“Next week? Actually, I’m in London right now. I’m leaving tomorrow…”

When he finally sat down on his bed and Louis could see his face, Harry was a mixture of confusion and distress. His hand was raised to his forehead and propped up by his elbow on his knee.

“Is it really that important that you have to see me in-... I guess I could try to make it… Have you spoken to Gemma?”

 _Gemma?_ That meant this was a family issue. It had to be. But as far as Louis knew, Harry’s only family lived back home where he was from, and this phone call sounded less than pleasant.

“Can you send me the address?... Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then, I guess… Alright, bye.”

When Harry hung up, he dropped the phone on his bed and rubbed his eyes, brushing the hair back and away from his face. He rested his chin on his hands and looked away at the wall for a moment to collect his thoughts.

“Is everything alright?” Louis asked tentatively.

“Um, I don’t know.” His tone was high, but questioning, not upset. “I think so.”

“Who was that?”

Harry looked at his phone one more time. He didn’t know if he was stalling, or just trying to confirm in his head that that phone call actually did just happen.

“It was my dad.”

“Your dad?” Louis raised both eyebrows, then realized his look of shock probably wasn’t helping. “I thought you didn’t have any contact with your dad.”

“I don’t. Well, not recently. He used to call on birthdays and Christmas, but hasn’t for about three years.” He looked at his phone again, then mumbled, “Should’ve changed my number.”

“What did he want?”

“He asked to meet me. Said he had something important to tell me, and he’s calling Gemma next. Sounded serious.”

“When was the last time you saw him in person?”

Harry shrugged, “Eight years, probably. He dropped a card off at the house on my tenth birthday. He left ten pounds in it and just wrote ‘from dad’, then disappeared. Mum told us he got a job out of town. Who knows where he really went…”

“You’re sure you want to meet him?” Louis was leaning forward in his chair and looking directly at him, but Harry was struggling to meet his eyes.

“No,” Harry said, almost laughing. “But I think I should. And if I don’t do it now, I probably never will.”

“You’re sure?” he asked again.

He hesitated for much longer than Louis expected, which answered the question in itself. No, Harry really didn’t want to have to see his dad, but yes, he needed to do it. For the closure, if anything. His blood would always tie him to this guy, so it was either sever or mend at this point. It was about time for Harry to decide which choice was best for him.

“Is it alright if we make a stop to see him on the way home? It shouldn’t take long,” Harry said. He didn’t sound sad or upset in any way. He sounded ready and hopeful. Maybe not for the best, but at least for some answers he may have been looking for.

“Of course it is,” Louis quickly nodded. “You can take as much time as you need.”

Harry’s phone rang next to him again and relief flushed over him as he checked the ID. “It’s Gemma,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind if I take this in the hall.”

“Not at all. I’ll see if I can get these drawers emptied,” Louis’ smile was forced, and so was Harry’s as he brought the phone to his ear and left the room.

 

Later that night the room was stripped to only a few boxes and bags in the centre of the floor. The bedding was gone, the posters were off the walls, and the surfaces were all bare. The space had never before been so empty.

It took about four trips to get everything into the car. Louis was thankful the car was a hatchback because he hadn’t even considered how much space they were going to need for all those boxes. On the last round up to the third floor to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything, Louis examined the room. Not looking for anything, just at everything.

This specific dorm he had only been in one year, but they all looked the same. For seven years, he had lived in the same four walls. Those walls that were always decorated differently and all held different secrets. People always say “If these walls could talk…”, but this was the first time Louis had ever considered the phrase. Sure he had his own memories, but if only they could tell him what didn’t stand out so prominently. The deep conversations, the passing jokes while hanging out with friends, the late nights he couldn’t remember, the nights he wished he could’ve…

Seven years is a long time to do any one thing constantly, or be in any one place. After that long, you become attached and it’s so much harder to let go. But leaving Rockcrest didn’t have to mean tears and sappy goodbyes. It could just mean moving on to the next stage in life, which is exactly what Louis was ready to do.

He and Harry didn’t talk much about what leaving Rockcrest would mean because it didn’t mean the same thing to both of them. For Harry, it was his year of adventure, of meeting new people, of falling in love. For Louis, it was where he grew up, met who became his second family, and morphed into who he was now. And he couldn’t have asked for a better place to be raised.

As for their group of friends, goodbyes were implied the night before. The ones that mattered, at least. Where you say what you really mean and go back and forth with the inevitable reminiscing. Today, it was a hug and quick a “See you later, man!” before throwing bag over their shoulders and walking out those doors for, what very well could be, the last time. That was how it should be, Louis thought. He was going to miss these guys a whole lot, and maybe not see them again for years, but no one was dying. They’d all see each other again at some point. It was just a matter of when.

So when Louis walked out the dorm room and down the stairs, past the common room and out the door, along the stone paths until he reached the main gates, he wore a smile. The smile was filled with pride and content and pure, uncompromisable happiness. He felt fulfilled, he felt a bit of sadness, but he also felt eager. Louis was ready to leave Rockcrest. He wanted to find out what else the universe had waiting for him. It already gave him so much at this school, who’s to say what else there was in store?

In the parking lot Louis opened his door and sat in the driver’s seat, waiting a few moments after Harry closed his side to start the engine.

“That was incredible,” Harry said. They were still sat in silence.

“What was?” asked Louis. He pulled his gaze away that was stuck on all the buildings in front of him.

“Everything. This whole year. I was just thinking about it while we walked here and it really was the best year of my life. I had no idea what to expect, but Rockcrest was incredible.”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed, nodding slowly as he turned the key and the engine roared. “It really was.”

 

The next day ahead of them was set to be long, so all they really did upon arrival at the London house was order supper then go to bed. Knowing what the events of tomorrow would bring, Harry had trouble getting himself to doze off. The two of them were laying in Louis’ bed, Louis with his arm wrapped snuggly across Harry’s chest. Harry could feel Louis’ slow breaths against his back, meaning he was already deep in sleep.

Harry stared at the wall in front of him, a painted picture of a pot of roses hanging there. Pretty generic for a teenage boy’s room, but Louis always said this house wasn’t a home. Harry thought he just meant in the décor, how it was almost like a hotel, but now he wondered what made something home for Louis. He always called their dorm home, which was odd because it was just a room. But maybe it was more the feeling. At least, that’s what Harry thought the word meant. Even right now, with Louis curled up next to him, he felt like he was at home. _Especially_ right now.

 

“You look nervous,” Louis said, turning his head to look at Harry from the driver’s seat. Harry was sipping on herbal tea that they picked up from a coffee shop on the way out. He was trying to quit caffeine all together. Said it only ever made him feel worse.

“Yeah, because I am,” Harry snapped, but then his face softened when he realized the way the words came out. “Sorry, I didn’t-”

“Don’t even worry about it.” Louis looked at him again, watching for only a second as he chewed on the rim of his paper cup, then let his eyes fall back on the road.

Harry sighed. “I just wish I knew what all this was about.”

“He didn’t tell you at all?”

“No, all he said was that it was important and he wanted me to come to his house.”

“You’re sure the guy on the phone was your dad and not some creep, right?” Harry looked at him, expression unamused. “Not the time for jokes. Got it.”

“It’s just, why would he want to meet at his house? Why not at a café or something?”

“Maybe he’s sick and can’t leave the house. If it’s serious, that could be what he needs to tell you.”

“What, you think he’s dying?”

“No, I’m just saying that’s a possibility. Or maybe he needs something from you because of it.”

“Like a kidney?” Louis shrugged, but Harry just shook his head. “No, if he needed something he wouldn’t wait this long or ask if I was free next week. He would’ve said it over the phone. I don’t know if you could tell by the way he abandoned his wife and kids, but my dad is pretty selfish.”

“Harry, you don’t have to do this,” he said quietly. “We can just go home and you don’t have to see him at all.”

“Yes I do.” His voice was firm and Louis knew there was no use arguing. As much as he wanted to protect Harry, this wasn’t a choice for him to make. Harry had to do this, if not for himself, then for his family. Louis was there for support, but this wasn’t his battle.

The address on the GPS brought them to a neighbourhood full of big white houses and green lawns with freshly mowed grass. Harry looked out the window at each one passing by as Louis navigated the turns and looked at the numbers.

“And he’s been saying for years he couldn’t afford child support,” Harry snorted. “Looks like he found a better way to invest his booze money.” The way he said it sounded like a joke, but Louis didn’t laugh. This wasn’t a situation he was allowed to make light of, only Harry could, if that’s how he chose to get through it.

“You said Gemma’s not coming at all, right?” Louis asked. They were on the right street now, it was just a matter of getting to the right house.

“No, she’s not. Didn’t want me to go either, but I said I’ll let her know what he has to say.”

“Does your mum know you’re here?”

“God, no. It would crush her if she knew. It’s better if we just keep it between the few of us.”

“Understood,” Louis said, then he was pulling up next to a curb. “Number 122. This is it.”

Harry looked out his side window at the house next to them. There was no white picket fence, but there might as well have been. A curved stone pathway led to the pillared doorway of the brick house. It wasn’t as big as Louis’ house, which was the biggest house he had for comparison, but it was two stories and looked like about three of his own houses combined. How the hell his dad ended up able to afford this, Harry had no idea.

He placed his hand on the door handle, then looked at Louis as he took a deep breath.

“If you need me to come in with you, I can,” he offered with a tiny smile.

“S’alright,” Harry sighed. He wished Louis could come with him, just for the support above all else, but he didn’t want his dad to meet him. He didn’t need to add on to whatever drama was sure to come from this visit. Even more than that- “I need to do this alone.”

Louis nodded in understanding. “Good luck. Just text me if anything goes wrong or you need anything at all. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thanks, Lou,” he said, then finally opened the door.

Louis watched Harry walk briskly to the front door, head turning back and forth to examine his surroundings. Just having to know he had to do this was worrying enough for Louis, he couldn’t imagine how much stress Harry had been going through in the last 24 hours.

During the drive to the London house and overnight he seemed relatively alright. They didn’t talk about the visit at all. Harry preferred to do his processing internally. He had probably gone over every possible scenario in his head already, but was doing a good job at hiding it. He was a bit more fidgety than normal, but Louis just tried to do whatever he could to help Harry get his mind off it. They played video games for a bit after supper, then tried to watch a movie before bed. Louis was so tired from the day of packing and cleaning that he almost immediately dozed off, but Harry assured in the morning that he was fine and at least got some sleep.

This morning was when he started to notice the nerves kick into overdrive. Harry claimed he wasn’t hungry before they left, but Louis eventually convinced him to get a muffin when they stopped for coffee. He only ate half, but at least it was something. On the drive, he wasn’t able to stop hitting his knees together and tapping on his leg. He was so quiet, and that’s how Louis knew that his brain was working in overdrive. But Harry was handling it. He was doing so much better.

Louis couldn’t see what the person looked like who answered the door, but he saw Harry walk in and the door close behind him. To try and drown out the silence, Louis turned the radio up then reclined his seat slightly. He also made sure the ringer on his phone was on so he could hear if Harry texted him. The sun felt extra bright as _Heroes_ by David Bowie sounded through the speakers. Louis accidentally met eyes with a woman on a bike as she passed by. Louis sent her a half-hearted wave, but she seemed less than impressed with the music booming through her wholesome suburban neighbourhood. But who doesn’t like Bowie?

Louis didn’t fall asleep, but the opening of the passenger door once again startled him as if he was. Harry sat down quickly, not looking upset or angry in anyway, just calm. Maybe even a bit confused. When Louis looked at the clock, he noticed only about ten minutes had gone by.

“Let’s go,” Harry said, shouting over the speakers until Louis turned down the dial.

Louis took the car out of park and began driving as they both buckled their seatbelts at the same time. He waited about a minute before asking anything to see if Harry had to collect his thoughts, but he was too impatient to wait any longer.

“What did he have to say?” Louis finally blurted.

Harry ran a hand through his hair to brush it out of his face, then rested his elbow next to the window. “He’s getting remarried,” he said. “In August. Wanted to know if Gemma and I wanted to come to the wedding. Even introduced me to his fiancée.”

“Oh, wow,” Louis raised his eyebrows. “No warning or anything?”

“Nope. She was standing right next to him when he opened the door even. She’s a doctor, which explains the house, and he said he’s gotten into real estate. Nice woman, I suppose. Doesn’t mean anything to me, though.”

“You aren’t going?”

Harry shook his head. “I told him I’m happy for him, but we don’t need to be there. Then I wished him good luck in his new life and I left.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

A beat of silence passed as Louis looked back and forth between Harry and the road. He was just looking out the window. No more confusion. Just calm.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled. It was hard to tell if the smile was forced or genuine because it looked like a strange mixture of both. “I don’t need him in my life, and I think I know that for sure, now. When I looked at him, I barely even recognized him. He was like a stranger.” He paused to think, and Louis didn’t interrupt. “I know who I care about. I have my friends and I have my family. And I have you. That’s more than enough.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, love,” Louis grinned. He took Harry’s hand and kissed the back of it reassuringly, then just kept holding it, giving it a light squeeze every once in a while.

“I think it’s good I went, you know?”

“You needed the closure,” he agreed.

“I feel like I can finally move on. I can be excited for university, to live in another new city, for us to get a real flat together. All these new experiences are just around the corner, Louis. New memories, new stories to tell. It’s like what they said in that movie we watched: It’s all happening!”

Harry wasn’t wrong, but his voice was so eager and childlike that Louis couldn’t help but laugh.

“Pull over,” Harry demanded. He was already taking off his seatbelt and his mouth was twisted into a mischievous grin.

“Why?”

“Just pull over.”

They had finally left the city and were on a two-lane highway. No cars were coming, but the shoulder was just hardly wide enough for a car to fit.

“Switch places with me,” Harry said once the car was in park. He was already opening the door so Louis wasn’t given the chance to protest.

As they crossed paths in front of the car, Harry grabbed Louis’ face and kissed him as they spun around, then let him go so he could get into the driver’s seat. Louis had no idea what had gotten into Harry, but he wasn’t going to ask. He liked this side of him, even if it only showed up every once in a while.

Harry put the car back into drive and pulled out from the curb effortlessly. He still didn’t have any sort of license, but this sudden confidence was such a change from how nervous he was back in the fall when he first sat behind the wheel.

Louis turned the radio up as loud as their ears could tolerate - so they could only barely shout over it. Then Harry rolled down the windows and the wind made it even nosier, but it didn’t matter because how free they felt was so much more important. Right now, all Harry could think about was how lucky he was that he met the most interesting and exciting person he had ever met while he was so young, and how long that meant he would be able to spend with him.

That glow that Louis always noticed in Harry, it was back again even brighter than ever. He was grinning so wide – both of them were – and his hair was sort of flopping around and he was singing along to the lyrics as loud as he could. And Louis was reminded again of how he loved this boy so much, and this boy loved him back.

So with the wind blowing, music blaring, minds filled with memories, and hearts filled with love, Harry drove them home, but Louis kind of already felt like he was there.


End file.
